Chapter Two: Remember Me

Disclaimer : Still don't own it.

Navigation system is knackered...much more fun that way...

That first time, way back when, seemed to unlock the memories that had been blocked off. Someone he wasn't meant to remember, someone that was only a blip through his various regenerations, many times, more the longer he lived and the danger became more apparent. Always calling his name, warning him just in time, pushing him from harm's way to take it herself. Or showing him the way, leading him to his destiny, to the TARDIS that would be his own for years and regenerations to come. A young Gallifreyan girl telling him to pick the sentient ship with the broken navigation circuit rather than the one he'd originally chosen for himself.

Doctor! You have to move!

A train roaring past as he lay sprawled on the platform, dazed. Second regeneration. Recalling a woman's voice calling his name, pushing at him to get him out of the path. He hadn't noticed it, was dazed from a blow struck to his head from some enemy at the time. It had taken hours to realize what had happened, that someone had thrown themselves against him but not made it back out of the way in time to spare their own life. Clara Oswin. Human girl, stranger.

Hang in there gent, help's here.

A double handed grip over his own, pulling with all her might to try and pull him back after he'd gone over the railing. Barely hanging on, the drop below would cause spontaneous regeneration he was sure. She was so slight, not strong enough, would only fall with him from his weight pulling down on hers, but she didn't let him go, refused to even when he told her that it was okay, that he'd be fine. It was going to hurt, but he'd regenerate. There was only one of her. Only one special girl with the bravery to come to a stranger's aide even though she could be hurt herself.

Holy God this thing is ugly! Give it up, mate, it's long enough.

Fourth Regeneration. His beloved scarf tied off against his waist and the other end lassoed onto a rock ledge above. Romana yelling at him from above him as this stranger scaled down. Rock climber, mountain rescue service, she'd said. Being told to hold on as she wound a rope around him as well, though the scarf was thick enough, and the drop short enough, that he could be pulled up that way. No chances, she'd said, no reason to tempt fate. Blood blinding him, obscuring his rescuer from view, but knowing he owed her a debt. Or at least some form of appreciation. She'd saved his life, after all. Though he could have probably gotten back up on his own, but that was aside the point.

Time and adventures later. He'd been having problems adjusting to Romana's new form, her temperament different and rubbing him the wrong way. He didn't fight, was too controlled for it, but she'd been pushing him towards a full scale bout of fury. Even he, a Time Lord, had a certain limit to his patience. Romana was about at that level without meaning to be. So he'd left the TARDIS, not intending to come back to this place after what happened the last time. It seemed to him like tempting fate returning to a place that had almost ended this form's life and pushed him into a new one. The ledge he'd gone over, or been thrown over was a more adequate assessment. He still had no clue as to who had done it to him, or for what reason, but he'd figure it out. He always did. This place, for whatever reason, was where he was drawn to when he was in one of his rare moods like he was now, or when he needed a quiet place by himself to think.

He paced, trying to order his thoughts and calm his raging mind. Too much to do for him to be like this, in a state that took far too much out of him. Being angry never solved anything, and he was always the one that remained calm under pressure, even when anyone else would be upset in some fashion. He played the fool, but he was no fool. He was clever, dangerously so. No one matched him, and few could keep up with him successfully. Or even follow his train of thought, especially as he spoke it while he was thinking. It helped him, certainly. So did pacing, though today his thoughts weren't on any new adventure or mystery he'd found himself in. Instead his entire focus was on regaining his calm and reminding himself why it was couldn't drop Romana off on some inhabited planet and leave her there indefinitely.

So he hadn't been paying attention to where his favored scarf was on his person and the length of it had wound against his legs and caused him to trip, nearly sending him over the ledge for a second time. It was then he found himself not alone on the cliffside as a pair of slender arms linked around his chest and pulled him back from an untimely regeneration. Her again, the girl from the first time, the woman with the rescue service. His surprise at seeing her there, staring dumbly at the little hands clenched in the front of his jacket as his hearts hammered in his chest from the close call. Yes, even the Doctor could be startled enough for such a reaction. Her teasing smile once he had his feet safely back on solid ground, and the chiding tone she'd used to address him.

