Chapter Two
The words flowed so easily in my head. I just could not physically express them. I felt like I was paralyzed in some way. I was afraid. Afraid of what he might think or how my feelings could change our relationship.
"Nessie... it's ok," Jacob said reassuringly.
I gently smiled. He stepped towards me and reached for my hand. "It's ok," he said slower. "What made you upset?"
"This feels so weird," I managed to say. I noticed a slight trembling in my hands.
Jacob patiently waited for me to continue.
"I really don't know how to explain it?" My face was getting hot from embarrassment. "In all honesty, I think I freaked out because I wanted to… kiss you… and I had a panic attack," I admitted.
Jacob's eyes widened. Then a smile grew on his face. I didn't know if he was going to laugh or not. I braced myself for the sting of rejection. The seconds felt like minutes. All of the sounds of the lake faded in the distance. All I could hear was my heartbeat fluttering.
"So you ran away?" he said still smiling. "Oh Nessie... you don't have anything to be embarrassed about."
I gave him a confused look.
"Well I can kinda understand how that would be scary... or new for you," Jacob said.
"I… I don't really understand my feelings. It's like all of a sudden I'm dreaming of you, or can't think of anything else but you. Jacob… I want you in my life more than just a friend," I confessed.
My God… my heart's about to explode. Oh I said too much. I felt like something had control over my actions permitting me to spill out all of my emotions. Jacob's face slowly melted. The gaze in his eyes made my stomach flip. Could he actually feel the same about me? "You don't know how happy that makes me," he said softly. Jake lifted my hand and kissed the back of it. This was all too much for me to take in. It felt like the mountains in front of me shifted and the stars in the sky flared. This is definitely dizziness. He was actually happy that I had feelings for him. I felt like I had to sit down; my legs lost all of their strength. "You have no idea of how much I love you Renesmee Carlie Cullen," he breathed. I knew Jacob loved me but not in this sense. I also never heard him say my full name before. I stood in place dazed with my mouth slightly open. Before I could say anything, his lips were pressed against mine. The tugging sensation that I felt earlier was present and coming in waves. Jacob pulled me closer to him. His full lips covered my mouth. As scared as I was, I was more eager to have him hold me. His mouth gently tugged at my lips. I imitated what was ingrained in my mind from TV. His tongue slipped in my mouth making my knees buckle. He then lifted me so my face was at the same level as his. I secured my legs around his waist and it reminded me of a scene in a movie I saw a few months ago. Every nerve ending in my body felt like it was being lit on fire. But this wasn't painful. No amount of reading could accurately describe the sensation I was feeling. He slid me down his body slowly. The bulge in his sweat pants took me off guard for a second. He noticed that I flinched.
"Sorry."
"No… that's ok," I said nervously trying not to stare. My throat felt dry and he gently smiled at me.
"Jacob… I can't believe that you also feel this way."
"Yes… I do."
"This is like the biggest relief ever. I was so afraid that you wouldn't want me in that way."Deathly terrified.
Jacob gazed at me; almost looking at me in awe. He looked like he was thinking of something intently. I took this opportunity to relish his features; even though I knew them by heart. The dimple in his chin, his high cheek bones, his broad shoulders… his full lips that I was so gracious to kiss. I was so happy that it slipped my mind that my father tackled him to the ground only a few minutes ago.
"Did my dad hurt you?" I asked urgently.
"Not really... Well just a little; I walked it off. But I swore I was going to die tonight though. I wasn't going to fight him no matter what because it would have hurt you if I had hurt him. So I was just going to let him do as he pleased when I realized that I couldn't get away."
"Jacob," I breathed.
"You know how they say your life flashes in front of you…" he mumbled.
I reached up to touch his face.
"I had to tell the rest of the pack to not come. Quil was the first to phase after I ran off. Once he knew that your father tackled me, all of the others phased. I told them to stay away… and they all had to listen to my command."
"Oh my God… what if Uncle Emmett and Grandma haven't stopped my dad?" I said franticly.
"I would have tried my best to have your father read my mind. I don't think he was even coherent to listen. All I remember thinking was 'Wait!' and 'Oh shit!' I just accepted that Edward might kill me." Jacob sighed. "I would die for your happiness."
My eyes started to sting. Jacob wiped a tear from my cheek and kissed my forehead. "And just think… we were deciding what we were going to do this morning so we wouldn't be bored," Jacob said with humored sarcasm.
I chuckled but the tears kept coming. He would die for my happiness? So many mixed emotions flooded my head all at once. I was happy, scared, angry, and confused at the same time. I was happy because I want to be with Jacob. I truly believe that I'm falling in love with him. Scared because I don't know how to personably be in a romantic relationship. Angry because Jacob was going to sacrifice himself and be killed. Angry at my dad for putting him in danger. (But can I really stay mad at him when all he thought he was doing was protecting me?) And I'm definitely confused. What were my Aunts talking about that day that concerned Jacob and I?
Before I knew it… tears started to flow down my cheeks due to all of the thoughts rambling in my head. Jacob lifted me in his arms and slowly rocked side to side. Awkwardly, it reminded me of when Jacob use to feed me as a baby. "Nessie, everything is gonna be alright," Jacob's said as his voice cracked. It sounded as if he was crying himself. I looked up to see his face. A tear was nestled in the corner of his eye. It streamed down his face when he blinked. He walked over to a tree and sat against the trunk keeping me cupped in his arms. I took both of my thumbs and wiped the now multiple tears off of his cheeks. His eyes were red. His expression was as if he was having his own personal war on whether or not to break down completely. He looked like he was struggling not to cry anymore.
