Safe

This takes place shortly after Broken Circle, which goes a little differently for Isabel and Alistair than it does in-game (she sees her family and their subsequent murder, and he sees the Wardens at Ostagar before they all die). Relationship-wise, they're not together yet, though Alistair already has feelings for Isabel. She's almost there, which is something new to her since she's only had actual feelings for someone once before Alistair.

Isabel wakes with a start, covered in a cold sweat, her heart beating fast in her ears. Her chest constricts painfully, her vision swimming as she struggles for air. Reaching out to Bear beside her, she threads her fingers through the sleeping mabari's fur, desperate for something solid and real to hold onto while she tries to calm herself.

Just breathe, she thinks to herself, trying so hard not to focus on the remnants of the nightmare still lingering in her mind, the murder of her family twisted into an even worse horror than her actual memories of it. She is there again, screams piercing her ears, smoke suffocating her lungs as her home burns around her, puddles of crimson blood filling her vision…

Her heartbeat thrums louder in her ears, beating even faster now, her lungs burning as she gasps for air. Throwing her blanket off, she rushes outside her tent, hoping the cool night air and a change of scenery will help. She barely makes it out of her tent before almost walking into someone, stopping herself just before impact.

It's Alistair, his hand coming up to cover his mouth as he yawns.

"Sorry," he mumbles, rubbing his eyes before blinking rapidly. When he finally focuses on her, he snaps awake, his brows drawn together in concern. "Maker, Isabel, you're shaking," he breathes, his hands reaching for her arms wrapped around herself. "What happened? Are you okay?" His fingertips ghost over her arms as he steps closer, his eyes searching her face.

Still hyperventilating, Isabel tries to answer, but all she can muster up is a choked sob as tears began to well in her eyes.

Almost immediately, Alistair pulls her against his chest, hugging her tight. Isabel begins to cry in earnest as she grasps onto his shirt, burying her face in the crook of his neck as her chest heaves uncontrollably.

In time, her focus shifts from her nightmare to the feeling of Alistair's fingertips brushing against her scalp as he runs his hand through her hair, the strands gently tugging on her head as he passes through them. His hand continues its journey south as he rubs her back, and then back up to her hair as he begins again, the soothing hum of his voice as he whispers to her filling her ears, replacing the shrieks from her nightmare. His other arm is securely wrapped around her waist, holding her close, his warm body pressed alongside hers, his scent drifting to her nose instead of the suffocating smoke from her memories.

When Isabel finally calms, breathing regularly once again, she knows she should pull back and thank Alistair for comforting her, but she doesn't want to. She feels so safe in his arms, like no nightmare or darkspawn or anything could ever hurt her, and she hasn't felt that way in a long time… too long. She's not about to give that up.

Instead, she slides her hands around him until she hugs him back, sniffling as she nestles against him even more. Alistair rests his head atop hers as his hand stills, joining the other in holding her close, his grip tightening around her the slightest bit. His steady, strong heartbeat and breaths lull her into a relaxed, sleepy state, and if she weren't still standing, she would have fallen back asleep right there.

It should have scared her, being so comfortable in the arms of someone she hasn't known for very long, but it doesn't. She wonders why, her fingers absently tracing shapes over Alistair's clothed back as her mind wanders. Emotions begin to tug at her heart, familiar yet foreign at the same time, and she begins to understand, a panic rising inside her at what it means. Abruptly, Isabel pulls back from his embrace, not daring to meet his gaze as she chews on her bottom lip.

"I'm sorry," Alistair says, forcing a laugh, "I should really ask before I grab you like that."

Isabel meets his gaze, and he's offering her an apologetic smile. There's a blush on his cheeks, and he's scratching the back of his neck, his gaze darting away before returning to hers. "It's fine," she whispers, feeling a hint of warmth rise to her face as she stares at him.

A tense silence grows between them, reminiscent of the moment of awkwardness that occurred after the first time they had hugged just a few days ago. It was a short, brief thing, born of relief after Isabel drew him from the horrible Fade dream he was in. She had barely hugged him back after her initial surprise before Alistair pulled back, stammering an apology just like he did now.