"You again? Can't you stay out of trouble gent?"

"Apparently not."

She'd laughed, and after a moment he'd joined her. A close call and being generally pleased not to have to regenerate from such a painful experience. Clumsy, he'd been so clumsy. Him, who prided himself on only pretending to be a fool. And all over that bloody scarf. It had only been luck she'd been there that day, a coincidence, she'd said.

"We have to stop meeting like this."

Her voice was filled with laughter again, though this time it sounded more relieved than amused. It was the most any one person had touched him since he'd had Susan with him in his first regeneration. He didn't have to look to know she had grabbed him around his chest again, could feel her touch like he had back on the cliffside. She'd stopped him from stepping off the street corner and into oncoming traffic when the sign clearly warned him not to walk. He really hadn't meant to step off like that, but someone in the crowd had shoved him from behind and he'd been distracted. Romana gave him a look of concern, seeing as he'd been distracted by his conversation with her. He could usually do several things at once without being distracted, but something had been different today.

She'd released him as soon as the shock wore off, arms crossing her chest and giving him a swift look over before nudging him towards his companion for a second look over. Really he was fine, had been unharmed in the entire thing, though his thoughts were still all over the place. They'd come here on another adventure, and run into this same human for a third time. What were the odds, in all the universe, of running into the same person three times?

Run. Run you clever boy, and remember.

Remember.

Remember me.

And how he remembered, a flood opening in his mind to show patches of each lifetime each going faster and faster until they were indistinct. Always the variation of the same name, and always in his path as long as it coordinated with Earth. Key points in time, a small hand that fit his just so, of being pulled, the one being led instead of leading. Of absolute trust from the start then hearts breaking despair as she kept dying on him. A Companion that had chased her way through his time line, always when he needed help the most. Physical, or in the case of several regenerations, mental or emotional. This wasn't the first time she'd sat with him when the world came down around him. She'd done it for him during his Eighth regeneration too, before things unraveled. That was the second time he'd known she'd come from his home world, from Gallifrey.

You can't remember her Doctor. You mustn't hold onto her. She's an echo, a Time Echo. She isn't real.

Romana's voice, or was it Sarah Jane? He couldn't discern the truth, wasn't even sure it had been said in the proper regeneration to be either of the two women. Just that the memory had been blocked out, her existence becoming inconsequential, a person that drifted through and helped him out, no one important. Because she died nearly every time, or disappeared after her task was done, and the few times she did stick around he'd gotten attached like he always did to a companion, and eventually she'd been lost to him anyway. Always protecting him. She'd come along with him twice before this, before this current regeneration that was so jaded and hurt that her simple act of trust had him basking in her very presence.

Fourth regeneration was first, an accidental companion that he ran into periodically when he visited that time frame. An enigma, a creature that manifested exactly the thing he needed to see to be drawn in. Bravery, cleverness, a willingness to help out without thought to herself. Human, absolutely, wonderfully human. Brilliant, fantastic girl. Impossible Girl. Her first real journey with him on the TARDIS resulted in her death, by Dalek nonetheless. But she'd died in a way that he never wished on anyone, had tried to protect them all from. Dalek Death Ray. A shot meant to end him, and she'd shoved him until he'd bowled into Romana.

