AN: Here's another chapter! Hope you like it.

I had no idea what I was doing in the forbidden forest, alone. Guess I was searching for someone. Running like crazy. Heart beating fast. I didn't really know who I was looking for. All I knew was that I felt like someone who was desperately trying to find water in a desert, like someone who was looking for the thing they couldn't imagine their life without. Dodging every obstacle that came in my way, I rushed, following the essence of a familiar scent. It was completely maddening. But I knew that whatever I was searching for, was as important for my survival as breathing itself. I kept running, I don't know for how long when suddenly somewhere in that thick, dark forest, I saw a clearing. The light shone so bright on that spot that every other thing in the surrounding seemed to disappear. There was someone standing there, a girl, with long dark hair, but I couldn't tell who she was. I could only see the back of her head. Curious, I moved towards where she was standing. "Hello?" My voice echoed. Hearing my voice, she was about to turn but I... I woke up.

Woah, that was strange

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Oh, how I love September. Summer break was finally over. Thank God for that! A couple of distractions would work just fine for me. Strange things were happening during summer, anyway. I wasn't really enjoying going all mad like this, to be honest. The craziest of all that happened was that I didn't have a good hook up, for once, all summer. ALL FUCKING SUMMER. How mad is that!? I don't even know the reason. I just couldn't do it. It's all so unlike me. I really need to sort myself out. Hope school would help me do that.

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We had just reached platform 9 3/4, when I saw her, already standing near the train with her friends. I took a deep, shaking breath. Was I ready? I guess. She seemed busy; half listening to what her friends were talking about, half nervously checking if all her books were present in her bag. Typical Rose. I couldn't help but smile. I noticed she didn't have her hair in a braid or all tied up, as usual. Instead they loosely framed her face, reaching down the waist, her auburn locks even more prominent on the neat, dark robes. She looked all cute flipping them over her shoulder, every time she laughed at something.

But no. Wait. I was NOT getting any sort of bizarre, illogical feelings and stuff. Nothing aberrant. I had spent a lot of time convincing my twisted mind that I was not attracted to Rose. And I had succeeded, remember? Okay, maybe it was not a hundred percent success. But I'm not into her. Not at al- Okay, maybe a bit. Oh fuck it! I am. I totally fancy her! I fancy my cousin. My cousin. What am I supposed to do! I feel like kicking myself. And the fact that she has started looking this pretty isn't helping at all. Oh, I think she saw me. And the way she's smiling at me right now.. Damn. Shit! NO I gotta contain myself. I need to stop acting all fucked up. I need to relax. All's good. I guess it'd just take some time. But it's gonna be fine. We're gonna be fine. I know. I didn't trip or babble or felt nervous when we met, she didn't suspect anything strange in my behaviour. It was all good and I couldn't be more glad.

We talked the whole way back to Hogwarts, as always. It felt good to have my best friend back. Seeing her like that, smiling and talking to me in the way she always did, was the best feeling ever. I was surrounded by this certain type of warmth with her being so near. But no matter how hard I tried, it didn't seem like the old times to me. A part of me was afraid of being this close to her even if we were just friends. I didn't wanna lose her. It was getting hard pretending that everything was fine. And she was completely clueless. It kinda frightened me. I didn't want this to get any more difficult. I needed to find a way to get rid of these feelings for good and being this close to her was definitely not going to help. I needed to do something. So I decided I'd try and minimize our interaction at school, as much as possible... Even the thought of doing this was hurting but it'd be for the ultimate good. I needed some time away from her so these temporary feelings could go away. I don't want her to hate me, now, do I? If I would spend time with her where it's just the two of us together, she might actually start to notice my feelings.

"What the hell, James! How can you even think like that, you're absolutely pathetic! I don't wanna look at your face ever again, I hate you!"

Yeah, I definitely don't want that. It would be a complete disaster. She can never know.

Damn this is gonna be the most difficult thing I've ever done.

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It felt amazing to be back at Hogwarts. Everything was perfect. I was already at top in all my classes, except for Potions of course. But it's fine. If not an 'Outstanding' I'll still definitely manage to get an 'Exceeds expectations' in that. Besides I'm really good at others so no worries.

I had been made the Head boy. Oh yeah! How cool is that. Still a prankster, though (low key). A whole fucking tower, all to myself! The sweet perks of being a Head Boy. Woo-hoo. It instantly made me more fanciable even. Not that I was not already popular among girls. But who wouldn't wanna date a Head boy. It gets annoying sometimes. You know, when you're tryna act all senior, authoritative and serious and tryna address the students, obviously on how to behave properly, it doesn't help when you hear some of the girls giggling and uttering stuff like "Damn he is so hot" "I can listen to him talk all day" "Is he dating Lisa" "Why is his hair always so messy"

I almost wanted to shout "No they're not!" "And I don't even know who Lisa is!" Oh wait. I might have snogged her sometime but that doesn't mean I'm dating her. Girls. I had to keep pretending I didn't hear any of that. I hope they'd stop doing that soon, it gets bloody embarrassing.

