One Last Love Story.
…Chapter Two… … Secrets Revealed …
The moon still watched. Kaoru lay next to his brother, but he wasn't sleeping. He was waiting. Waiting for the time to come and leave. He just stared at the ceiling, waiting until the moon would collapse and the sun would take over his role. His eyes constantly flew back to the clock, listening to its soft ticking. He wanted the time to stand still and at the same time it had to go faster. Hikaru was still soundly asleep, curled up next to him, his one leg over his waist and his other pressed against his hip and his leg. One hand was holding his, fingers entwined, resting on the place where Kaoru's heart was supposed to be. Kaoru tried not to shudder as he thought about that.
His twin felt so warm and in his sleep he pulled Kaoru closer, as in an unconscious attempt to try to warm up his twin. It was no use, Kaoru knew. It was no use because only humans feel warm. That's why they were humans. He closed his eyes and he hoped that he could forget everything except for his lovely twin. The pain stroke him again, the guilt of what he did. He was the only reason for living. Without really paying attention to it, Kaoru slowly lifted his arm and caressed his twin's cheek. There was nothing more beautiful in the world then his twin, so peacefully asleep. He made Kaoru believe things would really be alright.
His eyes flew back to the clock. It was time to go. Time to leave this perfectly frozen feeling of being alright and time to step back into the harsh reality. Weapons just don't have happy endings. He got on his feet quick and softly, not waking his twin. He didn't want to disturb his peaceful sleep. He didn't want him to beg him not to leave, to ask what was wrong. He didn't want to lie anymore. But he had to. He simply had to.
He took a paper and grabbed a pen. In his curly handwriting he wrote down that he'd go to Kyouya before school and he could leave already. They would meet up there.
He sighed and walked back to the bed where Hikaru was still sleeping. He laid the note next to him, where he was supposed to be sleeping. He leaned forward and softly pressed a kiss on his twin's cheek.
"I'm sorry…" he whispered, knowing he wouldn't hear.
With those words he turned around. Opening the door made no sound and he slipped away just as soundless. He slowly closed the door behind him and made his way to the door outside.
"Leaving already?"
He froze. He almost yelped and jumped back, but instead he just turned around and smiled to his mom, who was looking at him with a certain kind of concern.
"Ah, yes. There was still something I had to do for school, so I'm going already to finish it. Group work, you see," he smiled like there was nothing wrong.
He got used to lying everyday to everyone very quickly. Even though his mom knew that he wasn't human any longer, he didn't want her to know how much it hurt. He didn't want to concern her about things that couldn't be changed anyway. He didn't even feel disgust anymore about how quickly his mother agreed to let her son turn into a weapon.
She smiled and nodded: "okay, I'll tell Hikaru when he wakes up."
He didn't ask why she was still up, or up again, he just nodded and walked outside. The night was cold, he didn't feel it, but he could see it. He could see a lot. He could see through the dark. He could still hear his twin breathing. Something changed. He stopped dead in his tracks.
He was crying. Hikaru was crying. He could hear Hikaru's gasps, as if he was standing next to him. He could hear how he tried to stop the tears from falling. He could almost see his tears fall on the ground.
He slowly turned around, staring at the huge mansion that was theirs. He wanted to run back, to rush up the stairs, smash the door open and beg Hikaru to stop crying. But he couldn't. He couldn't just go back. He bit his lip and walked away. He needed to get away. He trembled and dry tears were taking control.
But he couldn't cry, because humans do… and who ever saw a weapon cry? There is no such thing as a weapon that feels. There is no such thing as a weapon with a heart.
X - - ::……………………………………..…..:: - - X
Hikaru wasn't even surprised when he woke up and his twin wasn't there anymore. He wasn't even surprised when all he found when he rolled over was a note, with his pretty, curly handwriting.
I'm going to Kyouya before school starts. Don't worry; I'll be there on time. Sorry that I messed up your date with Haruhi. And you fell asleep again, before the movie ended. I'll see you at school. I'm really sorry, Hikaru. Hope I didn't wake you!
Love you! Your awesome twin, Kaoru!
His eyes lingered at the last sentence. Love you… It was then that the tears started to fall. It was then that he felt so lonely and backstabbed that he couldn't help but helplessly cry. He didn't like it. No, he hated it.
He hated that his own twin backstabbed him. Nothing, just nothing in the world could be cruel enough to make Kaoru not trust him. He was scared and for the first time in his life Kaoru wasn't there to make it alright. No, even worse. It was him that he was scared of, that was scaring him.
Kaoru thought Hikaru didn't knew, but Hikaru saw every slight change. He heard the door close every single time. He felt the soft kisses he pressed on his cheek every time. He was always there; he was just pretending to be not. And he hated it; he hated how Kaoru tried to conceal it. He hated the way he always said everything was fine, when things were so clearly not. He hated the way he had to worry about him all the time.
Silent gasps filled the air. His hand was on his mouth, but he couldn't stop himself from crying. He had to know. He'd die if he didn't know.
His brother wasn't angry on him because he dated Haruhi right? No. That couldn't be it. This had been going on before that. And besides, his twin wasn't that childish. And it wasn't like he dumped his twin or something. He rather seemed happy that he finally admitted liking her.
Then what? What could it be? He stood up, knowing that he couldn't sleep anymore, anyway. He stepped to the window, watching the silent cold night. He wanted his twin to be there, to stay at his side.
Did he forget? Did Kaoru forget about how inseparable they were? Did he forget that he was Hikaru's life and that nothing could ever change his love for him? Did he forget that no matter what, Hikaru would protect him?
He gritted his teeth.
Did his twin forget about him? His other half? His mirror image? The very own extension of his soul?
His hands clenched into fists.
Why did he have to make everything so difficult? No matter what Kaoru would say, no matter what he'd do… He would never ever hate him. He just couldn't. He would always love him. Forever and ever.
He turned around. He'd find out soon enough. He was sick and tired of waiting. Faster than ever before, he got in his clothes. He rushed from the stairs, jumping off the last ones.
"You're awake, too?" his mother's voice didn't sound in the least surprised.
He didn't even answer. Yes he was awake, that was obvious right? Instead of wasting his time with saying stupid, obvious things, he raced toward the door.
"I love you, too!" he heard his mom calling after him, sarcastically.
In response he smashed the door shut. The night was cold and he shivered. But he didn't have time to waste and go back. He just ran to the place his bike was and jumped on. He raced through the streets, not minding any traffic that might've been there, even on this early hour. His lungs were sore and he breathed heavily, but he kept on racing through the nearly empty streets.
He had to find his brother. He had to make him tell him what was wrong. Kaoru was killing himself, Hikaru knew. Slowly and more painful than any death, Kaoru was killing himself by killing their bond. It was based on trust, a trust no one could imagine.
Their nanny once told them to only trust themselves. Well, they did. Because Hikaru equaled Kaoru and Kaoru equaled Hikaru. Yes, they were different and there were differences, but they were one. Not trusting him was not trusting himself.
He always flew over his bike as he put a stop to his ride to let a car pass. Staring into the dark night, his anger slowly passed away and was replaced by sadness. He remembered all the times he asked and Kaoru just started crying, just started freaking out. He even smashed a vase once, not aimed at him though. And Hikaru felt how he got sick again as he remembered being scared of his twin.
