Jackson's POV
Tonight are the VMA's. Me and my band were supposed to be there, but we had to come to Vancouver a few days earlier than planned and we decided to do a show tonight. So I was sitting in the dressing room just looking in the mirror, thinking.
Even though me and Ashley hadn't been talking and things had been awkward between us lately, it still would have been nice to see her. Despite everything that happened a few months ago, I miss her.
I wanted to call and wish her good luck tonight, but I figured she would be busy getting ready and I didn't want to bother her. That's what I should be doing. Getting ready for our show.
But I wasn't in the mood to play tonight, which never happens. I love the band and music so much. Playing a show is always fun, but tonight there was somewhere else I wanted to be.
Ashley has inspired a lot of the songs I have written over the last few years, so I usually think about her before we go onstage for a show. Thinking about her is almost like a good luck ritual for me, but this was almost too hard. It just made me miss her more.
While I was lost in thought, Ben G. came up behind me, but I wasn't paying attention so he yelled my name and waved his arms in the mirror from behind me to get my attention.
"Sorry. Is it time to go on?"
"No, we still have a few minutes. The guys were getting worried though so they sent me to check on you."
"Why are they worrying about me? I'm fine."
"Really? Usually before a show you're out with the rest of us, making sure everything's set up, coming up with new songs to sing for the show. You've been back here for like an hour. Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just, the VMA's are tonight and we were supposed to be there."
"Ohhhh. That's what this is about. You miss your girlfriend."
"You know she's not my girlfriend."
"But you want her to be."
"Yeah, well she doesn't want to be with me. Can we just not talk about this. Let's go get ready for the show."
"Okay, whatever you say man. Let's go."
We went out and played for over an hour, and I tried to get into it, but I just wasn't feeling it. Hopefully I faked it good enough that the fans didn't notice anything was off.
When we finally got backstage after our second encore, all I wanted to do was go back to the hotel and crash. I was just exhausted from everything that had been going on today.
We finally put away all of our equipment and me and Jerad went back to the hotel to sleep while the rest of the guys went out.
After what was a long night, I was so tired, I was lying in bed ready to fall asleep when there was a knock on my door. I reluctantly got up to answer it, thinking it might be important.
However, when I opened my door, I found Jerad with his laptop.
"Jerad, what do you want? I'm so tired, I just want to go to sleep."
"Jay, you have to look at this."
"What is it? Can it wait until tomorrow?"
"No, you need to see this now." He walked past me and sat down on my couch, opening his laptop.
I figured he wouldn't leave until I looked at whatever he came over here to show me, so I closed the door and sat next to him on the couch.
Before I knew it, he had pulled up a website with pictures of Ashley from the VMA's.
"Man, why are you showing me this?"
"Before they left, Ben G. told me that he talked to you before the show and you were upset because you wanted to see Ashley tonight."
"You guys are worse than girls who gossip. Why do you guys have to get involved in my love life?"
"Because if we don't push you, you won't have a love life."
"Yeah, well it doesn't mean I want you guys controlling who I date. What does this have to do with these pictures anyway?"
"I wasn't really looking because of you, I was just wondering who won tonight since we are musicians, I thought we should know what's going on. Anyway, when I was looking for the winners, I found pictures from the red carpet and of course Ashley is always popular with photographers so her pictures were one of the first things that popped up."
"She does look really good in those pictures."
"What are you talking about, she always looks good. Besides, you're in love with her so you think she looks good no matter what."
"I'm not in love with her! Why does everyone keep saying that? Yeah, I like her, but it doesn't mean I'm going to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her."
"Maybe not, but you should at least try dating. Who knows, maybe she's your soul mate."
Laughing I said, "What are you going soft on me? Since when did you become such a romantic?"
"Since I got married. I just think everyone should find the person that makes them happy and who knows, maybe Ashley is your person."
"Okay, thank you for the advice and the concern, but we need to stop talking about this before you get any sappier. Back to the pictures. What's the big deal that couldn't wait until tomorrow?"
"When I was looking at Ashley's pictures, I saw a lot of headlines about her being cold, not smiling and talking to fans and reporters like she usually does."
"Maybe she was just having a bad night. It's not a big deal."
"But they think it's because of Joe Jonas. Maybe things aren't going so well between them."
"I don't want to get involved in this."
"Hey man, this could be good for you."
"What, because an on-line tabloid says it's Joe's fault she was in a bad mood? Why do you always believe this stuff, none of it's true."
"It's true sometimes. And even if it's not true, you know Ashley, what do you think?"
"I mean yeah, she does look upset, or at least not like she usually does. But there could be a lot of reasons why she wasn't her usual self."
"Fine, maybe it didn't have anything to do with Joe, but it still looks like something is off. That's why I thought this couldn't wait until tomorrow. I think you should call her and see if she's okay."
"Please tell me you're kidding? That is the worst advice I have ever heard."
"I'm dead serious. If it's nothing, then you look like a good friend, which you are. But if it's something, maybe she just needs someone to talk to and you were nice enough to call and check on her. Either way, it'll make you look good."
"When you put it like that, it sounds good, but we haven't talked in over a month. I only texted her a few days ago to tell her we weren't going to the VMA's. I couldn't even call and talk to her. And what am I supposed to say anyway?"
Jokingly imitating myself in a low voice, "Uh Ashley, it's Jackson. I was just stalking you on-line, looking at your pictures from tonight and I wanted to see if you were okay. Did something happen with you and Joe like the press is saying?"
"Don't tell her you were stalking her, but something like that would be good."
"Whatever. I'm not calling her. She's probably busy anyway."
