CH 2

Severus approached Dumbledore's office with hundreds of questions whirring around his head.

"Licorice wand," he spat at the gargoyle, and he climbed up the staircase and burst through the door. OH. MY. GOD.

Dumbledore's office was entirely redecorated. Every surface was covered in glitter, rainbows, peace signs, and flowers. A disco ball was shimmering overhead, and 70's music was blaring from a muggle radio in the corner.

I thought electronic devices didn't work at HogwartsSnape mused, shocked at this new…development. He said as much to Dumbledore, who replied merrily, "Magic!"

Severus mentally smacked himself on the forehead and observed Dumbledore's apparel for the first time. The headmaster was wearing bell-bottomed jeans, a flowing tunic, and-at this Snape gagged-a wretchedly PURPLE flower behind his ear. His beard and hair were braided, and he was humming "Dancing Queen" under his breath.

The potions master exhaled and said to himself Okay, five insane people at Hogwarts. No problem

"You wished to see me, Severus?" Dumbledore asked curiously.

Snape was about to reply when McGonagall flounced in, giggling, "Oh Al, I just LOVED the new robes-" She spotted Severus and squealed, "SEVVIE! So nice to see you! Did you do something with your hair?"

Snape closed his mouth and said to her silently, No, but you sure have.

And she certainly had. Her hair was down in curls and platinum blond. Her makeup was plastered all over her face, and her clothes were so skimpy they made Severus blush. McGonagall batted her eyelashes and simpered, "Oh, Sev, do you want to go to the Three Broomstick's and grab a butterbeer? I'm sure we could-"

"NO-I mean, no thank-you, I have some…potions to brew. Sorry."

McGonagall looked disappointed, but brightened and said, "Oh, well, maybe another time. Anyways, Alby, thank you for the robes. They TOTALLY mach my eyes." She turned to Severus and said, "Toodles!", flouncing back out the way she came.

"Severus? SEV?" Dumbledore snapped his fingers in front of Snape's shocked face. He blinked confusedly.

"Erm…never mind. It was nothing."

"Well then, have a groovy day!" said Dumbledore cheerily. He clapped his hands and a dance floor appeared in the middle of the office. A song started playing at ear-crushing decibles.

OH-OH-OH...

EVERYBODY WAS KUNG FU FIGHTING, THOSE JERKS WERE FAST AS LIGHTNING-

Snape backed up slowly and blurted, "Oh y-yes, I better get going. Got lots of potions to brew."

IN FACT IT WAS A LITTLE BIT FRIGHT'NING, BUT THEY FOUGHT WITH EXPERT TIMING-

"WHAT?" shouted Dumbledore

"I SAID, I-" Snape broke off when he saw Dumbledore start to breakdance.

Something's going to break, and it isn't the dance

Severus practically ran out of Dumbledore's office and down to the dungeons. He sprinted to the doorway and locked his door with the strongest charm he could think of. The potions master sat down behind his desk and stared at the locked door in shock.

How could everyone get nuttier than a Snickers bar at the SAME TIME? And most importantly, who ELSE had gone completely bonkers? Snape shuddered at the thought.

Snape mulled these thoughts in his head until he saw the previously abandonded vodka bottle. He thought about it for a moment, and then said, "Well, a few drinks wouldn't hurt."