He gasped for air, gave his sore legs some time to recover.
He remembered how after a few times he got so scared of hurting Kaoru that he didn't ask anymore. It was back then that the lying started. The pretending, the dishonesty. It all started after that moment that Kaoru screamed and smashed that vase, when he ran away to the balcony. He stopped back then and his anger was gone.
Tear's welled up again as he thought of that day.
X - - ::……………………………………..…..:: - - X
Kaoru didn't scream anymore. Kaoru didn't yell anymore. He didn't even tremble. He just stared down, stared and stared.
"Hey, Hikaru… you have to promise me something…" he finally said.
Hikaru stood there in the doorway, watching his brothers back. He still trembled and he was scared. It was scary to watch how his usually calmer twin lost it like that. He didn't want to admit it, but he was really scared. He was scared because he didn't understand his own twin.
"What is it, Kaoru?" he brought himself to speak after a while.
"If I become a murderer… you have to kill me."
Hikaru's eyes widened and he was next to his twin in an instant. He grabbed his wrist, pulling him close. His body was shaking and he could barely see through the tears falling from his eyes. He wanted to scream, to hit his brother just to make him stop talking. Just stop talking.
Something like that would never happen! His twin wouldn't… he wouldn't…. Every breath he took hurt and his fear grew every second.
"What are you talking about?" his voice was surprisingly calm.
Kaoru didn't even wince. He just stared back. He didn't cry and didn't tremble. He was so calm it only made Hikaru more afraid. He felt cold, so cold. Hikaru's warm fingers were just as cold now, just from holding his wrist in his hand.
"If I become a monster, you have to stop me, okay? You have to kill me if I ever become a… weapon…" Kaoru looked away, "If I ever become someone who only brings death, you have to save everyone and you have to kill me. You have to, Hikaru!"
He released himself from Hikaru's grip and staggered a few steps backward, until his back was facing a wall.
"You have to kill me then! Because, because you have to save everyone then!" his eyes were filled with an emotion Hikaru just couldn't express.
It only scared him. It only made him so afraid he thought he'd die any moment now. He shook his head and clenched his fists.
"I'll never kill you." he said firmly. "And I want you to never ever talk about that again."
"But…"
He looked up.
"JUST SHUT UP!"
"Promise me…"
"No! No!"
"If you love me, you'll promise me. If you care about me, then, then… you'd say yes…"
And then there was silence. Completely silence. Hikaru grabbed his twin's arm and pulled him close. How could he choose between such things? He shivered and embraced his still calm twin.
"Okay… If it ever comes to that… I'll…I'll save you."
But he never thought such a day would come. From that day on, he swore to protect his twin from all the pain in the world. And mostly from himself.
X - - ::……………………………………..…..:: - - X
Hikaru just never thought there would be a day where he felt that that one moment was so important. Everything seemed to freeze. Everything seemed to die. He was going insane. He started racing through the streets. He needed to make Kaoru tell him. He needed to know or he'd do something… something… he didn't know what, but it wouldn't be good.
He smashed his bike on the ground when he reached the large mansion that was Kyouya's. He looked around and then suddenly felt like the biggest idiot in the world. There was no way he would sneak in.
Then the direct way.
He walked straight to the door and knocked. There was no answer and he froze. Suddenly, this whole idea seemed so stupid, so worthless. He could ask him this evening too. He could wait. He could watch a little longer. He wanted to turn around and leave, but he heard the door open. He stared into the blue eyes of a maid as she politely asked: "Can I help you?"
"Yeah… Uh… I…" he took a deep breath. "Can I come in? I'm a friend of Kyouya."
"But of course! Please come in," she opened the door and Hikaru walked inside.
He quickly looked around.
"Uhm… Could I talk to Kyouya for a moment?" he asked the maid.
She nodded and Hikaru decided to follow her. She knocked on a door.
"Hm?" Kyouya's voice sounded. "What is it?"
"There's someone for you…" she looked at him.
"Hikaru Hitachiin," he smiled back.
"Hikaru Hitachiin would like to talk to you for a second."
And then there was that yelp - that scream in pure and simple horror. Hikaru froze again and felt tears flash in his eyes. He clenched his fists. That was his twin. Without doubt, that was Kaoru's voice. Hikaru just stared at the door, not even able to shout something back. It hurt; it hurt how scared his twin had sounded.
The maid was taken aback as well, staring at the wooden door.
"Oh… Okay…" that was Kyouya's voice again.
A moment later he opened the door and smiled to Hikaru.
"Come in." he said and Hikaru did.
Kaoru sat on the bed, his eyes staring down at the ground. He hugged a blue pillow, holding on like it was the only thing connecting him to this planet. He didn't even look at Hikaru when he came inside and closed the door behind him. He didn't even try to apologize for his scream. Hikaru felt like his twin wanted him gone, and preferably fast. He swallowed, not able to pierce through the wall his twin built up. He couldn't even say something like 'hi'. He never encountered such a wall, such a silent plea to just turn around and be gone.
Sometimes it was better to not understand people. Sometimes it was better that you didn't get what they meant without a single word. It would've saved Hikaru from a lot of pain now.
"So, why are you here?" Kyouya finally asked, trying to break the tension between the twins.
"I…" Hikaru swallowed. "I wanna know what's wrong with Kaoru."
There, he said it. He couldn't care less that Kyouya just gave him a weird look and Kaoru's grip on the pillow even tightened.
"There is nothing wrong with Kaoru," Kyouya just answered.
"Hikaru… Please…" Kaoru begged and his nails sunk into the pillow. "Please…"
Please what? Please go away? Please just leave me alone? Please just mind your own business? Please leave your own twin to drawn in his misery? 'Please' wasn't heard.
"No! Don't 'please' me! God, don't I have the right to know?!" Hikaru screamed.
"Hikaru, please lower your voice a little, okay?" Kyouya said as he watched how Kaoru tried to hide himself completely in the pillow, his slender shoulders shaking.
"… What do you have to do with this? What did you do to my twin?" his voiced sounded more insulting that he though it would.
They both froze, Kaoru a lot more noticeable then Kyouya, but the room fell into a complete silence. Hikaru looked from Kaoru to Kyouya, not knowing what he said wrong.
"We should go to school!" Kaoru suddenly said as he jumped up.
Hikaru wanted to protest but as he saw his twin's state, even when he tried to hide it so badly, he just nodded. He didn't want to hurt Kaoru ever more then he already was. He didn't know when it happened and he didn't know why he wasn't there to stop it, but one day he just saw a broken boy standing in his room. And he couldn't fix him anymore. He was pushing him away, almost kicking him out. So all he could do was stand there, watching outside, desperately waiting until his twin let him back in.
Kaoru smiled and he forced his happiness so much that even Kyouya noticed. He nodded.
"Let's go then," Kaoru said, grabbing Hikaru's hand and pushing Kyouya out the door.
Kyouya just smiled lightly and walked outside, hearing how Kaoru shut the door behind him. He could feel how frustrated Hikaru was and how he faked the way he seemed to forget. But he couldn't know. He wouldn't be happier if he did, anyway. It would only make it worse.
