Words- Chapter One- The Beginning of the End

Mal Fallon

Staring at it made my heart pound.

My vision get blurry.

My legs shake.

I could have fallen over.

But… I'm pretty sure I was sitting.

I shut my eyes- only for a second. Maybe it was because I didn't want to look at it anymore. Or maybe it was because I couldn't believe it. Anymore.

I re-opened my lids slowly, thoroughly analyzing what I walked into this morning. An invitation. On my desk.

Please join us in the joining of two, smitten hearts.

Mr. & Mrs. Oscar Santos

April 24th, 2012

Emerald Hill Chapel

After releasing a deep intake of air, that was pent up inside of me for who really knows how long, I began to hate Oscar further. 'Please Join us in the joining of two, smitten hearts'. Cheesy, much? 'Mr. & Mrs. Oscar Santos'. Really? You couldn't stoop as low as to put her real legal name on the invite?

Maybe I was just angry.

Maybe Oscar wasn't such a horrible guy, after all.

In reality, I didn't know what the deal was. Maybe it was just the truth, and I couldn't deal with how much it stung.

After gaining composure, I looked up, where I heard a pair of heels click up to my doorway. Standing there, between myself and the bullpen. There she was. "Morning, Partner… You like them?"

I stood confused for a second, hoping she wasn't referring to the elegantly crafted wedding invitation in the middle of my desk. "Do I like what?"

"The invites…." She spoke softly, stepping into my tiny office.

Natara never liked people to hear her. I mean, she did. She wanted people to listen to her. But if possible, she'd want every conversation as intimate as possible. Especially her conversations with myself. Her best friend. And her work partner.

I didn't know whether to be honest. Or to lie. Sometimes, as bad as it is, lying sounds better. "They're great, Natara. I'm happy for you."

She sighed, stepping past me and to the window. The blinds were pretty much stapled shut, not permitting even a centimeter of sunlight. She changed that, though. Natara always did. "You know… you always say that. But honestly.. You are, right?"

No. No. I definitely wasn't. "Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

I could think of a few reasons.

To begin, my best friend was getting married. Aside from her being the only person that I really trust anymore, she was always somebody I relied on. I've saved her life more times that I could count. And I'd do it a thousand times more. As she would for me. But I knew that. And if push came to shove, I'd take a bullet for her.

She knew that, too.

What she didn't know, was how I really felt. Or maybe she did. If she didn't by now, I don't know how she made it as an FBI profiler for this long….

But either way, it was something we never talked about. And I had a feeling we never would. Ever.

This tiny, white, with the letters engraved in gold, wedding invitation, further proved that.

"I don't know. You just don't really talk to me anymore. I would hate to think it was because of Oscar. I know he's a little… rough around the edges…"

I laughed, mentally of course. Natara Williams. Queen of understating.

She continued, focusing on something outside, far in the distance. Her eyebrows scrunched. I couldn't really see much of her face. But something told me she looked gorgeous. She always did.

Honestly.

"Mal, how come you aren't saying anything?"

I sighed. Think, Mal. Think of a plausible reason. "I guess.. I g-guess I'm just stressed out right now. It's just a hard day."

That was a plausible reason. But it wasn't a good reason.

Natara, being not only my best friend, but one of the sweetest, most kind-hearted people I knew, she left her place over by the window, and went behind me.

The scent of her perfume was intoxicating. Even more so was her delicate fingers. They traced soft lines along my back and found their grip on my shoulder blades. "You need to relax…" She whispered. "San Francisco needs you to relax."

She massaged my shoulders lightly, but rough enough to release all of the tension in them.

But the worst part- as soon as she let go of me, I was going to feel bad again.

Maybe it was just the mornings. I wasn't ever a morning person. I relaxed deep into my chair, letting Natara continue to massage away all of the tension from my upper back. "Mmmm…Thank you. That feels…"

She giggled, and my heart began to race. "Amazing? I know."

As I expected, I felt empty after she let go. "Better? Ready to take on the day?"

I sighed. "As ready as I'll ever be."

My back muscles made a popping noise as I stood up. I straightened my clothes as I headed out towards the bullpen. Natara lead, and I followed. But before I left, I needed to clear the clutter. "I'll meet you in a minute, okay?"

She nodded, and left my side. After she was out of sight, I gripped that stupid invitation, and let it meet the trash bin underneath my metal desk.

"Now, I'm better."

Twenty-Four Hours later

San Francisco Police Department

Incident reports became my primary focus. And it was refreshing. To be able to focus on my work. Lately, I just couldn't.

As I finished one, and then another, and then one more. My clock hit eight.