I took his face with my hands and kissed him. Both of our breathing was broken. He grabbed the back of my head and tangled my hair in his fingers. It felt amazing and made me forget all about my conflicts. I was hoping that it did the same for him. He let my legs go and I lay on the side of his body. Our bodies curved into the large exposed tree root. My hands caressed his bare chest. His skin was so smooth. It was just like my dreams. He trembled under my touch and started to groan. His breathing started to even out and get deeper after a while. Jacob reached out for my knee and moved my leg up his body and rested it on his pelvis. My God… my knee was on his… Wow. It was really hard and parts of my body were jealous of my stupid little knee. Jacob's tongue slipped further in my mouth and that tugging feeling inside me tripled making me shiver. My fingers clung tighter to him. The heat from his beautiful body was making me dizzy. We were only kissing for 48 seconds, but it felt like an eternity. I was in my own personal world as I let my body react to his touch. That tingling feeling that I feel when watching steamy movies lingered in between my legs. It felt really good. I wanted to concentrate on that feeling but my mind wondered off and recalled the conversation that Aunt Rosalie and Aunt Alice had awhile ago.
"When she's mature enough, Jacob may tell her?" Aunt Alice said hopefully.
"I don't like it at all! The whole imprinting... Uhh it's..."Aunt Rosalie blurted out; too frustrated to finish her thoughts.
"Jacob has proven himself time and time again of his loyalty. It's not as extreme as you see it," Aunt Alice said defensively.
"It's not f… I hear someone coming," Aunt Rosalie said startled.
Jacob had my full attention when he moved his hand up my shirt and touched my breast. I gasped. He quickly pulled his hand back from my shirt.
"I'm sorry," he said softly.
"No… it just took me off guard." I liked it.
I bit my lip as I gazed into his deep brown eyes. Then I glanced at his muscular heaving chest. I had to make a tremendous effort not to kiss him again. My hormones must be going into hyper mode. Half breed hormones… a subject I am not fully educated on. I've only read about human teenage puberty and hormones. And it was never a proper conversation to bring up with Nahule; the only other half breed I know. Nahule has two sisters that he sees from time to time. It wouldn't have helped if he asked them… they probably feed on the men they have sex with. So I'm all alone with this.
"I just need to ask you something," I said concentrating on thought process.
"Sure," Jacob said as he kissed my neck.
Concentrate, concentrate I thought to myself.
"What is imprinting?" I asked breathlessly as his tongue licked my collar bone.
Jacob pulled away from my neck. "Who mentioned that?" he asked. I figured I would ask him now. I needed some answers and the uncertainty was making me frustrated. I sat myself upright and gently cleared my throat. My heart was still beating too fast. I purposely concentrated on his face. Jacob's erection was clearly a scene stealer.
"I overheard a conversation that my Aunts were having a few days ago. From what I made out… it involved you and me."
Jacob pushed himself up so that he was sitting straight. He took a deep breath. "It's kinda complicated to explain," he said. He took a long pause. I stared at him in a frozen state anxiously waiting for him to continue. It seemed like he was having trouble finding the words to explain.
"Pack members get this... how shall I say, a magical connection with somebody. Like a soul mate. They will be whatever that person needs; a best friend… lover... husband," Jacob explained slowly.
"So you had an imprinting on me?" I questioned.
Jake chuckled.
"Yes… I imprinted on you."
There was a brief moment of silence as I was trying to understand. This is what Aunt Alice was hoping that Jacob would tell me one day… when I'm ready.
"So… I'm your soul mate?"
"You are."
Jacob smiled at me. I was so curious about all of this. I wanted to know everything there was to know.
"How do you know that the person is your soul mate and not a person you just have a crush on… or someone partially compatible; not exactly your soul mate?" I asked.
"Believe me… it's a feeling that you can't mistake. It changes your life. It's like something came over me and instantly made you the most important thing in my life. More than my family… More than my pack… More than my own life. Any experience in my life before I laid my eyes on you became insignificant. I physically felt a pull towards you; as if someone magnetized my body. Once I saw you, I knew that I had to protect you… take care of you, and love you with every fiber of my body. I unconditionally loved you. And I don't want you to think that it's a trivial choice. It's more spiritual than magical. The spirits that allow us to phase chooses our soul mates. They select the individual that would be the perfect mate for us. I know that this is a lot to take in. But I just want you to understand."
I was kinda stunned for a moment. Jacob just told me that he loved me more than his life and family. He was looking at me so intensely… my heart started to hurt. I guess my blood was rushing too fast? I started to feel extremely hot.
"Once you saw me?" I questioned.
"You see… imprinting happens the first time we see our soul mate. If the first time we see that person… and they are a child, we would wait until they are mature to have romantic feelings for them," Jacob explained.
"Jacob… I've known you for all… of… my… life." It just dawned on me that Jacob imprinted on me as a baby. "So are you saying that you imprinted on me when I was a baby?"
"Actually… the day you were born."
"Oh… Wow. How did my parents feel about that?"
"Your mom was upset but eventually accepted it."
"Hey... is that why my mother leaped at you that day that Seth got his nose broken? Was it because my mother was upset that you imprinted on me?"
"Yes."
"Wow… that was one of my first memories. I remember that I was happy that Seth got hurt instead of you."
Jacob gave me an odd look.
"You were mine from day one. I kinda felt possessive over you as a baby. I didn't know exactly what it was back then because I didn't understand much. But I remember how glad I was that you didn't get hurt."
"Oh… Wow," Jacob said amazed.
"So… I was chosen for you by a… Greater force?" I said softly.
He started caressing my face and gently smiled.
"Yes… I hope I'm not freaking you out?"
"Um… No."
