Disclaimer I don't own Inuyasha Rumiko Takahashi, and VIZ Media do
1its 's wolf versus dog in an epic war over and in an attempt to lay first claim to a canine prize. 2 Sugimi looked forward to Monday it was the day his favorite thing occurred a heist. 3 Pups Inuyasha, and Sesshoumaru have a secret they're hiding from their father. 4 Someone talking in their sleep during dreams makes Inuyasha take action. 5 Kagome finds a sweet little puppy aka Kagome's little bundle of joy and possibly Inuyasha's worst nightmare. Complete one shots, Sessh/Kag
Sesshoumaru's Twisted Tales 2
By Raven2010, Aug 25 2012
Story 1
All's fair in love and war
Father and son inus Sugimi, and Sesshoumaru were immensely enjoying the intense competition and war over a much sought after canine treasure. They leisurely sat backs against the wall fingers laced with their hands behind their heads relaxing
"Father what is your opinion on this? Sesshoumaru asked
"Well son I really find it quite amusing and very entertaining," Sugimi answered
"Yes I must agree,"
"If only I had known this was coming I'd have prepared snacks ahead of time," Sugimi joked
"Like this? grinning Sesshoumaru who had used his demonic speed said as he handed his sire a family sized bag of potato chips and set two bottles of soda down
"Show off," the two inus enjoyed their snacks and continued watching
"I'll make wolf steaks outta ya," Inuyasha said
"To bad mutt their mine now," Kouga replied and he smirked as he bit down on a mouth full of beef jerky strips
"Hehehe" the evilly smiling hanyou laughed
"Hmmm" in snack heaven still chewing beef jerky Kouga moaned
"Hope you're enjoying them wolfy cakes,"
"Uh oh," Sugimi exclaimed
"Ha? Kouga mumbled
"Cause I wiped my balls with them and my pits to and I don't use deodorant," Inuyasha lied smiling evilly
"Arm pits balls son we are bearing witness to greatness and a chart topper," Sugimi exclaimed
"Disgusting but hilarious," Sesshoumaru commented
'Got ya by the short hairs now' Inuyasha thought
Kouga's face screwed up in a mix of repulsion pure disgust and shock and his beautiful blue eyes were wide with horror. In that moment Sugimi truly pitied him but Inuyasha did inherit his depraved sense of humor from him so it was a true case of like father like son. Sugimi, and Sesshoumaru could not wait to see what was coming next
"He truly is your son and this is proof," Sesshoumaru exclaimed
"Was there ever any doubt? Grinning Sugimi asked
"Yum I taste good hah?" Inuyasha tormented his rival
The gagging wolf now bent over the kitchen sink swiftly spit out the jerky and proceeded to repeatedly wash his mouth out with soap and water. Standing by watching his masterpiece at work the busting at the seams hanyou nearly peed his pants when he burst out laughing at his unfortunate victim. Meanwhile Kagome had let herself Miroku, and Sango in with the key that inu papa as she called Sugimi had given her the three looked the hanyou and wolf over wondering what was going on
"Oh no their at it again," Kagome exclaimed
"Yes, have you ever known a time when they weren't?" Sesshoumaru said
"Only when they're sleeping," Miroku, and Sango exclaimed
"Exactly" Sesshoumaru replied
"And even then I have my suspicions and believe that they have found a way to attack one another in the dream world as well," Sugimi added
"What started it this time? Kagome asked
"Beef jerky strips," Sugimi answered
"You're kidding me," Sugimi told her everything
"Mutt I'm going to kill you," murderously glaring Kouga snapped after washing his mouth out for the millionth time "Black dragon blade' he thought
'Tetsuseiga' as if sharing the same idea Inuyasha thought
The two canines took off headed for their swords the combatants returned each with sword in hand ready for battle with swords drawn on each other the two ready for battle. In less than a second Sugimi had each one by one ear forcing the two canines down into a bent over position both ground their teeth and growled lowly Sugimi smirked
"Ow, ow, ow," they simultaneously yelped when he tugged a bit
"You two are not going to use two powerful extremely dangerous demon swords to settle your petty squabbles in my house destroying it and reducing it to rubble in the process. There is a large empty lot far from here go there if you wish to continue," Sugimi scolded
"Ha, ha papa verbally bitch slapped your asses," Kagome teased
"Ouch my little bottom stings," Miroku added
"I'll be good," Kouga said when an evil thought crossed his mind
"And you? Sugimi asked
"Yeah me to," Inuyasha answered
"I'm not hearing any sincerity," Sugimi said
"I'll be good," Kouga, and Inuyasha replied at the same time
"Syonara dog breath," Kouga exclaimed the second Sugimi released him "Yo dog boy," he taunted giving a one fang over his bottom lip wolfish grin
"What stupid wolf? Annoyed Inuyasha replied
Kouga said nothing and in a flash second had Kagome in his big strong arms kissing her senseless, at that exact moment Sugimi let go of Inuyasha's ear Inuyasha looked at the pair "You son of a bitc," Inuyasha started
"Now Inuyasha this is a child friendly zone no swearing," Miroku playfully teased
"After I kill this stinking wolf I'll get to you,"
"Yee ha my sweet Kagome," Kouga needled after removing his lips from Kagome's then licking them
"Keep your dirty lips off of her," Inuyasha demanded "The fuck," he yelled when Sugimi latched onto the back of the waist of his pants halting him as he tried to lunge for Kouga "Bastard,"
"Yo mutt watch and learn," Kouga taunted and Kissed Kagome again
"The wolf is a fine instructor," Sesshoumaru added
"Figures one pansy always sides with the other," Inuyasha griped "So lord Flyffymaru whens the wedding? And who's going to be the bride?
