Inner Monologue
Year 2: Harry Potter and the Kill Me Now, and Quickly.
Only the good die young…which clearly means I am less than good.
This is sweet. Oh, how I have longed for this moment since the first day of last year. Why the old man sent me on the errand to figure out where the wonder twins are I shall never know. Perhaps he was drunk. But I have found them. A flying car? And I thought James was a moron when he was here. His son really does take the cake. My tongue is itching to dish out the verbal lashing that is so long overdue. I make it abundantly clear that they will only remain in this school over my dead body.
They are still here. I am not dead. Something is dreadfully wrong with this picture.
The Chamber of Secrets is opened? Spectacular. Now I have to clean up Lucius' mess, too. Like he'll tell me the truth, thinking I'm in Dumbledore's pocket. I mean, I am, but that is irrelevant. I suppose that had to be the only reason I got Potter off the hook for petrifying that blasted feline. A moment of weakness, to be sure. But I really do hate that bloody cat.
Have I mentioned I hate working with idiotic people who are under-qualified? A game of Russian Roulette with Lockhart, Potter, Weasley, Granger, and myself sounds like fun. And throw the old man in for good measure.
Potter is a Parselmouth? Wonderful. This is going to ruin my life further. I am not yet sure how, but I have no doubt I shall be proven correct soon enough.
Yes, yes, it has happened. Potter has once again saved the day, and managed to endear himself to the old man and wizarding world at large. And obliterated Lockhart's memory – 5 points to Gryffindor. And pissed off Lucius – 5 points from Gryffindor. Not because I don't want to piss off Lucius, but because now mine and Potter's lives are going to be filled with grief caused by Malfoy. He'll complain even more incessantly to me and try to find a way to kill Potter before the Dark Lord can come back to get him.
Summer cannot come soon enough. And I am reasonably sure my death list for the old man rivals Filch's banned list stuck on his door. I am inwardly dejected that the cat was cured.