Then in his Eighth form, right after he'd left Grace the first time. He'd been so very lonely, as he was now, but this time because he hadn't been able to convince a new companion to come with him. His shortest regeneration to date, he hadn't lasted long. His Eighth self wasn't made for what came to him, for a war that raged around him and destroyed time and space. Time Lords were not meant to go to war, and he'd never been much of a warrior. He knew how, of course, but he was the Doctor, always off on another adventure, always in the midst of things. Meddling, changing the course of history as it went wrong. Or righting wrongs, so long as the event wasn't time locked. She'd found him on an alien planet that time, with a TARDIS of her own. He'd been trying to work things out for himself, and been entranced by the young Gallifreyan that came to sit with him. She wasn't actually the same as him, didn't have the perception for time required of a Time Lord, but her father was and he'd let her drive. She told him she'd sat on the controls and accidentally set the ship off into the vortex and ended up there. He'd had to tow the other ship with his own for ages while she stayed with him and lit his world up again. She'd never told him her name that time, just given him that mischievous smile that she had here too. It had been her sacrifice that allowed him to live through the Time War. She'd left him at the start of the war, then returned at its closure as he'd done what was necessary. Her father's TARDIS shattered reality as it exploded, but not before she'd used it to ram his own outside the range of...

"You still with me?"

Her voice shattered the hold his memories had over him, drawing blue eyes to concerned brown ones. She'd stayed where she'd come to stand, within reach but far enough not to invade his personal space too much. Absolute trust, like always. Unwavering belief in a man that didn't deserve it. But how could she be the same person? Following him through time, different people, different name, but always the same face. Was she a Time Lady? Could he have missed someone in his final desperate act during the Time War? Was it possible that someone had escaped, that he wasn't alone after all? And if so, why was it that she'd been blocked in his memories every time he'd met her? And by whom? What was the purpose?

She was impossible, was Oswin. And what had the companion meant, that she wasn't real? A Time Echo could be anything, most passed it off as de ja vu, which Time Lords didn't experience. Or weren't supposed to anyway. What had he been thinking about again? Oh, right, Time Echo and Oswin.

"How do I know you Oswin?"

Head tilting to one side, brown hair falling a little forward without obscuring her expression. "You met me earlier, remember? We talked and sat together all day, then you invited me here. Are you feelin' alright gent?"

"I'm fine. Fantastic even." Yeah, it was her word, but he liked it and planned on using it pretty often when he could get away with it. She'd have to get used to it.

"Mental more like."

"Oi, am not! I'm clever, brilliant even. Not mental at all, not me."

"Or capable of modesty."

He gave her his best grin for that one. Nope, he wasn't modest at all, and had no trouble admitting to it. He'd tried it once, a few regenerations back, but it had ended up making him constipated so he'd given up. Nothing wrong with it, as he knew what he was capable of better than anyone else. Still...his grin faded from his face, remembering what it was that had happened before his mind had burst open with old memories long blocked from active recollection. He'd hurt her, yelled at her, and yet she hadn't left him here to stew in it. He was insane, not totally stable coming into this regeneration, and still too much a soldier. She didn't deserve to deal with him while he was like this, but he needed her. He needed company, someone to show off to and teach him how to trust again. To remind him who he was, who he had been before the Time War nearly destroyed him. A new companion to show the universe, all of space and time. And, if she'd let him, he'd lay it at her feet. Anywhere she wanted to go, so long as she came with him.

"You really aren't afraid."

"Of you? Absolutely not. Probably should be, but something tells me I can trust you. Like I'm meant to help you do something, or just..." She shrugged, giving him that smile that haunted various regenerations of memories. "Not leave you alone again. You've had enough of that, I think."

"You know that isn't normal, right?"

"Well of course. I'd be stupid not to realize how abnormal this is. In a big snog box with a gent I've only known the last few hours, who happens to be really post traumatic and prone to fits of violence. I'm not saying its normal, but it's there." She put her hands out to either side of her body, palm up in a show of helplessness. "It is what it is, but you know what?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't care, because I trust my instincts. They say that I can trust you, that you really aren't out to hurt me. I don't know who you are or where it is you come from, and I don't care. You give off a sense of adventure, of places I've never been and may never see. So..." She shrugged again, out of words.