"Right after your and Jakotsu's wedding," Sesshoumaru shot back
"Go Kouga, go Kouga," Miroku, and Sango cheered while Kouga continued kissing Kagome
"Wolf," Inuyasha snapped when Sugimi released him then Sugimi sat down next to Sesshoumaru again
"Mutt" Kouga replied with a cocky gloating tone
"So one hidden reason for their battling and fierce competing is for the miko and partly over snacks to," Sesshoumaru commented
"Yes so it seems," Sugimi replied and they continued to watch the dog wolf war
"I kissed Kagome, I kissed Kagome," Kouga taunted "And it was sooo good," he needled
"Yeah well enjoy the memory because you'll soon be eating dirt," Inuyasha said
One week later
A week had passed Sugimi was having a big barbecue he bought the best largest and juiciest steaks there were. Mouths watering the canine youkais were wantingly sizing them up with dreamy looks in their eyes. Sango and other guests brought meat and extra goodies to Sango, and Kagome wordlessly agreed that this was going to be a special and fun day
"You wouldn't? Sugimi questioned
"Are you sure about that? Kagome replied
"You evil little vixen," he teased
"Why Inu papa you flatter me so,"
"Where did you get it?
"A friend of a friend,"
He grinned "Shikimaru,"
"And free of charge to all he wants in return is for me to film it for him,"
"Sadistic neko he hasn't changed a bit in over nine hundred years," he replied
Kagome put her prize on the table her new cohort in crime Sugimi smiled. Miroku, and Sango talked and agreed with what Kagome was going to do and the barbecue guests snacked on goodies while the food cooked
"Kagome darling?" Jakotsu teasingly called
"Jaky" she said heading to him with open arms they ran toward each other and hugged
Inuyasha, and Kouga glared competitively and murderously at each other. But when their eyes fell upon Kagome's gift smirks immediately formed on their lips and their friends had all they could do to keep from laughing. The two canines eyed their target each other than turned their attention back to the object of their affections each plotting and looking
"Forget it you mangy wolf you aren't man enough," Inuyasha said
"You talk about yourself too much," Kouga replied
"Ah go look in the mirror and love yourself,"
"All talk and no action makes mutt face a dumb dull boy," smirking Kouga needled
Inuyasha's eyes were glued on the wolf then his prize "Nooooo," the distraught hanyou cried out
"Here we go kiddyz," Sugimi teased his pals
"Ooo it's going to be a canine pile up," Jakotsu joked "I volunteer to be the traffic cop and referee,"
Kouga dove getting to it first snatched it off of the table tauntingly held it up and ran his tongue up and down the length of it marking the five pound grade A piece of prime beef as his "No my baby," Inuyasha whined "That's kidnapping,"
"Sweet" smiling Kagome exclaimed
"Whoa and the wolf makes an amazing three second touchdown," Miroku said making like a sports announcer "The speedy wolf gets the prize stay tuned folks and see what happens next,"
"Mine, mine, mine it was mine and you put dirty lips and diseased mouth on it," Inuyasha griped
"You mean like this?" Kouga taunted licking it again and to add dramatic affect he peppered it with kisses
"Eeeeew disgusting" are ya gonna eat it or make love to it?
"Both and maybe marry it to," Kouga replied with a smug victorious grin
"I believe that is called beastiality,"
"Correction mutt more like beast reality this beast got the meat and that's reality," Kouga needled and started devouring it
"Murderer she was mine," Inuyasha whined
"Was that worth it or what? Kagome who was still filming it asked
"Miko you look like a sweet defenseless angel but you're a devil in disguise," Sesshoumaru told her
"Why thank you my favorite inu," she whispered something in his ear and handed Sugimi the camera then she and Sesshoumaru swiftly disappeared
After morning the loss of his steak and a few strings of curse words Inuyasha came to his senses and back down to earth his beautiful golden eyes searched the yard not seeing what he was looking for he walked over to his father and friends
"Hey where's my wench? The hanyou asked
"I have no idea," Sugimi replied
"Don't know," The others answered at the same time
Inuyasha searched the grounds no Kagome, then went back into the house and searched it. Catching her scent faintly he followed his nose which led him upstairs he stealthily snuck up and opened the door of Sesshoumaru's room he could not believe what he saw and was shocked by it
Oh my eyes somebody pluck em out and burn them my virgin eyes I'm scarred for life. I need a gallon of bleach and a steel brush to scrub my soiled brain." He shrieked
"It seems he's finally found them," smirking Sugimi said
"Took him long enough I thought we were going to be waiting a year before he did," Sango added everyone laughed
"Ah mutts getting slow in his old age," Kouga joked "Thought we'd have to make a sign with an arrow,"
"Wimp got free sex ed class cheapskate ought to tip the professor," Bankotsu added
Inuyasha came running down the stairs like his pants were on fire and the devil was hot on his tale "Hey dog breath what happened did ya look in the mirror for the first time and saw the real you and could not believe the horror, bet it was scary hah?" Kouga needled the running hanyou
"Bleach, lye, ammonia, oven cleaner I need them all must clean brain," Inuyasha shrieked
"Yup it was scary," Kouga teased
About 3 hours after the incident
"Pluck them out your virgin eyes you need bleach steel brush soiled brain," Sesshoumaru repeated what he had said "I know of something better,"
"Like what get bent fluffy?" Inuyasha replied
'Hm" was Sesshoumaru's response