This was definitely something unexpected, but it oddly felt natural. Now looking back, I can see why Jacob was a bit edgy when Nahuel visited. Nahuel is the only half breed that I know. Jacob probably feared that I would take a romantic interest in him because we have so much in common. Aunt Rosalie always lit up like a Christmas tree when he visited, encouraging that we spend more time alone. She's never that excited when Jacob visits. I can clearly see who she wants me to choose. Nahule is nice and very interesting, but Jacob is a constant force in my life. There is no question of who I would like to be with. It's evident that I would want Jacob.
"I didn't want to make you speechless," Jacob said as I continued gazing at his face.
"So… what happens if the person that was imprinted on loves another person... or doesn't feel the same as the pack member?" Rosalie's comments this morning were making sense to me now.
"They will still love that person and be whatever that person needs... even if it's just a best friend."
"Wow," I said softly. "Could the pack member get married to someone else?"
"Someone other than the person they imprinted on?"
"Yeah," I asked wearily.
"Not likely. He would never love a woman as much as he would love the one he imprinted on," Jacob said with a sad undertone.
"Well… it's a good thing that I'm in love with you."
Jacob smiled and kissed me passionately. I couldn't tune out the pounding of my heartbeat. This all seemed so unrealistic. After a few minutes, my mind cleared from being totally consumed by Jacob's embrace. I thought of the fact that he mentioned that his pack members imprint on their soul mates. I wondered who else imprinted since all of the older pack members are married except for Quil. I pulled away from him to catch my breath. It didn't help that he leaned in to me to continue kissing me.
"Ummm… Jacob," I sighed as soaked in his gentle touch.
"I could kiss you all night," he whispered in my ear.
"That would be nice… but I have to ask you something."
He pulled away from me slowly not breaking eye contact.
"Has anyone else imprinted?"
"Yes… Paul imprinted on Rachel nine years ago."
"Oh my God," I gasped.
"Sam imprinted on Emily. Jared imprinted on Kim."
I was starting to believe that all of the married couples I knew in the tribe were placed together by this mystical force.
"Oh… and Quil imprinted on… Claire."
"Emily's niece! She's like ten years old."
"Quil actually imprinted on her when she was two years old. As I said… he won't have any romantic feelings for her until she is of age."
Well I know Claire will be cared for by Quil if he treats her anything like Jacob has treated me while growing up.
I was amazed at everything Jacob told me. And to think that my family knew that I was Jacob's soul mate all of this time. Everyone has already welcomed him into the family except for Aunt Rosalie. I guess I will cross that road sometime soon. I can't imagine my life without him. I love him so much. And now I have the opportunity to explore a deeper relationship with him. "Your parents have accepted the fact that I've imprinted on you… and even welcomed my constant presence. They know that I would only pursue a romantic relationship with you if you wanted me in that way. If you fell in love with someone else… I would graciously accept that… because I love you and want you completely happy." Jacob touched my face softly. He gazed at me as if I was the most beautiful thing he ever saw. Tears came to my eyes once again. He took his thumb and wiped one away. Then he looked down at my bracelet; the one he gave to me for Christmas when I was a child. Since then he added a section to it so that I could grow into it. He took his thumb and slowly spun it around my wrist. I don't know why I felt like I was in a trance watching him spin my favorite piece of jewelry around and around.
"My bracelet... I wear it every day," I said softly.
"I know. I love seeing it on you."
I smiled at him making another tear fall.
"You know… this is actually a Quileute promise ring."
"Really?" I said in amazement. "Wow… I love it even more."
"You do?"
"Yes. It means that I'm promised to you. I couldn't ask for anything more."
Jacob held me in his arms. He was so warm that I didn't even notice the chill in the air. We talked for a few hours and expressed how we felt about each other in depth. Jacob was more romantic than I ever imagined. He was like a different person, in a good way. His thoughts were so grounded and he knew what he wanted... he wanted me.
I was getting tired but Jacob showed no sign of sleepiness. "Your eyes are getting heavy," he said. I smiled back and yawned. "You're tired… Close your eyes and rest." I tucked my head under his neck and looked at his chest slowly heaving. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. His scent filled my brain. The musky smell that served as comfort… became something my senses hungrily craved for. Jacob squeezed me closer to him and gently caressed my forehead. This was making me really tired. I didn't want to fall asleep because there was so much more that I wanted to talk about. Also I wanted to make it home before my father started to worry. I only wanted to rest my eyes for a few minutes. I knew that fighting the urge to stay up was a battle that I would most likely loose. But the fact that he was massaging my scalp and forehead with his fingers rendered me unconscious.
***oooOOOooo***
The screech of a bald eagle awoke me. I looked around quickly because I was startled. It must have been around 5:30 in the morning. Jacob was still asleep slightly snoring. I hope my dad is not furious at me for not coming home. "Jacob… wake up," I called out. I shoved at his shoulder. Jacob stopped snoring but remained asleep. I leaned in to whisper in his ear, "Jacob wake up." "Huh?" His eyes opened and he smiled at me. I bit my bottom lip and kissed his.
"Good morning," I said cheerfully.
"Oh… Good Morning. Oh my God it's morning? Your Dad's gonna kill me!" Jacob sat up and started rubbing his forehead. Then he ran his hands through his hair.
"Did you sleep ok?" he asked.
"Yes."
It was actually the best sleep I had in years. Being asleep next to him was an amazing experience. Even unconscious my mind was actively loving each second.
Jacob took a deep breath and was staring at the lake in deep thought.
"My dad is not going to kill you Jacob."
"I should get you home," he said urgently.
"I'll be ok," I said; hoping that my statement would be true.
