Beyond Birthday

I don't have the ability to trust people.

I've never been treated normally.

Ever since being brought into the Wammy house, I've been treated as L's backup. Everything I am was for him.

I tried to get used to it, but eventually...

I broke.

I broke and shattered. I escaped from the Wammy house and went insane. It was too much pressure, being a backup. No one seemed to love me for who I was, but more as "L's successor."

Each and everyday, I seemed to lose one more piece of myself. Then finally, I flipped.

That's when the idea came.

In order to get revenge, I decided to become the world's greatest criminal.

Yes, I was going to create a series of crimes even L himself will not be able to solve. I was going to surpass him as a rival.

That's when the murdering began.

I needed a symbol to represent me, something to leave at a crime scene. That way, they would know who committed the crime.

I thought of the Wara Ningyo.

They were perfect they had just the right amount of mystery. They looked quite horrifying, it would give the police quite a scare.

I drugged all my victims. I felt it would be easier to experiment with them when they were drugged.

But it was also a because I didn't want to see their eyes.

Their eyes when they were about to die. I didn't want to imagine or see it.

I'd didn't want to know, I don't want to know, don't think, don't think.

I turned cold and lost my emotions. To kill, you must not have heart, only mind.

So you would understand my shock when I saw her eyes.

I had prepared to get this over with quickly. She looked like a nice person, but nice people are always clouded with evil thoughts. Nice people knew how to manipulate you, they knew what would make you like them. They knew.

That's why I wanted to get rid of them.

Then she opened her eyes.

Her eyes were terrified, but they were calm. I knew that she was running out of ideas to stop me, because in the calmness of her eyes, I saw panic.

I never thought I would speak to a victim. I didn't think I would ever understand them. Their thoughts, ideas, I always thought they were too far away to understand me, to care about me.

I was wrong.

I think she understood me more than anyone has ever understood me. And all she did was look into my eyes and ask a few questions.

But she was going to die.

Her lifespan.

It was going to end today.

And there was nothing I could do about that.

All I could do was cry like a baby, and before I knew what I was doing, she was in my arms.

She was warm. And it was the most comforting feeling I've ever felt.

It was like I was just reborn and given a heart again.

That's when I knew she was going to be able to help me.

But how?

She was about to die, and how could I, someone who has murdered people, be expected to change?

My whole life has caused me to become who I am.

Can I change?

Or am I doomed to become the world's greatest criminal...the worst anyone has ever seen?