In the blink of an eye the brothers disappeared Sesshoumaru came back a few seconds later "Sesshoumaru where is your brother?" Sugimi asked
"Taking a spin,"
"Taking a spin? Sugimi questioned
"Yes he took his new car out for a spin," Sesshoumaru answered
"Oh boy," Sugimi listened
"Weeeee," he heard
"What have you done? He asked Sesshoumaru
"Nothing dear,"
"Now this I have got to see," Kouga exclaimed he followed the direction Sesshoumaru had come from
"Weeeee,"
"What the hell? The wolf exclaimed when his eyes took in the sight "I cannot believe this,"
"Yes and this I must see," Sugimi said
"As you wish sire," lounging in his favorite chair Sesshoumaru exclaimed
In the laundry room Inuyasha was in the washing machine on the gentle cycle "He's drunk the mutts drunk," Kouga commented
"Sniff ah hah eldest pup has put youngest in the washing machine with a sickening sweet perfume resulting in youngest pup getting drunk from the fumes,"
"Yes it is called Hanyou repellent my own special blend I was saving it for a special occasion," Smirking Sesshoumaru told his father
"Hanyou repellent? Jakotsu asked
"Yes inus are very sensitive to smell and sickening sweet perfumes tend to make us drunk," Sugimi explained
Sugimi emptied the washing machine opened the door took hold of the back of the collar of Inuyasha's shirt held him up and looked him in the eyes "Hey p, po pop," he stammered
"Pup" Sugimi replied
"Yashy want to ride more vroom, vroom,"
"Your drunk,"
"So? Inuyasha answered "What's it illegal? I am 19 in human years I think" he scratched his head with one claw "Ah puck it I'm legal,"
"No more vroom, vroom,"
"Wet blanket," Inuyasha exclaimed "Hey Inu smell good but to sweet,"
"Hm I have a drunken perfumed pup,"
"Hey pop I wanna tell you something lemme whisper in your ear okay?" Sugimi put his ear near Inuyasha's mouth "Okay listen shhh dis is a secwet I mean a secret hehehe," he slurred
"I'm listening,"
"Sessh had Kagome up in his woom I mean room I think they were doing it hehehe," Inuyasha said
"They are mates,"
"But pop he's 17 to young," Inuyasha exclaimed thinking he and Sesshoumaru were back when they were teenagers
"You have gone back four years he is twenty one,"
"Weally?
"Yes really," Sugimi answered
"Otay um okay" hey why am I wet?
"Your brother gave you a bath in the washing machine," Sugimi told him
"I kill him later I too drunk to do it now, shhh don't tell fluffy okay,"
"Deal, time for bed," Sugimi said then put Inuyasha over his shoulder
"Nighty night," Yash the others exclaimed in unison
"Night every on," he didn't finish "Snore"
"Sessh you are positively evil," said Kagome who was sitting on his lap
"I know," grinning Sesshoumaru replied, after putting Inuyasha to bed Sugimi came back Kagome nipped Sesshoumaru's ear "Now you've done it and I shall show you evil," he took off all that was seen was a ball of light
"Don't break the bed pup," Sugimi joked
Story 2
Office wars
Office thievery, paybacks a bitch
Though he was a high powered corporate CEO and son of Taisho Corp Sugimi Taisho Inuyasha never lost his playful or wiseacre side a side that may very likely get him killed swiping a certain person's favorite donut was risky dangerous and deadly not to mention a suicidal mission. This earned him the office nickname danger dog and this is why his father Sugimi looked forward to Monndays. Inuyasha watched as Mika the girl from the bakery arrived with the weekly Monday delivery of a box of donuts muffins and cupcakes. The sneaky hanyou rubbed his hands together and licked his lips in anticipation
"Dear gods Inuyasha again?" Miroku said
"Shut it,"
"But why? Miroku questioned
"Cause,"
"Cause what? Miroku asked
"Cause it tastes better,"
"Tastes better that makes no sense," Miroku said
"Yes it does it tastes better when I swipe it,"
"Inuyasha you have finally lost it,"
"No I did not but I'm about to gain it,"
Mika set the box down on the desk turned and left the office bidding her customers and friends farewell and headed for the front door. As Mika exited the building she grinned knowing Inuyasha was a dead dog and possibly on his way to the graveyard Sango had told her about the hanyous weekly capers. Miroku, Sango and the others waited, they were all chomping at the bit though not a TV series this was his favorite episode
"You willingly put yourself in danger" do you have a death wish? Miroku asked his devious friend
"No nimbus I have a donut wish," Inuyasha answered
"Little brother if you cause a war in my office and disrupt my employees I will skin you and give the pelt to Jakotsu to use as a blanket," came the cold voice of Sesshoumaru
"Stuff it fluffy," Inuyasha replied
"No I'll stuff you mount you on a plaque and put you on display,"
"As if ya giant needs to be removed wart," Inuyasha said then disappeared
"Maybe today I shall be granted my fondest wish and become an only child ah heaven," the smiling evilly taiyoukai exclaimed
Inuyasha smirked triumphantly and snuck off with his prize in hand and a dreamy look in his eyes went into his office and closed the door behind him, everyone waited with baited breath as the victim of the theft arrived and went into their office but nothing happened. It was to quiet and unnerving and highly unusual
"What not screaming cursing and promises of death?" Sango exclaimed
"I'm scared hold me," Kouga joked
"Ah yes the annual Monday Morning death match the sole reason why I look forward to Mondays," Sugimi who had just arrived said
"Not this time father nearly two minutes have passed and nothing has happened yet," looking at his watch Sesshoumaru told his father
"Damn" disappointed Sugimi exclaimed
"Inuyasha's inter calm buzzed "Yes?
