Late that night, Shinji woke up in a cold sweat. Instantly he tried to recall what it was he had been dreaming about, but it was all gone.
Why did he keep waking up like this? Why couldn't he sleep? For the first time in a long time, he had made a friend, and he felt…genuinely…happy.
"I'm such a coward…" he whispered hopelessly. Then he looked over at his phone. The tiny screen glowed and stated:
'No missed calls, no new messages.'
He sighed and went back to bed.
The next morning both Asuka and Shinji struggled to wake Misato up. They finally poured beer all over her face, which sent her into a rage. At least then she was awake, they both said, though they had to listen to her complain for the next hour and a half.
They picked up Kaworu and Misato explained that Rei, Kensuke, and Toji would not be joining them. Toji was at the hospital with his sister while no one could seem to find Kensuke. Rei was feeling ill again.
"Too bad they couldn't come and take advantage of the grand opening offer." Misato sighed. "Oh well, at least one of us will be free."
"May I sit in the back with Shinji kun?" Kaworu asked Asuka. She glared at him as she moved up to the front seat, but once she had done so, she seemed in a better mood as she gossiped with Misato about Kaji. Shinji sat on the farthest end of the seat, practically smashing his body against the door. Kaworu did notice, but he made no mention of it.
"How did you sleep, Shinji kun?"
"Oh, um…"
"That reminds me, I heard you yelling in your sleep, Shinji baka. You better quit that or am I gonna have to come in there and beat it out of you?"
Shinji groaned. "Gomen, Asuka. I can't help it."
"You better help it or I'll help you!"
"Hey now, settle down." Misato said. "Let's try and have fun today."
There was silence after that. The dull heat of the sun shining on him and the rhythmic movement of the car caused Shinji to drift off…
When he awoke, the car had stopped. Misato and Asuka were out of the car, registering at the front desk of the spa. His head was resting on Kaworu's shoulder.
He shot upright and practically leapt to the other side of the car.
"K-Kaworu kun! I'm sorry. I must have fallen asleep…"
"It's alright, Shinji kun. "Kaworu said as he smiled. "We're friends. It didn't bother me at all."
"H-hai…" the boy said shamefully. Kaworu exited the car then and Shinji followed, but not after cursing and calling himself an imbecile.
Misato and Asuka waved as they headed off towards the girls' section, while the two boys went to their section. They changed clothes in separate rooms - by the time Shinji came out into the pool area Kaworu was already in the water. Awkwardly he took of his towel, facing away from Kaworu, and lowered himself into the water.
The moment the water touched his skin, he relaxed.
"This is nice…" he said, his word practically melting in his mouth.
"Are you always alone like this when you all go to a hot spring?" Kaworu asked with a playful grin.
Shinji nodded shyly. "Sometimes Misato brings Pen-Pen," he answered. "But I think she called here beforehand and they said penguins aren't allowed."
"A penguin who likes hot springs…." Kaworu mused. "I don't believe I've ever heard of that."
Shinji grinned nervously. Kaworu's smile faded slightly as he looked directly at him.
"You never did tell me if you slept well or not." he asked politely.
Shinji was surprised a little at the repeat of the question, but a little relieved as well. His eyes fell down to the water.
Just as he was about to open his mouth, a torrent of laughter from the other side of the fence sounded. It might him jump slightly, but then he smiled at Kaworu, who was smiling, too.
"They sound like they're enjoying themselves," he said as he stood up and walked towards him.
"H-hai.…" Shinji replied shyly, obviously staring at the now completely exposed Kaworu as he walked. He kept trying to avert his eyes, but he couldn't.
Kaworu just kept smiling and sat down next to his friend. He put a kind hand on his knee, trying to get him to relax. Instead Shinji only tightened his muscles, letting out a small embarrassing gasp.
Kaworu recoiled a little sadly at the shrink from his touch, but decided to not let it phase him. He rested his arms across the rock wall behind him, scooting even closer to the other boy.
"Please…" he said. "go on."
Shinji smiled nervously, his hands wedged between his knees. But as he looked into those kind red eyes he melted slowly, letting out a deep breath and resting his head back on the rock wall.
"Nightmares." he said bluntly.
"What sort of nightmares?"
"I…I don't know. They just…keep me up all night. They make me so tense I c-can't…can't…"
"Relax?" Kaworu offered.
"…Hai. I…just wish I…I wish I had somebody there that when I woke up at night…they could… you know…help me to go to sleep again."
