"Starting Over"
Rating: PG
Spoilers: "Shifting Sands"; vague for prior episodes.
Keywords: Harm/Mac; not really romantic; Harm POV
Disclaimer: blah blah blah, not making a dime.
AN: Not really a sequel, but a companion to "Conviction."
I never really thought I'd have to change careers again.
I guess, in some corner of my mind, I knew that at some point I would have to leave the Navy, but I always thought I would retire, go into private legal practice. Or maybe move to Pennsylvania and help my Grandmother with the farm.
After the disaster of 4 years ago, I never thought I'd go back to flying full-time.
I didn't really think I'd have to make these decisions without my best friend by my side, without her in my life.
She buttered his toast, for crying out loud! It looked so...domestic.
I gave up everything I'd ever dreamed of to find her, and I still couldn't follow through. I couldn't say the words. I was a coward.
I've had a recurring dream the last couple of weeks. I somehow meet a genie. A woman genie. Very sarcastic. I only had one wish: to go back to that night in Paraguay; to take back all of the snide, childish comments.
One thing I said was true. I'd forgotten how beautiful she is.
It doesn't seem all that long ago that we were close to...to something. Before Singer was found and I was on trial for murder. We never got a chance to get our footing back after that. I was cleared and released, and just a few days later she left the country.
She said it would never work, but I'm not so sure.
I always used the UCMJ as an excuse with her. I could hide my feelings under my devotion to my career.
Mac would never deny that being a Naval Officer was my life. She couldn't know how many years she had come first for me.
She couldn't know because I couldn't tell her.
Maybe I can now. I drive to Falls Church once a week just wanting to talk to her. I drive through Georgetown, managing to get 2 blocks from her building before I turn around.
I know what I want to say.
I just need to find the words.
End.