3rd January 1999 (First day back at work)

Dear Diary

I'm not doing well on my resolutions. Why? Because of one man.

Finn Hudson. the man that I spend all day every day fantasizing over. He, who in turn, will never look twice at me. He's got me drinking, smoking and looking for all other forms of distraction. Despite all my resolutions, why can I not seem to get him out of my head? I've sat at my desk outside his plexiglass walled office for long enough for him to notice me if he was ever going to. But for various slightly unfair reasons relating to this year's Christmas party, I suspect that he does NOT fantasize about me! We'd been doing 'table top' karaoke and just as I was about to dazzle him with my amazing diva voice (because yes it is totally diva), those damn bubbles in the champagne kicked in and I lost my footing, resulting in an inadvertent crowd surfing moment culminating in the need for plasters from the first aid box.

But maybe today might just be my lucky day…

Mercedes looked across the open plan office to see a huge whale of a man in thick glasses shambling his way across the room towards Finn's office.

"Happy New Year MrFitzherbert!" She cringed internally as he unashamedly mentally undressed her as he walked past her desk.

"Happy New Year Porsche!" His voice held a fake enthusiasm.

Mr Fitzherbert... 'Tits Pervert' more like! Finn's boss who stares freely at my breasts with absoloutely no idea who I am or what I do! It was pointless trying to correct him on the simple matter of my name. It always defaults back to Porsche anyway.

Mercedes was pulled from her thoughts by the feel of a glare from the older woman sitting across from her, holding a phone up to her ear. "Morning Mercedes! I need the final draft of that press release by 11!"

Mercedes looked across her desk at the prematurely ageing redhead and sighed. Sue Sylvester. Slightly (ahem) older and more senior than me and therefore thinks she's totally in charge of me. Most of the time I just want to staple things to her head...

She was pulled out of her thoughts of creative ways to inflict pain by the sound of her desk phone ringing. The voice on the other side didn't even give her a chance to say 'hello' before she started.

"All I asked is if we could go away for a minibreak to Paris..." Daily call from Tina, best friend. Head of investment at Brightlings Bank who spends most of her time trapped in the ladies toilet crying over fuckwit boyfriend.

"Am I too needy? Am I co-dependent?"

Mercedes sighed. They had this conversation at least once a week. She had the words completely memorized. "No you're not. It's not you. You're lovely. It's vile Sebastian. Ugh! He's just a vile dickhead with no dick-"

She looked up to see Finn standing in front of her with a smile on his face, clearly listening to and enjoying her conversation. If there was time to curl up and die she would but she needed to think faster than that. "-is some people's opinion of Sir Anthony, which is why I have made sure there is no mention of his name in the press release. Thank you for calling to confirm that Mr Andrews."

Finn caught her rabbit caught in the headlights brown eyes with his laughing ones and handed her two sheets of paper. "Guest list for the launch party."

"Thanks!" She quickly grabbed the papers from him and averted her eyes in an attempt to hide the hot flush that was flooding through her body from his mere close proximity. Today's suit was tailored to perfection, and he'd done away with his tie, opting to work with his collar open and chest ever so slightly exposed. With any luck he would quickly go back to his desk where she could ogle him in complete safety through the plexiglass.

But luck was not going to be on her side today. After taking a couple of steps away from her desk he turned back towards her with an exaggerated frown. "Was that our nemesis Andrews you were talking to?"

She forced a smile despite the heavy sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as she nodded slowly. "Uh huh!" Just go with it…

He widened his eyes and opened his mouth in wonder. "Wow! Andrews from the third floor writing department? Little geeky chap with a severe dandruff problem?"

"Yep…" Mercedes nodded again, but this time it was a slow unsure nod.

"The same Oscar Andrews who is currently…" Finn paused to look dramatically at his watch, "…three hours into his flight to spend a month working at our newly opened Hong Kong office?"

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

"Amazing!" Finn shook his head to himself in amused disbelief and headed back to his desk.

Cue emergency summit with urban family for coherent discussion of career crisis in some snazzy new wine bar in Canary Wharf:

The bar was packed and the four of them sat at the last available table.

