She slammed the locker hard and glared at him standing on the other side. "What do you want Johnny!" She demanded viciously turning her face to look at him. She was a pretty girl if you got past her disfigured nose, which appeared to have been broken or smashed multiple times and the scars, she had lots of those to spare.
He grimaced as he noticed the "goth" makeup she usually wore couldn't hide the nasty looking black eye she had. He was certain he knew why she had one, the entire school had their suspicions, but no one actually cared. He liked to think he cared but what could you do about child abuse?
"Err...sorry I didn't mean to disturb you I was just-"
"No sorry, shouldn't have snapped, you know? Just stress nothing else. Here," She handed him a paper. "I typed up our report, sorry I had to change a few things, I couldn't read some of your writing, it was all scribbles in some places."
"Uh thanks. Lilly?" He wanted to, needed to find out about her bruises, he felt like she didn't deserve that kind of treatment. Some people just deserved some form of justice, even if society refused to hand it out.
She eyed him curiously but guarded, nervously she pulled a strand of her dyed black hair behind her ear. "Yes?"
Nny shook his head. "Never mind, meet you in class."
Johnny thought she too was very human and he would've liked to have been her friend. The only thing that set him off about her was her "goth" persona; he thought labeling yourself was stupid. She only faked the whole "goth" thing in large social settings; otherwise he rather liked her as herself. But he still hated goths or any other annoying stereotype.
Lilly was nice and humorous and didn't stare at him funny. But she was very guarded and never let anyone in close enough to be her friend, he was like that too, but at least he was open enough to have two friends. She said she didn't need friends, didn't want them. They ask too many questions, she'd said, she doesn't like questions.
"You know, people are talking about how you dismembered your parents and then mutilated and devoured your sister." Lilly began quietly and nonchalantly, never glancing up from the book she was scanning.
He stared at her. "That's ridiculous." Her green eyes flickered up to meet his. "I don't have a sister." He grinned and a small smile formed on her lips.
"I didn't think you were a malicious murderer." She remarked wistfully and placed the book on the small table they were sitting at in the farthest corner of the library. "But people talk, they're always talking." She glared as she stared at the people in the room.
They had been brought here by their English teacher so that the students could work farther on their end of the year projects which still weren't due for another week. The two introverted students that had been paired up had already completed their assignment a week ago and now had nothing better to do then just pretend they were still working.
"I don't care too much for bodily fluids, why would I want to draw blood...and ingest it. Disgusting." Johnny explained and quirked an eyebrow. "I know you're thinking it, but I don't know what happened to my parents and if I'd had any siblings I don't remember them either. I'm starting to wonder if I'd ever had a family."
"That's stupid." She snorted. "Everyone has a family, good or bad, there or not. You had to come from somewhere." Lilly said scrunching her nose. She glanced at him before looking back out at all of their peers. "You really don't know what happened to them?"
"No." He answered in a low voice. "I guess that can be perceived as a bad thing, but I don't think they were very good parents, which is probably why I don't have any memories of them or any fond feelings toward the idea of parents."
She gazed at him steadily her eyebrows knitted. "It doesn't worry you at all? You know...not knowing where they are or what happened or why they left you behind."
Johnny leaned back and rested his hands behind his head. "It should, shouldn't it?" He stretched and yawned casually then leaned forward in his seat, arms resting in front of him on the table top. "Now, I thought you didn't like questions."
She bit her lip and fumbled at the book in front of her. "Uh...I don't." She blushed lightly. "Sorry."
"It's nothing..."
Nny let his mind wander as Lilly returned to her book, H.P. Lovecraft or something of that sort. His eyes observed the room and just like always strange thoughts came jumping in his head. The layout of the library, it was too easy, all he would need was something of the blunt nature and he could take everyone out, easy.
He shook his head, why had his mind delved so far into violence against other people? It wasn't like him; at least he was sure it wasn't supposed to be like him. He was supposed to be peace loving, like Ada and Mike, they hated wars, they hated killing, hell they wouldn't even eat meat. He wanted to be more like them but he just couldn't shake the images of death and violence from his mind.
It'd be fun...
"What the fuck?" He looked around and saw Lilly flashing him a disturbed look. He waved his hand at her gesturing that it was nothing she shrugged and fell into her book again.
Johnny looked about him curiously, that had sounded so much like an external voice, but he could've been imagining things. Yes imagining things. He watched people, that was always fun, observing others as they went about unaware that someone was watching their less prideful actions. He tended to go unnoticed when he wasn't in anyone's direct path.
A rather large muscular boy knocked into a scrawny freshman. "Watch it dickweed, I'm a V.I.P that's a very important person." He stated in a contradicting manner as he was quite obviously very dimwitted.
The little red-headed freshman boy bent down to pick up his dropped books. "I-I'm sorry...I didn't mean..."
"Fuck you didn't you little nerd." The jock spat and kicked a book away from the boy's hand. "Sorry didn't mean it." He mocked.
"Please don't do that." The red-head requested weakly bending over again to retrieve the book.
