Since some of you lovely people decided to not hate this immediately, here is the next chapter. Let me know what you think.
And with one look at Bernie's closed eyes, sweaty hands grabbing at the armrest and clearly agitated breathing patterns, Serena realizes two things. Bernie is afraid of flying. And her big macho army medic is trying to conceal it.
"Bernie?" Serena whispered. No reaction. So she gently pried Bernie's hand from the arm rest that she was clinging to right next to her and settled both of their intertwined hands onto her lap. "Bernie, have you forgotten to tell me something?"
Bernie turned her head slightly and opened her eyes to look at her. "I am an extraterrestrial being and around 148 years old?"
Serena huffed. "Bernie!"
"I went to a Spice Girls concert with Charlotte once and I might have liked a few of their songs?"
"Good to know, try again," Serena laughed.
Bernie took a deep, dramatic breath. "I forgot to water the cactus before we left the office."
"Not what I meant," Serena said. "And I know you would forget that's why I watered him. Poor Theodore, I don't want him looking like a shrivelled up cucumber in a week's time."
"I thought you had named him after me," Bernie wondered. "It had a tiny birth certificate with my name on it," Bernie said. "I remember it quite clearly. You gave it to me after I returned from you-know-where."
"Darling, you're not quite as cactus-y now that I am not angry anymore and know you, you know, intimately," Serena said and she blushed at the thought of last nights' shenanigans and the night before that and a few frantic kisses during the early shift before that.
Bernie snorted. "So you thought you could name him after my cousin?" Bernie laughed.
"Well, he was a little greenish when we last saw him, don't you think? The fact that you had your hand up my skirt in the middle of a restaurant probably didn't help."
"I touched your knee, Serena. Under the table," Bernie sighed. Remembering the anxious shock she had felt when she realized the waiter glaring at them from across the room had indeed been her cousin Theodore, she felt even sicker.
She hated it when others made her feel like she couldn't do things or wasn't allowed to. That was one of the reasons why she had chosen a career in the military. It wasn't considered decent for a young woman back then, at least not her. She had strongly felt that she needed to prove to her father that he didn't need a son for someone to follow in his footsteps.
Now, it angered her, when she did not feel comfortable to express her feelings. Sometimes, it was of her own doing because she couldn't shed those chains she was blessed with as a prim and proper British child. Sometimes, more often than not, it were disapproving glares and hushed whispers of random people, or, as it were, distant cousins, that made her too uncomfortable to reach out and hold Serena's hand, brush a strand behind her ear, kiss her out of the blue. Sometimes she got scared as well, but that was another thing she was keeping to herself for now.
Serena often wondered what Bernie was thinking about when she drifted into space like that. She knew there were things they had not talked about, things they did not know about each other. Both of them were left with bruised and broken hearts after their marriages failed and all other attempts at finding love had been aborted. But she also knew that Bernie couldn't be left to wallow in self-pity, much worse self-loathing. And she couldn't be left feeling like she was all alone in the world, because, if it was up to Serena, Bernie would be anything but alone for all days to come.
The creaking and humming of the landing gears being retracted disrupted Serena's thoughts. Bernie was trembling by now. Since her girlfriend – and she blushed a little using that term, even it was only in her head – had obviously decided to pretend to be fine for the next one and a half hours, all Serena could think of, was to distract her.
"Did I tell you about that one time Elinor broke her arm in kindergarten?" she asked. Bernie shook her head. "Well," Serena said, "it was awful." And so she talked and talked until she felt that Bernie had calmed herself.
"You know, you can stop talking about strange injuries for now," Bernie laughed and squeezed Serena's hand and added: "Thank you." Serena simply smiled at her and chose to shuffle even closer instead. After a comfortable silence had settled between them, Bernie lifted both of their hands onto her lap and started to paint imaginary patterns onto Serena's skin.
"The first time Marcus and I went on proper holidays together, we decided to fly to Greece. I must have caught a stomach bug or something in advance, so I was feeling rather poorly." She smiled and looked at Serena, who nodded as if to say: 'Go on.'
"Right as the plane took off, I had to you know, puke, and I couldn't get up fast enough and everything happened at once and some of it got onto him. He was so disgusted that he switched seats and wouldn't even look at me for the rest of the flight," she said and looked so sad and lost that Serena cursed the man for the millionth time.
She turned and lifted her hand to Bernie's cheek. "Bernie, please look at me," she said. "You can puke all you want, it won't drive me away."
At that, Bernie burst out laughing, tears in her eyes. "Well," Serena stuttered, "that came out wrong. What I meant to say was that I, I..."
Bernie smiled, one of those open and honest smiles that made her heart sink and her head spin. "Yes?"
"I am quite fond of you," Serena breathed.
"Fond, is it?" Bernie smirked.
Serena smiled. "I might love you a little bit as well."
"I might love you a little bit, too," Bernie admitted and kissed Serena.
40.000 feet in the air, without being afraid.
With little old grandmas turning their heads to see what was going on in row 23 and one flight attendant, who looked a lot like Dr. Copeland, giving them the thumbs up.
And the best thing of it all: Right after, a slight crackle could be heard through the tiny speakers above them and the pilot announced: "Dear passengers, we will soon be landing in Berlin."