Part Two
I am astounded by the whole floor District ten have. My room is huge, and I can order food whenever I want. You can sink into the armchairs and there are huge windows looking over the skyline of the Capitol.
On the morning of the first of the three days of training, we talk tactics. I tell Melanie and Grant that I can do hand-to-hand combat. They tell me I can do that for when I am put in front of the Gamemakers, but I have to appear weak when with the other tributes. I decide I will take my father's advice and practise with another weapon, like a knife. Howard says that he doesn't have anything that he is good at.
Just before we go down to the gymnasium, Melanie hands me a pile of survival guides. I thank her and set them down in my room.
So, for those three days I keep to myself. I learn some skills with a knife and practise throwing with them so I can throw on target almost every time. I feel proud of myself for that tiny achievement, but I am known as being a very determined person so if I want to get something right, and I don't stop until I can do it. I sit and learn different plants and how to gather fruit and vegetables. I tie knots and I learn how to make a shelter. By the end of our training time on the third day, I feel slightly more prepared.
However, I start to question why I am doing this. Is this really what I want? To kill other children for my own chance at living? I only have two more nights before I enter the arena and become something I've never wanted to become. Maybe it's not necessary to do this. I don't have to kill anybody. I don't have to participate in this monstrosity.
It's time for me to enter the gymnasium and attempt to impress the Gamemakers. What should I do? Should I try my hardest? Or just give up now?
I walk through the doors. "Aurelia Iverson, District Ten," I say to the Gamemakers.
I pick up a knife and throw it at a target. It almost hits the bullseye. I try again. Once more, and it hits dead in the middle. The practise has paid off. I shadow-box, showing my power and my agility in my kicks and punches. I leave.
At dinner, Melanie asks me how it went.
"Ok," I reply. "I didn't do much."
We sit down together and watch the results. Obviously, all the Careers get at least a nine, and one even gets an eleven. After waiting for what seems like an age, my picture is presented on the screen and a number seven flashes next to it. I shrug. Not too bad. I wasn't particularly memorable but I don't find much use in getting sponsors anymore. Those short thoughts before I went in gave me the realisation that I shouldn't be doing this.
The next day, I am taken by Melanie while Howard is taken by Grant to be trained for our interviews tomorrow night. Melanie and I talk for a while so she can get to know me and think of an 'angle'. I struggle to think of an angle for myself - I am not particularly interesting.
"I was going to say compassionate, after the reaping with you and your boyfriend, but that's not going to get you very far in the Games," she says, partly talking to herself.
I cringe. I completely forgot that people would have seen me and Nicholas together, and then my mind drifts to my father and I can only imagine what he was saying. Of course, Melanie is right: nobody is going to care much for a girl that cares about everything.
"I know!" Melanie exclaims. "Let's play on smart. One of your first questions was if you could read books and you seem to know what you're doing." She looks at me expectantly.
I smile. "That sounds good," I say.
She then teaches me how to answer questions well, and then we are done. However, I catch her before she leaves. She turns. "I know you can take a token into the arena," I say. I dig into my pocket and bring out my small wooden ball. It lies in my palm. "Please can I take this?"
She picks it up and smiles at me. "Of course. I'm going to have to hand it in to be inspected though - just a precaution that it's not some sort of weapon - but you should have it back by tomorrow morning."
I smile at her.
After Melanie mentioned Nicholas today, I miss him even more. I try to get some sleep. My hand feels empty without the ball there. I have gripped onto it so tightly for the past few days because it feels like the last piece of home and Nicholas with me, but now I don't have it I feel incomplete. At least I will get it back in the morning. Just thinking about home and my family makes a tear roll down my cheek. Again, I result in imagining Nicholas was here, holding me close, making sure nothing happens to me. I don't know how I'm going to deal with actually being in the arena.
