~ Trenton White ~
There she is. Wow, there she is. In all her professional and arrogant glory, clad in a dark pantsuit and a dark briefcase in her hand, there she is. A far cry from how I remember her when I last saw her … years ago. There she is. My mother.
Standing at the doors of the centerpiece pyramid, dubbed the Innovation Center, she scanned the throngs of people that busily walked Main Street behind myself. She was scanning the crowd for me, but I remained hidden by my black hoodie (despite the tropical climate, I remain evermore cold). However, my gaze remained on her, but I knew she couldn't feel my presence. Strange how I didn't stand out, with my hoodie amid the array of short shorts and tank tops. Then again, who am I to her? Simply her son, I suppose. Emphasis on simply.
Just shows how strong our bond is. I thought.
I haven't seen Josephine, or, dare I say, my mother, in quite a number of years. My father divorced her when I was twelve and received total custody of me. He chose to cut her off completely. So, Josephine did the only logical thing and disappeared without a trace. For the reasons being, I'm not too sure. No one's sure for that matter. I was only a naïve twelve-year-old! As one can imagine, there is little to be left to the youth's imagination.
Other than support payments, there was no connection to her and she disappeared from my life. It was only through oral stories (more-so rumors) from neighbors and friends that gave me a very vague sense of where she could be or what became of her. Yet, no matter who I asked, I never got a definite or satisfying answer.
Then the letter came.
And it's because of that letter that I am standing at the steps of some of the most revolutionary genetic technology to date. Nothing fascinates me more. Since I could comprehend what other life forms there were other than human beings, I've been fascinated by dinosaurs. My own fascination led me to my own hunger for research on those life forms. One thing led to another and I entered a contest.
Even before submission, I convinced myself I wasn't going to win. It was much too good to be true for me. An internship on Isla Nubar to study anything and everything I can get my hands on concerning Jurassic life …? God, not even in my wildest dreams.
There were three winners and all received the internship. But first place received a full ride; all expenses and airfare paid. Second got half paid, and third a quarter. After sending in a plethora of essays, petitions, recommendation letters, I still had little hope. Mostly because I didn't want anything except first. Not for my own pride (don't worry, I'm not an arrogant douche!), but for financial reasons. My dad can't afford that all alone.
But then the letter came!
I received it this past June. It was actually two letters: my acceptance and financial statement. My acceptance letter said I got first place, so I didn't care to look at the financial statement. Then again, I also fainted right after I read my acceptance, so ….
And here I am! Here I am!
Oh god, just thinking about where I was got me excited enough to trek up the steps, eager to enter into my version of a candy shop. I forgot about Josephine for a split second.
"Trenton?" her clear-cut voice pierced my ears. I approached her, my jaw clenched in defense. I didn't know what to expect from there on. I don't know what to say, either!
"Mother." I replied in the same manner, but less questioningly.
We stood facing one another, about ten feet away. People walked between us, but it wasn't enough to keep her quiet. No urge to approach her was within me. Let alone hug her ….
After a while she spoke, "Look at you! You're all … grown up!"
I had half a mind to say 'You too!' because she aged like a bowl of fruit. There was not a single grey hair on her auburn head, but there were plenty of wrinkles and bags around her eyes and mouth to show she's been worn down substantially. She looked better than her worst days with us, which I recall well, but still much worse than her best. I guess being the lead financial coordinator for the park sounds tough, so I'll give her that.
My lips pursed and I nodded, "Yeah, thank you."
I surely had nothing more to say beyond that, so I remained quiet. Josephine was tense, looking around for something to say. But after a while, she recalled why I was here and brought that up. Probably wanting to ruin it. I thought.
"So, your internship! That's exciting, right?"
Why phrase it as a question? Your the one who signed the financial statement, right? That's the only reason I know you're here. It is not a coincidence that I am completely invested into researching prehistoric life forms. Oh, I see an opportunity to throw her off. "Yes," I replied. "I am very invested in anything concerning the paleontological field. How would it not be exciting?"
"Well, that's good. I'm glad for you."
I knew what I was currently in her eyes. A dollar sign. 'How much money could the park make with investors who want internships for people like me?', was the current question in her head. I know they made a lot of money from the fees to enter into the internship contest, which was not all too much per person. But the publicity they will make from having these young people coming to intern here. Josephine was certainly not thinking about, 'How will I make it up to my son?' or maybe, 'How has he been after I left him with a father who barely ever sees because of his two jobs to take care of his son and his mother?'
