Chapter 2

"Growing up sucks", as Maggie so eloquently put it from time to time. She would describe life as a car picking up speed and never slowing down. From 5 mph, and slowly but inevitably crawling to 150. You watch out the windows as things zip by, suddenly appearing in the rearview mirror, and quickly blurring far in the distance. Time doesn't slow down. It doesn't stop. It simply gains momentum and passes you by. Even when you feel you're as solid and grounded to the 'now' as possible, marinating in the days as thoroughly as you can, you'll always end up looking back at a strange pile of memories thinking, 'where DID the time go...?"

Sure, she had memories of a young girl who once played with her brother for hours on end in the backyard, the summer sun beating down and reddening their small noses.

Sure, she recalled times of an awkward, blemished chin teenager making her way up and down the halls of an old, musty smelling, crowded high school.

Sure, she remembered those first months of college, sleepless nights, and endless experiences she knew she'd perhaps regret the next day.

Whoever those girls were though, they sure didn't feel like her. These other Maggie's had all contributed to the culmination of what she was today. Though, as far as she was concerned, she was just some android that had recently been booted up, and given these memories. Sometimes she so vividly remembered things, yet they were strangely unfamiliar at times.

"I can't believe that girl was me." Maggie thought to herself, clutching the steering wheel of her delightfully shitty Honda Hatchback. She often resorted to auto pilot, both figuratively and literally, when driving. Her brain was a machine of constant memories and daydreams. The subconscious thought that would pop into her mind the most was the simple fact she had somehow become this twenty six year old woman. It was undeniably surreal. Yet here she was. Soon this day too would be gone. As would the next, and the next, until she awoke one day sixty and confused. A fear that plagued her on the regular.

Maggie was headed home and was taking in the scenery of the back roads as opposed to the freeway route. The chill winter air, which felt much more fall-like in her neck of the woods, blew in through her partially rolled down window. She slowed to a stop at a red light. Matching her at the crosswalk line was a young man in a red F 150. Bro shades, an obnoxiously neon sleeveless shirt, and a sun bleached head of hair. He did a double take in her direction.

"This guy..." she mumbled. Now, Maggie isn't necessarily one to judge, but when the stranger looked her dead in the eye and smooched up at the air, she audibly gawked. He rolled the window down. Shit, here we go.

"Lovin' the hair!" No reply came to her in time. "Do hippies give good head?"

Hippie? As ignorant as he looks. Precious.

The light turned green. Maggie let off the brake, "I'd give you a kiss but your mouth looks like a cat's butt hole!" She sped up and took a left instead of heading straight through. Now on a quiet suburb road, she aimlessly drove around looking for a way to turn around. Her heart was slowing down finally. Face flush. Maggie was notoriously easy to fluster, and her comebacks were usually less than impressive. She hated to say nothing, however.

Something lit up by her hand. "Gas. Daaaammit." The low warning light had come on, alerting her to consider a refill. Her robotic instincts sent her on a new side quest. A side quest that was going to cost her more than she'd like to bother spending. "I've got five bucks cash, you jag off. That's all you get." She patted the dash like it was some big dumb animal.

A block away she saw a spinning seashell, towering above, with the light blue backdrop of sky. "Gas ahoy!" Maggie cranked her music down as she rolled into the number two pump, grabbed her wallet, and made her way towards the small building. She peered back to confirm her lane and noticed the '2' decal was missing a portion of its lower half. It now resembled a jagged hook. She held her gaze for a moment but almost ran into a couple exiting the building. She quickly apologized and continued through the glass door. It closed behind her, it's 'Two for One Taquito' poster obscuring the view to the inside.

She weaved down the tight aisles to the fridges on the back walls as if by instinct.

Oh no...no no.

She hadn't mean to. She had yet to disconnect these bad habits. There she was in the beer and alcohol section.

I just want those tiny personal cartons.

Her eyes darted up, down, ah! "Riesling for the win." An alcoholic with classy taste, she liked to think. It was in fact, the very opposite.

As per usual, she justified it, and proceeded to grab three of them. Not a problem...

Just stocking up is all.

That was a lie.

It's cute and sweet.

Another lie.

It's also a crutch.

"Whatever." Her inner arguments weren't uncommon, and her physical reactions trumped that quiet voice that kindly asked for her to go with the giant can of tea for a dollar instead.

She placed the three little boxes on the counter and readied her ID. "Five cash on two and I've got debit for the drinks." Even she knew her priorities were all kinds of screwed up. The guilt of swiping that card stung. How did she manage to justify this to herself every time? That was the frustrating part.

She plopped back into the car after filling up and sat for a moment. "Fifteen bucks for this fucking wine. Five bucks for gas. Maggie, you're an idiot. Congratulations." Her throat tightened up and she inhaled painfully. She shook the sudden sadness and started the car up. Don't think about it. Just get home.