"In five four three two one," Sango counted
"Sit boy," Kagome said crash
"Ah now that makes my day" Smiling Sugimi said "First time she's used the sit command for this,"
"Gods damn it Kagome that was a dirty trick rotten wench," indignant Inuyasha responded
"Not nearly as rotten as you stealing my powdered donut every week," she reminded "Oh and by the way,"
"By the way what?
"Sit" bam was her response
"Damn it wench are you trying to kill me?"
'Not yet but the day's still young besides I was just saying thank you, thank sit you,"
"Now that's the kind of girl I want as a daughter," proud Sugimi stated
"Love her new response to it sit," Kouga added "That's my girl"
"Nice way to say thank you," grinning Sango added
Buzz "Yeah what do you want? Indignant answering his inter calm Inuyasha bit
"Thank you pup sir," Sugimi needled
"Go yank your pipe if you still have one you mangy old goat," he shot back
"Why I had no idea you'd lost yours there are transplants you know," Sugimi jabbed receiving a growl
Two days after the incident
Two days passed by without any more feuding, Inuyasha eagerly waited for the Wednesday food delivery to come his mouth watering, Mika was bringing it she came in said hi to everyone and set the box down on the table Miroku opened the box Inuyasha licked his lips beef strips with rice and peppers grabbing a plate he piled his plate up. He walked over to his desk and sat down ready to eat with his chopsticks he grabbed a piece of the meat and was ready to eat all that was seem coming then going was a streak Inuyasha looked for his food
"Hey," he exclaimed "My peppers steak and rice and a side order of ramen," he griped then sniffed "Kagomeee,"
"How's it feel to have someone steal your food? She taunted from behind her locked office door
"Damn you wench I'm starving," he whined
"You're a strong young hanyou go hunting and catch something, if you cannot get a pig or deer and your desperate there's always cat and dog meat better start soon before you starve to death," she said to freak him out
"That is disgusting cat I don't eat nekos and dogs I am half dog ya evil wench,"
"Well try some slurp rats bon appetite," she replied between slurps of ramen "Gods this peppers beef and rice combo is amazing and ramen who thought ramen could be so good, oh that's right it tastes better when it's swiped ramen later sweetness,"
"Damn you," he griped everyone returned to their places
Buzz "Yes? Sesshoumaru answered his inter calm
"Sessh would you like to join me? Kagome asked
He headed to Kagome's office she opened the door let him then quickly closed and locked it then "Oh miko this is wonderful," Sesshoumaru exclaimed
"Isn't it the best?
"If only I had tried this long ago I'd have known oh what I've been missing," he replied
"What are you shitting me she swipes my food brings the giant fur ball into her office locks the door and they're, theye're doing it. I get food jacked and left to starve and he gets party time son of a b," Inuyasha started but stopped
"If this desk is a rockin don't come a knockin," Miroku razzed
"Wonder if they'll do it sitting," Jakotsu added
"Nah he's canine so more than likely the first hit will be doggy style," Kouga needled
"Held up against the wall on the floor desk chair sofa every position who cares as long as you're hitting it long hard and hot," Sugimi loved shocking and getting a big rise out of Inuyasha every chance he got
"What? Will you shut up? Your our father for cripes sake," Inuyasha
"Before I am your father I am a man a fur loving man purr,"
"Oh gods I'm going to be ill," Inuyasha complained
"Meow" Kouga added Inuyasha was about to insult him when Kagome's office door opened Sesshoumaru stepped out
"I get food jacked and you go surfing bastard," Inuyasha bit
"As I recall this is an office and there is no ocean here," Sesshoumaru answered
"You know what I mean ass hat,"
"I am dense explain," Sesshoumaru played dumb
"She food jacks me then invites you in for some office action, you said if only I had tried this long ago,"
"Fool does that sewer you call a brain have any normal functions?" Sesshoumaru said "The miko however did invite me to share some of her ramen with her and I must say it is quite good,"
"You helped her eat my damned ramen?
"Yeees," Sesshoumaru teased
Kagome heard this "Sesshoumaru sama? She called
"Yes?
"Got a sec? she asked that's when Inuyasha noticed her cleavage showing way more than usual and gasped the others snickered
"I have more than that,"
"I cannot believe this shit wench kidnaps my food now the horny wench wants some lovin," Inuyasha griped
"And I am the man for the job," Sesshoumaru needled then closed and locked Kagome's office door behind himself
"Ramen as an aphrodisiac who would have thought it?" Sugimi exclaimed, they became mates that day
Story 3
Fleas
Sugimi watched his pups they'd been behaving strangely as of late when asked what was going they said nothing was the matter so he made up his mind he'd lay back say and do nothing and wait if patient enough he'd find out eventually. The following day he watched his small pups one clamped on to the others back side fangs hanging on running in circles growling like dogs chasing their tales it was he had to admit it was a hilarious sight
"Bet min are stronger than yours," Inuyasha said then bit again
"Hah I am bigger so that means my fangs are the strongest," Sesshoumaru replied then returned to biting his brother again
"Yield" Inuyasha mumbled
"Never" Sesshoumaru replied neither ever relinquishing their hold on the other
Then it turned into a combination of a wrestling match and nip fest as the two proceeded to nip each other all over "They are worse than brawling cats," Sugimi whispered
The following day
"Oh"
"What is it? Sesshoumaru asked
"They moved down to my magic rod," Inuyasha replied
"Mind your claws little brother we males and do not want to lose our sacred staffs,"
"Man then I'd have to sit like a girl to make water," Inuyasha said
"Why will they not die?