"Well, if you're feeling better, we should probably get some sleep," he finally says, breaking the silence between them. "Long day of traveling and all that…"

"Alistair, wait," she mutters, reaching for his arm before he can completely turn away from her. He faces her again, eyes locked onto where she touches him, and she jerks her hand back. He lifts his eyes to hers, waiting for her to speak.

"Will you… sleep with me?" she asks, her pulse momentarily spiking at her words. Whatever it is that she feels for him frightens her, but the thought of waking up to another nightmare is even more terrifying. If his hug chased her nightmare away before, surely his presence while she sleeps will do the same, despite anything else it may stir up inside her.

"Sleep with you, ah," Alistair starts, shifting on his feet, his hand twitching at his side. "I know most guys would probably leap at the chance to be with you, but… I don't know if I'm ready for that. It's a big step, and we're… well, we're not, um…" Isabel bites her lip, trying to suppress a smile as Alistair rubs his neck again, his eyes glued to his feet. "I must sound like an idiot," he continues, "I mean… turn down an incredible woman like you? I'd have to be." He meets her gaze, just as a grin spreads across her face, and he swallows hard, eyes wide. "Why are you smiling like that?"

"I meant actual sleeping," Isabel says, snorting a laugh. "You know, where we lay next to each other and close our eyes until we fall asleep?"

The color leaves his face as he stares at her, completely dumbstruck. A blush slowly creeps back into his cheeks and he opens and closes his mouth, struggling for words. "Of course," he clears his throat, "of course that's what you meant." He gulps, his eyes looking everywhere but at her. "Well, now that I handled that with my… usual deft brilliance, time to move on!"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have laughed," Isabel says, smiling. "It was actually kind of cute."

Alistair quirks his eyebrow at her before a chuckle escapes him, his laugh slightly higher pitched than usual. "Just what every man wants to hear." He takes a deep breath and sighs, shrugging as he gave her a shy glance. "I guess I was raised not to take that sort of thing lightly."

"There's nothing wrong with that. I don't take such things lightly, either."

"Oh." Isabel smiles at him, and he returns it with a bashful smile of his own before his eyes grow wide and his brows arch upwards. "Did you still want me to sleep with—sleep next to—you?" he asks, unsure.

"If you're comfortable with that… I would very much appreciate it."

He nods. "I… I am."

After a quick breath of relief, Isabel leads him into her tent. She moves her bedroll away from Bear so they have room to fit side-by-side, and lies down on her back, Alistair lying beside her. She stares up into the darkness, very aware of how their arms touch. Momentarily closing her eyes, she sighs, and then she props herself up on one arm, biting her lip as she meets Alistair's questioning gaze.

"This isn't exactly comforting," she states.

"I, um… do you want me to leave?"

"No, it's not that, I just…" She releases a frustrated breath; Maker, she can't believe she's actually attempting to ask him to cuddle. "Would it be okay if I… rest my head on your chest?"

Alistair stares at her, blinking a few times before clearing his throat. "Of course… yes," he says with a nod, lifting his arm out of the way.

Isabel can feel his eyes on her as she rolls onto her side and slides a bit closer to him, then lowering her head to his chest, placing her hand beside her face. She shifts until her other arm is comfortable beneath her body, and when she's done positioning herself she exhales, her breath slightly unsteady. She feels Alistair's outstretched arm twitch beneath her before he finally wraps it around her shoulders, moving around a bit until he finds a decent position.

"Thank you," she whispers, her fingers unconsciously curling into his shirt. "My dreams have been worse ever since the Circle."

"Mine, too," he replies quietly, his voice rumbling in his chest. "And, uh, you're welcome."

She smiles to herself and her eyes flutter closed. They fall silent, his heartbeat thumping right next to her ear, the steady drumming sending her closer and closer to the edge of sleep. When she finally succumbs to the darkness, she's safe, almost like she used to feel back home, and not a single nightmare finds it way into her mind the rest of the night.