"You can't go to Misato san? And of course Asuka san…"
Shinji laughed at that one. "Asuka would scream her head off if I so much as knocked on her door."
"Mmm…" Kaworu hummed in dismay. "That does make a problem… is there no one you can call?"
The other boy shook his head quickly.
"Well that will have to change."
A long silence.
"Do you trust me, Shinji kun?"
Shinji did not hesitate in his answer. "Yes. I do very much, Kaworu kun."
"And I trust you. Perhaps you and I…we could be more than friends."
At this the boy jumped, flushing and stuttering. "Wh-what do you mean by that?!?"
Kaworu laughed. "I mean that we could be the best of friends. I would like you to call me when this happens. I'll give you my number when we get home. Maybe…Misato san would let me come over then?"
Shinji looked up happily with a large smile on his face, though a hint of disappointment rang in his voice. "You'd do that…? I-I mean, you'd…want to?"
Kaworu nodded once. "If that would be alright with you, Shinji kun."
"Oh, hai, I would like that a lot, Kowaru kun…" Shinji hurried to answer. "…a whole lot…"
He wanted so badly for Kaworu then to hug him. He didn't know why he felt so desperate…he just had to feel him next to him…feel his breath on his neck- heart to heart- skin on skin. He nervously began to lift his arms out of the water, but Kaworu seemed to read his mind and beat him to it. He wrapped his thin arms around Shinji's back in an embrace deeper than he expected. But Shinji was happy, closing his eyes and wrapping his large hands around the other's middle, completing it.
They held each other for several moments, smelling their sweat and hair mingling.
Suddenly, Shinji felt something pulse under the water. A semi-hardened shaft brushed against his thigh. He gasped and jumped a little, staring down into the misty yet transparent water. He could see Kaworu was feeling something familiar to him - as he too was feeling it.
Both boys looked down and in unison looked back at each other. Shinji shook desperately, confused, biting his lower lip. Kaworu was breathing heavily too.
"Shinji…" he whispered, jerking suddenly towards his face, then pulling back as if deciding something.
Quickly, as if the spell had been broken when he had uttered his name, Shinji let Kaworu go and turned slightly away from him, resting his shaking hands in the water.
"I….I'm afraid…" he whispered breathlessly.
"Don't be afraid." Kaworu whispered back. He turned the other boy to face him again and reached down, where he found his hand and grasped it tightly, raising it up out of the water.
"You see this?" He said, looking at their clasped hands. "You're not alone anymore, Shinji kun. I'm never letting go. Do you feel me shaking?"
"Yes…"
"I'm shaking because I'm afraid too. But I don't have to be afraid, because I'm not alone either. We are here together."
Gently Kaworu leaned toward Shinji's gasping breaths. Both sets of arms intertwined about the other, and the wet, warm kiss was sweet and overwhelming to them both.
The laughter on the other side of the fence and talking drowned out Shinji's quiet moans.
Kaworu smiled wickedly as his hand caressed stomach muscles, thighs, and necks. His kisses trailed down to gingerly touch Shinji's hardened nipples, causing him to practically scream. Quickly Kaworu clamped his hand over Shinji's mouth as he sucked at the little nubs of flesh, spreading his legs apart with his feet.
Shinji's back arched, raising him halfway out of the water to rest on the rock wall behind him, and bringing his now pulsing erection even closer to Kaworu.. Wrapping his arm around the small of his back, Kaworu eagerly grasped the throbbing shaft, pulling at it long and hard. Shinji bit down viciously on Kaworu's fingertips, squirming uncontrollably and grabbing fistfuls of silvery hair.
Before he knew what exactly he meant to do, Kaworu let go of Shinji and grabbed his backside with both hands, ramming his own sex hard against his. Then with one hand he grabbed them both, pulling and pushing on them in rhythm with Shinji's desperate breaths. He sucked on Kaworu's middle finger, wrapping his legs around his waist and groaning.
Shinji's back was getting scratched by the rocks beneath him, but he didn't care. The heat trapped in his belly began to uncoil, the release so close and yet so far. Kaworu pinched a nipple and seized Shinji's mouth with his own, driving his tongue practically down into his throat.
The thrusting each made with their hips grinding against one another made loud splashes, which confused Misato and Asuka, but they paid it no mind. Kaworu began to lower them both back into the water, the thrusting now completely muted. Shinji dug his nails into Kaworu's back, sinking his teeth into his shoulder, while Kaworu whispered over and over Shinji's name until they both came in unison, a blast of passion that sent them both reeling and collapsing against one another.