I was wondering if Jake was able to see my dreams. I know he use to see them when I was a child. But I learned to not project my dreams on to people when I sleep since there my private thoughts. Plus they're not that innocent anymore. I got pretty good with keeping my shield up with my mind reading father. Some things I would like to keep private.
"Jacob… were you able to see my dreams?"
"No... I haven't seen your dreams since you were a child."
"Oh… I guess having my shield up so often to keep my father from reading my mind has changed how freely my projections are on someone."
"Hmmm… I would like to have seen them. I bet they were interesting," he said with a smile.
"I'll give you a brief summary."
I touched his face and let him see how happy I was the first time he kissed me. I showed him how my body reacted when he touched me and he slightly shivered. I heard his heart speed up. He was getting excited. The growing bulge in his sweatpants proved that. I whimpered as I felt that tugging feeling again from in between my legs. I slowly leaned over to kiss him. Jacob rolled on his back and started to caress mine. It felt so good and sent chills everywhere… and I do mean everywhere. I wanted to touch him there but I was too scared. Only my knee and my stomach had the privilege to experience his penis pressed up against it. I never expected one little body part to drive this much passion from me. Well I'm sure it's not little… it doesn't feel little at all. I wanted to feel it pressed on my body again so I slid on top of his body. I heard a small growl and it made me gently smile. Jake pressed his fingers more into my body as his breathing deepened. I let out a small moan as my insides clinched. I smelled my arousal even more. I'm sure he did too since his senses are just as great as mine... some even better. I wanted to stay here forever with his body pressed hard against mine. But I knew I had to leave soon. I was probably already in a heap of trouble… but having these last kisses seemed worth it. Especially when he grabbed my butt and pressed me closer to him making me feel his erection. He let out a small moan that made the tugging sensation in me ache even more. Oh this is so much better than having a pillow in between my legs as I dream of him… so much better. But I was a bit embarrassed that I moaned like that. I don't know why… but I pressed my lips together to hold them in.
"I like to hear that," he whispered in my ear. I kept my lips sealed. "It's ok to moan," Jacob said softly. He gently bit my neck. I let out a gasp and moaned out loud. "Oooh." His hands went up my shirt and I started shivering. I didn't think that I was nervous, but I couldn't stop. He started moaning in my ear. To my surprise, this made me even more excited. I felt like I was going to explode.
"Jacob," I breathed.
"Yes Nessie?"
"Oh My God… you feel so good," I panted.
"You have no idea of how good you feel."
We kissed each other for a little while longer. I felt the wetness in between my legs and it made me feel even more sexy… that Jake did that to me. Lord knows I would explode if he actually touched me there. I never dreamed of him doing that to me. It was enough that I dreamed of kissing my best friend. I would feel ashamed if I thought of him… touching me there. But now it's ok for me to have those thoughts. My God… Now these thoughts are going to consume me until I go crazy.
We kissed for a bit longer. It was pure torture if you ask me. But I loved it. After a while we separated our overheated bodies. It was hard to stop kissing him. He stood up and reached out his hand to help me up. (An act of chivalry; since I'm perfectly capable of standing effortlessly). "I'll give you Emmett's pants so he won't miss them." I was still in a daze and a bit frustrated that we stopped. I had to get my thoughts together so that I would be able to speak in clear sentences.
"Um... Don't want my dad thinking you were naked with me. I'll get them later."
It was hard not to look down at Jacob… But I didn't. I had a mental image from before.
"You sure you don't want me to walk you home?" Jacob questioned.
"Yes… I'll be fine. I'll come to your house after breakfast. That's if my dad lets me out of the house."
Jacob smirked.
"I'm serious," I said laughing.
Jacob took me in his arms and hugged me tightly. His erection poked me in the stomach again. I didn't flinch this time; only pressed myself closer.
"Well, if you're going to get in trouble… you might as well enjoy yourself now," he breathed.
Jacob stared circling the small of my back with his fingers. I started feeling flushed again and shivered.
"Everything that you do to me is making me… excited. I'm not use to this," I confessed.
"Do you want me to stop?" he asked.
"No," I said faintly.
Jacob started massaging my back and leaned over to kiss my neck. I let out a moan as Jacob made my body feel even weaker. My legs felt like they were going to give out on me... I wasn't use to this at all. He continued kissing and sucking my neck. I dug my fingers into his back and Jacob pulled away from me.
"We really should go home now," he struggled to say.
"What did I do?" I asked. I thought I did something wrong.
"It's what you're not doing… stopping me," Jacob said as he was trying to catch his breath. "You don't know how hard it is for me not to… Want to make love to you," he said as if it was painful.
"You want to make love to me?" I asked with my voice breaking.
"Someday… when we're ready," he said softly.
I gently smiled. Jacob rested his cheek on top of my head. I wrapped my arms around him. We stood there for awhile as our breathing evened out. "I love you," I breathed. I've told Jacob that I loved him numerous of times. The sentiment is different now. Different because I didn't love him as just a friend; I loved him as my… Future. My God… Jacob is my future. And I have no protest to the path we're destined to take. Jacob raised his head and I looked up at him. His eyes were getting glazed. I smiled at him.
"I love you too Nessie." We both sighed at the same time.
"I think I should go home now," I said defeated.
"Ok… text me when you can. Let me know if you can come over."
I reached up to kiss him. He kissed my mouth with more passion than I expected. He then traveled to my neck.
"Ahh you have to stop," I said frustrated. "We are trying to go home… remember."
"Sure, sure… I'll stop."
Jake stepped back and raised his hands surrendering. I blew him a kiss and dashed in the direction of my home. I was surprised that I didn't trip on my mad dash. I don't think my mind was even functioning properly. I was in love with Jake and he was in love with me. I just know... That if this is a dream… I would be highly pissed.
