A/N: So, here's the first chapter! This is pretty angsty but don't worry. This is a story with a happy ending! Again, a big thank you to the wonderful Seduff for the inspiration for this story. And now, without further ado ...

Disclaimer: I do not own the Doctor, Rose Tyler, or John Smith. Neither do I own the song Nobody Sees, from which many lines shall be quoted through out the rest of the story.

Nobody Sees

Chapter 1: How It Feels

"Nobody knows just how it feels today ..."

Six months later found the human Doctor (now going by the name John Smith) and Jackie Tyler standing in the kitchen of the flat he and Rose shared. Six months hadn't gone well and Jackie was worried. She was a loving mother and she had noticed things that worried her. One thing she noticed terrified her – Rose was always distant. If John said he loved her, she responded in a far away voice. Whenever Rose looked at him, it was obvious she was seeing someone else. This scarred Jackie. She liked John and didn't want him to get hurt, but more importantly, she knew her daughter was never going to heal if she kept pining for an alien who was sealed off in another universe and who had already rejected her.

"She still misses him, doesn't she?" Jackie asked John that day in the kitchen, not bothering to clarify who him was – they both knew.

John tried to seem nonchalant, "Yeah, she still misses him." He tried to pretend that this didn't bother him – that it wasn't breaking his heart. But he couldn't stop thinking about what had been happening these past few months and what had happened just yesterday when they had gone to Pete and Jackie's mansion to visit little Tony. One minute Rose had been by his side and the next, had been sitting on a window seat gazing into the distance with her mind even more distant, all because someone had said the word ginger. Yeah, this did bother him, but he really didn't need to let Jackie know that.

They both returned to the living room to join everyone else, but when Jackie took another look at John's face, she made an imperial decision that it was time that she and Pete went back home to Tony.

Pete (predictably) began to protest, "Love, it's only-" but Jackie silenced him with a look.

"Rose, love, that was a lovely supper. You come visit me tomorrow, alright? We gotta get back to Tony now."

"Oh, um, 'course, Mum," Rose mumbled, looking slightly confused. "But Tony'll be fine. You can stay a little longer!"

"No, we've gotta go! Love you, darlin'." Jackie hurried herself and Pete out of there as quickly as she could. After looking at John's face, she had realized that her question had opened the floodgates and she and Pete didn't need to be there when everything got flooded.

John left soon after wards. He loved Rose and knew that if he had to say one word to her right now, he would regret it later. He walked around all night, waiting for the anger inside of him to die down like it usually did. But it didn't. The anger, hurt, and despair that he felt just got greater and greater, building like a wave. John couldn't go home, not till he calmed down.

It just wasn't fair! He worked so hard to please her – he loved her so much. But Rose was so distant – so focused on "the real Doctor" she rarely even noticed him, really noticed him. They'd been so happy at first, but Rose had begun to become distant and there had been nothing he could do to stop it.

John was brilliant; you'd think he'd be able to figure out way to get through to Rose, but he couldn't. He was helpless and felt so human – he hated it. Although, come to think of it, he'd been a bit rubbish at making the whole love thing work even when he had had two hearts. Just look at the debacle with Madame de Pompadour, oh, and the one with Joan Redfern. And when it came to telling Rose he loved her that first time at Bad Wolf Bay, he'd been pretty rubbish too – letting her say it first and then wasting so much time that he never got to say it back …

Even though she hurt him so much, John couldn't stay away from Rose for very long, and so, he crept back into the flat in the wee hours of the morning, even though his emotions were not completely under control. He hoped Rose was in bed, asleep, but she wasn't. She was in a dressing gown, waiting for him, an angry look on her face.

That's the most emotion she's shown in three months, John thought.

"Where the hell were you?" Rose said in a quiet, angry voice. "You just left without a word and have been gone for hours. But, of course, you didn't think about the fact that I might be worried."

John glared at her. "Oh, so you noticed! I suppose that makes sense – you got worried when your one representation of the other … universe disappeared."

"Now, that's not fair!"

"Isn't it? I knew traveling with me had changed you, Rose Tyler. I thought it had changed you so that you knew you were part of something greater. But you're just like all the other humans," he said bitterly. "You don't want to help anyone – you're only interested in bringing the stars closer to you so that you can use them. That's the only reason you took my hand at Bad Wolf Bay – so that you could see 'him' everyday." He was so hurt – he had come too soon and her words had let out all the feelings he had spent all night trying to put away. But, even so, as soon as he said those words, he regretted them. They weren't really true. His Rose was the most selfless person he had ever met. But she had been alone for so long and had tried so hard to get her life on the TARDIS with the Doctor back that when he had turned her away for everyone else's good, it hurt too much for her to accept his gift. She didn't want the "consolation prize". But she didn't realize that her "prize" really was the Doctor. John knew all this, but sometimes (like tonight), it was more than the human side of him could stand.

"I'm sorry," he whispered sincerely, trying to make up for what he had just said, trying to wipe that stricken look off her face.

"Just go," was her only response.

"Go where?" he asked with a little laugh – trying to appear unworried, hoping against hope that she wasn't serious. One look at her face, however, proved that she was. And so he protested, "But I love you!" It didn't matter how much Rose hurt him, he had to stay because it would hurt even more to leave.

But Rose didn't relent. "I said, 'Go!'"

John looked at her incredulously. She couldn't be turning him away – even after what he had said. They'd been through too much together. Then he began to feel angry again. She was done with him? Fine! Without her, maybe he could find a way to be useful to the universe again. But it would hurt so- no, don't think about it. The future is the future. No use in thinking about the pain of losing my Rose. Besides, he was a Time Lord. He didn't need her. She wasn't the Rose he knew anyway, not any more. This proved it.

Rose watched John stomp out, anger and hurt written all over his face. She followed him to the door, leaned against it when it closed, and let out a deep breath. Then she sank down and began to sob. She had just kicked out someone who she knew, with out a doubt, loved her. But when he had accused her of bring the stars down to her level and of using him, she had just snapped. Not because it was completely unjustified – it wasn't. She snapped because she recognized the little kernel of truth in his words and her defense against her guilty conscience was anger.

The thing was, she had tried – she'd tried really hard – to make their relationship work. And for the first three months, they'd been pretty happy. But as time went on, she began to feel guilty every time they kissed or she told him that she loved him. Rose felt as though she was cheating on the real Doctor. And so, she started showing John less and less affection so that she wouldn't have to feel the inevitable backlash of guilt.

But Rose became lonely, so lonely. She looked at John so that she could see the Doctor and comfort herself. But that only reminded her that she could never be with her Doctor. She'd gotten to him once and had been sent back again. It hurt so much to realize that and to know that she still loved him. It hurt even more to have someone who loved her completely and not be able to love him in the same way. But Rose had stayed with John, hoping that maybe things would work themselves out. Besides, if she lost John, her Doctor's precious face would begin to fade in her memories.

In Rose's clearer moments, she had realized that she was in a holding pattern that she couldn't get out of. Ignoring John, thinking of the Doctor, using John, feeling guilty about using John, paying attention to John, feeling guilty about paying attention to John, ignoring John, feeling lonely, thinking of the Doctor …

Rose had thrown John out in a fit of anger, but perhaps it was a good thing. She could finally break out of the cycle she had been stuck in and he could move on. Because while she loved John, she was only in love with the Doctor, and John deserved more than a girl whose heart was claimed by an alien that he wasn't.

Yeah, this could be a good thing, right?

A/N: I know it seems like they can't make things work out, but I promise they will! Reviews feed my little writer's soul and make me write faster. So, please, review!