"Thank you." I replied, chewing my bottom lip afterwards.
"So is your … father here?" she said, tautly.
"Huh? Oh, yeah, he is unpacking in the room right now. Nana's also here. I'll meet up with them later." They were both staying with me for the two weeks before the internship was to start. They deserved this vacation. I mean, they dipped into my college fund, but at this point I'm assured with a lot of scholarships. As a high school junior, I already have some. Josephine let out a scoff,
"They left you by yourself to wander this park? Pah, that's reasonable. Letting a fifteen-year-old to wander these crowds alone." In a matter of a second, I went from respectable to being filled with anger. I was able to contain myself, not saying anything of what I really wanted to say. I simply replied,
"I-I'm seventeen."
"Oh," she murmured and looked away with a creased brow. "has it really been that long?" I nodded,
"Yeah, it has."
There was a nagging feeling within me that wouldn't go away. It was an urge that bugged me ever since I approached the building and saw her. I want to tell her everything. I want to tell her about the feeling of abandonment that I dealt with for years and the overwhelming guilt I was plagued with, as if it was all my fault. I want to tell her how I would hide under the bed when dad came home drunk trying to cope with his stressed life. How Nana's little business did take off and help us at least be stable.
I want to tell her about the ups and the downs. About my trust and love for Nana and my father, too. How I can tell them anything I want to without judgement. I want to tell her what I've told them ….
I want things to be like they used to be. When I was very young, I could remember the happiness we had as a family. Before everything went downhill. I want to tell her about me; about myself.
"So," she cut off my thinking. "how have these past few years been?" After the plethora of thoughts that went through my mind, I couldn't control my tongue.
"You're not entitled to that," I snapped. Her eyelids rose and met her lowered and creased brow.
"Excuse me …?" I took a deep breath and frowned, staring at her as if I saw a T-rex kill a man. I began to chew on my bottom lip, restraining my words. But, I can't contain them. They need to be released.
"You're excused mother. But, you are not by any means entitled to know what happened these past few years," I swallowed the lead lump in my throat. "not yet, I mean. After the abandonment- " Josephine stepped forward, hissing in a low voice,
"Abandonment?! Why you ungrateful little miscreant! I may not have been around but I am still your mother. You are to tell me what you have been through these past few years."
I grit my teeth and shook my head, looking down; refusing to say anything. My face flushed red with fury.
We stood tense for a few moments before she scoffed, giving up all efforts to make me speak. "Very well. I hope you enjoy your internship that I got you," she muttered and held out an envelope. The whole reason I had to meet her.
My entire countenance drained of color like a broken damn. I was as pale as paper. "Wha …?" I murmured.
"That's right," she laughed. "I am the whole reason you're here."
She pulled strings for me? I didn't get in?
I never want any kind of inside help, in anything I do. Surely my own mother, who was completely apathetic to the tears suddenly streaming down my face, would know.
But … she's no longer my mother! No! Not in any way, shape, or form! She once was, but never again will she be my mother.
"Here. This is for you," she muttered with a newly annoyed and frustrated tone to her voice. I took the envelope and said a hasty goodbye before disappearing into the crowd. I couldn't stand to be around her for another second. All I needed from her was the envelope in the first place, but no, I'm stupid enough to want talk to her.
This can't be true! No, it can't … no!
I can't listen to her, she's wrong. She's trying to get under your skin.
That's why I'm here … so she can do that! I didn't win this by myself …
Where the sudden onslaught of rueful and militaristic voices waging battle over the concept came from, I don't know. It made me lower my head and press my arms to my torso, as if I was bracing for a punch. My mother needed only ten minutes to completely ruin my self-esteem. I put so much time, effort, and love for the science into my getting on this island. She ruined everything I worked for like it was just flicking a chess piece off of a board. The strong rook that I build ever since … coming out, was now in ruins.
I ran back to the hotel and onto the bed, burying my face in the pillow and staining the cloth with hot tears. I gripped the envelope in my hand, like a life line. It was the only thing keeping me here.
Though, even that was slim at this point.
A/N: Poor sweet, sweet little Trenton. He's officially my precious little cinnamon bun. :(((((((
AND Holy dino-sized crap THANK YOU for 3 followers and 2 favs from just one chapter! :D *tearing up*: I'd like to thank The Academy, my fans, the dinosaurs for existing.
nah but for real though, thank you! It means a lot to me that you enjoyed the story! And hey, why stop there? Leave a review and tell me whatcha think! THANKS! :D