EPOV

It's been sixteen years. Bella would be 34 now. Bella, Bella, my beautiful Bella. How could you not love me? Not truly love me? Of course you couldn't truly love a monster like me.

No, that's probably why she left in the first place. She's just too kind to tell me that she finally realized it. She was always too kind, too trusting. She'll be in love with someone else now, happily in love. And either engaged or married. She was too beautiful. Pain ripped through my chest burning the edges of the hole she left when she tore out the heart which she would always hold.

Edward!

No, I will not go and answer her.

"Edward Cullen! Answer your sister right now!" Esme yelled up the stairs followed by Alice again.

"Yes, please do, brother dear!" I groaned and rolled myself off my black couch and trudged downstairs to meet Alice. She was waiting for me at the foot of the stairwell. Smiling. I groaned mentally, she'd probably come up with another useless way to make me forget Bella, my love. That was never going to happen.

"Follow me! And no, I'm not going to try and make you forget her." She smiled wider, slightly maniacally and took off, me following. Unfortunately. "I've got something better." I winced and then scowled.

"What? Bella herself? Look I'm going back home, Alice. I really don't need this." Alice growled and grabbed my wristed as I turned to walk back to our home. Just out of Cabot. Yeah, we live in Vermont now.

"Yes, you do, actually. Edward, have you seen yourself at all in the last 16 years? No, don't answer that. My point is, you can't keep moping over Bella if you know for a fact, that she doesn't love you." I was slightly astonished. Alice had been Bella's best friend now she was talking as if she didn't and had never liked her at all. She caught my expression and sighed. "Edward, you loved her and she just ditched you when she got bored. You're my brother and the fact that she did that makes her the enemy in my book. But Edward if she doesn't and didn't love you as much as she claimed she did then she's not your mate and never was." I broke. Bella was Alice's enemy now? I gave her a choice and she chose. I was never going to make her my mate. My wife, maybe.

"It doesn't matter Alice. I loved her, more than anything. She was my life, can't you see that? If she didn't love me the way I did, that's fine! But that doesn't stop the way I feel about her!" Alice made a face. The face that said God, he's got it bad. Her thoughts back it up. I sighed,

"Let me put it this way. If Jasper ever left you, would you get over it? No, you wouldn't, because you love him. He's your life." Alice made face again. But this one said, Ugh, he's right. I nodded in satisfaction. I turned to go back to my room, jerking my wrist out of Alice's firm grip. She hissed and grabbed me again.

"What?" I growled through my teeth.

"I've got your point but there really is something, well, someone you gotta see." I frowned at that. Someone? We didn't know anyone here and the Denali clan never left Alaska unless for some big event we were involved in.

"Come with me" Alice said exasperated and sprinted off through the trees, me hot on her trail. To my surprise she led me straight to the middle of Cabot. To a small non-descript house. The only thing that made it different from the other house on the street was a small turret on the back of the house, it was made of grey stone and that there were more trees in the front yard, hiding all the windows from the street. I turned to Alice and she motioned for me to follow her again. She led me up to the window on the small turret room, which, coincidentally was facing the back yard which had more trees than the front.

"Go in" was all she said. I looked at her curiously before opening the window wide and sneaking in. The room inside was brown and gold. (A/N: Think eye colour) The bed was simple, brown sheets and duvet with dull gold pillows. A small dark wooden chest with a gold lock was pushed against the end of the bed and the door a dark mahogany brown. Next to the door was a wooden bookshelf stuffed with all kinds of books, most of them old. There was a light brown 2-seater couch under the window I'd just crawled through and pushed up against the wall opposite the bed was a small brown desk. On it was a slim black laptop, a contrast to the rest of the room. Next to the desk was a chest of drawers, dark brown with shining gold handles. The bed didn't look like it had been slept in yet or the couch sat on, the room was impeccably tidy, but the room of a teenager nonetheless. But I didn't notice all that instantly. What I noticed was the smell. The sweet, delicious, enticing smell of freesia and a hint of strawberry, it was Bella's scent. Bella was here. Bella was in Virginia. Bella was in Arlington, Virginia. I pushed the thoughts out of my head and examined the room. The single bed meant that she wasn't married yet, which made relief flood my body and hope flood my heart. The scent was definitely Bella's but the room wasn't anything like Bella. It was like she'd mixed 2 styles of décor together and gotten an amazing result. And then there was the fact that the room belonged to a teenager. Bella wasn't a teenager anymore, she was 34. I noticed that Alice had crept in behind me and was sitting on the couch.