Quietly they exchanged soft kisses in between deep gasps for air, their skins both bright red and covered in the sticky residue of sweat and ecstasy.
They heard a knock on the fence adjacent to them.
"Hey boys, let's go grab something to eat. We need to get home early since you've got school tomorrow."
For a moment neither of them answered out of exhaustion. Kaworu was the first to speak.
"Hai, Misato san. We'll meet you in the restaurant."
He grabbed Shinji's hand and steadied him as he stood up. Then they walked together to the changing room.
Throughout dinner Shinji was unusually quiet. Kaworu told jokes that amused the girls - the three of them seemed engrossed in their laughter. Even Asuka had forgotten her loathing for Kaworu temporarily as she sipped on her tea and ate her dinner.
Kaworu made no gesture of affection towards Shinji, nor did he hint on anything that had happened between them. It made Shinji feel relieved, as he was still reeling from the whole experience, but at the same time it made him feel afraid.
"Seat belts on?" Misato yelled to the back as they all climbed into the car. Asuka slid hers on with ease, as did Kaworu. Shinji usually never failed to put his on the second he entered Misato's car, considering he was quite familiar with her driving habits. But this time, he had forgotten. His hands began to twitch as he stared at his seat belt buckle. With his heart pounding as hard as it could he decided not to put it on, in case Kaworu asked him to come closer...or he asked him to...or they...they... ...
Shinji swallowed hard and buried his twitching hands between his legs. A long sigh followed from his tired lungs.
The engine started up with a cough and a sputter. Misato and Asuka began talking quickly about dresses and new shopping malls being built and other such things Shinji didn't care to listen to. Kaworu stretched and yawned quietly, resting his arm along the top of the seat. Shinji's eyes glimpsed quickly over at him and again blushed profusely. With wide eyes he stared at the floor as hard as he could, his shoulders hunched over and shivering. Every three seconds or so he took another hard swallow for his dry throat.
As they passed through a tunnel and the overhead lights passed like flashes through the windows, the boy jumped as he was startled by Asuka snapping:
"SHINJI-BAKA! Are you going to barf or something? You look like you're gonna be sick! What's the matter with you?"
He looked up sharply at her, but found his eyes almost immediately darting to Kaworu across from him. The friendly, familiar face was smiling and looking directly at him. Shinji managed a weak smile back and went back to boring holes in the floor.
Asuka squinted and took a good look at Shinji. Then she looked at Misato, who returned a shrug.
"You okay back there, Shinji kun?" Misato asked.
Being relaxed just a little by the sound of Misato's voice, at least compared to Asuka's, he nodded sharply and quickly, whispering, "H-hai, Misato san." Another hard swallow.
But Asuka didn't seem to buy that.
"Well, if you DO throw up," she concluded. "Get out of the car and do it. I don't want the smell making ME sick too."
Shinji's heart sank even lower as he stared sadly out the window. Suddenly, he heard:
"Asuka san, perhaps Shinji kun is just thinking. Surely there are times when in the car you watch the world go by and think about things?"
Shinji looked up. Kaworu was smiling at Asuka. Asuka's face twisted, then she turned back in the front seat and folded her arms across her chest.
"Boys..." she hissed under her breath.
Shinji found himself smiling as he turned to Kaworu, but Kaworu just kept looking strait on, still grinning his calm grin.
Shinji sighed and relaxed a little, letting his back and head hit the back of the seat, his hair tickling the very edges of Kaworu's fingertips. He closed his eyes and rested.
The next time Shinji opened his eyes, he was alarmed to see that it was already nine o'clock. He had slept for an entire hour, and home was not that far off.
The car was stopping at a gas station. The sun was already completely set, and the overhead lights of the metal canopy above the gas pumps gave off a warm glow into the car. He looked about him as Misato parked the car to see Kaworu still staring forward in the same exact position he had been in an hour ago, and Asuka slouching in her seat, playing cat's cradle with some purple string.
At least I didn't fall asleep on Kaworu kun this time… he thought to himself.
"Well, only about twenty minutes left guys, then we'll be home." Misato sighed. "I let you guys slack off this whole week on homework, but its Sunday now, so you better get it done before you get to sleep tonight, okay?"
