Them Bones
By: Sugar Skulls
Author's Note: Just some drabbles that pop into my head whenever they please. I know I'm not the only Valduggery fan out there. :D Not all of these will be romantic. Some will be just friendship, some will be pure silliness.
Silhouette
"I hate camping," Valkyrie grumbled, huddled in her jacket, shivering, and wearing an expression most sour. "I'd rather sleep in the Canary Car."
"Cheer up, Val," Tanith said optimistically. "This little overnight stay in the forest was an unexpected result of the case, but we can make the best out of it!"
"Tanith's right," Skulduggery said. "We can do shadow puppets!" He leaned forward, making a shape with his gloved fingers. The little lantern in their makeshift tent brightly illuminated everything, and his hands cast a show on the sheet strung up across the middle of the tent to separate the men and the women's sides. Currently, Skulduggery, Tanith, Valkyrie, and Ghastly were gathered on the men's side. "Look, it's a dog!"
"You're just full of surprises, aren't you?" Valkyrie smirked.
Skulduggery ignored her comment. "Ghastly can do a great bunny rabbit, can't you, Ghastly?"
Ghastly sat quietly in the corner of the tent, book in hand. He didn't look up from the page. "Oh, please don't make me—"
"Come on, Ghastly, do a bunny!" Tanith smiled. "Please?"
Ghastly sighed, rolled his eyes, and leaned over. He made a shape with his hands; a rabbit shadow appeared on the sheet. Skulduggery, Valkyrie, and Tanith applauded lightly, impressed.
"Well, this has been oodles of fun," Ghastly said dryly, picking up his book, "but I think I'll finish reading outside." He stood up and ducked out of the tent.
"Party pooper!" Tanith called after him. Valkyrie, too, stood up.
"I'm changing for bed," she announced.
"None of you are any fun at all!" Tanith complained. Valkyrie grinned and stepped around to the other side of the sheet.
"I'll have you know that I am tons of fun," Skulduggery said to Tanith.
She rolled her eyes. "I'm sure."
"Hey, Skul?" Valkyrie said. "Remind me to find that missing button from my tunic when we get home, will you? I've been meaning to ask Ghastly to sew it back on."
"Er, sure."
Tanish looked up at the sound of Skulduggery's voice. It sounded distracted and uncomfortable. Skulduggery's attention was on the sheet. Tanith looked at it as well, but all she saw was Valkyrie's silhouette unbuttoning her jacket. Tanith looked back at Skulduggery questioningly. What was he looking at? She looked looked at the sheet again; Valkyrie had shed her jacket and was slipping off her tunic.
Beside her, Tanith heard a faint sound. Strained, awkwardly surprised, it sounded. A small, "Ah…" passed through Skulduggery's teeth. Tanith gaped openly at him, comprehending.
"Skulduggery!" she hissed. He jumped, turning his head to her.
"What?"
"What are you looking at?" Tanith demanded in disbelief.
"Nothing!" Skulduggery said.
"You liar," Tanith accused. "You perv!"
"I am not!" Skulduggery said, mightily offended.
"You aren't, are you?" Tanith said, a slow smile creeping across her lips.
"Of course not!" Skulduggery said hotly. "What, you think I was watching her shadow…?"
"I'm fairly certain that's what you were focused so intently on," Tanith said smugly.
"Well, I wasn't," Skulduggery said firmly. "I'm appalled that you would even think that, Tanith Low. I mean, honestly. She's sixteen."
"What are you two whispering about over there?" Valkyrie asked curiously, her silhouette pausing in the act of pulling a tank top over her head.
"Nothing," Tanith and Skulduggery chorused.
"Oh, secrets," Valkyrie said sarcastically. "My favorite." She resumed changing.
"You're right, you're right," Tanith said lowly, still smiling. "I'm sorry. I know you better than that."
"That's right," Skulduggery said, nodding sharply. He didn't turn his head back to the sheet, choosing too look at the floor of the tent.
"I mean, why would you stare?" Tanith went on. "After all, there's just a sheet separating the two of you. Why would a powerful man like you let a sheet stop you from getting her?"
"Tanith!" Skulduggery hissed indignantly.
"It's obvious you're not interested if it's just a sheet stopping you," Tanith said with false woe. "It's obvious that you're not just itching to reach out and touch her…"
Tanith's eyes darted down to catch Skulduggery's fingers twitch and flex before curling into restraining fists. Tanith grinned knowingly at him. She glanced at the sheet.
"Oh, look," she said. She said it so lightly, so casually, that Skulduggery habitually looked up to follow her gaze just in time to catch Valkyrie's silhouette undo the buttons on her pants and grip the waist and pull them down.
Skulduggery's startled groan was harder to stifle this time. His eyeless sockets were trained on the sheet, Tanith triumphantly noticed. Valkyrie's shadow's spine curved gracefully as she bent to pull on her sleep pants. When she straightened, Skulduggery looked back at the floor.
"I'm sorry, what were we discussing before?" Tanith asked innocently. "It seems I've forgotten and you were distracted."
"I'm going to kill you, Tanith," Skulduggery growled. Tanith took that as a confession.
"You're remarkably horny for a guy without a reproductive system," she observed.
"Shut up."
Author's Note: -cackles- God, I loved writing this.