Remember?
Home again after watching to scratch the back of your head in the cute way that you do. Your sun kissed skin so golden I swear you glow. The girls asking for your autograph and hugs are cute and small and more feminine than I will ever be. But do you remember I exist? Do I cross your mind at all?
Remember the night in Miami
Do you remember the day and the night I spent in the hospital after I admitted my love for you? You never came to visit. They told me you went berserk but from you it was like it never happened. My love didn't happen.
First time you put your arms around me
I remember the first time you looked at me and I couldn't even make eye contact. Kami! You were so cute and you stood up for me from the people who made fun of my eyes. Honestly I think I saw you first and yet Sakura had your attention. Even after I gave you salve I stayed up all night to make I was never more to you than an extra teammate. I did eventually get a hug and I passed out but yeah. One hug.
I'm up reminiscin' (ooh yeah)
I think I use it as ways to tell myself that I must not be hideous otherwise you wouldn't have hugged me at the waterfall mission. That was me at the waterfall naked by the way. That let me know you liked my body if nothing else, although, back then I was just embarrassed way too much.
Thinking 'bout you isn't helping
I hate I think about you so much. You are literally the first and last think I think about every day. Kiba says that it would never work and I'm starting to believe that he's right.
Thinking 'bout you doesn't tell me
If you're playing oblivious you are the best.
What good it would do, if I decide to face the truth
I think I just need to face facts that even if I did come on to you or ask for a date it would just be "between friends". I'd lose you as even a friend and is that worth the risk? Would that hurt worse than watching you smile at me the same way you do everyone else. I'm just another villager whose name you know. I'm not special to you. The phrase "special people" you say is a cup and a half of LIES.
It could've been right but I was wrong
I could've been your partner. I'd give up everything for you. I've always thought my kind acts and words that were so genuine would make you look my way but you'd rather pine after a girl who punches you for any and everything.
Only think 'bout you when I'm alone
I sit at Kurenai's home and watch her baby and wonder what our baby would look like. You want children right? You were always so alone I thought you would want a big family. The girls tell me to ask you out and to tell you but that's easy for them they are all beautiful and get drooled over on a daily basis.
You only hit me up when she's not home
I notice when Sakura leaves to go on missions I suddenly exist. We frequent the same areas and I assume you go there too cause you miss her. Actually not just her. It seems like when all your friends leave do you notice who's left. When Sakura leaves, Sai goes to be with Ino, Kakashi is too busy, Shikamaru is with Temari, Choji is gone to eat for the fifteenth time today then its "let's check on Hinata" time.
And that's why, I can't, get caught up
Even if I got you to agree to be with me it would be half assed. You would dedicate yourself because that's your nindo but I would never make it into your heart would I? I refuse to be second best….even for you.
We could've been
I could have loved you
And we try to pretend
I pretend and hope you are too.
Every now and again
Ugh! I hate that I love you.
We don't dream about, don't think about what
You don't dream about me at all what I am even saying at this point.
We could've been
I'm still looking at the back of your head and those golden locs and that back that's gone from boy to man and yet you never turn around to look at me.
Though I'm holding again
I'm tongue tied when you're close.
'Cause I know in the end
I know that I'm still crushing on you. I know that I love you as much as you know that you want to be Hokage.
You dream about, I think about what
What do you dream about? Who do you imagine being with you when you achieve the title of Hokage?
We could've been
I can love you why don't you understand.
We could've been
Am I not strong enough? The ideal woman for you? I thought breasts and hips were womanly but I guess not. Maybe I don't get it at all.
We could've
I guess I can't help the way that you feel like you can't help mine.
We could've been
Naruto
What we could've been, we could've been
I can't keep writing these and I'm destroying myself but this is the only way to let you go. I think if I keep writing these I can finally be done with my feelings even though you will never see these.
Hinata closes her book the for the night, lightly caressing the side of Hanabi's face. Her sister used to be so ill tempered and emotionless but over time she became more sweet and acting her age. Her and her father's relationship on the other hand is on thin ice but working toward better times. She looked so much like her mother it physically hurt him to look at Hinata and so making her cruel he thought could change that and it only made her sweeter and more gentle. Hinata removes her jacket and bra and lays in her bed with her sister, pulling the blankets up by their shoulders.
"Good night imouto"
Unfortunately for Hinata, she talks while she writes and even more unfortunately Hanabi heard her words of sorrow. Her burning hatred for Naruto only amplified by this second letter to Naruto.
"He should read these so he understands what he's done to my sister" Hanabi thought
She bites her lip in contemplation and then slides out of bed and quickly grabs the two letters, stuffing them in an envelope and placing them under the pillow she was sleeping on.
"When morning comes Naruto will pay for this Hinata, I promise", says Hanabi circling her little arms around her sister as best as she could and falling asleep to the smell of lavender and vanilla.