By this time the meat-head had grown aggressive, a side effect of his own boredom and sadistic nature and steroids, it was likely those were thrown into the mix too. "Shit you think you can tell me what to do, pencil neck?" He pushed the boy over, Johnny stared in disbelief as any adult intervention was avoided as a fat librarian looked at the scene but continued walking by.
The boy rubbed his forehead meekly and pushed his glasses back into his nose. "I'm not looking for any trouble-"
"Well you found trouble motherfucker." He delivered a swift kick to the boy's stomach which caused him to fall backward and his already loose glasses to fly from his face. He rolled over and coughed at the harsh kick but was met with another.
By this point Johnny had seen enough, he leapt up and hurried forward slinking past the gathering crowd of laughing and jeering onlookers, not one made a comment about the inappropriate behavior of the jock. "Get up you little bitch." The kid staggered to his feet and received a punch in the face.
Johnny grabbed the next punch and held the jock's fist tightly and pushed his arm back. "I think you've had your fill of beating on the defenseless." People gasped at the strength of the tall thin boy, people knew he was dangerous, but had no idea of what he was truly capable of.
"You god damn faggot, who do you think you are?!" Kevin snarled his eyes wide, no one ever challenged him.
Johnny took a step back and folded his arms behind his back. "Johnny C. but I think you already knew that huh Kevin?" Johnny looked at the small crowd of kids. "What the hell is wrong with you people, what do you find so enthralling in such a barbaric form of monkey brutality? What do you have to gain from watching someone innocent suffer when they've done nothing? Answer me! Does no one else see a problem here?!"
"Look everyone, the skinny little faggot thinks he's so noble." Kevin laughed. "Listen here Faggy McFaggerson, nobody cares what fag thing you have to say. God damn faggot."
Make him pay Nny, make him pay.
A small spasm of anger jolted through Nny's body, his eye twitched and twisted smile formed across his face. "You're right Kevin..." He paced away toward an empty table and stopped and turned his head to meet eyes with the opposing force.
He laughed lightly but the tone of it was almost delirious. "What do these people care about what I have to say? But let's get one thing straight..." His shoulders tensed and his hands wrapped around the back of the chair and he lifted it over his head and with full force slammed it down on Kevin's head. "My name's not faggot it's Johnny!"
Splinters of wood went flying off of Kevin's head and he crumpled to the ground the chair in three pieces beside him. "Ow..."
"Oh my God! Noodle Boy just...oh my God!"
"Holy shit! He just killed Kevin!"
"He's insane! He's insane!"
"Damn mofo is crazy."
Johnny turned to the red-headed boy ignoring everyone's terrfied expressions around him. "Now then..." He bent down and grabbed the glasses and handed them to him. "You might as well run along and don't let what these idiots say and do to you ever change who you are. Remember I'm no better than them for regressing to their level."
The boy took the glasses and stumbled off just as the vice-principal erupted behind him. "Johnny C. the office! Now!" The stout little man shouted.
"Do you know what this means Johnny?" Lilly asked she appeared behind him her arms folded across her chest and an indifferent stare on her face.
He nodded his head slowly not even bothering to look at her. "Yeah, I'm a total hypocrite."
--
"Erm..." A nervous looking counselor stared at him from her desk; she had auburn hair pulled into a loose ponytail and a tired face. He smiled at her eerily, knowing well she was unnerved. "Um...hitting other students is... bad."
"Don't you think I know that?" He responded leaning foreword with a glare. "I only did what was necessary, I only applied enough force to knock him out, he'll be fine and will be able to quarterback for your precious football team. That's why you all care so much, because he's a star?"
"Uh...no, we treat all our students as equal-"
"Bullshit." He then began laughing. "You're paid to care, to you I'm just another lost cause they dumped on you to "fix" to which you'll administer the least amount of action to helping me, then send me on my way saying you've done your job. The state will be happy, the school will be happy, and everyone will be peachy keen."
Mrs. McBrian bowed her head and sighed. "You're right, they did just dump you on me because you hit a star quarterback, and no one cares that he was beating up another boy. There was a sense of nobility in your action Johnny, but it doesn't make it right. And upon further examination of your file I've noticed you've made disturbing comments to people...about killing others and... yourself."
Nny let out another laugh. "And who hasn't? Who hasn't told someone they'd kill them, or stated that they just wanted to blow their brains out?"
"It's not healthy-"
"Lady don't lie to me. As a psychologist you can't say you're not deeply disturbed by the lack of human civility in this school, people being faced with ostracism and degradation for nothing else but their looks or their lifestyle choices. Does it not sicken you? Does it?!" He leaped up and slammed his fists on her desks.
She drew back, her eyes wide her body trembling, she'd been warned about him, but she tried to convince herself it wasn't true. "It's h-horrible, I know...but please Johnny this is how society works, the world works. It's just how it goes." She stuttered
"Why?" He seethed backing away from her desk and walking about her office. "I'll tell you why because we let it happen, we let it continue, this sick game of ranks and superiority. The system is corrupt and people are too stupid to do a damn thing about it, more content in their viral lives, too terrified to make a change. Why do people fear change?!"