Kaoru knew that too. Kaoru knew that having a bad, selfish twin who kicked you away and spent too much time with someone else was better then not having a twin at all. They couldn't change the fact that they were twins, but Kaoru could try to get faced with that as less as possible.
He could try to protect his twin, even if he'd never succeed. He could try to keep this war hidden as far as possible. He could try to act like nothing changed, even when things obviously did.
Kaoru pushed his brother in the car, talking to Kyouya, but Hikaru wasn't listening. He just stared outside the window, ignoring every living being on the little planet. He hated the way he couldn't say a word anymore when he watched Kaoru's eyes full of tears. He hated that he still didn't know.
And even more he hated the way Kyouya did.
Why him? Why? He had nothing to do with them. Nothing at all. He didn't even know them. He didn't even know Kaoru. He couldn't even tell them apart. He was just selfish and scary and irritating and… Hikaru sighed as he heard his twin's happy voice telling a random story that once happened. Kyouya probably didn't even care. But Hikaru did. And still the story was told to Kyouya and not to him.
The world was a cruel place. Cruel for pushing him away and replacing him with someone like that. He was sure he wouldn't have mind as much as he did now if it was someone like tono, or even Honey or Mori… but Kyouya? Kaoru didn't even like him, he always said. He didn't like the way he only thought about himself and he was always looking for a way to make his position better. He didn't like him at all.
So why, why was he the one Kaoru shared his secret with? Why? Why did he have to do this? Why did things have to go this way?
He never did something so wrong that he deserved that. Because, really, no matter what secret his twin was hiding, if it was okay that Kyouya knew… then… he could know as well, right?
Right. Certainly right.
"Hi-ka-ru!" Kaoru flung his arms around his twin's shoulders. "We're here!"
He leaned over to push open the door and pushed Hikaru out. Hikaru faked a laugh and got out, pulling Kaoru with his. Kyouya just got out, just normal. Kaoru let go of Hikaru and jumped back to Kyouya.
"Thank you for helping me with school," he said.
Kyouya just nodded and gave him a polite smile, while Hikaru just felt disgust. Kaoru didn't need to keep the lie up. He knew, of course Hikaru knew. He wasn't there for school at all. Kaoru laughed, walking next to Kyouya and again he was telling something that Hikaru never really listened to. It wasn't really told to him anyway. Hikaru just searched for Haruhi, actually hoping he could go talk to her so he didn't have to watch his twin getting all friendly with that hypocrite of a Kyouya.
Kaoru's arm brushed against Kyouya's and Hikaru had to keep himself from forcefully jumping between. He looked down and suddenly noticed how Kyouya discreetly took something out of his pocket and slid it between Kaoru's fingers. He hid it in his pocket almost as his soon as he got it and Hikaru had only one second that he could catch a glimpse of white pills in the bottle.
Hikaru abruptly stood still. Pills? Was Kaoru sick? Was that what he was hiding all this time? Maybe he couldn't be cured anymore… maybe… It would make sense. That was why Kyouya knew and he didn't. He felt iron claws of fear clench around his chest, cutting of his breath, stopping his movements.
Was Kaoru going to die?
Only the thought of that happening made him want to scream and run away. No, no! That couldn't possibly happen. There was no world without Kaoru. No place on earth would be the same, nothing would ever be the same without him. He couldn't even imagine what the world would be like… without Kaoru… No… No!
It couldn't be. It was just impossible. Kaoru was untouchable. Kaoru was some kind of immortal being. He couldn't die. He just couldn't. It was impossible. Kaoru was his life, everything… and that just couldn't die.
"Hikaru?"
He snapped back to reality.
"Ah, finally!" he said when he saw Haruhi standing next to him, trying to sound as normal as he could.
He looked up to find Kaoru, but he was nowhere to be seen. The thought of him dying shot through him again and he shivered. He didn't want to think about it ever again. There was no way he could loose his twin. But he was afraid, now he thought of it, now even the slightest possibility of that happening slid in their lives. He was so afraid he thought he'd just fade, just die where he stood, but surprisingly he could still talk, still give her a smile.
"Where's Kaoru?" He asked, not really expecting her to know.
"He just walked away with Kyouya-senpai. He told you," she laughed, but to her it didn't sound as honest as it did before.
"He did?" Hikaru gave her an uneasy laugh, "must've missed that…"
She was silent for a while. Unwillingly she thought back to yesterday and she could hear Kaoru's words again. She could feel the fear again, that fear that wasn't supposed to be there. Hikaru must've felt it too and he was probably suffering a thousand times more under it than she did. If she was already so scared… then what was he supposed to be?
Why couldn't Kaoru just tell them? Everything would be so much easier if he just told them.
"Are you okay?" she asked finally.
Hikaru looked at her and gave her a fake smile. No, things weren't okay. He wasn't okay. He couldn't be okay when his twin was like this.
"Hey, Haruhi… If… If Kaoru was ill, he would tell me right? Even if… even if he couldn't be cured anymore, right?" Hikaru looked away and he started walking to class, just to do something.
"Hm? Is he ill?" she asked as she followed.
"I don't know… but…" he sighed, "but that's the only thing I can imagine worse enough to hide it from me. I mean… he's really kind you know… and he probably thinks this is better then telling me he'll…" he just couldn't say it, didn't want to think about it.
"Let's not think the worst, right?" Haruhi said as she thought back of his words.
She wished Hikaru didn't say that, because she started to believe it now. It would explain his words, his sudden sadness. It would explain why he hang around with Kyouya so much too.
Hikaru entered class and found Kaoru staring out of the window. A girl was standing near him and he thought she tried to talk to him, but it didn't seem to work. He just stared absently out of the window, just stared. Hikaru suppressed a shiver as he saw how sad his twin looked. Sad, frightened… like he could break any moment.
How did he ever let things come this far? If Kaoru would only tell…
The girl spotted him and immediately he recognized her as Satsuki. She walked up to him, a concerned look in her eyes.
"Hm… Hikaru?" she guessed.
"Uhu?" he answered.
"Kaoru has been…" she looked away. "…Acting weird."
"What do you mean?" Hikaru looked at his twin, still staring into the sky.
"He's… talking in himself… for a long time now" she said uneasy and whispered, "could you talk to him? I'm… really worried."
Hikaru gave her a weird look and without a further word he stepped to his twin. Kaoru's back faced the class and he sat there, his eyes hidden under his hair. His chin leaned on one palm and his other hand was restlessly ticking on the desk. With ever inch Hikaru came closer, he could feel that wall again, that barrier that Kaoru built one day. It happened so sudden Hikaru couldn't keep it from happening. One day his twin just didn't let him in on his thoughts anymore. Just like that.
"Kaoru?" he started carefully, sitting half on his desk.
- Scouting Area for Target-
"What did you say?" Hikaru shivered.
Kaoru's lips moved in a fluent movement, but it wasn't his voice rolling from those red lips. Hikaru suppressed the panic that made his way to take over his mind as he saw how lifeless his twin's eyes were as he stroke his hair away.
"Kaoru? Kaoru?"
- Code 0-4-8. Scouting Area for Target. Battle Mode on Stand-By-
"Stop that!" Hikaru almost screamed and he could feel everyone turning to look at them. "Kaoru!"