"Ooo that's it to the left," Inuyasha exclaimed as Sesshoumaru kept scratching "I think they won't die because they love inu blood and it makes them stronger,"
"Uh oh," they exclaimed when they were simultaneously lifted off the ground
"So you boys fear a flea bath more than you fear continuing to suffer with the little blood sucking vermin?" Sugimi said while holding them up by the napes of their necks at eye level
"I don't have fleas we were just playing," Inuyasha fibbed
"We were practicing war maneuvers," Sesshoumaru added
"Male inus without fleas get the girls," Sugimi reasoned
"I don't like girls their yucky," Inuyasha protested
"And I have no interest in the female species," Sesshoumaru added
"That is what you say now but believe me that will change," Sugimi told them
"Eeew" Inuyasha, and Sesshoumaru exclaimed
'Hm not today I shall wait and see how long they can hold out before they surrender' Sugimi thought
Next day
Sugimi watched his pups playing their version of dog tag over the next couple of days it turned into something new chasing scratching each other Sesshoumaru biting Inuyasha's butt then biting each other and chewing on one another like bones. Sugimi was enjoying it to some degree because it was in its own way it was hilarious. Sugimi held back a laugh as he watched his two little pups laying on their sides Inuyasha in back of Sesshoumaru using all fours hands and feet to scratch his brothers itches, then they turned over and Sesshoumaru returned the favor they were busy that gave him time to prepare
"That's it oh yeah the sweet spot," Inuyasha said as Sesshoumaru reached and scratched the last of his severe itches
"Yes a little more to the right growl," Sesshoumaru exclaimed as Inuyasha scratched his back
"Hey Sessh I got one he's a fat one to," Inuyasha said holding the captured flea between his claws
"Well squish it hurry up,"
Squish "I squished him," Inuyasha announced
"Uh ohhhhh," both exclaimed when they were picked up and started flying away
"Hey Sessh we're flying,"
"What was your first clue? Sesshoumaru teased
"How are your fleas doing today boys? Sugimi asked
"Gulp"
"Not to worry my two little flea farms father is here to take care of you now,"
"We don't have fleas," Inuyasha protested
"Yes how many times must we tell you this?" Sesshoumaru said
"You know pups little boys who lie have one problem for each lie told their boy part shrinks a little each time,"
"Don't be ridiculous," Sesshoumaru exclaimed
"My boy part will shrink? Nervous Inuyasha responded then bit his forearm
"Yes son even if your brother denies it, it is true," Sugimi replied
"Preposterous," Sesshoumaru said then adjusted his sleeve but Sugimi caught it when he dug a claw in a part of his arm
"We hav," Inuyasha started and clamped a hand over his mouth
"Damn it," squirming Sesshoumaru snapped
"Sessh? Inuyasha said
"Never mind he already knows," Sesshoumaru responded "Oh yes to the right," he exclaimed as Inuyasha began scratching his back
"Right there harder," Inuyasha exclaimed when Sesshoumaru scratched his head "Whine, whine,"
"I thought so," Sugimi added
They landed and Inuyasha spotted the hot spring with strange things floating in the water as the steam rose up scents filled his senses "Sessh, Sessh he's gonna cook us look in the hot spring ," Inuyasha told his brother
"Who cares keep scratching," Sesshoumaru replied
"You dummy he seasoned the water and is going to cook us like pigs we gotta do something fast,"
"Little brother you have lost your mind ah keep scratching it is a well known fact inus do not cook or eat other inus," Sesshoumaru stated
"'Ahhh," both shrieked when they were dropped into the water clothes and all
A few seconds passed then "Hey no more itchies," Inuyasha exclaimed
"Oh this is wonderful," Sesshoumaru praised
"Yes my two little dinners this is a special blend of herbs that kills fleas," Sugimi announced
"See he said dinners told ya," Inuyasha said "Hey what are those things floating on the water?
"Demon fleas congratulations boys on your first experience with demon flea infestation" Aren't they wonderful? Sugimi teased
"What are you nuts? Both pups asked
"No just a father enjoying a little fun," Sugimi answered
Story 4
Dreams will tell
Inuyasha woke up to go to the bathroom and the sound of something caught his attention so he stopped and listened waited and heard something coming from Kagome's room human ears could not hear it but thanks to his sensitive canine hearing he could
"Yes Sesshoumaru yes,"
'Well I'll be damned bastards getting some' he thought
"Don't stop," Kagome said
"Hehehe horny wench," he laughed
"Gods Sessh," she moaned
"Sniff, sniff huh I smell miss hot pants but no Sesshoumaru," he said to himself "Wench is having a wet one,"
"So good," she exclaimed
"So good she says," the grinning hanyou whispered
He went to the hall closet opened the door got grabbed one of the extra pillows and closed the door. With pillow in hand he snuck over to and quietly opened her door slowly and smirked "It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it,"
At warp speed he tossed the pillow hitting Kagome with it closed the door and ran "Haha? What? Then a scent drifted to her nose "Ratyasha tour dead," she bit when she smelled his cologne
"Ah scores wench zero dog one sweet," Inuyasha said
Over the following days each night this went on Inuyasha decided to take action he stealthily left his room headed down the hall opened Sesshoumaru's door and slipped in "Oh fluffy my little muffin of love wakey, wakey,"
"Growl" was Sesshoumaru's response "Little brother you are a mere second from death,"
"Yeah whatever it's Kagome,"
"What is it? And you better have a valid reason" Sesshoumaru told him
"Shut your beak big bird and listen,"
"I've got a bird for you," Sesshoumaru scowled even in the dark with his demonic vision he could see Sesshoumaru giving him the finger
"Using your finger thought that was for girls" what did palming it go out of style?
