Batman stalked down the Watchtower's hallway. It was the kind of walk that shook the ground, if the ground hadn't been doing its utmost to stay silent for fear of retribution. He didn't want to be here. Today of all days he had better things to do, pacing for instance, and brooding, and sweating, and general angst. Not fear of course, the Batman didn't do fear. In theory.
He was still here early. Whenever there was a mandatory meeting he was here early, watching, always watching. He slid into his favourite shadow. When he'd built the Watchtower he'd engineered these shadowy corners into it, his own private Watchtower.
The Big Blue Idiot showed up first talking casually with J'onn, "I just don't understand what Luthor's problem is," he complained.
"The man harbours an irrational hate for you."
Superman raised his hands in the air, "but that's ridiculous, I in no way interfered with any of his work with LexCorp. I only got involved once he started all this criminal business. I have no interest in competing with him."
Batman rolled his eyes under the cowl, Superman was ever the optimist, ever the idiot, ever the powerful, ever the consummate good guy. It was almost a little nauseating sometimes. J'onn on the other hand was consistent, was the neutral ground, passive. He rolled with the punches in a way Batman knew he never could, The Batman needed control.
A third voice joined the conversation and Batman's head seemed to turn of its own regard, "Kal, the man considers your mere existence tantamount to a challenge." Diana said coming around the corner.
"It's still ridiculous," The Kryptonian said.
"Perhaps," responded the Princess, "but I've found that to be a common theme with most men."
Batman's cheeks quivered slightly in an imperceptible smirk knowing that it was common theme for most of existence, not just men. Then the smirk was wiped off his face as Diana put a comforting hand on Superman's shoulder and left it there while the conversation continued.
All observation forgotten for a reason he couldn't quite explain, Batman rose like a wraith from the shadows surprising even those with super senses.
"Batman," Diana said while J'onn nodded.
Batman swept past them, conveniently passing between Superman and Wonder Woman causing her to drop her arm.
"How long have you been there?" Superman asked.
"Long enough," came the gruff reply, "Meeting now, I'm busy." He turned the corner, his cape swishing behind him.
"You didn't know he was there?" Diana asked.
Superman shrugged, looking irritated, "I never know when he's there. He just pops up." They had just made it into the conference room when Flash zoomed past them, "Made it with ten seconds to spare!"
The Speedster stopped stunned, "Bats! You're here - " He stopped at the look he received, "I mean Batman, Batman! You're here! I didn't think -" The glare didn't stop. "I'll just be quiet now."
They took their seats. Batman noticed that when John and Shayara walked in her face lite up while his fell. Then John passed her a fifty which was taken with grim satisfaction. Some kind of bet obviously.
Superman as chair starting talking and Batman made a mental note to add 'boring speeches' to Superman's list of powers, one never knew when they may have to put a crazy villain to sleep. Batman directed his attention to the monitors in the room. He'd placed his chair at the perfect spot on the table. From this spot he could see the monitors, the window, the door and all of his teammates without moving his head. A benefit of the cowl, no-one knew where he was looking or not looking.
His eyes performed their usual sweep of the room. First to the window, nothing that he could see. Move to the monitors, currently quiet. Move to the door, more of a habit than actually expecting anyone to just stroll through it. Back to Superman, still talking. Wally, nonstop fidgeting. J'onn, actually appeared to be paying attention. Back to Superman, still talking. John, trying to pay attention but mostly failing, obviously a little bitter about losing the fifty bucks. Shayara, looked like the cat that ate the canary, fingers locked around her mace, which was unusual. Batman shifted slightly in his seat, going into a more defensive stance just in case.
Back to Superman, still talking. His eyes finally moved to Diana and his Bat-willpower kept his eyes firmly above her collarbone. She was nervous, her muscles coiled tight. Her eyes flitted to his face and then back to Superman. Batman's eyebrow quirked under the cowl, she wasn't an eye flitting kind of person. She stared at you or she didn't look at you, there was no middle ground for a Princess.
"Batman," Superman's voice called. He turned his head in that direction. "What do you think?" Superman asked.
Batman said nothing. He just stared at the Man of Steel until he cracked and repeated, "Would you be willing to train with members of the league to brush them up on their hand to hand combat?"
"No"
Superman frowned, "Then you retract your previous statement that and I quote, 'you all fight like superpowered five year olds.'"
"No"
"Then how do you propose we remedy this situation?"
"Train."
J'onn joined, "Unfortunately we lack the time necessary to train ourselves and we can't risk the security of bringing an outsider onto the Watchtower."
"I'm busy"
"Come on Bats!" Flash said, "we're all busy."
"No, you're not." Batman put emphasis on the 'you're'.
Wonder Woman stood up commanding his attention, "Batman we as a team have had enough of your solo act. It's juvenile, self-serving and counterproductive. You insist on insulting our abilities and then refuse to propose any decent way of remedying the situation." She leaned forward and locked eyes with the cowl as best she could. "Stop being such a man."
He leaned forward too, "That would be difficult Princess." The title stung worse than a blow. The tension hung in the air for a minute until Superman tried to cut it.
"Batman, we respect your different way of dealing with what we do," Superman shot a glance at Wonder Woman, "but at the same time you need to recognize that we're a family and families are about take AND give."