The day before the The Hunger Games begin is the day of our interviews. Melanie gave me back my token, and now I feel slightly more comforted again. Nerissa and the prep team who tortured me a few days ago spend the day preening my hair (in a similar fashion to how I had it for the opening ceremonies, except two strands from either side which have been pinned back) painting my nails in a glittery silver colour, and applying masses of makeup to my face which I'm sure is unnecessary but for some reason I trust Nerissa anyway. She knows what she's doing, even if she looks like a freak show herself. She slips a glittery silver dress over me. It is strapless and cinches in at the waist, and the light fabric floats down to the floor. It's beautiful. My face doesn't look as heavily made-up as I thought it would - instead it just adds a glimmer to my features and accentuates them. I am put in some heels, and I have to practise walking in them a lot before I leave. At least I can feel confident that I won't look ridiculous. In fact, I look fantastic. I can't stop staring at my reflection.
When we do leave our floor of the Training Center, I stand next to Howard, with the District 11 tributes behind us and 9 in front of us. When we walk onto the stage, I take my seat. I still have that ball in my hand. I look down at it. For the first few interviews I am too nervous to even look up at the intimidating Capitol crowd. I don't even want to think about the cameras that are broadcasting this all over Panem, but I can't help myself. Right now, my family will be watching this. I finally pluck up the courage to look around me. There are flashes of cameras and every now and then there is laughter or applause from the audience. I don't want to think about their reactions to every death they witness on their TV screens.
Right now the District 4 boy is being interviewed, talking about his home, near the sea. He compliments the people of the Capitol often and he smiles a lot: it seems he is trying to be charming, and it is most definitely working. Caesar Flickerman asks him about his eleven. So that's who it was. I watch the rest of the tributes go up one by one, until the boy from 9 is being interviewed - I'm next. I twiddle the ball around in my fingers.
"Aurelia Iverson from District 10!" I hear Caesar introduce. The exclamation in a Capitol accent reminds me too much of Urzula. I have to stop myself from getting emotional for a second, and then I take a deep breath, stand up and make my way to the chair, waving and smiling at the crowd as I go. I greet Caesar and sit down. "Hello, Aurelia! How are you?" says Caesar.
"Hi," I say. And how am I? Apart from being sent into an arena to be killed like a lamb for slaughter tomorrow, I'm absolutely fine. "I'm fine, thanks."
"So, Aurelia, we all saw you at the reaping. With a boy!" he says jokingly, including the audience in with the joke. They laugh. "So, who was that special guy?"
"That's my boyfriend, Nicholas," I say. I know I am not making a very good impression. Easily forgettable.
"What's he like?" he asks. He is trying to help me seem a bit more interesting, which is a comfort.
I smile. "He's very caring, and just really nice. He was really upset to see me go," I tell him, as if I was confiding in a friend. All the way through I have been playing with the wooden ball.
Caesar looks down at my hand. "What's that?" he asks.
"Oh, um…" I fumble with my words now. "In District Ten, we have this thing where we give a token to our love. I gave this to Nicholas a little while ago but he gave it back to me the last time we saw each other. I like to hold onto it. It makes me feel safe and… like he's here with me."
There are a number of 'aw's emanating from the crowd. I blush.
"That's very sweet," Caesar says. He pats my hand comfortingly. "So, how have you been preparing for the Games?"
"I've been reading a lot of survival books," I say. Some of the crowd laugh.
And then my time is up.
I find it very hard to sleep that night, knowing I face the beginning of my death tomorrow. I toss and turn for hours. I cry and I scream, rolling in my bed, wishing that I wasn't here. That I am back home in District Ten, going to bed after dinner with my family, laughing with my brother and sister. I lie on the floor in fetal position, with the wooden ball in my hand and hugging a pillow close to me.
There is a knock on the door, and then I can hear somebody walking towards me.
"Aurelia?" asks Melanie, concerned. Perhaps she should be more concerned that I am about to be entered into a sick game of murder. She sits next to me, and pulls me up so I am leaning on her. She wraps her arms around me.
After around five minutes, I can compose myself enough to speak. "I want to go home," I say.
I look up at her. A tear of her own rolls down her cheek. I can only imagine what it must be like, having to coach children that are most likely only going to die, and partly because of them.
She doesn't say anything.