"I shall palm your head into the wall," Sesshoumaru threatened
"Just shut up and listen," Inuyasha started
"Moan"
"Is the miko ill or in pain?
"Just get your ass up and let's go," Inuyasha answered. He reached over grabbed Sesshoumaru dragging him from his warm bed
"Will you stop pulling me? I am perfectly able to walk"
"Move it old dog," Inuyasha needled pulling Sesshoumaru along
"Ohhh" she exclaimed
"What ails her? Still groggy Sesshoumaru asked
When they reached Kagome's room Inuyasha opened the door Sesshoumaru was about to protest Inuyasha gave him one good push nearly sending him flying into her bed "Get in there and do your job," Inuyasha told him
"Yes Sesshoumaru yes," she moaned seeing the look on his brothers face Inuyasha smirked
"Leave," was all that Sesshoumaru said when the scent of her arousal hit his nose
"Sure I'll put up a do not disturb sign my job is done," and left closing the door behind him
"What the hell? Kagome nearly yelled when being woke up "Inuyasha this time you're going to die,"
"Ah hah" Sesshoumaru responded
Kagome reached up to grab Inuyasha's ears but found only hair and mentally gulped, she was slightly nervous and continued her journey sliding her hands down the sides of his head she came to a stop when she felt ears feeling them she felt elfen pointed ears and faintly gasped
"Sessh," she started
"Meow"
"Meow of all the things he could say when being caught he meows," Inuyasha mumbled while open palm smacking his foreheah
"Sessh what the? She began but was cut off by warm soft lips on hers "Mmm" she moaned he moved down to her neck "Yes Sesshoumaru,"
Dog in the yard hiding a bone," Inuyasha joked when after a few seconds he heard heated activities begin "Ah my work is done now I can finally get some sleep around here,"
The following morning
As everyone gathered for breakfast Inuyasha wore the most sinful grin anyone had ever seen Sesshoumaru knew that particular look and it always meant trouble "Good morning sweetness," Inuyasha greeted "have an interesting night last night?
Sango nearly choked on the milk in her mouth Miroku looked on with thw most perverted grin in history "What's that supposed to mean? Kagome asked
"You know," Inuyasha said and winked "Since you forgot let me help you," he pushed a button
"Yes Sesshoumaru yes," he'd recorded what she said during a dream 3 nights before
"Inuroachyasha" Kagome bit
"Yes my love?
"This time I'm going to rip your lips off," Kagome promised
"Let's hope you have the energy after playing ride the dog all night long,"
"Let's see you talk shit after I peel your pelt from your body," Kagome replied
"He'd make an excellent door mat rug, Sesshoumaru jabbed
"Yes especially in front of the toilet you know for those rare times when we males miss and lose a couple of drops," Miroku added
"A furry door mat to wipe your feet on," Sango teased
"What the fuck do I look like gods damned toilet paper to you? Stupid monk I rip it off that'll cure your problem quick fast and in a hurry my claws work like razors so we won't need a scalpel" are you ready sir wussalot?" Inuyasha promised
"Sorry doc I don't have monks medical insurance so that's out," Mitoku replied
"I'll do it for free hust drop your diaper and hold real still don't want to nick an artery or anything," he needled flexing his claws to stress the point
"Amateur," Sesshoumaru needled
"Don't worry you toilet brush I'll get to and kill you later. Now monk where were we? Oh yeah free surgical alteration"
"See ya," Miroku replied and tossed a homemade smoke bomb and disappeared
"Not to worry you wench in monks robes you cannot hide forever and I'll be here," the sadistically smirking hanyou said
Next morning
Sesshoumaru woke up got up looked at his mate and grinned lecherous thoughts crossed his mind and he thought he'd save those for later, he used their private bathroom and after a quick shower went back into the bedroom. He had it planned he was going to go down to the kitchen make Kagome breakfast and her favorite thing hot cocoa and surprise her with breakfast in bed then get a little after breakfast action that thought made him smirk. He walked over to their room door stepped into the hallway and when he closed the door behind him he saw it couldn't be real he thought but then knew it was
"Little brother? He called "Little brother? Silence
"Sesshoumaru what is going on? Sugimi asked. He stepped aside allowing his father to see it
"Gulp oh my,"
"Exactly" Sesshoumaru said "Little brother? He called again
"Puppy is hiding," Sugimi exclaimed
"Hehehe," Sesshoumaru laughed diabolically "Ramen" thump trip squeak the door opened
"Ramen? Inuyasha asked nearly drooling
"Hey what's going on out here? Sango one of the guests staying for the week asked after opening her door
"Hello dear brother," Sesshoumaru greeted as he grabbed him by the collar of his shirt
Miroku opened his door "What happened? Sesshoumaru pointed to his door
Dog at work do not disturb dog in horny dog mode under penalty of death, written in large bold letters and under the caption was a picture of a male dog mounting a female and mating her
"Inuyasha" they exclaimed
"What have you to say for yourself? Sesshoumaru asked Inuyasha
"Well you are a dog at work and horny and if anyone interrupts you'll kill them," Inuyasha replied
"Since this is already known why the sign?
"Cause I felt like it," Inuyasha answered "Who's a rug now?
