FRAMED: A STORY OF CORRUPTION AND MURDER IN SOUTH PARK

Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny are arrested for murder. They know nothing about it. It is all a suspicious plan of one of the town's favourite citizens, in order to claim back insurance money. Kyle's mind gets slowly warped, due to being inside a jail cell for such a long period of time, and he starts to believe he committed murder all by himself. The others try to convince him that his mind is playing tricks on him, that he is completely innocent, and should not tell Officer Barbrady what he thinks he did. Kyle confesses to the murder shortly afterwards, though, and drags the boys into what appears to be a deep web of conspiracy and lies...

DISCLAIMER: South Park does not belong to me, the show belongs to creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker. I really wish it did belong to me, though!

BE WARNED, THIS STORY CONTAINS FOUL LANGUAGE AND IS RATED AS SUCH, SO IF YOU LIKE SOUTH PARK EXPECT THE LANGUAGE NORMALLY SHOWN ON TV!

Chapter Two: ARREST

Cartman was at home, watching television (The Terence and Phillip Show) when the doorbell rang. Cartman, annoyed that he might have to move off the sofa to answer it, scowled.

"Mom, answer the doorbell!"

Cartman's mother Leanne popped her head round the door. "But hon, I'm busy cooking dinner!"

"But...Mom! I don't wanna answer it!" Cartman screeched, pretending to cry so that he would get his own way.

"Ok, hon, I'm coming," his mum said, walking towards the door. Cartman frowned. "I can't see the tv," he complained.

When his mother came back, having answered the door, Cartman was not at all surprised to find out that his friends were with her.

"Go play with your little friends, hon," his mother told him.

"but MOM! I don't want to play with my little friends," Cartman whined. "They're assholes!"

"So are you," Stan said.

"MOM! I told you they're idiots. One's an asshole, one's a jew, and one can't talk properly! What is he, retarded?" Cartman complained. He was definetly determined not to go out: after all, his favourite episode of Terence And Phillip was on after the current one.

"GO PLAY WITH YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS!" Leanne Cartman yelled, shocking Cartman into submission. He went with them, muttering things like 'I'll kill the bitch' under his breath.

"Cartman, no way would you kill your mother so stop saying it," Kyle said. "You're already an asshole: you don't need to be a lying asshole as well." Kyle smirked when he said this. He just loved winding Cartman up, it got him so hot!

A car pulled up, and Cartman momnetarily forgot about his desire to kill his mom. The window wound down and the boys were peering into the eyes of the school chef.

"Why, hello children," Chef said.

"Hey chef," the boys muttered.

"What's up? You sound down," Chef said. He got out of his car and shut the door.

"We are, Chef," Stan said. "We're down about Cartman being such a fat ass and a lying asshole, and I think we want to kill him. Right, Kyle?"

Kyle nodded. He knew exactly where this was going.

Kenny said nothing. He knew was was going to happen. He knew that if you wanted to live while you were Eric Cartman's friend, you didn't insult him. He knew that Stan and Kyle were headed to their doom. He zipped up his parka a bit more and walked a few steps away, eyeing the scene from a safe distance.

Cartman said nothing.

"Ok, well have fun children," Chef told them kindly, and got in his car and drove away.

"You guys are the absolute Jew kings of the world!" Cartman hissed at them. "I hope you all die and go to concentration camps! Especially YOU, Kyle! Since you are a real Jew an all!"

Cartman's anger seemed to be rapidly accelerating with every passing second. Kyle couldn't speak. For once in his life, he was speechless. He had no idea how to respond to Cartman's comment.

Luckily, Stan did it for him.

"Just cause you're jealous."

Cartman laughed. "Jealous? Of what? Of being a goddman hippy asshole, and a Jew? you wish, Stan. you wish."

"That's it. I've had enough." Kyle's voice broke into the conversation. "Cartman, you treat me like crap all the time, tell me I'm not better than you, make fun of me because I'm a jew.. well, I've had enough. I'm not going to be your friend anymore. And Stan, if you had enough sense, you'd follow me." He turned to Kenny. "You too. Come on guys."

He ran off, sniffing.

Cartman laughed. "Oh man! He really is pissed, eh? Well he'll soon find out that nobody wants to know him because he sucks, and he'll come straight back! Filthy Jew!"

Stan said nothing. Speechlessness had taken over him, too.

-----

The south Park police department rarely gets any action. The citizens of South Park are normally good, law-abiding citizens. This Friday night, however, was different. Officer Barbrady was sitting in his swivel chair, watching a comedy film that had been repeated dozens of times on the television, when he got a phone call.

"Barbrady, Officer 908642, speaking," he said. The speaker said something, and he gasped. "What, a murder? in south park? Oh, finally, some action! Oh yes, yes, yes!"

The other end of the phone went quiet.

Barbrady pulled himself together and spoke into the reciever. "Oh, no, sorry sir, I didn't mean it that way. So, you say the murderers are four boys, about aged 10? One has a orange parka?"

The speaker sighed. "Yes."

Barbrady smiled. "Well, I think you will be very pleased with me - I know who the muderers are and I shall go and arrest them right now."

He hung up, happier than he'd been in quite a while.

-----

At precisely 9:02pm, Stan Marsh, Kyle Brovlovski, Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick were arrested for murder. They were taken to the local police station and questioned by Officer Barbrady, who beat them with a stick every time they refused to answer what he asked them...

----

"All one, in a cold jail cell, on the day I was supposed to ask Bebe out," Kyle muttered to no one in particular, tapping his fingers on the cold dark metal. "I can't believe this is happening. I'm innocent, I tell you, I'm innocent!"

Officer Barbrady, who was drinking a cup of coffee and reading the evening paper, took one look at him and decided what he was doing was more interesting.

"Calm down, Kyle," Stan said. "We need to figure out why we were framed."

"Frawmed? What's that, a new tv show?" Cartman asked, from the top bunk of the mangy bed.

"No, fat ass. It means that somebody has set us up, thrown us in here for some reason, and we don't know why," Stan informed Cartman, who still had a blank look on his face.

"I have no idea what you are talking about, asshole," Cartman said.

"Somebody wants us dead, or worse. They want us to rot in jail," Kyle said, and finally Cartman understood. The four of them stood at the window, looking at the pond and wishing they could be there right now, instead of inside a jail cell with no idea why they were there.