"Fuck 'em! Fuck the lot of them! Tell them they can stick fucking Andrews up their fucking asses!" Santana Lopez was in a good mood. The beautiful Latina was wearing one of her trademark little black dresses with bright red lipstick which stood in perfect contrast to her olive skin. As was her custom, her hair was up in a tight ponytail. If it was down then everyone who knew her knew to keep their heads down and stay out of trouble. The rumours of her keeping weapons in her hair when it was loose had been proven true on more than one occasion. When she was in a bad mood, Santana's speech descended into a form of curse-ridden Spanglish that nobody understood even though she was a Londoner born and bred.

Yet somehow, despite all of this, she had an excellent job as a successful journalist, proving that she could use the English language correctly if she put her mind to it. But clearly, Mercedes' recital of today's events had amused her immensely.

Mercedes turned to her other girlfriend for reassurance. "Tina, what would you do if your assistant made a harmless little mistake like that?" Surely she would have more sympathy seeing as it was her phone call at work that landed her in this mess in the first place?

Tina narrowed her eyes into a glare and pulled her face closer. "I'd fire you Cedes!" she said in a tone that left more than enough room for reasonable doubt that she might actually do it given the chance.

"Excellent." This was going well…

"Is that Hudson chap still as cute as ever?"

Mercedes downed the last of her drink with a sigh. "Oh god yes!"

Kurt licked his lips in response. He was the final member of their close knit urban family, having become friends with Mercedes in primary school, where even then it was clear that he was as gay as they came. His response was the same one he always gave. "Then I think you should suck his-"

"Noooooo…" All three females joined together in their disapproval of his suggestion. Everything came down to sex for Kurt Hummel. The porcelain skinned aspiring actor had managed to blag his way into drama school, but despite several unsuccessful bids to get serious work with his classically trained voice in the West End, he had sold out by writing and releasing a hugely selling one hit wonder pop single. He then retired because he found that one record was quite enough to get him laid for the rest of the 90s.

"So, Cedes darling, I haven't seen you since you went up to visit mummy and daddy outside of the urban jungle. How did it go?"

She rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically.

"Let me guess," grinned Tina, "Mummy put you in some outfit made out of a tea cosy and tried to set you up with some middle-aged doctor."

"Close, but not quite." Mercedes stubbed her cigarette out in the already overflowing ashtray. "The outfit was made out of a curtain and he was a barrister."

Santana shrugged. "Near enough. Cute?"

"Surprisingly yes."

All three friends subconsciously leaned in closer. "But he was a complete tosser! It didn't matter if he was better looking than Brad Pitt. The guy's head is so far up his own arse that it's lodged somewhere in his chest cavity!"

"Sounds like you're better off without him!"

"Exactly! So what if he's wealthy. If he thinks he can just swagger around with that stupid American accent of his making insults and sweeping generalizations about people he doesn't know then he's got another thing coming!"

Tina stroked her hand sympathetically. "He sounds like a complete nightmare!"

"He is!" So why can't I just let it go and forget about him?

Kurt took a long drag on his cigarette. "You know, what you need to do is get this Hudson bloke to give you a good hard shag, then you'll be less tense about everything else!"

Mercedes shot him a look that told him that wasn't going to happen either this or the other side of the Millennium before heading to the bar for another round of drinks hoping to obliterate the last few days from her memory.

4th January

Dear Diary

What the hell possessed me to think that now I'm in my 30s I can hold my drink? I can't. And worse than that, which Smart Alec had the idea to go out drinking on a midweek work night? Oh yes, that would've been ME! I just wish that I would be able to get away with dark glasses in the office but I dare not let Finn or Fitzherbert catch me out again!

Need to do something to distract from my hangover...

Just because she felt like crap, didn't mean that she had to look like it too.

Mercedes knew that she was looking fine as she walked past Finn's office, smoothing down her high waisted short pencil skirt that emphasized her curves like nobody's business. And teamed with killer heels, she knew that it made her shapely legs look fabulous. Sadly, not only was she fifteen minutes late, with no tube delays to blame it on, but Fitzherbert was already in the office with him, glaring at her through the plexiglass.

