Thicken the Plot

They dined on mince, and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon; And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon.

~Edward Lear

Peter, meanwhile, (and the rest of the court) was sitting at the dinner table in the Great Hall, urgently texting Lucy. He didn't like dinner to be postponed.

The door at the end of the Great Hall opened and Peter saw Martin the Centaur slip through, trying to be as small as possible. A distinct smell of perfume followed him to his place at the end of the table. 443, from her place under the table, knew at once that her Martin the Centaur detector had worked as planned.

Corin, Crown Prince of Archenland was sitting next to Peter, thumping and humming to the Swaying Trees Narnia Jazzband that he had uploaded onto his iPod. He was in Narnia for the yearly flying machine show held outside of the castle. Each year, flying horses, birds, bats, dragons and griffons competed against a pedal airplane that had been built by the flying squirrels. Corin had found that the pedal airplane was made of recycled milk cartons and was run by a dismantled bicycle. It normally required one to pedal very hard and get very red in the face before one went anywhere at all. One year it had ended in tragedy; the dragon had coughed in midflight and the poor pedal airplane (the Spirit of Cair Paravel I believe) had melted away as surely as Icarus' wings. Fortunately, the flying squirrels were able to glide to safely.

Peter glanced down and saw at once that a text had just come in.

"It's from Edmund!" he exclaimed.

'Peter! This is Edmund!

I-am-so-mad!

Lucy, that little beast!

Do you know what she did? She maliciously had one of her people dress up as a Mary Sue and go after me at that ball! I vented my rage by hiring a Gary Stu, so she could get a taste of her own medicine. I hope she likes it.

I'm coming home, but I won't speak to Lu. Mudgloom has done wonders for my rage.

I am even more upset because Susan HAS ACTUALLY FALLEN FOR THAT RABID BEAST! She came to the marshwiggles to convince me to go to Tashbaan with her, I said I wouldn't, but I probably have to. It will lead to something bad, mark my words! She'll realize what Rabadash really is, I hope. Maybe you can order her not to go; I seem to have no sway.

Both my sisters have plummeted in my esteem.

Edmund the Angry

Sent From My Purple Paisley Pattern iPhone'

"Poor Ed!" Peter said, half grinning. Sobering, he glanced up thinking about Rabadash. How could Susan have fallen for him? Was it some sort of joke? Just then, the doors to the throne room opened again and Susan and Lucy came through. He beckoned them and they hurried over.

"I just heard from Edmund, he's at the marshwiggles."

"Oh," Susan said.

"Why is he there?" Lucy asked.

"He says you hired a Mary Su-"

"I…oh," Lucy said. "I was doing it to protect him!" she leaned closer, "from the girls at court!"

"Well, he's sore about it, Lucy."

"I'm awfully sorry…I won't do it again," Lucy said.

"I wonder if he knows where my new snowmobile is?" Peter mused.

"What snowmobile?" Susan asked.

"My snowmobile with the super-fast reindeer King Lune gave me for my birthday…it's gone missing."

Susan shrugged, "I prefer magic carpets, myself."

"I like horses," Lucy said.

"I like dragon drawn chariots," Lord Peridan said walking past, laden with food. He put his plate down on the table and sat next to Lucy. "Boy, It's hot in here, can someone turn on the A/C?"

"Anyhow," Peter said and hurriedly texted Edmund back.

'Ed, Calm down! One would think that the world is ending.

I'm sure she meant well...wait, that was a disguise? It was jolly well done. That wasn't necessarily Lucy's motive; she may have had a good reason for what she did.

You sent the Stu? Ed, how could you? I had to leave in the middle of a meeting with Lune to rescue Lucy. Oh, by the way, have you got my new Snow Mobile?

I am glad you are coming home; we have much to discuss where Su and the prince of Calormen are concerned. I'm sorry Ed; I can't order Su to do anything.

Lu is very sorry about having upset you. She promises it will not happen again.

