Author's Note: Whoa, I got thirty-seven reviews in just two days! It took quite a bit longer for my other parody to get that much! I think this is a hit…Well, because of the overwhelming popularity of this fanfic (very few Narnia fanfics get even ten reviews!), I have decided to continue it :) You can blame that on my oversized ego and…well…I liked writing it :)

Believe me, I'm not an extreme Narnia-purist by any stretch of the imagination; I know so much about this in the first place because I actually like the original concept. I used to write them! (still do, in a way :)) I do not, however, like the overly-perfect, holier-then-thou, weird eye/hair-coloured Mary-Sues. There is only one Mary-Sue (not counting parodies or OC-falls-into-insert-place/story-name-here) with cliché elements I like, and that was quite a piece of literature (won quite a few awards, actually…). My point is that Aslan and I were thoroughly sick of the puke-worthy stories, and decided to work together to parody them. And he's extremely out of character because he is outrageously, undeniably mad that this has been going on for so long :D

I can't reply to you all (that would take a long time, and I only have so much space to use before it becomes ridiculous :)) though I wish I could, but I can tell you this: go ahead and write a story similar to this one, just give me credit (please:)) and don't get more reviews then me lol. And all the constructive crit. has been read: I don't claim to be the best writer, but I try :) Masked Soldier, Just keep reading constructive critism, and checking out Mary-Sue litmus tests. I guarantee you'll have a better idea what to write :) Plus, I agree Aangsgal. Well-written angst stories do rock :) eartheart, It's the reviewers like you that made TLHI it into a series: fellow book-reading, old-movie-seeing, old-series series seeing, loyal Narnian fans! ;) And Catty Etiquette, Mary-Sues cannot have normal names for the same reason they cannot look normal: that would be too original! –Nods– and Nyah…I have been bouncing around the idea for a good model story for awhile, and I think I just might write it soon :) steelelf, you inspired me :D For everyone else, you keep me going. Well, here we will understand the importance of being earn- I mean, the importance of not writing Edmund Mary-Sues :)

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Enchantress ReallyPwettyHair © Me (feel free to steal her)

'Streetlight Place' © Me (MINE!)

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A SPECIAL THANKS TO: steelelf, because your review rocked my sox :)

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This Lion's Had It!

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Chapter Two: Do NOT Mary Sue Edmund!

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Canon: The original works published or authorized by the authors/author. This includes all characters, places, etc. in them, and is a term that can be used to collectively describe what was originally written. 'That's not canon!' would refer to the fact that it does not apply to the 'rules' set down in the story/stories, and is therefore incorrect.

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It was a glorious night in the Lantern Waste (or 'streetlight place', in this fanfic), as the sunset faded into a 'Crimson yellow' glow. Which did not make sense, but then not much in this story makes sense anyway. The land was quiet, save for some…ahem, rustling bushes. But we don't really care about them; we care about the silent, shadowy figure who watched the bushes with intelligent brown eyes.

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"I olve u, Edmund," The Mary-Sue squeaked, sounding like she'd inhaled helium. This is why you should not use 'she waz floatyy, and exccitde, and felte lik hse, wus higher tehn eht clouds' as a description.

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She was currently sitting as close as possible to Edmund, on a bench that had spontaneously appeared only metres from the infamous lamppost. How they spontaneously transmigrated from the bushes to the bench is a question that requires 'logic', which should (in our not-so-humble opinion) be considered a swear word.

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Edmund eyes were glassy as he kissed her. 'My sewet, i shal live yo, 'till-"

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"This is painful." That one callous remark made them snap to attention. Enchantress ReallyPwettyHair and the object of her affections turned to the previously mentioned shadowy figure.

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"Hwo iz itt?" Edmund asked, cautiously. You see, the fic, had rather ruined, punctuation, and was currently, abusing, the, comma.

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The shadowy figure came forward into the light, only he was now obviously a not-so-shadowy Great Lion.

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"Edmund, what has she done to you?" Aslan said sadly.

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"How are yuo?" said a rather confused Enchantress. You see, because the writer was extremely scared of all-knowing lions, she had simply…'forgotten' the King of the Wood. She had ailurophobia, actually (that's a fear of cats).

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Aslan sighed again, and then seemed to become even more determined.

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"I say agani who rae ou strrangre are you form arond her?" And then the writer went from to much punctuation to absolutely none at all and decided to use run-on sentences and not specifying who was speaking.

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"That is enough." Aslan stated firmly. "Enchantress ReallyPwettyHair, I charge you with knocking Edmund so far out of character he could not touch canon with a twenty-foot pole, putting a bench in the Lantern Waste (no, not 'streetlight place!'), transmigrating, positively excruciating descriptions, an idiotic name and being a 'half-unicorn, half-human' (If you liked horses, why didn't you just become a centaur? That is what is known as 'original')!"

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"Eh?" The 'Sue said blankly, puzzled at his strange spelling and grammar. Aslan rolled his eyes. Which wasn't very canonical, but he's had a rough day.

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As I said before, the ensuing fight was too gory to be described play-by-play. Though it doesn't really matter because you can rest assured that the 'Sue died, painfully.

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…

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Okay, I just couldn't resist. Aslan grabbed her, and (since the canon was screwed up enough) manage to deposit her into the nearby Calormen, where the Tarkans- well, I'll leave that to your imagination. Of course, he roughed her up a bit before that.

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Aslan lip curled up in disgust, and he wiped the blood (I'm sure you all know what colour it is) off his paws.

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"It is done," He said solemnly, then lead a bewildered Edmund back to Cair Paravel.

The End

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I know it may seem like it's starting to repeat itself (I bet I won't get that many reviews for this chapter…), but I can promise next chapter will most definitely be interesting- Aslan deals with a Mary-Sue authoress:) Happy New Years, everyone! And I never claimed to be perfect Astral :)