"How did you know, Alice." She smiled wryly in response and replied,

"I heard that there was a going to be a new girl in town. She arrived this morning, which explains the bed if you were wondering and her name was Bella Swan. Since I'm the only one who listens to gossip I'm the only person in our family who knows. Not my fault if you aren't listening to peoples' thoughts anymore like you should. I waited at the airport this morning to check if it really was her, and she and Charlie are here. Charlie's still a police officer, he's enrolled in the squad here. The thing is Edward, she hasn't aged a bit. She's still seventeen, like she was when we first saw her. Charlie's still the same age as well. Neither of them have aged at all. Charlie's still 40 and Bella's enrolled at the school here as a junior, seventeen. I checked all the schools in LA as well and she never attended any of them. I think she lied to you about where she was going so you wouldn't find her."

Bella was still seventeen. But that was basically impossible, we'd all been there for her 18th birthday. She was eighteen and her scent hadn't changed, so she was till human.

"How … How can she still be seventeen? It's just not possible." Alice shrugged,

"That's partly why I brought you here. I haven't touched anything in her room, it's not my place to. But it is yours. Go ahead and see if you can work it out." I shook my head at her and went straight to her bookshelf. I found Withering Heights in it, some things never change apparently. Then I went to her laptop and opened the lid, turning it on before opening her desk drawer.

BANG. The front door slammed closed and I jumped back from the desk and shot a look at Alice she looked surprised too. Bella was coming up the stairs to the second floor now.

"She wasn't supposed to be home for another half an hour. I thought we'd be long gone." She jumped up and climbed out the window motioning for me to follow. I did so and hovered below her window. Alice sighed and muttered,

"Stalker" and dropped down onto the lawn, disappearing through the trees. She was right, it was stalker-ish. But I wanted to know, to see with my own eyes that she hadn't changed even though I knew Alice wasn't lying. I heard the door open and close behind her, only then did I realize that I'd left the window and drawer open and the laptop on. I heard her stop and her breathing hitch before her footsteps started again, rushing for the desk murmuring,

"No, no, no, no" I risked a peek through the window and there she was. Still exactly as he'd last seen her and still as beautiful as she'd always been. Her heart beating softly at a steadily fast rhythm. She was looking in the open drawer and she quickly pulled out a framed photograph as she sighed in relief. She pulled it to chest hugging it tightly. What was in that frame? She put it down on the desk, mercifully facing the window. If my heart was still beating it would have stopped. The picture in the frame was of me and Bella at prom, smiling and happy. It was from a time when she (and I) thought she loved me.

I heard the desk chair move and I pulled my gaze back to Bella just in time to see her sit down and start using the computer. From this angle I could only just see what was on the screen. She was getting up a word document. From the folder she was using I could see she'd written a lot of what it was. I couldn't tell what she'd written because all the documents were titled by dates. At the top the first entry had apparently been 14 years ago. She brought up a new document and turned the computer slightly so that it turned away from the window and started typing. She stopped as if she'd finished even though she hadn't been writing long and she slumped back against the chair looking drained. Suddenly she looked up at the window and I had to duck down. I heard her move the chair and start toward the window. Cursing under my breath I dropped down to the ground and darted behind one of the trees before she could see me properly. I sighed before racing home to think.

BPOV (I decided that I kinda need her pov in this story because I can't just do my brother's because well, he's bias)

Vermont. Can be rainy, can be snowy. But it's always cloudy. This time I'd told Charlie that I wanted to go somewhere with a history. He suggested a few places but I liked Cabot the best. I always live in mostly rainy places now because they remind me of Edward, all the Cullens. I know that Alice will hate me. Rosalie will probably hate me more but be happy I'm gone and Edward, I'm not sure. He could have cried and got over it, though I don't think so, I know the depth of a vampire's love. It's infinite. He's most likely pretending he's fine, like me, a bit. I could have saved us all some pain and just told him. That I did love him but I was dead and the only way I could stay was to become undead. Thing is, no, was that I didn't want to live on earth for the rest of eternity. When you die, you go to a land almost exactly the same as earth but more beautiful and in harmony. There's no hell or heaven (though the afterworld is called Heaven), no gods or goddesses. The only thing that keeps Heaven in harmony is the Queen. You do something bad or break the rules and she decides how many years you spend on earth. Sounds like a gift doesn't it? It's not because earth is so much a worse place to be. The thing is, sometimes you don't come back from your period of exile because you become undead.

