Aya and Yohji sat 8 hours together to create a plan and discussed the strategy.
If he's still angry with me? Maybe I should ask? No he will kill me if I try to disturb our work. Aahhh It drives me crazy when he doesn't talk to me in a normal way he's so sober.
"….ji! …. HEY YOHJI! " Aya yelled at him "stop daydreaming we aren't done"
"What …oh I'm sorry" Yohji said embarrassed. "It's Ok" Aya sighed.
"Aya?"
"Yeah ?"
"Do you think we will stay alive?" Yohji asked and he looked like a little kid.
"You know our job is dangerous every job could be the last " Aya said in a hard tone.
"I know something like that could happen but I have a bad feeling about the job it's not like the feelings I had before some of our other jobs …it's more like a foreboding."
"You too?" Aya said and tried to control his emotions but Yohji saw that Aya was a bit shocked.
"Aya does that mean you have the same bad feeling…. Maybe we should had reject the job,
can we reject it now… " Yohji said with hope in his voice.
"You know it's to late we accepted already there is no way back…the only thing we can do is to try to stay alive"
Yohji looked so sad and Aya thought maybe it has a meaning that both of them had the same terrible feeling, Aya talked to Omi and Ken earlier and his kids are so afraid that they lost the smile he liked so much, it had always warmed up his cold heart.
The job is so dangerous and they are all afraid and not concentrated, I don't know what to
do….. I don't want to lose my family.
Maybe It's the right time to tell Yohji how I feel about him… I wanted to tell him that since
we met the first time. I'm a wimp … three years and I still don't say this important words.
To whom I demonstrate something….. to behonest I'm afraid of losing his friendship… I'm
afraid of being alone again.
Take a deeeeeeeep breath Aya now or never…
"Yohji?"
"Hmm ?!" Yohji muttered and looked at Aya.
"There is something I wanted to tell you for a long time…"Aya said with an untypical tone in his voice.
"What do you want to say?" Yohji had an idea what Aya wanted to say, he knew how Aya felt sometimes he could see it in his eyes… the way he looked at him.
But Yohji didn't want to hear it not now …. No NEVER.
Aya couldn't find the words so he took Yohji by his shirt and pulled him closer, now they
faced one another.
Aya suddenly kissed Yohji, …he finally found the words he wanted to say all this years and whispered "I … I love you!"
Yohji pushed Aya away and said in a disgusted tone "It's not the time for something like that!"
"… but" Aya stuttered.
"No, I'm a lady killer you understand, I never had something with a man and I will never have something with a man and now is definitely not the time for a stupid confession!"
"Ok I only wanted to say it" and with these word Aya went to the door " When is the right time to talk?" he whispered in a sad tone.
"STOP THE CRAP!" Yohji said angry and glared at Aya.
Yohji could see that a tear was falling down Ayas cheek as he went through the door.
After he heard the door closed with a soft "click" he sat down and buried his face into his hands.
No, I didn't want to say it like that; I hurt him so much …. ohh Aya why now.
You surprised me I knew the time will come but why now … It's not the time for a
confession … I wasn't prepared, I haven't sort my feeling out for you.
I was always a lady killer but then you took your way into my heart little by little,
I don't understand it … It's the feeling of friendship …isn't it?
Yeah I'm sure it is I'm sure……. but why are my lips still burning … and my heart aches
so much.
I didn't feel that way since Asuka … could it be that without my knowing he filled the empty
place in my heard which Asuka left?!
"The preparations are finished" Omi said.
"Good, tomorrow we take a time-out from Weiss, next week is Christmas and it's snowing since three days"
"Aya what do you mean?" Ken asked.
"Play at the snow, buy a Christmas present do what ever you want to do,
It's a dangerous job so enjoy the time" he said in an unusual soft tone and went out of the room.
"What the hell was that?" Ken asked Omi confused.
"I don't know!" Omi answered with an irritated look on his face.
"Don't worry sometimes Aya has a "good" day" Yohji said, he leaned against the wall.
"Yohji?! I didn't hear you come!" Ken said terrified.
"But what is with Aya, …. Why?" Omi stammered confused.
"He's afraid!"
"What?!" Ken and Omi said in chore, they were shocked Aya and fear?!
"He watched you and he saw that you're afraid and that's dangerous when your fear takes the control, so he wants that both of you will have fun …. to forget the job for a while" Yohji said in a soft and confident tone.
"Why do you know all that?" Ken asked confused.
"I know him" he said and went out of the room, he went to the roof to smoke and decided to go to bed after he finished.
A shot? …. NOOOO don't leave me you can't ………. ASUKAAAAA
Yohji woke up bathed in sweat and with tears in his eyes.
"A dream …. Always the same dream. Aya I ……. Oh!" he said.
Sure he isn't here after I hurt him so much.
Normally he's waking me up when I have a dream about her.
He's sitting next to me and is comforting me, sometimes when the dreams are extremely
bad he's hugging me and strokes my back while he's whispering all this comforting words
like "shhhh it was a dream" or "Don't cry … Yohji…. I'm here with you, don't be
afraid".
Why do I miss him so much?
No I shouldn't think about stuff like that, tomorrow I will go to a club, I will drink and hook
up a hot girl…. yeah that's the plan!
Yohji watched out of the window for a few hours before he went back to bed.
The next morning he woke up and after he saw at his watch he stood up like a flash.
"Why hasn't you rung you damn thing I'm late for work" he took his clothes, jumped to the shower and got dressed.