His twin didn't even react. He just stared and stared outside. Even when Hikaru grabbed his shoulder, he didn't even wince. He seemed like he wasn't there anymore, like he was gone, just gone. Like Kaoru died and someone else had taken his place.
The teacher must've walked in earlier, because Hikaru could feel a hand on his shoulder.
"Everything alright, here?" he asked.
"Ah, Y-Yeah... sure..." Hikaru lied.
What could he say? That his brother was acting weird that he had no idea what was wrong? What could he possibly say? There weren't any words that could voice his fear. So he just faked another smile and sat down next to his twin. The whole lesson his eyes were only focused on his mirror image, who didn't move an inch. Not a single inch. He just stared and stared and when the teacher asked something he answered in that voice that wasn't his.
And there was nothing Hikaru could do to stop it. Nothing. He could only watch and he felt so disgust by that, that his attention for the lesson was gone as well.
"… Really good, Satsuki. You read very well. Who wants to read ne-"
Kaoru stood up in such a quick movement his chair fell. Hikaru looked up and saw the bewildered look in his twin's eyes. For a second he was Kaoru again, Hikaru swore, and then it changed back.
"Ah, is there something wrong…?" The teacher asked confused.
-Target Detected. Must Inform Kyouya Ootori-
His eyes flew over the classroom.
-Everyone Please Evacuate Immediately-
Without a further word he turned on his heels and rushed out of the classroom. Everyone was silent. No one said a word. No one laughed, because no one saw anything funny about the situation.
"What does he… mean?" someone asked.
Hikaru didn't answer. He just shot up from his place.
"Kaoru! Kaoru!" he shouted and ran after his twin.
What happened? What part did he miss? Where did he go wrong? He didn't get anything of what just happened. He only got that somehow his twin started running and he was running after him.
Why couldn't he just tell him? He stood still and looked around.
Kaoru was nowhere to be seen. The only thing Hikaru saw was how a blonde boy stood in the hall and lifted his hand, smashing the glass of the fire alarm. Immediately the sound filled the whole school. But the smoke was nowhere.
X - - ::……………………………………..…..:: - - X
The door of Class 2-A smashed open. Tamaki and Kyouya looked up, neither of them surprised when they saw Kaoru standing in the doorway.
"They're here" was all he needed to say.
Tamaki nodded and stood up, announcing that everyone had to evacuate as soon as possible. Kyouya already stood up, grabbing Kaoru's wrists and running as fast as possible out of the hall.
"I didn't expect them to be here so soon…" he said, running over the grass, until they were on a safe distance from the school.
"I hoped they wouldn't…" Kaoru smiled, but shrugged. "I don't want this world to fight anymore…"
Kyouya didn't know a good answer to that.
"You have permission to launch" he said.
-Identified Kyouya Ootori. Switching Battle Mode On. Launch At 10 Seconds And Counting-
Kaoru smiled to him.
- Ten-
Kyouya took a few quick steps backward.
-Nine-
A smile.
-Eight-
The wings spread to their full glory and Kyouya took another step backward.
-Seven-
Still a smile.
-Six-
The grass under his feet shook.
-Five-
The smile didn't leave.
-Four-
"Kaoru! Kaoru, where are you!" the voice was still far, too far to be there within the next three second. But still Kaoru's eyes widened.
-Three-
"Kaoru!"
-Two-
"Kaoru!" footsteps raced towards him.
-One-
The smile left his face, to be replaced by a sorrowful look.
-Ready for Launch-
And with that the boy's feet came loose from the earth, black wings flapped and he rose into the sky. Kyouya braced himself, trying not to fall from the sudden shock and power. His eyes followed the boy, until he was too far out of sight to be seen.
He hoped that Kaoru would save them, before this world had reached a point beyond saving. He hoped that the sacrifice Kaoru made wasn't for nothing. He hoped that he could save not only Japan but simply everyone.
"Where is he!" someone grabbed his arm and pulled him a half turn back.
Before even looking into those eyes, he already knew who it was. The one that was so identical to the one who sacrificed everything. So identical and still so very easily told apart. Because Hikaru was still human, which couldn't be said about his younger twin. Hikaru still had some warmth and a life… which couldn't be said about his younger twin.
"How should I know?" he answered uninterested.
"Stop that! I know you know where he is! I know and it makes me sick! So just tell me already!" Hikaru's eyes were full of anger.
"You won't believe me, even if I'd say, so you're better of not knowing at all," Kyouya simply stated.
Hikaru pushed him away, throwing him on the ground.
"Then I'll find him myself! I know there is no fire! I know this is all just so Kaoru could leave! I'm…" he clenched his fists. "I'm not stupid."
Kyouya got up again, and looked at the grass. Sometimes he didn't get why he was able to confuse Kaoru and Hikaru with each other all the time. They weren't like each other at all.
"You are…" he whispered.
But Hikaru already turned around and ran away from the school, screaming his brother's name.
He surely was stupid to not notice that he was only making things worse. No one could save Kaoru anymore. No one could love Kaoru anymore. There was no such thing as a weapon that loves or that was loved. Love only made things worse. For everyone.
X - - ::……………………………………..…..:: - - X
Kaoru flew through the air, his eyes searching the ground for the target. Finally they came here too. The soldiers came here to disturb the piece here, too. And soon, so soon Hikaru would know about war and he'd watch his friends die and his hands would be stained in blood. Kaoru couldn't save him. He couldn't save anyone. Boy after boy after boy died, even when he was supposed to save them all. He watched how their guts were blown away, how they crawled over the bloodstained ground. He watched them die. And after that he lost control and killed everyone in the city. On his side or not, where he went, everyone who saw him would die.
No one who saw him could live, that's why his twin couldn't see him. That's why he couldn't know. Because then he'd be caught in this fate as well and Kaoru would take him down with him. They were connected, more then he wanted right now and he had to break down that connection as fast as possible.
When Hikaru started dating Haruhi he thought he succeeded. He thought that the connection, that bond, that closeness, he thought it would fade. Slowly fade and go away. And then, even if his twin found out, he would just hate him and turn to Haruhi. Then he didn't need to get hurt because of him anymore.
It was okay if Hikaru hated him, detested him. It was okay if Hikaru was disgust of him, wanted him to drop dead. It was okay if he forgot him, if he didn't want to think about him anymore. That all was okay if it could save him. If hating him could save Hikaru, then without doubt, he'd beg to be hated.
He was made to kill. Only to kill and to destroy. He wasn't meant to save. He was the ultimate weapon. Weapons are made to take people's life. And no matter how many times Kyouya'd repeat that he was doing the right thing, he never did. He was wrong and disgusting. And he didn't want his brother to know.
He was ashamed and disgust with himself. He wanted to die, wanted to be killed and shot down, but he knew he never could. Because he was the ultimate weapon and he couldn't be taken down by anyone or anything.
-Targets Detected. Preparing For Attack-
With an elegant turn he flew down, the earth shivering, waiting until he hit the ground. He could hear the screams, the heartbeats racing in a fast rhythm. He could smell the fear, could look in their scared eyes. But it didn't matter. A weapon is made to kill. And so it would. Kaoru could only kill. Only kill, even when he didn't want to.
His feet touched the ground.