"Family," the word was thrown out with disdain, "I've already got more family than I want, I certainly don't need you too."
His words hung in the air. The other six had stunned looks on their faces with various mixes of hurt and betrayal. Batman continued, "I don't need family. I don't want family. Family is counterproductive to what we do. Besides I'm only a part timer remember? You all be a family, I'll be the hobo living in the back alley. Alone."
He made to get up but two fists and mace crashing into the table stopped his progression.
Shayara got words out first, "Alone? You think you're alone. You're sitting at a table with two exiles and two beings who are the last members of an entire planet. I'll bet that you go home every night to apple pie with Pa and Ma Batman. Try betraying an entire planet of warriors, try everyone on the planet you betrayed them for hating your guts. That's alone. So don't you dare not call this a family, because if it's not, most of us don't have one."
Diana cut her off, removing a fist from the table and pointing it at Batman, "You arrogant, self-centered, son of Aries." Flash looked afraid for Batman. "Everyone needs family. Family is a blessing. It means being able to trust someone completely and we need to trust each other or we will die. You can never have too much family. I would give anything to be reunited with my mother, with my sisters and you, you, you scorn yours. You're right, you're not part of this family Batman. You'd have to actually trust people, get to know them to be a family." Diana went to slam her fist into table again but Superman's hand got in the way. It was still lying from where he too had slammed the table.
Superman sucked air in through his nose, ignoring the pain ready to blast Batman too but was cut off by the man himself.
"Unnecessary," Batman said.
It was the last thing any of them expected, "What?" asked Superman instead of his prepared rant.
"I don't need to get to know you. I know you better than you know each other. And as for trust, that's laughable, there's a distinct lack of trust at this table."
"Yeah and it's wearing black and likes to brood," Flash muttered.
Superman was ready, "You're never here unless there's a battle or a meeting, I doubt you know us beyond our powers. And as for trust, I trust everyone here with my life."
The slits on the cowl narrowed, "but not with your secret identity."
Superman faltered, "well, that's, it's, well."
Batman didn't falter, "Trust means trust in everything, telling someone everything about you, you keep half of your life hidden from your 'family'".
This wasn't sitting well with Flash so he spoke up, "I'll tell everyone my secret identity Bats, if you'll lighten up a little."
They stared at him for a solid minute. Finally Batman said, "I already know. I told you, I know everything about you, about all of you."
"What?" Flash was indignant, "how would you know that? I'm careful."
"It took about half an hour," Batman was unrepentant, "Superman took twenty minutes."
"You know my… Of course you do. I might as well tell everyone now." Superman was angry, "The World's Greatest Detective can't be trusting people to be who they say they are now can we."
Flash had a thought, "How do we know you're telling the truth? You could just be lying to look all bad-ass and everything, I don't think that you actually…"
Batman cut him off, "You trust each other? You're a family? Fine." He stood,
"J'onn owns a 40% share in Oreos. He hates peanut butter and watches Mars every time it passes by the window. He built a monument to his family in the Australian Outback because it reminds him of home and he visits every second Thursday.
John sleeps with a fluffy brown teddy bear that he's had since he was three. Nothing scares him more than his Aunt Marge. He hasn't had a date in just under a year. He stores his lantern battery in a pocket dimension in the far left corner of his apartment."
They couldn't have stopped him if they wanted to, in fact the six sat in a mingle of shock, horror and admiration. Batman continued,
"Shayara talks in her sleep. She doesn't miss Thanagar near as much as she thought she would although she does miss the alcohol. She overcompensates with her mace. She's claustrophobic and has a secret irrational fear of spiders.
The Flash's real name is Wally West. He's a redhead. He works as a forensic investigator. He just got a new girlfriend but he's worried that being a superhero is going to mess it up again. If he reads anything at super speed he can't remember it.
Diana sneaks off to the training room every night at one and practices Amazon fighting techniques because she's afraid she's going to forget home. She cries in her sleep. She's developing an addiction to iced mochas and soap operas. She wonders if she should still be wearing the Amazon armour or not but can't bear to part with it. She's one of our best and worst fighters. She uses peach shampoo and did a modeling add once because she needed the money to fund a children's shelter.
Superman was raised on a small farm in Kansas. He actually flies home every weekend to have apple pie with Pa and Ma Kent. His real name is Kal-El and his real parents are Jor-El and Lara. His adopted name is Clark Kent, parents Jonathan and Martha. He's a reporter for the Daily Planet and is pining over Lois Lane." Batman stopped to breathe, "Don't think that I don't know you."
"You have no right-" Diana started.
"To what?" Batman asked, "to do research? To ask questions? You don't want people to know about something hide it better. Or did I have no right to tell everyone that? You trust each other remember, you're a family," Batman's voice leaked sarcasm, "Besides Kent and West just said that they might as well tell everyone their identity."
Batman got up to leave and no-one stopped him until he was almost out the door. Flash was standing in his way, "Fine Bats," he said. His usually smiling face frowning, "Turn-about is fair play, who are you under the cowl." He reached out a hand to flick it back but Batman somehow grabbed the fastest man's hand.
"Turnabout would be you figuring it out yourself." Batman growled, "I've got things to do." He stalked out the room, than his voice echoed behind him, "You want me to train you? Fine. Tuesday, Training Room, The Princess and I"