"Wha-what?" I stuttered.

"I love you Ally, I never stopped and if you walk out then I have no choice but to believe you don't...love me...anymore" He said slowly, forcing out each word as I saw the pain evident in his face.

I nodded and walked over to my bed, sitting down indian style. He followed and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I can't say I'm sorry for going, because that would be a lie. But I am sorry for breaking my promise, I shouldn't have made a promise I wasn't sure I could keep." I nodded. "So, I guess we have some catching up to do…" I nodded again, still looking at my lap. "I guess I'll just blurt it out, the question that has been eating away at me for a while now…" This got my attention and I looked to him. "Was there anyone else?" Our eyes met and I saw the fear in his eyes.

"No" I said confidently. "Never even kissed anyone else..I couldn't." I said truthfully and he nodded. "Did..did you?"

He shook his head. "I can't even say I talked to another girl...well in that way. I didn't go to any parties or hangouts. I was there for one reason and that was to get better, so I could give you all of me."

"I-I...I was scared that you-" I felt a sob form in my throat and caught it before it could slip out.

"I know, I know because I felt the same way." He reached for my hand but I moved it away.

"Als" He started.

"It's not that easy Austin. You can't just expect me to go back to you that easy. You broke me...again. We've been through so much the past year, we didn't even get to a year as a couple because you left me. You left me all alone with nothing. When you left you took everything I had with you." I felt the tears start to slip, but continued. "You have no idea how many times I fell asleep with my phone in my hand waiting for you to call or text, how many nights I cried myself to sleep. How many meals I skipped because I was worried sick about you. How many times I found myself sitting on my computer staring at the available flights to Colorado and all the strength it took to not click on them. I understand what you went through was hard but because of that you didn't sit and think about me every minute of everyday...because that's what I did. I couldn't even think straight at work, I was always thinking about what you were doing, how you were doing. I missed you so much and didn't have that distraction like you."

"Ally, I understand, I do because I went through it to and I'm sure it was hard to do all of that but there was not a second of those days that you were not on my mind. I knew I would always resent myself for this, but I kept telling myself 'just get better, do it for her, she needs you..completely' I needed to tell myself this because if I had taken that flight back home in August, if I had called you everyday or left that environment to come home early then I would have gone in a downward spiral, I would have shut you out. You would have ended up hating me even more and I would have...I would have ..lost you. I would have lost you forever and I can't do that. I can't lose you Ally. I just can't." I looked up to see his face wet with tears also as he shook his head.

I hadn't thought of that, I hadn't realized that this was as hard on him as it was on me, if not harder. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize. I just thought you wanted to stay there…" I trailed off.

His face hardened and he turned to me. "Why would you think that? Didn't you hear my voice when I called you to tell you I couldn't come home. I explained it to you then, but now I remember you didn't listen to me. All you heard was that I wasn't coming back, you didn't listen to why. You hung up because it wasn't what you wanted to hear. Ally I know that it was hard for you to go through that but you even said yourself, I had to go through getting better along with missing the love of my life. I had to get happy again while my heart was being broken with each day that passed. It wasn't easy and I can't believe I let you make me feel bad about it for this long. I was so worried that you would hate me but why? You have no right to hate me, I needed to do this for my health and you should have understood that." He stood up at this point, clearly upset.

I couldn't believe how stupid I had been, I also couldn't believe that he was flipping out all of a sudden when he was so apologetic a few minutes ago.

"Where is this coming from?" I stuttered, terrified I messed it all up.

"I don't know, I guess I just kind of realized how insensitive you were being. I know I said I didn't want to be pitied or treated differently but damn Ally, you made me feel like shit for wanting to get better."

"Austin!" I gasped. "I said I was sorry, I told you that I was stupid for blaming you!"

"Yeah but that doesn't change the fact that you let me think I was in the wrong. I can't believe I came here ready to beg for forgiveness that I shouldn't even need."

"Austin..are you saying this is my fault because I'm pretty sure you're the one that left and didn't even think to call after the first month. You basically fell off the face of the earth..if it wasn't for your aunt I wouldn't have even known if you were alive."

"Ally...phones work both ways and I'm sure if you have time to instagram a picture of your starbucks you have enough time to send me a simple 'how are you' text. I was the sick one after all"

"You weren't sick Austin. You just had-"

"Allyson wake up! I was sick, and don't underestimate it because I did that for too long. What I had was a illness and I will admit I'm better now but don't say it wasn't real because I lived it and it was real..so real."

"I wasn't saying you were faking, I was just saying-"

"What were you saying?" I stayed quiet, and he let out a sigh. "Maybe we should stop trying to place blame and realize we both made mistakes."

"You're right."

"What?" He asked, like he was almost surprised I agreed.

"You. Are. Right. We were both at fault. We both ignored the problem by refusing to address it! We both missed each other but were too afraid to do anything about it!" I stressed to him.

He nodded and some silence passed before either chose to speak again.

"You never said it back" He said almost inaudible.

"What?"

"You never said I love you back when I told you I still loved you…." He trailed off, I felt the wind get knocked out of me realizing I didn't...but then again I didn't say anything in return.

He started towards the door and I scoffed. "Now who's running?"

"I'm not running, but..I think I just need to..get air or something. I um..I'll see you later. Get some rest and there's leftover soup in the fridge" He walked out, without another word.

I turned over and screamed into my pillow. How stupid could I have been? I should have laid off, I shouldn't have put all the blame on him. I should have told him that I still loved him. I needed to make this right, so I jumped out of bed and slipped on my shoes before grabbing my phone and heading for the door.