The reason I'm on earth is because I hurt someone. Just because Heaven is more peaceful than earth doesn't mean you can't lose your temper. A boy, my best friend, Aidian, really nice, was pressuring me to do something I didn't want to. And I just lost my temper and lashed out. I was taken before the Queen because I'd broken his arm and cracked his chin open, she declared that because since I'd lost my temper when he was pressuring me, I'd spend 20 years on earth. Others have been a lot longer, and because Aidian had pressured me he'd had to spend 5 years on earth when he was healed. All of us in exile are callen Fallen Angels, going with the Christian faith because it's the dominant religion and because the world is called Heaven. He found me 2 years ago to apologise and had stuck with us since he goes back when I do, 2 years from now. For sixteen years now I've been miserable without my love and then I have to leave without telling him that he is my love. For some reason now, I don't want to return to Heaven. I just want to find Edward and tell him I love him, even if he rejects me.

I sighed and got out of my truck. I'd come back from Aidian's place sooner than I'd meant to because I, well, I just wanted to go back to my sanctuary. Aka, my room. I'd put all my photos of me and Edward into my desk drawer before heading out, just in case … I don't know. Just so I knew they were safe I guess. The most precious picture I had was our prom picture, if I lost that I don't know what I do. I slammed the front door of our house, since I'd died before I turned 18 I needed a … supervisor for my exile period. Charlie was that supervisor, he acted as parent for me but he wasn't really my dad. I entered my room gently, and froze. The drawer I'd put my pictures in for safe-keeping was open, the window was open and my laptop was on but on just starting up, thank god.

"No, no, no, no" I muttered rushing for the drawer. I rushed through the other meaningless photos before I found the one I wanted. I sighed, feeling relief wash through me, overwhelming me. It was still here, still safe, still untouched. I clutched it to my chest before placing it gently on my desk. I sat down and opened my letter folder on my laptop. Charlie had finally taken pity on my old computer and bought me a new one 14 years ago, that's when I started writing my letters. All my letters are to Edward, I've written so many that I give up trying to count them when I get to 200. I shifted the computer so that I could see it better and started typing.

My love,

I'm sorry that I lied. I love you and always have, always will. I wish that I could find you now, I'd tell you everything if I could find you. Living without you is more than just painful, it's excruciating.

If I don't find you in just under 2 years then I won't be here anymore. I'll be back in Heaven. Yes, Heaven. I'm already dead really, just alive for punishment. 20 years that's all I got. The person I

hurt got 5 because they were pressuring me. What I am is a Fallen Angel, a person who's dead but has come back to earth because we did something wrong in Heaven. I wish I knew where you were.

It's the only thing I've ever lied to you about, except for the blasphemy where I said that I didn't love you anymore. Which I did, I do. And always will. If I ever find you, I swear I'll tell you

everything, I can't live with the lie anymore because I need you. I'm in Arlington, Verginia if you can find me. I never went to Los Angeles, never anywhere sunny. It's been sixteen years but I'm still

seventeen because I died when I was seventeen, I can't age. I lived in the 15th century, my family was reasonably well off. My mother always expected for her oldest daughter to do so well. The twins

who were 10 years younger than me were both boys. My father's pride. They had their futures all planned out, just like mine. Mine: marry a nice wealthy man (even if I hated him), have as many

kids as I could to carry on the family and raise them to be good sophisticated adults. The twins were going to have better lives. Get a good education, get a well paying job and get a young pretty wife

to have kids and carry on the family name. They'd still have a better life than me. Then the Plague (the Black Death) came and the twins died first, being too young to fight it. Then my mother who had weak health

already and then me. I don't know if my father died of it or not. But he probably did. That's really my life before I died and talking about my life after I died is a bit confusing. I love you, Edward, always.

Your Bella Swan

(Isabella Marie Swan)

I sat back and read over what I written. All my letters were like this, on this subject. Some were longer, more detailed and some were shorter and vaguer. A cool wind suddenly swept through the room and I remembered that the window was open. My head snapped up toward the window. I caught a glimpse of something bronze before it fell below the window. My eyes narrowed. I pushed back my chair and started towards the window. When I looked down there was no-one there. Of course not, I dropped my gaze to our garden. Then I saw a blur of bronze, white and dark blue. My heart leaped into my throat as my head only thought one word.

Edward.