Stop me… Please stop me…
Bullets were flying around him and he could feel the panic welling up again. He didn't want this. He didn't want to fight anymore. But he had to, he simply had to.
Stop me… Stop me…
He lifted up his hand, building a simple magnetic field around him. The bullets were useless. Nothing could hurt him. Nothing could.
And that fact alone was enough to make him die inside.
He probably already did. A weapon doesn't live. A weapon is just dead, cold metal. He didn't even have a heart anymore. He only had a song. A song that reminded him of how it used to be. A song that reminded him of love. A song was the only thing left that made him human. It was the only string that still connected him and his brother.
Even when his twin was human and he wasn't, even when his twin was wonderful and he wasn't, even when his twin could save people and he couldn't… they still liked the same songs. Somehow, that was more then Kaoru thought he deserved.
But still he was thankful that his twin didn't think about him that way.
Hikaru… Please stop me someday… You have to…
People died. Blood spilled. The city was filled with smoke. People screamed and tried to get away. Useless. They died anyway. Everyone died. No one was kept alive.
He flew into the air, his wings stained with blood. There were planes, and he needed to get rid of them too. Not so long after the air was filled with explosions. Kaoru screamed as he got hit in his side. He wasn't supposed to feel pain, but when he looked down and he saw half his stomach blown away, he still screamed. Just because he was scared. There wasn't any blood; there were only the little electric sparks the cables and chips inside gave. And then there was another explosion and yet again people died.
It was amazing how many people they were in the world. Even though their world always existed of 'us' and 'them', he never expected 'them' to be with so much. This world was too big and yet too small. People kept coming, falling down. People kept dying. Everyone died.
And Kaoru was alone and he killed.
Why couldn't he be saved? Why couldn't he stop this? Why couldn't he bring peace?
He stopped his song, and his desperate scream resounded over the broken city.
Please stop me!
But there was no one left to stop him. There was no one left to listen. There was no one, no one left at all. Kaoru stand back on the ground. Tears streamed over his face and he was surprised he could still cry. It wasn't likely that a weapon could cry. But still he did. He didn't want this. He never knew that taking people's lives would hurt this much. He never knew that the feeling never ended. He never knew that the pain always stayed, kept coming back. He never knew that watching the world die would be so slowly.
He knew his tears weren't going to save him. He knew his tears couldn't change faith. He knew that next time he'd just kill again. He knew, but he couldn't care. He just cried, just screamed, hoping that there was anyone left. He wished he never agreed. Not even for his twin. Because he only knew now that he only hurt Hikaru more. If Hikaru found, he'd simply die…
If Hikaru knew… If Hikaru knew… Kaoru didn't want to think about it, didn't want to think of how his own little world would crash down and crumble. Even when he was a weapon and he was killing, his own world was still left untouched. His own world was still intact. He didn't mess that up yet. He didn't destroy that yet.
He stared over the city, searching for someone to kill, for someone to just vent it off. One more human life wouldn't matter. One more human life wouldn't make any difference. No one could make a difference. No one could save. There was no such as a hero, no such thing as a happy ending. There were only lies. There was only dead waiting ahead of humans.
He slowly got up. The earth didn't make a sound. He didn't make a sound either. There was no such thing as hope, no such thing as love… Love only made it worse.
He never wanted to hurt Hikaru… he only wanted him to be safe, but every time he killed, he could just hear his twin in the back of his head, shouting at him because he was stupid. Because he needed to do what he wanted, not what other people told him to do. He could hear how he told him to stop this, to not kill those innocent people along with the 'bad guys'. And there was yet another problem.
Everyone was fighting to protect. Everyone was fighting for what they thought was right. What kind of judge was he to decide what was wrong and what not?
Who was he to take humans lives and crash them so easily?
He hadn't the right. He hadn't the right to do this. But he couldn't stop.
-Kaoru Hitachiin Is Returning To Base. I Repeat: …-
He stopped when he heard a heartbeat racing. Was someone still alive?
And then it hit him.
He knew that heartbeat. He knew that sound. He knew it… because it sounded so much like his own. He slowly turned around.
I'm so sorry, Hikaru… I'm just not strong enough to stop this… I'm not… strong enough alone…
X - - ::……………………………………..…..:: - - X
Hikaru turned around and didn't even hear what Kyouya said after him. It didn't even matter. His eye fell on a bike, standing loose, and yes, stealing was wrong, but he couldn't run the whole way, right? Right. Finding his twin was so needed that stealing wasn't wrong. And he'd give it back, once he found his twin. He grabbed the bike and raced off. Screaming his twin name over and over again, leaving the panicking school behind him, he raced through busy streets.
The earth shivered. The earth shuddered. The earth cried in pain.
The explosion reached his ears. Fear froze him for a moment and he turned around and saw, saw in the distance, how a red cloud, framed by a grey wall of smoke. He must've gone insane from fear about his twin, because he could swear, simply put his life on, that he saw wings, black wings through that red blur. People screamed and ran away in fear and he just stood there, the only person that was frozen by the fear, staring at the black wings in the explosion.
Something told him he was there. He and his twin were connected. Somehow, they always, always knew where the other was. Hikaru's eyes widened. He never hoped he was wrong this badly before. The wings disappeared and almost like that was a sign, Hikaru snapped back to reality.
What was going on? What was happening to this earth?
Everyone screamed. Everyone ran. And Hikaru went just in the opposite direction. He must be stupid, must he be wrong, but instead of running he was seeking the disaster. Like he was hypnotized by the red blurs in the sky, the way the earth warned everyone not to come any closer, he came closer and closer to the place where Japan ended and the world died. He couldn't breathe anymore, couldn't think. His legs were moving on his own. People still screamed. The world was ending, dying. He could smell the panic, hear the children cry.
War. This must be what people call war. Was that what they were talking about on the news? Hikaru couldn't comprehend it. Couldn't fully understand.
Kaoru hated war. He could understand that. What he couldn't understand was how Kaoru knew what it was, when he didn't. Kaoru flinched and smashed things at the TV when they talked about war. Hikaru just laughed, because Kaoru could always make it so that he wasn't scared. When Kaoru was there, Hikaru could take on this world.
But now he was alone. And he was approaching disaster. He was making his way to a dead city. His eyes widened as he faced the buildings, broken down, killed. He dropped his bike. There weren't any screams. Not even the muffled ones, the scared ones he saw on TV. There were no people running for their lives. There were only the dead bodies, ripped apart, heads severed. And the smell.
Hikaru never smelled something as awful before. His stomach turned. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. And there was no way his brother would be here. This wasn't a place where Kaoru belonged. No, his innocent, lovely twin could never be here. He would make sure he'd never saw this, or smelled this. His stomach turned even more, tumbled upside down, when he saw the maimed bodies. He couldn't take this. This was so very different from the movies.
He turned around and threw up, his hand finding support on a broken wall. The smell only made it worse. How could something like ever happen? He couldn't really believe it. He stood back up, drained and shaking. He saw a burned doll and shivered. Why was this happening?
The thought rising in his mind, the thought that maybe he could still save someone, made him feel some kind of weird hope. He had to stop this somehow. The city was so quiet, the earth didn't even cry anymore.
But there was a voice, one voice, softly singing.