Fortunately, he had plenty now, the brief bout of insanity passing him for the time being. Unsettled in the regeneration or not, he knew exactly what to do. "Well then, Oswin, welcome aboard the TARDIS."

"TARDIS?"

"Time and Relative Dimension in Space, TARDIS. Lovely thing, she is. This is my ship. She takes me anywhere and everywhere I want to go." He stepped back, making a flourishing gesture as he'd made when they'd first come onto the ship, indicating the entire room with spread arms. "Did I mention it's also travels in time?" He found himself fidgeting, anxious and unable to be still while she stood there gawking at him, absorbing his words.

"And that makes you what, exactly? An alien?"

"Yeah. Is that a problem?"

"You're mental."

The smile from before was gone, like she wasn't sure if she should be trusting him after all. She probably thought he was lying to her, even with the proof right in front of her. Here was the reluctance he'd wondered at the absence of earlier, and now he cursed himself for it. Even though it had bothered him that she took so much on blind faith he'd hoped she would keep it up. Not having to explain himself to someone for once had been refreshing. But she still hadn't asked for what to call him, and maybe that was because she didn't intend to ever see him again. The thought made him droop, arms dropping along with his head as he adverted his gaze finally. But then he felt resolve steel into him. It was normal not to believe at first, but he'd prove it to her.

"You don't believe me? Alright then, I'll show you." He darted around the console, throwing switches and nudging various buttons and knobs into place. Finally throwing a spinning mechanism that he wasn't entirely sure of what its purpose of and bracing himself as the TARDIS launched into the vortex. His new companion grabbed the rail as the ship lurched around, trying to keep her feet though her little sandals weren't really meant to grip the metal surface. He tried not to pay attention to the pale face as she slid slowly across the room while the ship shifted back and forth, tried not to notice that she was starting to look truly terrified for the first time in their short acquaintance. Mostly he tried not to think about how impossible it was that she was even there, a person that existed in a fashion through every regeneration of his, several times in fact. And she didn't know him, each life singular and not at all like the regenerations of a Time Lord. If she was as he was, then why didn't she know who he was? Why did her memories not coincide with the ones he had of her? And he could tell she wasn't faking her lack of recognition, he'd learned to read others long ago.

Once the TARDIS landed he strode over to the door, throwing it open and popping his head out to get a sense of where he was. When he was. He took in a deep breath then went back inside to motion his companion towards the exit. "London, England. March, 2005." Not all that far, but he wasn't entirely sure of when and where she'd come from. Cardiff, he'd thought given the layout of the park they'd met in, but when? Her clothing suggested nothing, since such a thing could be from anywhere from the 1950s all the way to present time with slight alterations here and there. Just a white sundress with a white hat-like thing pinned in her hair. It wasn't the total proof he'd wanted to offer her, but since he'd been frantically throwing switches and not concentrated on what he was doing it only made sense that this was where he ended up. He came to Earth quite a bit, and the TARDIS was familiar with it.

She came to stand at the exit next to him, peeking out cautiously at first and then curiously as she tried to figure out of he was telling the truth or not. He could tell she wanted to believe him, but things were moving too fast for her to have the level of trust she'd shown before. She knew it, and he'd expected this reaction sooner. But she wanted adventure, she wanted to see new places. She'd told him so, and now he could offer it to her. He watched her every move carefully, watching for signs of distress. He was prepared to have to bring her back to her own time and leave her there, off on his own all over again. The sense of loss was already weighing on his hearts and she hadn't even rejected what he could offer her yet. It was coming, he told himself, she wasn't going to want to come with him.

But then her mouth came agape and she gawked at the massive tower that housed the trademark landmark of Great Britain; Big Ben. "Holy...Oh...it's really..." She looked to him. "Is that what I think it is?" He turned his gaze to the massive clock he'd parked in front of, realizing for the first time that maybe his motions hadn't been entirely off the mark. They'd been in Cardiff moments before, and now stood before Britain's pride. He felt a grin starting to return to him, pleased with himself and feeling a renewed sense of hope. Maybe, possibly, she'd believe him now. She'd have to, with the proof so clear before her.