Asuka groaned a reluctant 'okay' and Shinji simply nodded, staring out of the corner of his eye at Kaworu. He nodded to give Misato an answer so she wouldn't bother him.
As Misato opened the car door, one of her eyes squinted and she ran her fingers through her hair, scratching her head.
"Kaworu kun," she said questioningly.
"Hai, Misato san?" Kaworu replied.
"Its getting kind of late, and your place is all the way on the other side of town..." she whispered to herself. Then, loudly, she continued, "I feel kind of responsible for you, too, and I wouldn't want you walking through your neighborhood all by yourself when I drop you off at this time of night...so why don't you stay with us tonight? You can sleep in Shinji kun's room, if that's okay with both of you."
Kaworu's smile grew even more and he nodded. "Domo Arigato, Misato san. I would like that."
Misato grabbed her purse from under the driver's seat and asked, "Shinji kun, how do you feel about that? Is it okay with you?"
Kaworu grinned at Shinji, asking very softly, "Is it okay, Shinji kun?"
Shinji sat strait up, his eyes shifting from Misato to the floor, and occasionally to Kaworu, who made his very ears start burning red hot. "H-hai, it's alright with me." He answered.
"Good! It's settled. And Kaworu kun, you're always welcome at our house. Now, who could use a snack? I'm buyin'!"
"Me!" Asuka shouted.
"Great! Let's go. We'll be back in a sec, boys."
The two girls hopped out of the car and raced to the gas station's convenience store.
They were now alone in the car.
Shinji had not once felt his cheeks cool the entire car ride, and now he felt them grow even hotter. He wanted to say something. DO something. He felt it only right to somehow let Kaworu know, even in the slightest way, that what they had done at the hot spring had meant something wonderful to him.
Kaworu looked strait ahead out of the front window and kept smiling. His arm was still stretched across the back of the seat, inviting Shinji with silent words to come closer. Shinji could feel his body shaking at the idea - his whole being was melting away into nothing but nervousness and anticipation.
Would Kaworu push him away? Would he get angry? Had it all been some kind of an illusion?
...Perhaps he had not responded enough and now Kaworu thought that he didn't like him. Perhaps he hadn't done things right...perhaps he had offended him somehow...
Or maybe he only wanted that one time, and now he didn't care about Shinji at all. Maybe what he had said in the spring was...a lie...?
Despite all these doubts, the boy began to move. His hands still wedged in between his thighs, his body slowly inched across the leather interior with a slight squeaking sound following, making him cringe. Kaworu closed his eyes and kept smiling, but other than that he was completely still.
With a scoot, and then another, and then another, and finally one more slow, painful shift of weight, Shinji was sitting directly up against Kaworu. He swallowed hard and slowly rested his head on his shoulder.
Kaworu laughed softly and wrapped his outstretched arm about Shinji's shoulders. Then, with the other hand, he held his chin up and gazed into his bright blue eyes.
Shinji began to breathe heavily and his eyelids lowered.
"K-Kaworu kun..." he began quietly.
Kaworu hushed him by kissing the nape of his neck, working his way up to his ears. His hand pressed against his cheek, saying a thousand things but not saying anything at all.
Shinji quickly put his hand on top of Kaworu's, as if to assure himself that the gesture was real. Then desperately he hugged Kaworu to him and buried his head against his chest, on the verge of sobbing from the happiness that came from Kaworu's responding touches.
So he wasn't mad...he wasn't...everything was okay...okay... ...
"Did you think it was a dream?" Kaworu whispered. "Did you think that it would disappear the instant it was over?"
Shinji nodded quickly as his fingers dug like claws into Kaworu's t-shirt. Kaworu held him as close as he could and continued to whisper:
"No. It won't go away. I won't go away. Have a little more faith in me, Shinji kun."
Kaworu laughed again. Shinji looked up at him, desperately wishing that those lips would kiss him. And as if he knew, Kaworu began to lean in closer...their lips were almost touching...
"We're back!" Misato said as she began to unlock the car door from the outside. Asuka waited patiently next to the passenger door, licking a vanilla icecream cone.
Shinji almost flew to the other side of the car and once again buried his hands between his thighs. Kaworu simply kept smiling.
As the two girls hopped in and Misato started the engine, she leaned back and said, "Did you guys behave while we were gone?"
Shinji and Kaworu looked at each other.
Shinji blushed and said, "Hai, Misato san."
Misato shrugged and put the car into drive. "Good. Now let's get home."