"Call the phone at her apartment. It's 2:30 AM here, so it's what, 11:30 PM in L.A. The VMA's just got over at like 10:30 and I'm sure there are after parties and stuff, she's probably not even home yet. Then you can leave a message and she can call you back if she wants to. If she calls you back, clearly things aren't as weird between you two as you think they are."
"I guess. That's a good point, leaving the ball in her court. Fine, but I'm not doing this with you here."
"Hey, I was just here to deliver the news and convince you to do something about it. My work here is done. I'm going to bed."
"Even though you guys can be overbearing sometimes, thanks for trying to help me."
"That's what friends are for. Good luck man."
"Thanks. Goodnight."
Finally Jerad left to go back to his room. I locked my hotel room door and sat down on the couch with my cell phone on the table, trying to decide what to do. All I have to do is call and say hi and tell her I'm here if she wants to talk. The worst thing that could happen is her not calling me back, which would just show that our relationship is strained. Why not, I've got nothing to lose at this point.
I picked up my phone and found Ashley's number, listening nervously as it rang on the other end. After five rings, her answering machine picked up which is good, at least she's not home. I don't know if I could handle talking to her right now.
"Hi, this is Ashley. Leave me a message and I'll get back to you."
While listening to her voice, I was mesmerized and I almost missed the beep on the answering machine. Before I could speak, all these things went through my head.
What do I say?
What if she doesn't want to talk to me?
Is this going to make things more uncomfortable between us?
But then I remembered what I told myself. The worst thing that could happen is her not calling back. I decided to go for it.
"Ashley," but before I could say anything else someone picked up the phone and I heard her voice.
"Jackson?"
I thought about hanging up, but I really wanted to talk to her, even though I didn't know what I wanted to say.
"Yeah, it's me."
"I haven't talked to you in forever!"
"I know, we've both been so busy."
"Yeah. It's good to hear your voice."
"Yours too."
"What's going on?"
I hesitated. "Well, I don't really know what to say."
"Well you called me, so I'm assuming you wanted to talk about something."
"I actually figured you wouldn't be home so I was just going to leave you a message so you could call me if you wanted to. Or not."
Sounding worried she asked, "Why, is something wrong?"
"No, everything's fine with me. I was actually calling to see if you were okay."
"Me? I'm fine. Why would you think something's wrong with me?"
I was hoping she wouldn't get mad, but I had to explain why I called now that I had said something. "Well, we played a show tonight and me and Jerad came back to the hotel instead of going out and Jerad was looking at who won tonight at the VMA's and he saw some pictures of you on the red carpet so he came to show them to me. I thought you looked kind of upset and I just wanted to let you know you could call me if you wanted to talk."
"That's so sweet of you, thank you Jackson. But I don't really want to talk about it."
"As long as you're good, that's all I wanted to hear. So you're sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine. There's just a lot of stuff going on right now and I'm really confused about everything with all the work I've been doing and dating and the paparazzi and I haven't seen my family in months and Joe just broke up with me this afternoon and I haven't even talked to you or Kellan or most of my friends lately and I feel so alone with everyone off doing their own projects and I don't know what to do."
Wow. I don't even know where to start with all of that. I called to talk to her if she needed someone to talk to, but I'm not very good with advice.
"Jackson, I'm so sorry about how I just blurted everything out like that. It's just been a tough day and I'm really tired."
"Hey, don't worry about it. I called to listen, so…wait, did you say Joe broke up with you today?"
"Yeah. He texted me this afternoon while I was getting dressed for the VMA's. Can you believe it?"
"What a jackass. You deserve someone so much better than him Ash. So that's why you looked upset on the red carpet."
"That, and everything else going on right now."
"Yeah, well don't let it get to you, you need to get out and do something fun to get your mind off of everything. Before you know it, we'll be up filming Breaking Dawn and we'll have a few months with everyone, so that's something to look forward to."
"Yeah, you're right. And I'm going to New York tomorrow for fashion week, so I'm excited about that. It'll be nice to get out of L.A., especially to get away from all the paparazzi, you know they're so much worse here than in New York."
"Yeah. Well enjoy New York. Fashion week is perfect to get your mind off of everything. Then maybe you can go and see your family if you're not working, stay out of the spotlight for a while."
"That sounds nice. It would be good to see my parents and my brother. I think that's just what I need. Thank you so much for the idea."
"No problem. I'm gonna go and let you get some sleep, but call me if you want to talk anymore, you know I'm always here if you need me."
"Yeah, I know. Thanks Jackson. It's been a while since I've talked to someone I can really trust and this made me feel a lot better. Good luck with the film festival."
"Thanks Ashley. Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
After I hung up I realized I missed hearing her voice more than I could have imagined, and talking to her I was happier than I had been in a long time. Maybe Jerad was right, we should try dating to see if things could work between us, but she sounded stressed and she was upset at the VMA's because the guy she's in love with broke her heart. It's not really the best time to ask her out on a date.
Only 2 months to go until I see her again on set. I couldn't wait to be with her. While lying in bed before falling asleep, I thought about all the good times we had together. I finally realized what everyone else already saw and kept telling me, but what I always denied. I fell asleep knowing for sure that I was in love with Ashley.
Ashley's POV
I can't believe Jackson called to see if I was okay. After thinking about him all night, I was so happy to talk to him and hear his voice. It was just like old times when we used to talk, there was nothing weird between us. Hopefully that means things are going back to normal with us.
I can't believe I just dumped all of my problems on him like that. Hopefully he doesn't think I'm crazy now. I felt bad lying to him, but I couldn't tell him I was upset in those pictures because of him. It was pretty obvious he didn't want to try having a relationship with me and I didn't want things to get weird between us again.
What am I going to do? He obviously cares about me enough to call and check on me, but that's not enough. While I was talking to him, it just made everything more clear. I fell asleep knowing for sure that I was in love with Jackson.