A/N: You lucky ducks! You get an update in the same day! Please show your consideration by reviewing. -innocent grin-

Ella

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Chapter 2

B is for Beluga Whale(s)

Bella pressed her nose on the glass, which was growing increasingly dirtier the longer the DEs were in the building. The fish looked at each other and sighed.

"When do you think these damn people will leave?" one asked the other.

"I don't know, but I hope it's soon. That one guy over there," said the other fish, gesturing with his fin to Voldie, who was wearing a newly "purchased" shark hat and bobbing his head to the didgeridoo band playing in the lobby, "is really creeping me out."

The other fish nodded and the pair went back to living their enthralling, fishy lives in a glass box.

Meanwhile, Voldie had thrown himself into the mosh pit surrounding the didgeridoo band. He was jumping up and down screaming at the top of his lungs. Then he freed himself from the crowd, took a running start, and jumped on top of the sweaty mass of people. He crowd surfed (which, by the way, may look fun, but it is really just an excuse for the crowd to grope whoever is surfing) his way to the stage, punched the lead didgeridooer in the face and took over for him.

Bella sighed, peeled her face away from the glass and jumped onstage to drag Voldie off by his ear. She pressed her finger to Voldie's Dark Mark™, making him whimper. The DEs apparated around her, while the loveable citizens of BlindandorStupidPeopleWhoDon'tNoticeaMassofDeathEatersWalkingAroundtopia took no notice.

"Okay, DEs," Bella said, glaring around at her fellow Death Eaters like a military school teacher, "we need to go back to the Death Eater Hideout™." All the DEs nodded their heads in agreement, looked at each other excitedly, clapped their hands, did the hokey pokey… that sort of thing.

They all held hands and said, "I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to fly with dragons in a land apart!" The dragon scale Bella had pulled out of thin air began glowing rainbow, and they were whisked away to their homely Death Eater Hideout™ (aka the Malfoys' mungo mansion, complete with butler, three car garage, indoor pool, skating rink, and basketball court, not to mention the Malfoys and their beloved son, Dumbo).

Dumbo Malfoy ran outside to greet the Death Eaters. "Umm… excuse me?! Ms. Author! My name is Draco, not Dumbo!" The Author then proceeded to tell Dumbo exactly why his name was Dumbo. Dumbo, being the easily-embarrassable teen that he was, ran inside the house with his face bright red after hearing such a composed, beautiful young woman (aka moi) use such language.

Lumpkin, father of Dumbo and wife of Gnarlycissa, hurried outside. He, too, was burning red, but not because the author had offended him somehow; because his son was such an incompetent nincompoop. Most of the DEs had gone off on their merry ways, prancing around the garden, petting the peacocks and such nonsense because they had attention spans rivaled only by the goldfish back at the aquarium. Or a ten-year old boy in today's technology world. Oh, I remember when computers weren't even invented! They blahity blah blah blah. The DEs all looked up as the Author went on a seemingly endless ramble about "the good old days" (aka before she was alive), then shrugged and continued their buffoon-nonsense.

One Death Eater, however, was not petting a peacock. He was crying on the ground. "I w-wanted to s-see the Beluga Whale!" he cried. Lumpkin tried to pacify him with a pretty peacock, but the DE just spat the peacock out on the ground, where it ruffled its feathers dignifiedly and went off on a date with a pretty girl peacock. This DE was, in fact, the same NDE with the hunchback and eye patch way back in Ch. 1. He stopped his crying momentarily to look around at his fellow DEs and NDEs. Upon spotting Bellatrix, he ran at her, screaming, "Beluga Whale! It's a Beluga Whale!" Bella, needless to say, was not amused.

A few moments later, when the smoldering wreck that was once an NDE had finished smoking, the Author decided she needed another break.

What will happen next?

Will Bella ever get over being called a Beluga Whale?

Will the Malfoys ever redeem themselves?

Find out in the next episode of:

Alphabet for a Death Eater!