"I don't...I don't know. I know you get teased a lot but please for your sake, just ignore it or at least try to get some adult's attention. Don't hurt anyone anymore; you're lucky they aren't pressing charges. The school won't suspend you on the grounds they'd have to suspend Kevin too...so you're off the hook."
He snorted his face twisted in disgust. "You're not much of a therapist." Johnny said running a hand through his black hair.
"I used to love my job." She said quietly while hanging her head.
And with that Johnny left her alone in her office. Confused and slightly disappointed, even if she saw the injustice in this school, he expected a bit more fire from her. Or at least for her to address his obvious disconnection with the student body. He stared at his hands, they were bleeding slightly, he hadn't even noticed. "Well fuck..."
"Hey Johnny." A bright voice greeted as he exited the student service's office. He turned and looked to see a large blond girl with her hair pulled into a high bouncy ponytail, her bright blue eyes covered in pink eye shadow and her lips in an annoying shimmer lip gloss.
"Um hello...person."
She giggled. "Silly, my name's Stephanie, Steph." Her voice was high pitched and almost too obnoxious to listen to, but he remembered her from the coffee shop and she had defended his name even at the risk of her reputation. This was not a common occurrence in his life.
"Ah, Stephanie, yes I remember now. Shouldn't you be off with your friends griping about how I killed your friend and gossiping about how crazy I am? 'Cause I hear I dismembered my parents and ate my sister."
She giggled again and this time she placed her hand on his shoulder. "Ha Kevin's been hit in the head lots of times, I don't think like this time it made much of a difference. And I don't like think what you did was crazy, I thought it was kinda sweet." A faint blush reached her cheeks. "I don't think you're nuts at all."
Aw she likes you, bash her head in!
"Uh..um thanks, hey you're pretty funny. But listen to me, you shouldn't idolize what I am or what I do...I might just be crazy."
Again she giggled, she seemed to do it a lot, maybe it was a nervous habit. "Now look who's the comedian. You're silly." Twice, she described him as silly, twice, he couldn't help but be irked but it, but instead he chose to ignore it for her sake.
"Well love to stay and chat some more, but I have to get to work, my boss is a real slave driver. Later uh Steph-person." Nny got out of that situation as quick as he can, he hated awkward situations he didn't handle them well. And that was putting it lightly.
--
"What happened to your hands?" Ada exclaimed as she pulled splinters out. "You didn't get into a fight did you?"
Johnny hunched his shoulders and had to resist the urge to stuff his hands into his pockets as Ada held them and was working with tweezers to pull out the small bits of wood lodged in them. "Maybe..."
"With what, a pile of logs!"
"A chair..." He muttered.
Ada stopped and looked at him with a baffled look. "You fought a chair?"
Nny burst out laughing she began laughing to at the absurdity of the image. "No, Ada, that's just craziness." He grew serious. "But I uh...used a chair." He murmured.
She cocked her head as she stared at him. "You're serious?" He nodded as she plucked another splinter from his hand. "Oh Johnny you know how I feel about that sort of thing. There is always a way around violence."
"Not this time and before you lecture me about there being no such thing as necessary violence, trust me, that big jock kid was probably two hundred pounds and the younger kid he was beating on was probably only one hundred. No one stopped him, no one but me and a chair."
"Is he okay?" She asked tightening her grip on his hands.
The last thing she needed to see was Nny being hauled off to jail. He had too much potential to ruin it all now, she believed he'd rise above this town and free himself of the insufficient empty lives they all led here. He may have been forced to live through a lot of shit, but somehow he'd be better than them all.
"He'll be fine, he had enough meat in his head." Nny responded darkly and turned his head away. "If you're finished I'd like to go sweep now, like a good slave boy."
Ada shook her head and released his hand. "Fine, go work. If you find anymore I'll leave the tweezers at the front desk, alright?"
What does she know? She questions you...so lovely yet so naive. You should show her real violence, real necessary violence. Teach everyone the lesson they need to know, people are so absorbed in their own ideals they refuse to learn anything new unless forced. You have so much potential Johnny...so much unrestrained potential.
"Who are you voice-person? I don't like you very much and I don't like what you have to say. Please leave me to my own thoughts." Nny muttered as he swept one of the empty tattooing rooms.
Come now Johnny you've been fighting me off for years, I've got to say it's done a number on me. Everything you've decided has been influenced by me, from the good to the evil. You never seem to remember me and always try to push me away. I know what's best for you, they all taunt you call you a psychopath, a killer...even they see your potential, why don't you?
"I'm not doing anything; I'm only trying to do my work. No one else tells me what to do or decides for me, I decide for me. Not you. I'm not a murderer, killing is such a vulgar thing, and I have no reason to. So why don't you go, I no longer wish to discuss anything with you."
Everything comes to change...even you.
I'm not sure if it's just my computer or what but every time I check the Jhonen Vasquez section here on my story isn't present there at all...I can't figure it out. For the few people who found this by some random means I thank you for your reviews and for reading. Still more to come.