- "Closer to your skin, you gotta keep me deep within
'Cause where I am right now I couldn't be tomorrow
Close enough to see, Close enough to hear you breathe
Close enough to feel the warmth of you, 'cause I am so cold, yeah" -
Hikaru slowly turned around. He wasn't sure he wanted to confirm what his head was so coldly telling him. He didn't want to recognize that voice, didn't want to recognize that person. His heart raced, so fast that he wished it stopped beating. He never felt so alone and so scared. So absolutely, deathly afraid.
The world was cruel. Reality was always waiting for an opportunity to break someone. The world was just waiting to crash down. Happiness was such a fragile thing, not made to last for ever. Nothing last forever.
There were no screams. There were no tears, expect for the ones that were already on his cheeks. Hikaru just died. Just died where he stood. He just went completely numb as he stared, just stared at his twin.
And Kaoru just stared back, half his side gone.
There was no blood, not of him anyway. Hikaru knew. Hikaru knew and it was disgusting. Kaoru's clothes were ripped, and there was a huge hole in his side. Hikaru's legs failed him and he collapsed on the ground, as he watched the cables and chips that are there. He was supposed to see blood, intestines, something but not… not… that mechanic stuff.
He wanted to say something. Something to break this silence. Something to stop this. Something, somehow, something. But the words didn't come. The tears didn't come. There was nothing he could say. He couldn't even understand.
This was the secret his twin had been hiding. This was the cruel truth he never told him of. This was what Hikaru so desperately wanted to know, but now he did it certainly didn't make him feel any better. Maybe Kaoru was right about not telling him. Maybe Kaoru was indeed saving him from a lot of pain by trying to not let him know. Maybe there was no need for him to know. Maybe, just maybe… But it couldn't be helped anymore. He saw.
He just stared and continued staring, but he refused to see.
He refused to see the black wings, sprouting out of his twin's back. He refused to see the cables and blood. He refused to see his twin in such a state. He refused to see his tears.
When did it come to this? When did he allow his twin to cry without being able to stop him? Why did this happen? Why couldn't he turn back time? Why couldn't he make this alright again? Why couldn't he even talk, say something, something at all?
He opened his mouth, but only a soft cry was the sound that left. Those who died, don't speak. Those, whose hearts froze, can't talk anymore. So Hikaru just sat there, staring at his twin, trying to do something, trying so hard to live on. It was Kaoru who finally, finally broke the silence.
"You can go home without me. I'll be going to Kyouya first," was all he said.
No sorry, no hurt voice, no, nothing. There was no dramatic goodbye, because Hikaru couldn't even react. Just those words he said so many times before. Just those words that killed Hikaru even more. No desperate screams pierced through the air. No cries, no sobs.
Just silence as he watched him leave. His twin's feet get loose from the ground and he flew away.
He flew away and left Hikaru behind. And he had no idea how to breathe, how to live, how to move on without his twin. Smoke filled his lungs and he felt nauseous. He tried to get up, his body trembling uncontrollably. He wanted his twin to support him, to lean on those familiar shoulders, while walking home. But he wasn't there, just like he never was there for him.
He left him alone. More then anything, Hikaru felt terrible for letting this happen to his twin. He didn't save him. He didn't save him from any pain. He staggered, dragging his numb body further and further. He just let his twin become this… thing… He couldn't even name it. He couldn't even understand, let alone fully realize. He just dragged himself through empty streets, without seeing where he went, just seeing the image of his twin, so different, different from before.
Why hadn't he seen this coming? Why was he so completely dumbfounded and hurt? Why hadn't he been able to do something, to prevent this from happening? Kaoru must be dying, must be so lonely… And he never was there. He didn't even understand what happened to him, couldn't even come close to understand his pain… but even so, there must've been something he could've done. There must've been a way to save his twin.
Why was the world so cruel? Why was he so far away from his twin? He didn't want to be different, didn't want to be… Separated. Different. Apart.
And then, finally, the tears came and he collapsed again. Kaoru couldn't see how hurt it was so for once… for once it was okay to be weak… For once he didn't have to be strong, because Kaoru wasn't there. They never cried because Hikaru always tried to be strong for Kaoru and Kaoru never wanted Hikaru to see how hurt he was. They never were hurt, because there was always that one person that made everything alright. It was their magic, their own indestructible shield against all pain. But it came crashing down, shattered. Their foundation cracked, wasn't strong enough to carry the weight of their world.
Kaoru wasn't there anymore. He was gone. Gone with the wind. He flew away.
Leaving Hikaru all alone.
X - - ::……………………………………..…..:: - - X
Kyouya stood in the freezing air, waiting for the boy to return. Even though he was slightly worried when the communication line broke so abrupt, he never showed any sign of that emotion. He just stood there and waited. He shivered through the cold, but his eyes kept on staring into the empty sky.
So they finally reached his town. He thought about how he was going to keep the promise he made with Kaoru.
'Whatever happens, keep Hikaru safe. I will do this if you promise me that Hikaru will never get hurt. If you promise me to keep him safe, I'll agree.'
Kaoru was quite a hypocrite, he thought back then. He knew those devilish twins for some time back then, enough to know that if something like this would happen to Kaoru, Hikaru would be hurt. Just because he and his twin were different. It wasn't hard to figure something as that out, but since Kaoru seemed to believe that somehow things would be okay and Kyouya got what he wanted, he didn't think about it further. It was enough if his orders were followed, right?
He sighed. When he saw a dark silhouette, he knew Kaoru was coming back. Even from the distance, he could see something was wrong. He had to come to know Kaoru pretty good as well, even when he'd never reach that part where words weren't needed anymore. Kaoru landed, soon his clothes dripping from the water. Kyouya walked up to him, wanting to say what he always said, but even before he opened his mouth, he felt a wet body pressing against his, cold arms wrapping around his shoulders.
"He saw me! Hikaru saw me!" the boy cried helplessly.
Kyouya didn't react at all. He needed to say something, needed to do something. Kaoru couldn't loose control like this. He wasn't allowed to do that. Because he was their only hope, and if he was this helpless, who were those soldiers supposed to believe in. He grabbed his shoulders, pulling him away, whispering: "get a grip of yourself. Switch it off."
-Identified Kyouya Ootori. Switching Battle Mode Off-
Kaoru just looked up, tears streaming down, looking at him with that hurtful look. He nodded and whipped away his tears. Then he straightened his shoulders and looked as stoic and serious he could. Kyouya just turned around and took the other boy's hand, leading him through the base to his 'office'. Kaoru trembled, and Kyouya could feel how he did his best to not burst into tears again.
What to do, what to say? Kyouya needed to do something, to say something, to find a solution, needed something… something… but he couldn't find it. Kaoru's world crashed down and no matter what kind of smart remark he'd say, it wouldn't heal. He couldn't possibly ask this boy to pretend like nothing happened, to just keep on doing what he was doing. He did more inhuman things before but… there were borders. There was a certain line even he didn't cross. Didn't want to cross. Not with this boy. Not with this life.
The door gently closed and he pushed Kaoru on a chair. With a lack of good words, he started to search for something to repair him.
"Kyouya," for the first time, Kyouya didn't hear any sign of emotion in his voice. "I won't kill Hikaru. I'll kill everyone you tell me to, you point and I'll kill, but I'll never kill Hikaru. If you ask me to do that, I'll kill myself and you'll have to search yourself a new weapon."