"Aya will kill me"
He always says when I'm late that florist and assassin are two different jobs and I should learn
to accept both jobs.
The last time I was to late he gave me six extra shifts
He ran through the floor and stopped.
"What the…"
"Hey Yohji "Omi said happily "Aya closed the shop for a few days … great isn't it?"
"He really closed the… " Yohji stammered "I thought we are only free for the afternoon…"
"I thought that too but Aya said this morning that he will release us from our work at the shop for a few days" Omi said and beamed with joy.
"Where is Aya?" Yohji said after he collected his thoughts.
"I don't know where Aya is I only know that Ken is playing soccer with his friends" Omi answered.
"When you see Aya tell him I want to talk with him!"
"Yeah, see you later" Omi said and ran out of the door.
"I'm home alone, huh?" Yohji said to himself while he walked into the kitchen to prepare breakfast.
It's so quiet without the kids. The day is so dark and It's still snowing maybe I should stay
at home today …. But that's boring
I'm sure Aya is at the hospital to visit his sister, I think he will be back at noon … will he?"
Why is thinking about Aya always that painful, I'm not gay … no I'm not I'm only hurt because I'm worrying about losing a friend …. yeah that's it
Three hours later the front door opened and Aya walked through the door.
After Yohji heard the door he went out of his room to greet Aya.
"Hey you're back ….. how is Aya-chan?"
"Fine" he said and passed him without looking at him.
I can feel the cold from Ayas skin, he's paler then normal and the look in his eyes makes me worry ….
Is he still hurt because I rejected him? Of course he is! But this look was different It looks like he's afraid of something and I can feel that the next job isn't the reason.
I know that he isn't as strong as we think he is, in actuality he's fragile and his soul is like glass.
Say Aya have I broken the rest of your fragile soul?
Do you think we have still the time to fix that?
Tell me are we still friends….. please yell at me or give me a cold glare ….
Do something but stop to ignore me!
Aya didn't do anything he went straight to his room and locked the door.
Yohji was frustrated and went to a club.
Damn it Aya why do you ignore me
He thought and drank his fourth glass of whisky.
"Hey lover boy do you want to dance with me?" a beautiful woman with black hair and pale skin asked.
"Sure why not" Yohji answered and went with her to the dance floor, after an hour and a lot of kisses they went out of the club.
It was 7 a.m as Yohji came back; Aya was waiting the whole night for him to return.
He smells of alcohol and tobacco. How much have you drunk?
Yohji was totally drunk and Aya moved him into his room, while he changed his clothes he saw Lipstick on Yohjis neck.
Lipstick? You had a new woman again?
He thought and covered him up.
Yohji looked up to Aya with tired eyes.
"Why do you ignore me … why?"
"You said It's not the time to talk … so I won't talk" Aya whispered and turned around to hide his tears.
"I don't mean you should stop talking I only won't talk about … about you know what I mean"
Yeah I know what you mean you're trying to hush up the incident
After Yohji said this he fell asleep and Aya walked back to his own room.
When Yohji woke up the night came back over the town already and it was still snowing.
The kids were playing at the snow, they made a snow man and Omi started sneaky a snowball fight.
Aya stood at the door with a smile on his beautiful pale face.
To see the kids playing lightened his heart, Omi and Ken saw the smile on his face and knew he felt better.
After the incident with Yohji they were worried about him, they didn't know what happened but they knew that something was wrong between them.
Yohji walked into the living room and watched out of the window, he saw the kids playing and decided to join them for a while.
It's dark already but they are still playing … It must be nice to be young.
Aya he's here? And he's smiling, I never saw him smiling like that before, he's so beautiful.
I love it when he smiles it's so rare but always a highlight.
Should I speak with him? … or…or…. what else should I do…. speak … yeah speaking is good
"Aya, do you want to play with us?" Ken said happily.
"Please Aya play with us ….. we want you to be happy once in a while" Omi said in a honest tone and Aya knew he was telling the truth.
"Yeah Aya pleeeaaassseee" Ken said with a big happy smile on his face.
"Come" Omi said with bright eyes and he reached out his hand.
Sure Aya and playing ….. hahaha the kids are trying it every time and they always get a death glare, they will never learn it…. WHAT? Is the hell frozen or something like that …. It can't be
"Ok once in a while I can play with you" Aya said in a strange tone.
"Aya, why? Since when ….. you?" Yohji stammered with a confused look on his face.
Suddenly Aya had a big smile on his face and his eyes were so bright.
It can't be …..he's so beautiful with this kind of smile and he looks so happy
"I think It's the last chance for me to play with our kids" Aya said.
"You mean your bad feeling? Don't take that at face value"
" No Yohji It's more than that ….. I know I will see my family soon and Aya-chan is coming home too" Aya said and looked happier than before.
"Aya we won't die …. We won't" Yohji said and felt how tears came to his eyes.
"I will never let something happen to you or the kids …. I will take care of you" Aya swore and turned around, he went out to the boys and laid his hand into Omis outstretched little one and looked back at Yohji for a moment.
For Yohji It was like a slow-motion scene in a movie when Aya turned around with his happy face, the snow was still falling and made him more beautiful.
His skin is so pale, the cold made his cheeks pink, his hair red like blood and his eyes so violet ….. behind him… is only the darkness and the falling snow …. Aya and the background are a good match.
I think I meltatthesight!
How can you look soindescribable beautiful but at the same time you can say something so horrible….. you're prepared to die, right?
Is it my fault?
Have I really broken your fragile soul?
I won't let you die, if you want to die you must kill me first