Sesshoumaru's room door opened "Yawn" he turned his head "What's going on out here? Kagome asked he pointed to the sign she put a hand on his shoulder "Let's go make good on what it says,"
Sesshoumaru dropped Inuyasha on his butt next all that was heard is the lock clicking on his door "What no ramen?" Inuyasha wisecracked "Horny flea bag,"
Story 5
Kagome's little bundle of joy
Kagome was walking in the woods and stopped dead in her tracks when she heard a whimper, standing still she waited trying to find the direction it was coming from then she heard it again and followed it
"Where are you?
"Whine"
"I'm coming keep making noise so I can find you quicker,"
"Whine," it continued and she quickly found the source of the whimpers a beautiful golden eyed silver white puppy with ears like Inuyasha's
"Well aren't you the most adorable thing I've ever seen," Kagome said
"Woof" she picked him up and he licked her cheek
"Aw thank you I love you to," she cooed she looked "Ah hah you're a boy we have to give you a nice name,"
"Woof, pant, pant," he licked her cheek in agreement
"Gee you could spoil a girl you know that," she looked him over "Hm let's see, Prince? Nothing "King? Silence "Sagume?
"Woof,"
"Bingo we have a winner," she exclaimed "Want some food? He barked "Okay let's go to the village and get you fed,"
"Meow," Kirrara greeted Kagome and her new friend Sagume barked
"Kagome where did you find him he's beautiful?" Sango said
"I heard whimpering followed it and now we have Sagume here, he let me name him,"
"He is a handsome fellow," Miroku praised
"Kagome can I pat him? Shippou asked
"Sure" Shippou approached him and Sagume let the little fox pat him
"We're keeping him I hope" Please tell me he doesn't belong to somebody already?
"No Shippou he's ours," Kagome answered "Right?" the dog yipped in agreement
"Oh goody now I can polish my sword," just returning Inuyasha said
"So do it" what's stopping you? Kagome said
"Well wench you need a sword polisher to do that but up until now I didn't have one,"
"Where is it? She asked
"The fur ball he's perfect," Inuyasha ragged
"You leave Sagume alone,"
"Sagume you gave him a humans name?" he scoffed
"Well your half dog and they named you,"
"Ya well I am inu youkai not a mortal dog so that makes me superior" doesn't it? Inuyasha gloated with a smug look
"Nah" Sango, Kagome, Miroku, and Shippou exclaimed
"Growl" the puppy was indignant
"See he agrees" Inuyasha jabbed. Faster than the blink of an eye there stood Sagume one hind leg cocked peeing on Inuyasha's foot "Hey you mutt get off,"
"Hehehe" a puppy laugh is all he got
"Alright you little fur ball now it's war," Inuyasha declared,
Sagume huffed as if to say hah then lifted his tail all the way up lowered the front of his body and moved his little rear from side to side as if saying kiss my ass "You know he cannot talk but if I did not know any better I'd say he was telling you to kiss his backside" Miroku commented
"Aw he's just saying hello," Sango teased
"Let him say hello on your foot then," Inuyasha griped
"He was marking his territory your Sagume's property now," Sango razzed "That's what you dogs do ya know,"
"Inu youkais don't do that shit," Inuyasha griped
"He's just jealous because the dog is prettier than he is," Shippou needled
"Shut your trap ya fox fur ball," Inuyasha shot back "Me jealous of a dog don't be ridiculous,"
"Jealous, jealous," Shippou got the last word in
That night
Inuyasha went to take a bath he stripped lay his clothes on a nearby rock got into the water and rested his back against the rocks of the hot spring bank after a little while he dozed off into a semi deep sleep. He was dreaming about food beef vegetables and ramen then topping it off with desert apple pie in Kagome's house in his sleep he licked his lips. The practically drooling hanyou was in heaven it was so real he could taste the food then he was yanked from his dream when a high pitched how sounded in his right ear causing him to leap out of the water
"Who? What? Why? How? He exclaimed "Hey I'm naked and wet," he shrieked "Oh wait a minute I was having a bath," then it dawned on him howl "You little bastard," he got ready to get dressed "My clothes where are they?"
Back at the village there laying near Kagome was a very happy innocent angelic looking puppy without a care in the world. Meanwhile a certain hanyou was steaming mad when he found something that severely wounded his male pride his clothes were gone but he hadn't noticed until just then that they'd been replaced by a woman's pink kimono it being his only option to cover his body
"Gods damn that little mutt pink a fucking women's pink kimono castrate me already" why don't you? He ranted "He left my sword surprised he didn't paint it pink,"
Inuyasha returned to the village "Hello sexy wow check out those gorgeous legs," Sango teased
"And that ass now that's a prime piece of man meat," Kagome added
"Wonder what's under that Kimono?" Sango teased "Inuyasha if you wanted to borrow my kimono all you had to do is ask,"
"Oh boy I finally have a big sister I always wanted one," Kagome razzed
"Will you? Miroku started
"Monk finish that sentence and so help me I'll slice off your little monk," Inuyasha snapped
"I was only going to ask if you'd turn around so we can get a better look you deviant," Miroku replied
"Yeah right and I am going to move in with Sesshoumaru and live in his castle happily ever after," Inuyasha said "And you hentai wenches call men wolves,"
"Can we come? Sango razzed
"That mutt took my clothes and replaced them with this friggin kimono," he griped
"Inuyasha how can you blame an innocent puppy? Kagome scolded
"He's no puppy he is the devil, the devil I tell you,"
"Inuyasha it's okay we do not mind if you dress like a girl I understand if you find women's clothing more comfortable then men's clothes," Miroku teased "We won't tell" will we?