Kyouya almost dropped what he was holding.
"Are you threatening me?" he asked, just as coldly.
The air built up with some kind of tension, a cold thickness slowly spreading. Kyouya didn't even turn around to look at the boy. He never heard Kaoru speaking like that. For once, the usual happiness and humanity was gone. He was using his position now to get what he wanted. Kyouya smirked a little. Kaoru sounded a lot like him. And even though he really didn't want Kaoru to turn out like him, somehow he found that amusing.
"No," came the simple answer. "I'm telling you the truth."
"I see," Kyouya turned around. "I won't ask you to kill Hikaru. Don't worry about that. There is no need for you to do that anyway. We try to save as ma-"
"No, we don't. I don't" Kaoru interrupted. "Why did you design me?"
Kyouya felt a cold shiver creeping up and everything inside him froze. He looked in his eyes and there were no tears anymore. Not a single sign of emotion. Nothing. Just emptiness. Just a broken boy. Just… a weapon.
"To kill, I assume. Even though that wouldn't be the precise answer," he answered matter-of-factly.
"Then that's what I'll do. I won't save anyone. I can't save anyone. I'll just kill. Because that's what you made me, that's who I am," he slowly got up.
"That's not entirely true either," Kyouya answered. "You're Kaoru."
"No. Kaoru equals Hikaru… And I definitely don't equal Hikaru," and then a tear welled up, "I destroyed everything, Kyouya…"
"That's not true. Don't…" he couldn't end his sentence.
A sad smile came upon his face.
"I'm sorry… It's… It's wrong to just take it out on you. You were only doing what you were told to. It's not your fault. You've done nothing wrong" he laughed an empty laugh, "I'm so selfish. I only think about myself. Only think about how sad this is for me. But what about you then? This is… sad for you too, right?"
"I'm okay. I'm only doing what needs to be done," he said. "And so are you."
"You know…" he looked down. "I really don't want to hurt him."
"I know," he answered.
"But no matter what I do…" tears left darker spots on his ripped pants.
"Kaoru…" he tried to stop him.
"I'm always the one who hurts him the most and…" he completely relaxed and looked up.
"Don't…" he warned.
"And maybe it's all better if I just die… I just want to die… please kill me… Please…" he pleaded.
Finally the long awaited plan came. Finally something shot into his head, finally he regained enough control again.
"Okay." he answered coldly.
He turned around and took a special gun, especially designed to be able to kill Kaoru if that was ever needed. If he ever lost control, he could blow the world up without an effort. He carefully aimed at his head.
"You know, it was so obvious to begin with," he started.
Oh please, please make this work. He never hoped more that a plan of his would work. He couldn't fail. He couldn't really shoot this boy. For so many reasons, he just didn't want to.
"What was?" but Kaoru reacted just as he thought he would.
"That it was all an act and that Hikaru never really cared about you," he answered, loading the gun.
"That's not true!" Kaoru jumped up and clenched his fists. "Of course Hikaru cares about me! He's my twin! Don't talk about him like that! Just what do you know about love?! You don't get anything… Of course Hikaru cares about me!"
Kaoru shook from anger. Just what did he know? He was never loved, he never had anyone beside him, and just how could he possibly know? Hikaru was Kaoru's angel, his life, his song, his reason for being and not a bad word about that was allowed. People had to learn stop talking about things they didn't know. Kaoru's mind was working in such a fast tempo he couldn't keep up anymore. It was just too much. The pain was just too unbearable. He couldn't take this. He couldn't survive with the thought of hurting Hikaru.
Hikaru didn't even scream. He just watched. Kaoru just watched him die. Because of him. All because of him.
"Ah, then you don't care about him," the gun was touching his forehead now. "Because you'll just leave him alone when things get difficult. You're just running. That's cowardly. So you don't really care enough to fight for him. You never really loved your twin."
Kaoru smashed the gun away, grabbing Kyouya by his collar. Without realising it he lifted him up several inches into the air. Kyouya didn't even struggle. He didn't even try to fight. It was useless anyway. Kaoru's eyes flamed with anger. Tears were welling up as he stared into Kyouya's eyes.
"I love him. You can't even come close to imagine how much I love him" he bit back. "I'm not like you. I'm not anything like yo-"
And then it hit him.
Slowly he let go of Kyouya, placing his feet back on the ground. His hands released their grip on his clothes and he looked down, ashamed. It had been there again. Kyouya's hidden kindness. It was one of those things he did and that made him seem like a bad person, even though his intentions were only to help. Kaoru didn't know why he liked to make the bad guy out of himself so much, but he always did. Kyouya always did.
He laughed.
"I'm an idiot, aren't I?"
Kyouya took a deep breath and smiled a little.
"Just a little."
"I'm sorry," Kaoru said and looked up. "I won't ask stupid things anymore… You're probably right… if I die then I won't solve anything."
"Not quiet, I think."
"Probably n-" Kaoru grimaced from the pain, grabbing his side and closing his eyes.
"Kaoru… I…" Kyouya looked at the boy. "I'm afraid you'll have to go there again. I know you don't like it, but it's the fastest way. This much damage can't be easily fixed."
Kaoru didn't even look up anymore.
"How long?" he simply asked.
Kyouya looked away from the boy and answered as emotionless as possible: "until tomorrow noon must be enough."
"O-Okay… Kyouya, will you do something for me?" Kaoru looked up, smiling a little.
"Depends," he answered back.
"Will you tell Hikaru I won't be coming home tonight? But you have to do it personally. Not just ringing him or leaving a message somewhere, I want you to go to our house and tell him. Because… I already hurt him enough… I don't want him to think that… that… that he's…"
But he couldn't say that word.
"Alone," Kyouya ended his sentence. "And surely, if that's all, I'll gladly do so."
"Thank you," Kaoru smiled. "Let's go then."
Kyouya nodded. He opened the door again and Kaoru followed. Kyouya barely noticed when Kaoru grabbed his hand, the touch cold but fluent. It had become some kind of tradition, some kind of habit. Neither of them knew why. Nor did they know how. Just one, it seemed Kaoru felt better when he held Kyouya's hand and that Kyouya felt slightly more comfortable leading the other through the base without having to look back all the time.
Kaoru always stayed behind. Kaoru always followed. Kaoru never lead. Kyouya came to notice these things, even when before they didn't seem important. But always, always Kaoru was one step behind someone. He was always one step behind Hikaru, he walked happily through the halls, fingers entwined and leading his brother. Hikaru always leaded and Kaoru always followed. Kyouya didn't know why, but he always did. Kaoru never went off on his own.
Everyone stared at them, eyes following them. Kyouya didn't really care anymore. Of course, he had to be careful. But he couldn't bring himself to let Kaoru go. Because no one really said to him he couldn't do this. No one actually ordered him to not touch that ultimate weapon he built. So until someone did, he'd hold Kaoru's hand, just because he didn't feel like letting go.
The door slowly opened and closed again. Going through all the security systems, Kaoru didn't say a word. He wasn't even surprised anymore when all the things happening here were even more technologic then a James Bond film. They had it all, first you had to identify by your voice, then your eyes were scanned, then a fingerprint. Kaoru knew it was only important for this room to be so highly protected. Because that was the room, the only place on earth, Kaoru was completely shut down and vulnerable.