I shortly arrived at my back yard. I paused for a moment to muster up my nerves. I took a deep breath and went into the house. I saw my father sitting on the sofa with his legs crossed. Damnit. I walked slowly into the living room.
"Hello," my father said. The undertone of his greeting was sarcastic.
"I'm sorry that I didn't come home. We had a lot to talk about and we fell asleep," I rushed to explain.
My father pressed his lips together. I wanted to read his mind to know exactly how much trouble I was in. He stood up from the sofa and walked over to me. Oh no I thought to myself. My father reached out and embraced me. I was shocked. I cautiously raised my arms and hugged him back. He let go and held the sides of my arms. I was trapped.
"I can understand if you don't want to tell me what happened when you were with Jacob. But you are still my daughter and for all intents and purpose… you are still a minor," he said sternly.
"I know Dad… I fell asleep. I ran home as soon as I woke up. I'm so sorry," I pleaded.
He had an odd look on his face. "I knew you were fine Renesmee. I saw you and Jacob asleep a few hours ago," my father admitted. My mouth opened. My face got hot from embarrassment.
"From Jacob's thoughts… I should be planning a wedding?"
"What?" I gasped.
My father let go of my arms and folded his.
"I couldn't help but to listen for a few seconds. Is there something you need to tell me?" he asked curiously raising his eyebrow.
"Um…" I managed to get one syllable out. I was dazed a bit that Jacob was dreaming about a wedding.
"When were you going to tell me about Jacob?" I countered. I realized that I spoke with bitter sarcasm… but it was too late to do anything about it.
"Jacob's a shape shifter," dad responded attempting to placate me.
"You know what I mean dad. The whole imprinting thing?"
My father rested his arms at his side. His facial expression morphed from scolding, to awareness, then empathetic. "Are you angry at us for not telling you?" he asked with concern. I huffed as I thought about it. "Well…" I replied. My mind went blank and I couldn't respond any further.
"What good would that have done to burden you with such knowledge? Our only intent was to protect you and surround you with some form of normalcy of a childhood," he explained.
His answer made sense… and slightly eased the anger that I felt.
"This is a lot to absorb in only a few hours. I'm still a bit confused about it… but I've… accepted it," I said.
"I see that you do have feelings for Jacob. I can understand the perplexity of your emotions."
"You know he said that he's not able to marry anyone else but me? If I don't marry him… he'll remain single forever."
My father winced.
"That's a lot of pressure to put on someone," he almost growled.
"No… it's ok Dad. It's not like he was giving me an ultimatum." I started to smile.
"I really can see myself with Jacob."
My father ran his hand through his hair and stared piercingly at the floor.
"Is this something you don't want for me?" I asked with my voice breaking.
"The only thing that is significant to me is your happiness," he said under his breath.
"I really love him Dad," I said softly.
"Could you see yourself marrying him?"
"Yes," I said shyly.
The realization of what I just said hit me like a ton of boulders. I really could see myself as Jacob's wife.
"Well then… perhaps you can ask Jacob to visit tonight. I would like to talk to him," my father said calmly.
"Hold on Dad! I did not tell Jacob that I wanted to marry him," I said frantically.
"No… I just would like to talk to him. Make sure he knows to respect your wishes. And remind him that I would wreak havoc on his life if he ever hurt you."
"Dad!"
My father smirked at me.
"Your mother is coming home early. She should be here sometime today."
"Oh… is she coming home because what happened last night?"
"She's coming home because her family needs her. I'm pretty sure you want to confide in your mother and discuss girl stuff," he said uncomfortably.
I twisted my lips to the side. I wondered if my dad was implying sex. "How is she traveling?" I asked. I had an image of my mother running all the way from Alaska in a blur to get here.
"They are all coming home by jet," he answered.
"Oh."
"She should be here in a few hours."
"Dad... is it ok if I go to the reservation after I get dressed?"
I wondered if I was pressing my luck. It seemed as if I was getting off too easy. I know I smelled myself… and I'm pretty sure he did too. Thank God he didn't mention anything about it and what we were doing for that scent to be so strong. My father lips pressed together. I looked at him with the most innocent face that I could muster. Please say yes… please. He smiled and finally said yes.
"Thanks!" I kissed him on his cheek.
"Make sure you ask Jacob to come over this evening."
"Of course."
I ran upstairs and took off my bracelet that Jacob gave me. I can't believe that this was a promise ring. I quickly took a shower and got dressed in a cotton black sundress. Aunt Alice is going to be mad that the shirt she bought me got destroyed. Maybe she won't notice. Who am I kidding? She is the only one who doesn't like to wear her clothes more than once or twice. I put my earrings on and fastened my bracelet back on my wrist. Then I grabbed my cropped jean jacket and text Jacob.
On my way. Not killed. Dad wants to ttyl.
I dashed to the kitchen to get a banana and a glass of orange juice. I noticed that there was a box of Dunkin' Donuts on the counter. I looked at the banana in my hand and back to the donuts. I lifted the lid and noticed that all of them were cream filled; my favorite. I let the lid fall back down and started to unpeel the banana. It's not like someone else is going to eat all of the donuts before I get back. If Seth comes over… he wouldn't dare eat all of them. While eating the banana I searched the fridge for some juice. I see that my grandmother bought chicken and salmon as Jacob requested.
The down stairs was more quiet than usual. I'm the only one that sleeps around here. I knew everyone was home because I smelled everyone's sent. Maybe no one wanted to be in the room when my father greeted me? I'm pretty sure that they all heard. I would at least expect Uncle Emmett coming down to make fun of me. He must be preoccupied with Aunt Rosalie. She must be put off by the fact that I mentioned that I could see myself marring Jacob. I feel as though we're going to have to finish our talk. I really want to get to the bottom of why she treats Jacob the way she does when everyone else accepts him as family.
