I spread my arms wide open and plastered my most inviting grin on to my face.
Perry's head drooped to the side and I danced in my head a little. I had him this time, and he knew it! He'd never deny me on my birthday.
The look of blank contemplation was quickly replaced by one of blazing rage; not unlike the one he got when he found Jordan had redone his car with pink seat covers because her girlfriends liked it and it helped her seem innocent to other men.
I withdrew my arms a little, still unsure as to whether he would hug me or not.
Dr. Cox cracked his neck in his usual fashion and glared at me with his manly nostrils flaring. I'd have to learn how to do that...
"Now look here Lynden, I don't know how long you've been waiting to utter those words from you petite little mouth, but I just want to make this perfectly clear. I will not now, ever, or any time afterwards, give you so much as a hug, a pat on the back, a hand shake, a friendly smile or a secret nod. And if you so much as look at me the wrong way for the rest of today, I will take those arms of yours and tape them to the side of the hospital and leave ya there all day. Kapiche?"
I nodded quickly.
"You bet your ass. Now get outta here."
Dr. Cox threw the small package at me, which I nearly dropped in my haste to leave the room before I acted as an ornament.

As I escaped in to the corridor as gracefully as possible, I began to carefully open the wrapper to Dr. Cox's gift. My fingers trembled from the warmth that still emanated from it. I bet he was holding it in his pocket all day, waiting for the right time to give it to me.
"Now I hope that's not real leather you're wearing on that wrist of yours. Cos if it is, I'm gonna have to take it from you."
I looked up to see the new nurse – Laverneagain (Shirley, as she preferred to be known as... Lame) eyeing the wrist band that Elliot bought me.
"Mm-hmm. I could just rip that right off of your arm."
I yanked my hand away defensively and mustered up my most manly of manly stares. "Now now Laverneagain, stealing is wrong. I believe it's one of the commandments? The twelth?"
The nurse narrowed her eyes at me and turned away muttering. "Damn, pinned me with my own beliefs. Not too bad a watch either."
"Not too bad a watch?" Oh great, Carla. "I'll have you know that me and my man bought that for him."
Laverneagain huffed indignantly. "And I never said there was anything wrong with it sugar, I just think it's too... ostentatious." With that, she left to bother Dr. Kelso while he was taking a bite of his 10:00 muffin and couldn't talk back to her.
Carla slumped in to a chair and looked up at me, the sorrow in her eyes evident. "You like the watch, don't you Bambi?"
Elliot rounded the corner, a mere five feet from us both. Now what was I supposed to say? 'Yes Carla, I like the watch so much better than the wrist band!'?!
So I pulled the oldest trick in the book.
Beepbeepbeep!
Since when could my pager read my mind...?
"Sorry Carla, gotta go. It's Kim."
I left before she could say another word and pin me in to a shame spiral, as I knew she would. She was good at those... No wonder Turk kept calling her a devil woman. I'd have to talk to him about that.
"Elliot, do you think that the watch was a good present for JD?"
The blonde doctor nodded slowly, trying to keep the multitude of folders in her arms from falling all over the floor as they had done so many times already. "Yes, yes I do Carla. It's beautiful."
Carla's face brightened and she took some of the folders from Elliot to lighten her load. "Thanks Elliot. What are you still doing here anyway? I thought you had today off?"
"Pfft, I wish. I came in to give JD his present and then Dr. Kelso pins me with helping the interns do their paper work!"
Carla gave her a sympathetic look. "Don't worry hun, just slip some of your work in there and get them to do it. They're interns, they'll never know." She finished with a wink and handed Elliot back her files. A huge smile crept its way up Elliots face as she realised the potential.
As the smile crept up, the folders she was carrying crept downwards and clattered to the floor in a mess. "Frick!"

"Hey Kim! How's little Sammy?" I cooed in to the phone. Ever since Kim had moved away, I'd been able to see less and less of Sam. Though the car that Dan bought was good for getting me there and back, it was nothing compared to Sasha.
"Yeah, he's good! The guy's grown so fast, you wouldn't believe how big he is now!" She grunted on the phone, suggesting that she had just lifted him up. "I just thought that we'd call to say happy birthday to Daddy. Say happy birthday to Daddy, Sam!"
A loud raspberry like sound was blown on the other end of the line, followed by Kims laughter.
"Thanks guys, it means a lot to me. Though I have this strange feeling of foreboding..."
"Don't worry about it JD, I'm sure your birthday will go fine. Oops! I gotta go, Sam just urinated all over my shirt... I'll talk to you later, bye!"
I hung up the phone, the strange feeling continuing to haunt me. I turned to see Turk standing motionless in front of me. I studied him closely, wondering why he was standing so still. Then it hit me. "Between your ankles."
"My friend, you have found the Saltine. Now follow me, quick, Carla's having a moment and I need you to comfort her."
I struggled to keep up as Turk yanked on my arm and nearly pulled me from my feet. "What? Why me? Why not you or Elliot?"
"Because it's sorta Elliots fault..."
I sighed theatrically and allowed myself to be dragged through the halls of the Hospital. I knew there was something wrong...