Love,

Peter

Sent from my manly red-and-gold iPhone, serviced by Lion Communications, Inc.'

Almost at once, Edmund texted back.

'Maybe it is.

I've just heard some very disturbing news pertaining to Ettinsmoor. I'll tell you about it when I arrive.

A good reason? I wish she'd just stay out of my business.

I still think it served her right.

Yes, I had your snow mobile. Sadly it fell into a canyon and is now an odd assortment of nuts and bolts...don't be mad, I still have the reindeer, and I will get you a new one! By the by, do you have to have a license to drive that thing?

Ed,

PS: I wish we could somehow lock Susan in her room until this all blows over.

Sent From My Purple Paisley Pattern iPhone'

Dinner was just starting and Peter hated missing out, but he rattled out a reply anyway. The venison and French fries could wait.

'Blast.

Blast.

Just try to ignore it.

Blast!

P.

Not a chance.

Try to hurry, please.

Sent from my manly red-and-gold iPhone, serviced by Lion Communications, Inc.'

A moment later, just as Peter was raising a forkful of venison to his lips, Edmund texted back.

'I'm... coming, I…happen... to ...be... typing ...this ..while ..cantering... to... the... castle...very...bumpy...!

Sent From My Purple Paisley Pattern iPhone'

Peter read it once, then twice and scratching his head, texted back.

'Where'd you get a purple paisley pattern iPhone? I thought you had a Mybirch.

Sent from my manly red-and-gold iPhone, serviced by Lion Communications, Inc.'

"Is Edmund coming back?" Susan asked anxiously. "I want to talk to him about something."

"He's on his way." Peter said, pulling his iPhone out again and reading a new message from Edmund.

'Rabid dropped it last week. Finder's keepers.

Sent From My Purple Paisley Pattern iPhone'

~o*o~

Peter was digging into dinner with gusto when he began to feel light headed. The room was beginning to whirl in great pink arcs. He saw Susan's face, grotesquely out of proportion. Lucy's nose seemed to be where her mouth normally was. Martin the centaur appeared to have a man's body at both ends.

The next moment, Peter, the High King of all Narnia, was out on the floor.

~o*o~

Susan stared in shock as Peter's chair went over backwards and hit the floor with a crash. Everybody was on everybody else's feet in a moment and there was a general cry of consternation as the High King thrashed about on the floor, a bright pink froth at his mouth. The next moment, he sat up, leered at everybody and scrabbled to his feet. He walked headlong into the nearest footman and only due to the latter's heroic efforts was the High King kept on his extremely unstable feet.

"Happy birthday!" Peter exclaimed giggling. Then he paused as his eyesight grew a shade clearer. "It's not your birthday!" he said pointing at the footman, "It's mine! How dare you say it's anybody…anybody…any…" He paused. "Was I saying something?"

"No Peter dear," Susan said taking a hold of his elbow, then clutched at him as he nearly fell on her, "I think you'd better go to bed."

"But it's my birthday!" Peter said and hiccuped.

"It's already been your birthday, Peter," Susan said firmly, then turned to the footman, "Do open the door, will you?"

~o*o~

A stunned silence followed the unceremonious exit of the High King and Queen Susan. Then everybody was at it hammer and tongs.

Corin had pulled the earphones out of his ears the moment Peter's chair had gone over and now, he was hard at work searching for clues. Then he saw it. A pink crust on the rim of Peter's birch beer glass.

"I think someone tried to poison him!" Corin cried, aghast. Nobody heard him. He paused, struck by this, "Gee, I wish it had been me!"

Lucy, meanwhile, was texting 443. She received a reply almost immediately.

'Out of office reply.

Sent From My Transitfone.'

A/N: Thank you all for your reviews! This story is not based on Pop in Time, rather the other way around. Narnia Recycled has been in the works for three years and definitely has a life of its own. (:

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~Rose and Psyche