As I opened it, I found a frazzled Austin holding up his hand..most likely ready to knock.

"Austin, I-"

He cut me off. "I forgot my phone" He looked down at me with sad eyes.

"I'm sorry, please just hear me out." I paused waiting for him to protest, but he didn't. "I should have had more compassion, I should have been more understanding. I should have told you I loved you too. I should have done a lot of things but I can't go back and change it because it's in the past. All I can do is promise to be better in the future. I've hated promises ever since ours was broken, but I want to promise you to always tell you how I feel and to listen to you when you tell me how you feel. I was so used to you shutting me out that I didn't realize you were trying to let me in. I love you Austin, I never stopped and I want this to work." I paused, but he just sat there staring at me. Blinking. "I want nothing more than this to work, even if that-"

I was cut off by something soft and warm covering my lips...it took me second to realize it was Austin's. I relaxed into the kiss, shutting my eyes and letting the kiss take me over completely. The sparks and electric shocks coursing through my body and up my spine. It was everything I had been dreaming of and more, better than before. I missed it so much that it was over too soon.

Austin slowly pulled back but let his lips hover there for a few seconds as both of us regained our breath. His hands remained on the small of my back as mine were now on his chest, clutching his t-shirt.

"I also forgot that" He whispered, barely audible.

I glanced up at him, meeting his hungry eyes. All the pain and fear was gone, replaced with passion and want. Kind of like how I felt right now, I had waited three months for this and I wasn't about to let it end that quickly. I leaned up and closed the gap between us again, this time it wasn't a sweet, romantic kiss it was one filled with all the desire and lust that had been bottled up in the past months. He pushed me back gently into the privacy of the room. Kicking the door shut behind him he flipped us over and pressed my back against the door. I lifted my legs and wrapped them around his torso and he moved one of his hands to support them. Completely out of breath we both pulled away but he moved to the crook of my neck and began kissing it gently.

He found the one spot that I knew he would never forget and I tossed my head back to allow better access. He lifted me up with both hands and moved to the couch, softly tossing me onto it. He reconnected with my lips and I ran my hands up and under his shirt. I felt his hands caress my curves and then it all stopped. I felt the world stop spinning and my eyes shot open.

"We can't do this" He breathed out, hovering over my mouth only pulling away a few inches.

I felt a pang in my heart but knew he was right. "Just got carried away in old habits I guess" I said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, I missed that."

I giggled. "I could tell" This caused him to smirk and then I felt the warmth being ripped away from me as he sat up on the couch.

"I better go, before Tori and Scott get back and start thinking things…" he trailed off and the mood was instantly changed to an awkward, unknown one. He didn't move from the couch, and didn't show any signs of moving for some time.

"Yeah..that would be bad"

He laughed nervously. "Soo bad"

"Austin?"

"Yeah?"

"What are we?"

He turned and looked at me for a long time with an unreadable expression before looking away again.

"I'm not sure...I think it's too early to say. Obviously you know where I stand, I just don't think we should rush anything we both have our issues and need to build that trust again. So I think only time will tell. There are going to be a lot of changes that we go through as individuals and as a..."

He stuttered, afraid to use the word 'couple' so I helped him out to take off the pressure. "Duo" I giggled at the use of the word.

"Yeah as a duo. But like I was saying a lot of changes means we are going to have to evolve and roll with the punches and I'm up for the challenge if you are..."

I nodded. "I am..but like our we going to like...um see-"

"Ally" He took my hands in his and turned to me. "I don't want to be with anyone else, and I don't plan on it. I can't stop you from seeing anyone else because really I just want to see you happy. Don't get me wrong it will kill me to see you with someone else but I mean if-"

"I don't want anyone else either. I want us to work." I smiled softly.

"Me too." He smiled back.

We both looked up at the door that was now being opened. Austin dropped my hands and readjusted on the couch. For now we had to appear as friends, because that's all we were. That broke my heart, I wanted to just have the title again but even I knew we had a lot to work out and now that Austin realized how insensitive I was he probably had a few walls himself that needed to be broken down.

"Hey, glad to see you guys didn't kill each other" Tori giggled, walking over to her bed and sitting down to take off her sneakers.

"Tor! Sorry, but I'm gonna head back you ready Austin?"

He nodded and gave me a glance and a small smile before getting up and walking out with Scott. I smiled to myself then spotted his phone on the table and remembered why he had came back. I scooped it up before rushing out of the room, leaving my shoes and a confused Tori behind.

"Austin!" I yelled after his and Scott's retreating backs.

They both turned around and I saw as a smile grew on Austin's face. I slowed down my pace as I was only a few feet from them and outreached my hand to give him his phone. When he took it from me our hands brushed and if I didn't know any better he did it on purpose. But that's if I didn't know any better.

"Thanks" He smiled. "I knew I forgot something" He winked and I saw Scotts face turn out of curiosity next to him.

"Anytime. See you guys tomorrow" I smiled back and turned to leave. Just as I left earshot of them I heard Scott ask Austin what 'that' was and if we were cool again. To that I'm not sure what Austin said but I hoped it was positive, and by the look on his face before I walked away... it was.

Thank you to all the wonderful reviews and favorites and follows! To show my gratitude I spent my whole Sunday morning and some afternoon writing and reviewing this chapter! Hope you all loved it, please let me know what you re thinking as this isn't how I usually write my stories and its kind of new to me. I am trying though and I hope you guys like it. As usual I want to know who you guys are siding with, now naturally as the writer I don't want you taking sides but its only human right? So who do you think is in the wrong here? XOXOX