I slowed down to a humans pace when I reached the reservation. Jacob's house wasn't that far from the border. A large addition and second floor was built on his house a few years ago. My parents paid for the construction and insisted that it would benefit Jacob's father's mobility. He lost his legs due to diabetes a long time ago. He had a hard time accepting the renovations. My parents also refurnished the house. That nearly gave him an ulcer. He stayed with Quil for two weeks while it was getting built. The construction workers took shifts working non- stop. Jacob's dad prefers that I call him Billy. Jacob takes great care of him even though he's very independent. He did not accept the motorized wheel chair that my father bought him. It's still in our garage just in case he changes his mind.
Billy is as stubborn as they come.
My grandpa Charlie spends a lot of time at the reservation either visiting Billy or Mrs. Clearwater. Billy is one of my grandfather's oldest friends. Mrs. Clearwater is Seth and Leah's mother. Mrs. Clearwater has been a widow for some time now. Harry Clearwater was also a good friend to my grandpa. Since Harry's heart attack, Grandpa Charlie has been spending the majority of his time with her. I suspect that they're dating, but grandpa only says that they are close friends. I don't have to read his mind to tell that he's not telling me everything. His heartbeat always gives him away. If my grandfather married Mrs. Clearwater...that would make Seth and Leah my Uncle and Aunt? Ah that's too much. I shook my head clear.
I recognized Paul's sent. He must be near somewhere. I rolled my eyes hoping he wasn't coming over Jacob's. Paul is such a pain. He can hurt my feelings without even trying. I saw Jacob's house down the road. It looked out of place compared to the other houses in the reservation because of the remodel. Jacob's black Hummer2 and navy blue van for Billy's transportation were parked in front of the house. Jacob practically rebuilt the truck. He bought it used from a car auction in California that had seized cars. He repaired the engine and body work at his body shop in Forks. It had a few dents in it from a car accident or car chase. I don't think the previous owner lived a legal lifestyle.
My father bought Jacob the shop a few years ago. Some may think that that's a large gift; buying someone a business. But my family is very wealthy and wanted to show Jacob appreciation for all that he's done for the family. Besides helping raise me, he's saved my mother's life a few times and risked his life many times to protect my family. Jacob manages the shop but doesn't have to be there every day. It's the most modern body shop in town, but Jacob charges reasonably. He gets so much business, the other shops in Forks are jealous. Sometimes my father helps out a night when it's closed and quickly fixes some of the cars just for fun. Buying big gifts is something that my family is used to. My grandfather Carlisle bought my grandmother an island off of the cost of Rio de Janerio. My father paid to remodel Jacob's house. If I mention that I want something… or even like it… my Aunts and Uncles would get it for me. That's how I got my car. I guess if you live hundreds of years and have a relative that can predict the stock market, you can accumulate a good amount of money. My grandfather also makes a good salary being a doctor.
I reached Jacob's house and walked up the ramp to the door. The scent of eggs and bacon were coming from the kitchen. I tapped on the door. A few seconds later Jacob swung open the door with a wide grin on his face.
"Hey Nessie," he said just as he always did. He didn't sound overwhelmed of the events last night. I have to admit that I was still nervous and a bit uncomfortable.
"Hi Jacob."
"I see you're in one piece... no missing limbs," he said as I walked pass him.
I chuckled.
"Yes… I am, but my dad is very adamant on speaking with you tonight."
"Oh," he said nervously.
"Hi Billy," I called out.
Billy was in his wheel chair in front of the 65 inch big screen my dad bought for him a few years ago. He didn't fuss and complain when that was delivered. His house is the main spot where everyone watches the games. He always looks memorized when he's looking at it.
"Hi Nessie, how are you doing Dear?" Billy called out.
"Just great," I answered.
"Glad to hear," he said smiling more animated than usual. I suspect his excitement is from any news that Jacob may have told him about last night.
He tried his best to look normal. Billy wasn't a man of many words especially when he was watching TV. To my knowledge he would only open up to my grandfather Charlie and Jacob.
"Are you hungry? I made some bacon. I can make more eggs if you want some?" Jacob asked.
"I'm fine."
I really wouldn't mind eating again, but I had a mint in my mouth. I was trying to keep my breath perfect. Kissing Jacob again was a prominent part of my day's plans.
"Are you sure?" he asked again.
"Yes… I'm sure."
"Oh, ok. Well let's chill in my room for awhile."
"Ok," I agreed.
Jacob walked me upstairs to his room. It was oddly clean and it didn't smell the usual.
"What have you been cleaning all morning?" I asked. The strong smell of Fabreeze, furniture polish, and Windex almost made my nose sting.
"What are you talking about?"
"I smell the cleaning products Jacob."
"Well I spruced up just a little. I knew you were coming over. Sue me."
"You knew I was coming over plenty of times before... And I had to withstand walking over dirty clothes and smelling day old pizza."
He stood speechless.
"Oh my God was this chair here before?" I asked.
He laughed.
"Yes it was… covered before."
"Oh… I thought that was a high pile of clothes."
"So how was your dad when you came home?" Jacob asked concerned.
I sat on the edge of his bed. He sat down beside me. I heard a loud creak in the springs.
"He was… calm I guess. He did remind me that I was a minor; implying that I was eight years old. I apologized as much as I could. And he was… loving. He didn't scream at me… he actually hugged me. In fact, I've never experienced my father really angry at me before. I think he understood that we innocently fell asleep." Though I didn't smell so innocent when I got home.