"Good afternoon Mercedes!" Sue smiled sarcastically over at her as she slid into her seat. As usual the woman had her phone plastered to her ear. Something about a bathroom not having enough room to swing a cat. Everyone knew that she was currently house-hunting but nobody seemed to bat an eyelid at the sheer amount of personal calls the woman was making.

Fitzherbert finally left Finn's office, and even from across the room, she could feel him gazing intently at her breasts as he made his way towards the door. The man had to be long sighted or something to see them from that distance!

Just as she was about to check her virtual diary for the day, an internal email pinged up on her screen. Nothing unusual. That was, until she noticed that the name in the sender line was the one and only Finn Hudson. What the hell did he want? He never emails me!

Things got worse as she looked down at the subject line, only to see the words 'Serious Problem.'

This could never be good when coming immediately after a morning meeting with Fitzherbert. Last night's drinking had served to dull the memory of yesterday's faux pas, but nothing would be able to completely erase it.

With a deep breath she finally pulled together the courage to open the email. The message was short and to the point.

From: Finn Hudson

To: Mercedes Jones

Subject: Serious Problem

You appear to have forgotten your skirt! Is skirt off sick?

Mercedes made a sound that was a cross between a choke and a laugh. Out of disbelief she re-read the message before looking across to Finn in his office. He was on the phone, facing his computer and paying no attention to her whatsoever. Looking around the room, everyone, including Sue, was getting on with their own business. Nobody cared that Mercedes was blushing furiously and feeling heat in a part of her body which had recently been sadly neglected.

Well if this is what you want Finn, then two can play this game!

She thought carefully for a moment before tapping the keys furiously with her reply.

From: Mercedes Jones

To: Finn Hudson

Subject: re: Serious Problem

Am appalled by message. Skirt is demonstrably neither sick nor absent. Appalled by management's blatantly size-ist attitude to skirt. Suggest management sick, not skirt.

Take that you sucker!

Hitting send on her message felt glorious for a whole three seconds before panic set in. Should she really have said that? She watched Finn carefully through the glass. He was still talking intently on the phone. But then he leaned forward and tapped a couple of times on his keyboard, his face clearly registering surprise as he read her message.

Without ending the call he turned to face her, catching her eyes and locking her in to in intense stare. "Oh I understand that. I that completely!" The words were into the phone to his caller but Mercedes knew that they were actually for her too.

11th January

Weight: 167 pounds

Cigarettes: 17

Alcohol units 3 (I am trying to be a good girl… ish…)

Very bad start to the year! Have been seduced by informality of messaging medium into flirting with office scoundrel! Will persevere, with resolution to find a nice, sensible man. Will put a stop to flirting… first thing tomorrow!

Good plan…

Mercedes walked into the office in her shortest skirt yet. It was one that she hadn't worn in a long time. Since she had put on weight it clung to her ass like nobody's business. But now that she'd noticed Finn staring at her ass on numerous occasions, she thought it only right that he actually have something worth looking at for a change. Teamed with a vintage style pair of tights with a fake seam down the back of each leg and her killer heels she knew she was playing with fire. But she just couldn't put those damn matches back down now that she had taken them out of the box!

This time the skirt was teamed up with a shirt with one button too many open, revealing the smallest flash of her favourite purple bra. Her freshly tonged hair was spritzed into a Farrah Fawcett flick which she'd become adept at flicking over one shoulder whenever she drew eye level with him.

Despite being in a meeting with four department heads, Finn made no attempt to hide the fact that he was staring at her as she walked past for the third time clutching a file. She could have done the journey once, bringing all three files with her at the same time, but where was the fun in that? This was the most male attention she'd had in a long time and she was going to milk it for all that it was worth. And the fact that it was coming from the luscious Finn Hudson... Sod all the other women previously seen through the glass wall. Once he had a taste of her he would never be going back!

To: Mercedes Jones

From: Finn Hudson

Subject: I am now quite alarmed!

If repeatedly walking past office was an attempt to demonstrate presence of skirt, I can only say that it has completely and utterly failed.

To: Finn Hudson

From: Mercedes Jones

Subject: re: I am now quite alarmed!

Shut up please. I am very busy working on something important.
P.S. How dare you sexually harass me in this impertinent manner!