"Nope" Sango, and Kagome agreed
"Have you ever seen me wear women's clothing? Have you ever heard me complain about men's clothing? No" Inuyasha reminded "Wenches you suck,"
"What do we suck Inuyasha? Sango asked to bust his balls
"Yes Inu cakes please tell us?" Kagome teased
'What? Are you? Oh forget it I have no comment you aren't getting me to fall into one of your wench traps," the red faced blushing hanyou went up into his tree
"He's fun," Sango exclaimed
"I know right?" Kagome agreed
The following morning
"Hey everybody left over's from last night," Sango announced
"Coming" Kagome said
There was one fat piece of meat on an equally fat bone being eyed first by one canine "Okay it's all yours," Sango exclaimed he looked all dreamy eyed "Hey Inuyasha you give that back,"
"Nothing doing,"
"Sagume had first dibs," she scolded
"Growl bark," the furious pup responded
"Biggest dog gets the biggest bone and piece of meat," Inuyasha sassed "You swiped my clothes now I have your bone and meat correction my bone and meat," knowing she would he took off before Kagome could sit him
Sagume's brain was already scheming and he was in revenge mode "What happened no Inuyasha he's usually first in line?" Kagome asked Sango told her what happened
"He is so dead," Kagome said
Lunchtime
Inuyasha sat practically drooling rice meat vegetables and something he loved more than his own life finally the food was ready to be served everybody had their shares. Last but not least Inuyasha got his love ramen he had his chopsticks ready to take some of the noodles all that was seen was a streak of white when Inuyasha looked Sagume was doing something horrible
"Nooooo" he shrieked as the pup buried his ramen in front of him than to add insult to injury Sagume took the nice big piece of meat from his plate and began eating it in front of him "You flea bad I'm going to kill you," he lunged
"Sit boy" crash
"Damn you Kagome," Inuyasha cursed
"Like all good mothers I take care of my baby,"
"Wench"
Two days after
Inuyasha was fuming then it dawned on him all dogs be they human or youkai shared one common enemy and that enemy would come in handy about now and help him exact some sweet revenge. While Sagume slept that night Inuyasha poured something on him then the sneaky hanyou went and took his sleeping place under a tree. Sagume was awoke by itching the pup glared then got up from his sleeping spot next to Kagome he walked over to his target in a flash he was under the front of Inuyasha's haori he rolled around a couple of times then got out Kirrara winked at her puppy buddy. Inuyasha woke up just as the pup climbed out of his haori Sagume bolted to Kagome the hanyous claws were everywhere at once trying to scratch
"Ohhh fuck," he cursed
"Inuyasha would you mind keeping it down?" Miroku said
"I'm itching to death over here and all you can do is bitch,"
"Some of us want to sleep you know," Sango added
"What the hell is going on? Kagome asked
"Fleas the little prick gave me fleas," Inuyasha replied
"And how did he get them?
"How the hell do I know maybe you should ask your lover boy how he got them," he bit
"He didn't have them this morning the middle of the night and he suddenly he has fleas," Kagome reasoned
"Oh damn this itch, why ask me ask him?" he said "I was sleeping he crawled under my haori now I have fleas,"
"Uh hah," Kagome responded
"Ah Kagome I think puppy ears gave Sagume fleas," Sango commented
"Yes and being the highly intelligent and clever dog he is he returned them to their supplier," Miroku stated
"Yup sounds about right to me I'd sit ya but I think the fleas are doing a good job on their own," Kagome said
"Bark" Sagume responded
"See I knew it," Kagome gloated "Come here baby," Kagome picked him up there were only a couple of fleas and they immediately fell dead on the ground
"Ah hah only demon fleas die from a mikos touch," Miroku said
"Inuyasha you dirty dog," Kagome scolded
"Oh who cares fleas itching hot spring," he replied then ran for the hot spring
"He really wasn't paying attention and missed the part where Miroku said a mikos touch kills demon fleas," Sango commented
"I know hehehe," the laughing miko replied "Sagume Mommy is so proud of you," she teased he licked her cheek still holding him they went back to bed
A while later she felt Sagume stir he slowly crawled out from under the top of the sleeping bag and for a flash second she could have sworn she saw a crescent moon on his little forehead and two magenta stripes on each side of his face and stifled a gasp that threatened to escape her lips. Then a thought struck she asked Sagume if he wanted to go for a walk he yipped once for yes when they were out of sight she picked him up put him against her chest holding him up at eye level
"Sesshoumaru I know it's you," Kagome said
In an instant Sesshoumaru stood before her with his arms wrapped around her "Really? He teased
"Sesshoumaru you little," she started but was silenced by him kissing her
A day and a half later
A day and a half had passed by before Sesshoumaru, and Kagome returned to the village as a mated pair when Inuyasha saw that is was as they say going to have a bird. The two entered the village holding hands and smiling Sango, and Miroku looked shocked then smiled. Sesshoumaru could hardly wait to see Inuyasha's face and reaction and had the perfect thing to start the ball rolling. Inuyasha caught sight of it and his mouth went agape and Sesshoumaru took his cue
"Move in with me and live in my castle happily ever after little brother," Sesshoumaru repeated the words he used the night he'd taken Inuyasha's clothes
"You that god's damned pain in the ass devil puppy from hell was you the whole time why I ought to kill you?" Inuyasha snapped
"The miko found me adorable and look what I have now," Sesshoumaru needled
"Wait mates,"
"You just now noticed," Miroku teased
"Hey look butt head I've been in puppy hell for days I'm lucky if I know where my left foot is," Inuyasha barked "And you posing as a puppy" is that the lame way you meet girls now?
"Don't knock it till you've tried it," Sesshoumaru replied
"Fluffy you make my brain bleed,"