"Wow… I hope I get the same reaction from him."
"He did mention that if you hurt me he would wreak havoc on your life."
Jacob lifted his eyebrow.
"So what exactly did you tell him?" Jacob asked sounding a bit nervous.
"I told him we discussed our feelings for one another… and that you explained what imprinting was." I noticed that Jacob was holding his breath. "He explained why he didn't tell me about it…"
"What were his reasons for not telling you?" Jacob interrupted.
"He told me that he wanted me to have a normal childhood and that when I was ready… I would know."
"Oh," he said inaudibly. "So... you told him how you feel about me?"
"I told him that I'm in love you." Jacob smiled. "And just so you know, my dad came to the lake this morning while we were asleep." Jacob eyes widened. "And he listened to your thoughts for a few seconds."
His expression grew nervous.
"Did he tell you what he heard?" Jacob asked with a shaky voice.
"Well yeah." I looked down at my hands.
"Do you want me to combust?" Jacob asked looking overly anxious.
I slowly looked up at him. I was too nervous to tell him what he said.
"Renesmee," he said through his teeth.
"Wa... Well… he said that you were thinking about… our wedding."
Jacob breathed out of relief. I was now wondering what Jacob thought my father may have heard.
"Wait a minute… what did you think my father may have heard?"
Jacob smirked at me.
"I was dreaming of making love to you quite a bit that night," he admitted.
"Oh," I said embarrassed. My face started to get hot again. I remembered how it felt when his body was pressed up against mine.
"You're blushing," Jacob pointed out. "So your dad knows that I wish to marry you. He's known that would be a possibility for a long time."
"Um... He also knows that I said that I… want to marry you. I told him this morning when he told me that I have a choice. My choice is to be with you."
Jacob was silent. He didn't move. His heartbeat became deafening. We sat there starring at each other. I was waiting for him to say something. If he sat there for anymore longer… I would start to worry.
"Jacob," I whispered. His posture softened.
"You… want to marry me?" he said slowly.
"Yes… sometime shortly if you want to. I'm pretty sure you still will have to ask for my dad's permission."
"Oh Nessie!"
Jacob grabbed me in his arms and squeezed me tightly. I'm pretty sure a human girl would have been injured in his grasp. He kissed me wildly and leaned me back onto his bed. I wanted to surrender completely to our passion, but all I could think about was Billy down stairs. I contemplated back and forth on whether or not I should say something. Every time I had the notion to speak, Jacob's touch would render me speechless. He pulled up my sundress and ran his hand up my thigh. I tried my best to hold in my moans but they escaped in a low murmur. I had to stop him before I couldn't contain myself anymore.
"Jacob… Jacob." I tried to call his name each time my mouth was free from his.
"Yes," he breathed.
"Your father is home," I said breathlessly.
He continued kissing me.
"Wait," I said pushing back on his shoulders making him stop. "This feels weird with your father down stairs."
"Nessie… my dad can't hear as well as your family. You're freaking out for nothing."
I gazed in his eyes. He was still breathing hard and looked so sexy.
"Well if you like to hear me moan… I would like a little more privacy," I tried to say in a sexy voice. Jake's eyes widened. "Why do you temp me so?" he muttered.
Jacob kissed me without rubbing my thigh anymore. It was sweet. I was able to softly moan without being fearful that anyone else would hear. Then Jacob softy bit my neck making me gasp. "Jacob," I moaned. He licked my neck then kissed me harder than he's ever kissed me. I felt some type of pressure building up and it made me nervously uncomfortable. I couldn't take it anymore. "We should go now," I moaned. I needed him to stop really quickly. I could predict what was going to happen to me in the next minutes if he didn't. I pushed his shoulders back letting him now that I wanted him to get up. "Ok," he said softly. I gazed at him for a moment. He was so beautiful… and he was mine. I was still breathing heavy, trying my best to calm down. He gave me another small kiss and stood up. His jean shorts did a better job at concealing his erection than the sweat pants.
"Oh that's right. You have Uncle Emmett's pants."
"Yeah… I put them over there on top of my dresser."
"I'll wash them when I get home."
"Come with me," Jacob said smiling ear to ear.
"You're not gonna tell Billy now are you? He'll tell Grandpa Charlie and Grandma Rene. It will get to my Mom in seconds… and I haven't even talked to her yet about anything."
"Please Nessie. He won't tell anyone until I say it's ok. Trust me; he knows how to keep a secret."
Jacob looked like a kid dying to play with his new toys on Christmas. He looked so happy. "Oh... Ok. Let me get myself together first." I sat on the edge of the bed and focused on calming down. My heart was beating fast and I felt as if I were in an oven.
"Are you ok?" he asked.
"Yeah… I'm fine. I just feel a little… dizzy."
"I'm sorry… I must have overwhelmed your senses," Jacob said playfully.
I smirked at him.
"Seriously… do you need anything... Water?"
"No… I'm fine. I just need a second."
I smoothed my hair and straightened the top of my sundress. "You're ready?" Jacob asked extending his hand. I nodded my head yes. We went downstairs. He put his arm around my waist once we were at the bottom step. I was glad that I had the extra support because my legs felt as if they did not belong to me.
I'm pretty sure Billy knew what happened last night. He probably knew more than my father did since I left out a few parts. But I'm pretty sure my father had some idea. I've never been that wet before in my entire life.
"Billy," Jacob called out. Billy turned the volume down with the remote. Almost as if he expected to hear something important.
"Yes Jacob?"
"We have something to tell you," Jacob said proudly.
Billy had a smile on his face. He turned his wheelchair to face us.