Even a weapon like him could be killed then. It was the only place on earth where he could be hurt.
X - - ::……………………………………..…..:: - - X
The night was dark and cold. Kyouya stood for the large, wooden door, almost doubting about whether to knock or not. He sighed. It was better to keep Kaoru his friend and for the one time he asked something, he couldn't just refuse it. He slowly lifted his hand and knocked on the door.
Almost immediately it flew open and he heard a voice: "Kaoru?! Kaoru is that you?! Why are you kno-"
The voice died when the door was completely open and Kyouya stared into Hikaru's eyes, full of panic and dying hope. Bitterness took over and he folded his arms over his chest. He leaned back and said irritated: "Oh, it's you. Kaoru isn't here, so if you're here for him… What are you doing here anyway?"
"Kaoru won't be coming home this night. He won't be on school either," Kyouya answered coldly. "He asked me to come and tell you personally. That's all."
He turned around again and was ready to walk away, but Hikaru's voice stopped him, as the lonely twin snapped at him: "what have you done with him?"
"I'm not in any position to tell you that," he answered, not even bothering to turn around.
"Can I see him?" Hikaru asked, his hands on the doorway, staring at the dark haired boy's back.
"You can't." Kyouya answered. "You wouldn't want to, either."
"But he's my twin!" Hikaru clenched his fists and tried to fight the anger.
"Let him go, Hikaru… You'll only hurt him more if you keep holding on this desperately. This is out of your league. You can't help him anymore. The only reason he cries is because of you. Let him go and save him from that pain. I can take care of him. You don't have to bother anymore," he pushed up his glasses and stared at the empty street before him.
There was silence for a while. He could feel Hikaru's eyes staring disbelievingly at his back, the anger and indignation all around him, but he didn't say a word. Not wanting to give a change to get his act back together and start yelling at him, he walked away, leaving the completely lost boy behind.
"I can't believe this…" he silently muttered. "I can't believe you're this heartless!"
And without a warning Kyouya felt how he was pulled back, made a half turn and faced the hurt twin, almost going insane by the pain. His wrist felt like it was going to snap under his firm, painful grip, but he just stared back, not a single sign of emotion in his eyes.
"Even you, even you must feel something!" the grip on his wrist tightened even more.
"Let me go," he calmly said. "I have to check how your brother's doing."
"Twin!" he bit back. "Not just my brother. My twin. And I wanna see him. Now."
"I already told you that you can't. Don't make me repeat myself," Kyouya sighed uninterested.
"Then at least tell me what's going on! What have you done to him?!" Hikaru slowly released his grip.
"I've only done what was necessary. Nothing more and nothing less. Let it go, Hikaru. Kaoru doesn't need you. He doesn't need you to freak out. Let it go. There is nothing you can do," Kyouya turned around again. "I'll see you tomorrow at school."
And with that he walked away again, hearing the sharp gasps leaving his throat. It wasn't like he jealous. It wasn't like he hated the way Hikaru couldn't understand his own twin. It wasn't like anything, anything in this whole situation got to him. He was still outside and everything he said and everything he did was purely objective. There was no emotion involved at all.
No, it wasn't like he fell in love with Kaoru.
Hikaru stared until Kyouya complete disappeared into the darkness. He clenched his fists, fighting the tears. He couldn't even stop him. He couldn't even convince him to at least let him see his twin. He was just left alone, without a word to say. He turned around, smashed the door close and ran upstairs. Tears burned and a feeling of pure hate welled up. He flung open another door, running inside and shut the door close again. Tears fell down his cheek and he hid his face in Kaoru's pillow. He never felt so alone. He never was so alone.
Kaoru wasn't there. He was there, somewhere on this planet, somewhere so far away from him and … and Kyouya knew where. He did know. But Hikaru didn't. His own twin didn't know. This was too awful for words. Too awful to be true. Knowing it would be fruitless; he grabbed his cell phone and dialed Kaoru's number.
He didn't even expect him to answer.
Defeated, he smashed the phone away and fell back on the back. His eyes pierced through the ceiling and he could almost feel the loneliness burn something out of his heart. Things weren't suppose to be this way. He wanted Kaoru. He wanted to hear him say how everything would be alright. He wanted something to come and solve this all. He wanted the world to atone for its sins. No one had the right to do this to his precious twin.
Do what?
He didn't even know. He didn't even know what happened to his twin. All he could see were the tears, flowing over his cheeks, the ripped clothes, the blood everywhere, but not his. All he could remember were those gigantic black wings. Wings. Humans don't have wings.
He shivered.
Humans don't have wings. But humans do cry. He closed his eyes and turned around, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get the picture out of his head. He tossed and turned, hated himself for not being able to protect Kaoru. Kaoru was alone too now. He was somewhere on the little planet and he was all alone. He must've been through so much and Hikaru never was there to…
But that would change. Hikaru smiled a little. Yes, that would all change.
From now on, he wouldn't leave his beautiful twin alone anymore. From now on, he would protect him against everything. From now on, he'd be the twin he should've been all along.
Nothing on this little planet could change his love for Kaoru. Nothing. And it was time to let that show. Now his twin needed him, there was no way he'd back down and let him be alone. Starting from tomorrow, starting for the first second they'd be together again, Hikaru swore that with a all his might, that with all the power love could give him, he'd make this world a better place for his twin.
Love could defeat everything, even reality. Love could take away the pain. Love was all they needed. And Hikaru loved his twin. More then anyone on this planet could ever imagine.
X - - ::……………………………………..…..:: - - X
Yaaaaaaaaay! Second chapter! Woah, I'm sooooo thankful for all the reviews I got! Love you all! Uhm, well about this chapter: Sorry that it took so long, but it's a lot... And the next is going to be as long or maybe even a little longer... I'm sorry! XD And for the rest... Uhm... I'm sorry for not really describing how Kaoru felt when Hikaru saw him, but I think it's the same as Hikaru, probably... I mean, if I'd write that too it would be even longer and there would be a lot of repeating. I know, I always repeat. But that's my writing style so... Can't help it XD Oh! And! And! Those who say Kyouya can't be emotinal are W R O N G. Watch ep 24 again XD He CRIED, yes, cried, because of some music. Yeah, sure, piano is beautiful but to cry? Meeeeh... Wuss! XD Sooooo, if he can cry because of that, he can surely get emotianal about Kaoru in this kind of situation. Muhahah. And yeah... Hikaru is pretty quick over it, but he's not really over it, you see? He just wants to help his twin, but that doesn't mean he's not confused about this anymore. Just wanted to let you know. As for the rest... uhm... I think that's all? Oh, and I promise there'll be some KyouKao action in the next chapter XDDD And... some... uhm, Anti-HaruHika? But I'm not going to spoil more XDD
Please review! It really made me happy! I'm soooo grateful to everyone who put his precious time into trying making me a better writer or just telling me that someone in this world is reading my story and thinks it's okay. Thank you!
Credits to Hoenn:
As always, she Beta'd. XD Yay! She's soooo cool! -Gives Hoenn chocolate XD-
See you guys!
- Jazy-chan!