Le Professeur du Français
A fan fiction by LM Simpson
Disclaimer: I don't own Irma Lair and Martin Tubbs (but y'all already know that).
LM Simpson's tidbits (A/N): (Throws toast to Nobility and Wizard-Theif) Thanks for the support, guys!
This one actually originated from an old IrmaxMartin oneshot that I just never finished for a variety of reasons (it was inspired by a certain little scene in issue nine, as you can see just by the title). I thought of said oneshot when I was deciding on which prompt to do next, so I scratched the original and started all over again. I've explained some stuff that the reader may have trouble with in the fic; just carefully read and y'all should be able to find it. If you still can't find it, just ask me, and I'll explain it.
Enjoy!
Table: Comedy/Humor
Prompt 9: Backfired!
0000
Martin could barely contain himself. He was within seconds of tutoring Irma in French. While it gave him a chance to be with her, the best part, though, was that it gave him the opportunity to be seen as someone else other than geeky, Irma Lair fanboy Martin Tubbs. Heck, maybe he could even impress her with his French skills and finally win her over like he had wished for the last two years of his life…
"So, Irma, what are you having trouble with?"
"Lots of things…"
"What do you want to work on, first?"
"Um… how about reflexive verbs?"
"Alrighty, then—do you have your homework with you?"
She nodded slowly, and opened her backpack. "Yeah, but it's gonna make your inner Frenchman cry," she said grimly as she gave him a sheet of paper.
"Oh, I don't think you did it that badly," Martin said before looking down. "OH MY GOSH!"
Martin stared in horror as he took a look at Irma's homework. The "ils" and "il" forms were switched, she had written the "tu" form where "vous" should have been, and the "je" form's reflexive pronoun—"me"—was correct, but the verbs had the "tu" form. Why, the only completely correct one was the "nous" form! His little cupcake desperately needed help—and stat!
"Well, uh, what do you want to start on first?" Irma asked.
"How about we do all of them?" he replied, tearing a piece of paper out of his notebook. He quickly scribbled something and put the sheet on the desk.
As it turned out, he had made a chart:
Se laver
Je
Tu
Il/Elle/On
Nous
Vous
Ils/Elles
"You seem to have a lot of trouble with all of them except for the 'nous' form. So, I decided I will help you one reflexive verb at a time. We'll use 'se laver—' 'to wash oneself' for the examples."
"Okey-dokey," Irma said.
Martin took out a pen. "Now, the pronouns are very simple. 'Se' is used for two forms"— he wrote the word after "il" and "ils"—"'nous' and 'vous' repeat the pronouns, 'je,' 'me,' and 'te' starts with the same letter as 'tu.' Got it?"
"Um… I guess," she answered, sounding and looking not completely sure, but still a little more understanding of the concept.
"Okay, then," Martin said, "do you know how to conjugate regular –er verbs?"
"Yeah…"
"Then that's what you do, Irma! Finish the chart!"
Irma snatched the pen from him and began writing. For every pronoun she worked on, she said its translation at a barely audible volume. I washed myself… You washed… He, she it, we washed, we, y'all, they…
…Until the chart was completely filled.
Se laver
Je me lave
Tu te laves
Il/Elle/On se lave
Nous nous lavons
Vous vous lavez
Ils/Elles se lavent
« Très bien ! » Martin exclaimed, partially trying to impress her. « C'est très bien ! Tu es un renard, ma petite ! »
"I'm a what?" Irma asked.
"I said you were a fox. You see—"
He had not begun his explanation that being called a fox was actually a comment stating how sly and clever one is in France when Irma slapped him across the face.
"Don't you ever do that again!" she yelled as she stormed out of the classroom.
THE END
A/N: In retrospect, maybe it was a good idea I didn't do this when I was a first year French student (heck, maybe in a few years, I'll regret doing this when I was a third year French student… LOL). Thanks for reading, though, and until next time, have a good day!
Bye, y'all!
LM Simpson