"Nessie wants to marry me!"
"That's wonderful. I'm so happy for the both of you!"
"But don't tell anyone… including Charlie. She hasn't talked to her entire family about it yet."
"Mum's the word," Billy sighed. "Thank you Nessie… for making my son so happy."
"Oh… you're welcome."
Jacob swopped me off my feet and spun me around in circles. I let out a scream. He set me down and kissed me on the lips.
"So when are you going to talk to your family?" Billy asked.
"Tonight," we both said in unison.
"Are you up for this?" Jacob asked.
"Yes."
"Are you ready for my father's interrogations?" I asked.
"As ready as I'll ever be."
"Well good luck to you both." Billy chucked.
"We're going to go for a walk. Do you need anything before I go?" Jacob asked.
"No… I'm fine. You kids go enjoy yourselves."
I walked over to Billy and gave him a kiss on his cheek. "Aww… Thanks Nessie."
Jacob and I walked over to First Beach. We had our long awaited privacy. It seemed like everyone knew not to disturb us. We talked for hours. We decided to get married in a few weeks near my birthday since my entire family would be here that week. Everything was happening so fast, but I didn't mind. Jacob asked could he massage my feet. I never had my feet massaged before. This was new to me. After a few minutes he started kissed my toes making me roar in laughter. I almost didn't notice my phone buzzing.
"Wait… Wait! My phone." I went to go check it.
"It's my mother. She texed that she's back."
"You want me to go with you?"
"Can you come by in a few hours? I need some time to talk to her."
"Sure."
Jacob stood up and pulled me up with his hand. He grabbed my shoes.
"May I have my shoes back please?"
"These shoes?" Jacob said playfully.
I snatched the shoes out of his hand in a split second. "Hey," he said as he noticed my quick maneuver. I stood on my toes to kiss him. He leaned over and kissed me and I gently bit his lip. He smiled and kissed me deeper. I was getting use to kissing him… but it felt as exciting each time.
"My parents are going to smell you all over me."
"I'm sure Eddie already did. Plus it's difficult for me to behave," he said smirking.
"Just think… in a few weeks you don't have to behave at all," I said softly.
"I like how you think," Jacob said nodding his head.
I sighed.
"Well, let me get the hard part over with." Jacob took my hand and placed it on him. "Funny," I commented. "You know my dad may try to read your mind tonight. I don't want it filled with corrupted images of you trying to corrupt my innocent mind."
Jacob chuckled. I kissed him again. We walked to his house so that I could get my uncles pants. Even though I was excited to see my mom… I wanted the time I spent with Jake to last a bit longer. We walked at a normal pace as he held my hand. I stared at his hand for a while. I've held his hand so many times as a child. But this time it was totally different. I was excited to touch his warm skin. And just the scent of him made my mouth water… along with other parts of me. If I were a human blood craving vampire… I would be on his neck right this minute. He looks so good. I playfully jumped on his back and wrapped my arms around his shoulders with my mouth open ready to gently bite him. Instead I licked the rim of his ear and felt his body shutter.
"Ness please. If you wanna make it home… I suggest you don't do that to me."
"Why… I like the way you taste."
Jacob chuckled.
"I like the way you taste too," he said in a sexy voice that made my insides tingle harshly.
"I can't wait until you taste all of me," I thought.
"Whoa," Jake said out of the blue. I thought he saw something up a head or forgot something important.
"Whoa what?" I asked.
"Oh nothing."
Hmm… I know he didn't hear what I thought because my shield was up. So what prompted that? Well I don't think he heard?
When we arrived at his house he ran upstairs to get the bag. It didn't take much longer for me to hear him rumble back down the stairs. I really didn't want to leave him but I knew I had to have this conversation with my mom in private. There was so much that I had to tell her… and ask her. I smiled at Jake once he reached the door. The way he gazed at me almost made me melt into a pool. I reached out and gave him a big hug pressing his chest against my face. I counted his heart beats as I held him. It was hard for me but I let him go on the twenty third one. Jake leaned down and kissed me for a few minutes. I savored each nibble and slide of his hot tongue... his hot breath flowing inside my mouth. My entire body surrendered to him as he caressed my ass and lower back. When we were done, Jake handed me the plastic bag that he dropped when we were kissing. I regretfully said goodbye and slipped into the forest. I missed him already. Even thought about turning back around to kiss him once more. But I knew my mom was waiting for me. And I really wanted to talk to her. I have all night to be with Jake. So the sooner I get this over with… the sooner I'll be back in his arms.
I quickly ran so that I could see my mother. I haven't seen her in a few days and I was missing her terribly. I felt like I was going to cry the second I saw her beautiful face. I flew in the house. Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper were in the living room. I hugged my pixie of an aunt; I tower over her 4 ft. 10 frame. "Aunt Alice! Uncle Jasper!" I reached up to hug my Uncle Jasper who is a bit taller than my father; standing at 6 ft. 3. We almost look the same age since he was turned at twenty and Aunt Alice was turned at nineteen. They both have more experience than an average young adult being born over a hundred years ago.
"Renesmee, we missed you. I heard you had an interesting week," Aunt Alice said.
"Yeah," I answered.
"I'm pretty sure you handled it well," Uncle Jasper said.
"Not as well as I would if you were here," I commented.
Uncle Jasper smiled.
"Your mother is upstairs in your room," Aunt Alice said.
I went upstairs. My mother had my door open. She was looking at a photo album of me sitting on my bed. She looked up at me when I reached the door. I knew if she could produce tears she would have them in her eyes. Her face was scrunched up.
"Mom."
"Renesmee."
My eyes started to tear. I rushed over to her arms and cried enough tears for the both of us.