To: Mercedes Jones

From: Finn Hudson

Subject: re: I am now quite alarmed!

Mortified to have caused offence. Will avoid all non-PC overtones in future. Deeply apologetic.
P.S. Like your tits in that blouse!

Mercedes bit her lip in an attempt to fight the smile that was growing on her mouth. Mustn't read too much into this… Tumm ta tatummm…

She hummed the wedding march to herself as she imagined being surrounded by her friends and family at their wedding. Of course, Finn would have to say something in his speech about how it all started with some very irresponsible emailing over her non-existent skirt...

She quickly shook her head and brought herself back to reality. Other than eye sexing her at her desk through the glass of his office, they had had no other 'non-virtual' contact. This particular piece of hotness
was going to remain firmly in cyberspace.

Until…

Just as the doors of the lift were closing on her and Brian from accounts to take them out of the building for the night, a strong hand gripped the door and broke the sensor, causing it to open again and in walked Finn, looking like he had just stepped out of a catalogue as per usual.

Mercedes purposely refused to make eye contact with him, and again the doors were prevented from closing. This time by Sue who was in hot pursuit of Finn. "The New York office is holding for you!"

He shot a quick look to Mercedes that she didn't understand before saying, "Yeah, just tell them that I'll get back to them."

This time the lift door did completely close and she fought back a smile as she inhaled his cologne. After an uncomfortable few seconds they stopped and Brian got out.

He leaned in closer to her "Jones…"

The universe was clearly against them because before the doors had a chance to close and allow them some privacy, Fitzherbert himself walked in.

"Evening Shane."

"Evening Finn."

By this time, he'd managed to strategically place himself behind her with his hand on the small of her waist. Her eyes widened as his hand travelled lower and within seconds he was firmly cupping her ass. What could she possibly say with Fitzherbert literally inches away from them? The sexual tension could be cut with a knife despite the fact that they both kept their faces expressionless. Plus there was also the fact that she actually kind of liked the feeling of where the hand was. What she could do with was his other hand joining it there, preferably with her back pressed up against one of the sides of the life while her legs wrapped around him. Yep. Now that was a fantasy and a half!

Within seconds they'd reached the ground floor and the larger man spoke up yet again to Finn. "If you have a minute, I'd like a word with you before I leave tonight."

"Yes. Certainly."

"Excellent."

"I'll see you in a sec." He quickly ushered Mercedes out in the opposite direction to the one Fitzherbert had taken.

"Oh and Porsche?"

"Yes?" Finn shot her a look for responding to that name and her reply was to glare back at him.

"At the launch tomorrow, it thought it might be fun if you introduce me before I go on stage. Add a lovely sense of occasion." He finished the sentence with a lingering stare at her breasts before turning away.

She faked a smile. "Certainly sir!"

Lost in thought at how the hell she was going to manage with public speaking, her musings were broken by a voice hissing, "Porsche!"

Looking up she laughed at Finn who was doing a rather poor impression of Fitzherbert. Well, all parts of the impression were poor other than the lingering stare at her breasts which he managed to get bang on.

"What are you doing tonight?" Her eyes widened at the question.

"Erm... Actually I'm busy." Yep. I'm pretty sure there's ironing that needs to be done…

He looked surprised. "Right. Well that's a shame. I thought I might… Well I thought it might be a charitable thing to take your skirt out to dinner and try and fatten it up a bit."

"Hmmm." She smiled, trying her best not to look too excited about the prospect as she pulled on her coat. Don't play too easy to get!

But he wasn't giving up. "Maybe you come too!" he added as he helped her pull her coat over her shoulders, despite the fact that she didn't actually need any help. She kept smiling and he pushed harder.

"What about tomorrow?"

"Noo! Tomorrow's the launch!"

"Yes. Of course. Launching a product that Apple beat us to three months ago!"

She smiled and started to walk away. Finn Hudson was asking her out and she was playing hard to get. Wait until I tell Santana and the crew about this!

He called out after her. "Next night?"

The smile that crossed her face was the largest one she'd had in a long time. "We'll see shall we!" she said as she made her way towards the revolving front door. "Night Finn!"

Well well… Things just got really interesting…