I finished another, and then another. And then one more.

On the next one, I almost finished. But then. A light knocking disrupted my focus. I snapped into reality. I could tell by the knock alone who it was. And before I could even reply, she slipped in through a crack in the door.

"I brought you a coffee…" She started with. "The coffee here is disgusting. We both know that."

I chuckled. "That's too true… how's your stack of paperwork coming?"

She made her way across the room to where I was, setting my pile aside, and making my desk her new seat. I laughed at that. She always did that. "It's not. I wish I could say my pile was lighter than yours…"

I laughed. I couldn't help but look at her. Because as always, she looked absolutely beautiful. "Rough day?" I asked.

She nodded. Her face changed. I saw sadness. And whenever I saw that look on her face, I got angry. Angry at whoever caused it. She shrugged her shoulders and locked her eyes with me. "Mal, I'm tired. I want to sleep. Forever."

I stood up, approaching her. "Don't say that. Relax, just for a minute… Come here."

I gently took her hands, leading her to the chair. She giggled a little. "My turn?"

I smiled, and began to message her shoulders. Her head went back against my stomach. And the moment- it was incredible.

I decided it wasn't going to be short-lived. My fingers traced their way delicately down her arms gripping the muscles, and releasing them. I heard a soft moan escape her lips. "Mal…" followed it.

It was something I would love to get used to.

In a perfect world.

Natara even allowed me to slowly remove her dark blazer jacket, and continue to massage her shoulder blades. The black, thin strap of her bra came through her white tank top. God, how I wanted to just take everything off.

Stop it, Mal. She's almost married.

Almost. But not yet.

My fingers accidentally brushed her tank top strap off her shoulder, where it rested on her arm. Her bra strap followed.

Surprisingly, she still sat idly, letting me massage her.

Quiet moans escaped her for a couple of minutes, and I thought that maybe she was even sleeping.

Maybe Natara wasn't actually mine. But she was my everything.

And maybe she was in love with Oscar. But she wasn't in love with him.

Every opportunity to show her how much better than him I was, I took advantage of. Between moments like this, when I was simply being her friend, helping her relax. Or moments when we were in life or death situations, where I showed her that I would give my life for her.

Either way, she pretended she had no idea.

Suddenly, she shifted forward, resting her head and arms on my desk, hinting that I should massage more of her back. And I began to.

I noticed all of the beautiful curves of her back. She was thin. But she was muscular. But not too muscular. Tiny freckles covered her back. They almost blended in with her naturally dark skin. A small smile tugged at her lips. I knew this was so inappropriate. And if the Captain walked in, Natara and I would both get pegged for sexual harassment or something.

Too bad it isn't harassment if it's wanted.

I noticed where her bra hooked together, and how incredibly easy they make those things to undo. I sighed. Control yourself, Mal. Keep the snake in its cage.

But the soft moans continued. "Mal… that feels so amazing." She mumbled.

Her voice got louder.

"Seriously. Don't stop."

I didn't stop.

My fingers traced light circles around her lower back. And before I could even stop my hands, they found their way in front of her. On her tiny stomach.

She still hasn't stopped me yet.

My hands slowly, very cautiously, went further up. Aiming for her chest.

The soft moans continued. And she still didn't stop me.

I continued lifting my hands further up her stomach.

She hasn't stopped me yet.

I was almost there, my destination. A destination where there wasn't any turning back.

And then.

Just then.

Her cell phone rang.

I thought that maybe, just maybe. She might ignore it.

But she didn't

I sighed in disbelief, beyond angry that she answered it, especially considering who it was on the other end. "Oscar. I'm at work. What's up?"

I immediately backed away from her, adjusting my perceptions back to reality.

Deciding I needed to separate myself from the situation, I walked towards the bullpen. I'd rather deal with all that out there than the Natara-Oscar scenario.

The only thing I could do was grab a fresh brew and and try to relax a little. But on the way to the break room, I decided I needed to check my mailbox.

I'm not sure why.

I hadn't looked in nearly a month.

It was just something to do.

I fished through the various paper ads that were in there, examining only the good coupons for food. There was one for Marco's Pizza and Wings. Take one dollar off any order that includes their new Garlic Wings. I nodded and considered that. "Damn, I must be hungry. I threw almost everything else away.

I tucked the coupon into my wallet, and then continued going through the last remaining pieces of mail.

I stumbled on the tiniest, little piece. The last piece. A little note folded in half- like a fortune from a fortune cookie.

I glaced around the room quickly, suspiciously.

My fingers traced the outline of it.

I peeled it open.

My jaw hit the floor.

liar.