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Everything seems to be going good, except for one thing, of course. Whenever I wake up, my first thought is always about her. Every. Single. Day. All day when I'm busy and she's not around, I can keep her out of my mind. That, I can do. But if she's in my mind when I'm asleep. ASLEEP! I don't think I can do much about it.

On the scale of 1 to 10 how bloody fucked up do I seem? Probably a 1000.

Arghh! I don't know what's wrong with me. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever have thought that I'd have to stop myself from fancying someone. Someone so beautiful. Someone so- Why did it have to be her. Why couldn't things be easier. I'm even trying to avoid her as much as possible but that's clearly not working. She always ends up finding me somehow. I can't blame her. That's how best friends are supposed to be, now, aren't they? She even sits with me during lunch, as always. And if our hands touch by accident, oh man, she doesn't have the slightest idea what that does to me. And the fact that we both play Quidditch is another major problem. Oh yeah, she's a brilliant Chaser. But lately, I'm not performing that well as a Seeker. She's so good at distracting me! I mean obviously it's not her fault, she doesn't even know. But what can I do if she looks fiercely stunning, practicing and her long fiery hair's waving along. Who's got time focusing on the bloody snitch when you can look at those blue eyes instead. Then, there are these council meetings. She's a Prefect so I have to discuss all the school stuff with her and it's almost impossible not to interact. And while addressing the council members, if by any chance my eyes wander to where she's sitting, I always forget what I was talking about for a moment. And I have to fake cough so I don't look like a complete idiot in front of everyone. I swear, if she were some other girl, having that sort of affect on me, I'd have wasted no time in making her mine forever. But this is Rose! Damn it! Think I'm going crazy!

I hope she doesn't notice me gaping at her like an idiot. Hope I'm not that obvious. Have they invented any spell I can use on myself to make me not fancy her anymore? I guess, not.

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So today, a fresh Sunday morning, I was heading to the grounds, all excited, for Quidditch practice, (A big match with Slytherin was coming up. Our team was in a good form and we couldn't wait to destroy them!) when I suddenly bumped into her on my way. "James!" She beamed. And I almost tripped because she was wearing a SHORT SKIRT! She never wears a skirt! Oh Merlin and I realised I was staring at her legs. Several internal slaps and curses later was I finally able to look away. And before she could start a conversation, I quickly made some lame excuse up and practically ran outside.

Shit! You just made a complete fool out of yourself in front of her. Gettin all nervous and red is a girl's thing! She totally would have noticed! Nice job, Potter!

I had just reached outside, mentally cursing myself, when I heard John Macmillan talking to someone.

"Man! Did you look at Rose Weasley? She's turning up real good," he was saying with a bloody smirk on his face. "I think she's gonna be a nice catch. You know what I mean? And did you look at those tits! Damn. I can bet she looks smashing underneath all those layers of clothe-"

And I completely lost it, blood rushing in my ears. How dare that bloody jerk!

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY, MACMILLAN?" I snapped. Before he could even open his bloody mouth, I punched him. Hard. Twice. "YOU BLOODY GIT!" He was immediately rolling on the ground, his nose bleeding. Some of my friends must have witnessed this because they were dragging me away before I could hit him again and were telling me to calm down. And trust me, if they weren't there nobody would have been able to save his bloody arse.

"AND IF I EVER HEARD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT, I SWEAR I'M GONNA HEX YOU SO BAD YOU WOULD'NT BE ABLE TO OPEN YOUR BLOODY MOUTH EVER AGAIN! REMEMBER THAT!" I shouted, as I saw him get up and run away like a loser.

Next few hours of my day were spent in Headmistress' office, sitting there calmly listening to her. She was furious, by the way.

"Mr. Potter, I know you're protective over your family, and what Mr. Macmillan did was highly inappropriate and disrespectful and he will be punished for that, but the way you reacted is not what is expected from you!"

"You are the Head boy! You have an example to set. Other students look up to you. You must always, always keep that in mind."

"I am very disappointed."

"I hope you will not let me down ever again."

"Absolutely, Professor. I apologise. It will never happen again, I assure you." I said , as I exited her office.

I guess professor's right. I shouldn't have hit him like that. But he asked for it! And I couldn't control myself. I couldn't just ignore it, now, could I? But still.. Guess I shouldn't have reacted that way. I don't know what's got into me. If nobody had been there to stop me, I probably would have killed him. I don't think I've ever been that angry before. Gosh, I don't know what's happened to me. Am I getting obsessed or something!? No, this has to stop. I must understand that Rose and I... There's just no point! Nothing can ever happen!

I seriously need to do something.

And...There's only one choice left..

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Next chapter, James is finally gonna come up with a solution. :D