Disclaimer: I don't own the Bible. Be glad for that.
WARNING: My humour has kicked back in.
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!
AUTHORESS' POV:
I sighed. Damn, my other story was removed! I bet they did that, just because it was a bit controversial. I was pretty pissed at the moment and was about to curse
f a n f i c t i o n . n e t
to hell, when I had a great idea.
I turned on the computer and started typing an e-mail for Satan. I had to do something to get my mind off the whole deal, so I thought I just had to apologize to Satan, because he was also reading my stories.
And the e-mail went like this:
To: lordsatanthedevil hades.hell
Subject: Message from SonnyGoten
Dear Lord Satan the Devil,
I am truly sorry, that I hadn't updated the story you like for months. But now, I've got bad news for you. F a n f i c t i o n . n e t has removed my story. Please, don't kill me, it was not my fault. If you want to burn someone burn them.
Well, just wanted to tell you what happened. Have a nice day. Ciao!
Love,
SonnyGoten
PS: If you still want to read my story, just e-mail me, okay?
I re-read the e-mail and smiled. This was good. He wouldn't sent me to hell now that he knows it's not my fault, right? I clicked the send-button.
HADES:
Damn it! Someone was going to burn. Satan had just checked his e-mail and he wasn't happy. No, not at all. Yet another controversial story was removed and evil had taken a step back.
'I bet God had something to do with this,' the Master of Evil thought. 'Oh I'm gonna make Him pay, I swear I will.'
So the devil started typing an e-mail to God, declaring yet another war to Him.
HEAVEN:
God walked over to His computer and turned it on. Damn it, someone had messed up his computer and God was not pleased with this at all.
'Wait,' He thought, suddenly remembering something very important. 'I am the Almighty God. I can fix anything.'
He snapped His holy finger and the internet was fixed. Thus He checked His e-mail and damn was He pissed off.
'Damn those mortals! They are filling up my whole inbox with their pathetic little prays and calls for help.'
He was about to delete every single message when His eyes fell upon one particular and He opened it.
It read:
From: lordsatanthedevil hades.hell
To: thealmightygod heaven.sky
Subject: Declaration of war from Lord Satan the Devil.
Dear God,
You have recently removed a very controversial story. This story had possessed evilness and you know evilness is my business. I here by declare war between heaven and Hades. Be ware of my wrath.
Yours sincerely,
Lord Satan the Devil
PS: And stop calling me Lucifer, damn it!
God sighed heavily. Not again…
AUTHORESS' POV:
I turned on my computer again. No e-mails yet. I shrugged. 'Oh well, better next time.'
I was about to turn off the computer when a great idea struck me. Let's continue my newest story! I bit my lips what to type, what to type… I didn't even have a real plot or something made up.
I shrugged. 'Oh well…'
I started typing.
NOMEDEL'S POV:
It was thousands and thousands and maybe millions of years after I was created - I, the picture of perfection. I looked at myself and sighed. I would always stand in the shadows of my creator.
But not so long ago a rumour had taken place in heaven and it had reached my ears. Lucifer, one of the highest angels, was rebelling against God. I thought things over and decided, that I would have a word with Lucifer.
I few hours or maybe hundreds of years later, time in heaven is not like time on Earth after all, I walked up to Lucifer.
"Lucifer, I heard about the rumours. Are they true?"
He looked at me. "Yes they are. I'm planning on rebelling against our creator," he replied casually. His eyes hardened and he continued in an icy voice: "Don't you ever think that you are able to stop me…"
I kneeled down before Lucifer, showing him that I wouldn't fight against him. I felt him smiling in satisfaction. I lifted my head and gave him a meaningful look.
"I was thinking about joining you in your rebel…"
His satisfied smile turned into a smirk. "Really…? And you think that I need your help? You are so weak, I can squash you like an insect."
I frowned at that. I was perfect, not weak. That was a great insult. But he was still much more powerful than I was. I couldn't make him angry or he would do something against me. Still, my pride was hurt badly.
"I am not weak," I protested.
He looked down at me. "Prove it."
I got up my feet and pulled out my sword. If he was asking for a fight, then he would get one. He raised an eyebrow, challenging me. I attacked him…
In flash he disappeared. I turned around, knowing that he was behind me. But my sword broke. I froze, staring at my sword with wide eyes.
"Not weak you say…?" he said, his back turned at me.
I lower my head in defeat. I was weaker then him, and I knew it, for the creator's second gift to me was knowledge.
Lucifer turned himself around facing me again. "The creator had given you knowledge, so you know that you hold no value to me. But still, I accept your offer."
LEGNAËL'S POV:
It's been hundreds and hundreds and maybe thousands of years after Lucifer's rebel in heaven. He has fallen to the depths of Hades now, but somehow everyone knows that he will once again come back and declare war to heaven.
Somehow I feel hurt, knowing that a part of our kind isn't here in heaven with us. Hurt, because they were like brothers to me and I loved them, for my Creator had granted me love as the second gift. But nothing can be done against the pain, because we know our brothers can never be changed again. Can they…?
AUTHORESS' POV:
I sat back, satisfied with the longest chapter I had ever created, when suddenly the computer showed me that I had a new e-mail. I opened it and widened my eyes. This e-mail was a war-declaration from Satan to God! Somehow it had gotten send to my e-mail address. Some mistake must have occurred on internet to let this important message come in my inbox.
A smirk made itself known on my face. This might be interesting for my story.
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