Some days were better than others but nights were always met with the same dread. She slept alone, woke up alone, and though Erza was surrounded by the members of her new guild, she still considered herself to be alone. Her armor did more than simply protect her body. Locking away her heart was more difficult than she'd anticipated, though, and the process left her in tears more than once.

The unresolved confusion and anger she harbored toward the Jellal that had returned from the rooms of punishment and torture sat untouched on a shelf. Erza chose to mourn the loss of her friend and not acknowledge his betrayal. She couldn't quite face everything that had been taken from her. Not yet.

Days where she found herself the focus of someone's attention were hardest. It was never the attention she wanted. Gray in particular had an obnoxious fascination with her. He was a singleminded boy with his own set of bad memories. Erza supposed she could've answered his questions, and recognized that even a speck of information would've likely appeased his curiosity, but she refused to give him that satisfaction. He didn't truly care about her, he only wanted acknowledgement for himself. His ego grated on her nerves and one day she snapped, leaving him with unquenched rage and a bloody nose.

The river bank was her new new quiet place – or at least she was attempting to make it so. She wanted to feel safe on the grassy slope of earth that overlooked the rushing water but truthfully, Erza knew where her real quiet place was. Despite everything, the last place she'd felt safe was locked in a cell with Jellal. Under their shared blankets existed a dimension where only the two of them existed. She tugged on the edges of her hair but she couldn't replicate the way Jellal's fingers felt grazing along her scalp, cheeks, and neck.

For the first time in just over a year Erza's tears were ones of total despair. Everything she wanted had been stolen from her, warped, and left for ruin on an unreachable island. Maybe if she closed her eyes and really focused she could remember what it felt like to have somebody –

"There you are, Erza!" A voice from behind her scratched all over the smooth surface of her mind. "This is the day I'm gonna beat you!"

Gray. Of course. Why should she expect anything different? Everything else was a continuous parade of disappointments, so why shouldn't the river bank be spoiled, as well? She didn't even bother to wipe her tears before turning to face him.

"You again..." She stood angrily. "Honestly, you just don't learn do you? Fine then. Come and try it."

The boy faltered. "What's wrong? You surrendering?" He stared at her. "Why are you always on your own?"

"Being with other people just makes me uneasy. I prefer being alone." It wasn't exactly a lie. Erza didn't want to be by herself, but the person she needed wasn't available.

"Then why were you out here on your own crying?"

Erza didn't answer him and she made sure she kept her tears confined to her pillows from then on. No one would really understand anyway.

So many unexpected things happened that day but the icing on the cake came when he landed directly on top of her. In spite of everything that had transpired between them – a new age gap included – and the fact that not two minutes before she'd slapped him in the face for being a coward, Erza couldn't help but feel the most overwhelming sense of homesickness.

With only the briefest hesitation her hands touched his face. Jellal's fingers slid into her hair as if they'd been there a thousand times before, and his thumb gently brushed away her tears. When he finally spoke again the tone of voice he took with her reached the edges of the box she'd so carefully locked away. The box not even the version of him that had been stripped of all memory – so earnest and penitent – could touch. Only the Jellal that remembered their whispered conversations, shared fears, and dreams could unlock it to easily.

His kiss was brief but filled her soul with such hope not even his lie could taint it.

It wasn't as if her faith in humanity hadn't been tested before. Plenty of times in the past Erza had witnessed situations that made her question the intrinsic goodness of people but it had been a very long time since she'd felt so incredibly worn down.

Kyouka did not posess the power to read minds but her tactics had managed to be the embodiment of everything Erza feared. The lives of her guildmates had been threatened. Jellal had been threatened. She'd been stripped of all clothing and armor to be put on display. As if that hadn't been enough, the physical pain of torture brought her to a small, helpless place in her mind that left her shaking with terror.

"You'll be okay." The voice she'd wanted to hear most spoke softly from behind her. "Don't worry."

Since joining Fairy Tail many years before, Erza had frequented the riverbank in an attempt to clear her mind and return to a stillness. Her efforts were mostly met with disappointment because the source of all quietude was hopelessly absent. Hearing his voice, seeing him, and feeling his presence brought forward a surge of unadulterated affection. She didn't question how he'd known where to find her – it was unimportant. For the first time since they were dirty children in chains, Jellal gave her exactly what she needed.

He'd only brushed by, but it was enough.