"Absolutely is, and rightly so." Wow, that manner of speech didn't taste right at all! He made a face at himself then shook his head. Lingering effects of his last regeneration, perhaps.

"But we were just in Cardiff, and..." She looked from him, to the clock, back to him again several times before the light came back on in those eyes.

"Who are you, really?"

Ah, there it was. The question he'd been waiting on, the opening to a new adventure. "I'm the Doctor, just the Doctor."

She bit at her lip, and he prayed she was taking this in stride. Be brave, he told her. Be brave just this once and the adventure you want is yours.

"You really live in a snog box that travels through time?"

"It's not a snog box, and yes I do."

"You're an alien, a time traveling alien. What do you want with me?"

"Technically I travel through space and time, but I won't go into that yet. I want you, Oswin, to come with me. Travel with me, share the adventure. All of space and time, anywhere and any when you could possibly ever imagine, an endless adventure. Say the word, and I'll take you there." A new companion, and someone that made him feel himself again. Why he was so drawn he didn't yet know, just like he couldn't figure out how she'd been in every regeneration of himself without him realizing it before now. Or perhaps he had, and he'd been somehow made to forget. That happened usually when he crossed his own timeline. A future regeneration from a past one, that sort of thing. One of the rules of the Time Lords was to never know you're own future, or more accurately never interfere in your own past. It was a time traveler thing.

"Can you take me home?"

He flinched. Not the words he wanted to hear, but he'd respect them. He shouldn't have let himself believe she'd really want to come with him. He was a murderer, after all, and unworthy of a companion. Not now, maybe not ever again. "Yes, of course. Come on then, Oswin, I'll bring you home." Stupid, he'd been so stupid. It was too soon for a new companion, his depression and memories starting to weigh down on him again, his past memories of this girl growing indistinct. Perhaps that was it there, maybe when he didn't want to face what had happened to her he made himself forget. Pain did not do well with the Doctor, especially the emotional kind. And losing a companion hurt, always.

Slender arms around his chest, small hands dug into the fabric of his leather jacket. A hard tug stopping him in his stride back towards the TARDIS, and surprise pummeling out his sharp depression that had come back to him so quickly. She'd done this before, many times. Fourth regeneration most of all. "Oswin?" He didn't want to hope anymore, didn't want to come out of his shell. He was safe in the shell, no one and nothing could hurt him there, but he was so terribly lonely. Not that he'd admit that to her, or anyone, but still.

"I didn't mean right now, you daft man. Seriously, gents are all the same no matter what species they are. I meant, Doctor, could you take me home if I wanted to go? If I leave with you on this adventure do I get to come home when it's over?"

"You actually want to come with me?" He didn't want to believe, and with this girl he'd let himself believe without meaning to. He was still hurt, still deeply embittered by what he'd done and what was left for him to do. He didn't deserve anything better than to exist alone through the rest of his regenerations, hadn't deserved to regenerate into this form after what he'd done to his own people. Couldn't let her see how much it meant to him to have someone, anyone, with him. To not be alone, even for just a small amount of time. Relatively speaking, of course. Time Lord and all that. His concept of time and hers were probably different.

"All of space and time, an adventure with no expiration date? I'd be crazy not to take the chance." She let him go, stepping out of his space and leaving him feeling oddly...no he wasn't completing that thought. She could come to mean a great deal to him if he didn't watch himself. No one got beyond the shield, not even this impossible girl with her familiar smile and sense of adventure to match his own.

"So, space man, show me around. I've never been to London before."

He couldn't help it, the manic smile spread across his face. Oh the fun they were going to have, and to start in a mundane place would be good. Then he'd go big and never slow down. He leaned just enough to reach her hand and linked their fingers, tugging her once and starting down the street.

"Fantastic."