Chapter Two
My first thought when I wake is how glad I am that I finally came to Peeta. I haven't slept this well in months. I haven't moved and inch all night. I can feel his heart beating under my cheek. It's a steady, reassuring beat.
He must know that I am awake because he starts slowly stroking my arm. I lay still, enjoying the feel of his touch. His arms wrapped around me, breathing him in. I look up at him, he smiles down at me.
"Good morning, Katniss."
"Good morning, Peeta."
I half expect him to kiss me, but he doesn't. I guess we need to do the talking thing first.
"Peeta…" I start. He sits up, his back to the head board. I sit up too, crossing my legs, and face him. I start again. "Petta, I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what, Katniss?"
"I'm sorry for blocking you out. For not being here for you like you have been for me. I am sorry I was selfish and only thinking of my pain. You lost people too, and you've been grieving alone. I haven't given you my shoulder to lean on." I sigh heavily and say, "I'm sorry I didn't come to you sooner."
All while I'm talking he just sits there listening to me. Not moving. Not interrupting. Not touching me. I want him to touch me. I want to touch him. I don't. I'll wait till he's ready.
He thinks for a moment before he speaks, starring into my eyes. I start to panic. What if I'm too late? What if I lost my chance? Too much time has passed and I never once thought of his needs, his pains. I'm too selfish.
Then he looks down and says, "I was prepared to wait a lot longer for you to come to me. Forever really." He looks up at me, straight into my eyes. I can see the fire slowly starting to burn behind his blue eyes. "Don't you get it, Katniss? I have no life without you in it. Nothing else to live for. My days start and end with you. Your happiness is my happiness. It's all you, Katniss. It's always been you. It will always be you. Just you. Always."
With his last word I see the pain behind the fire. I've hurt him. I've hurt him by not being there for him, yes. But mostly I've hurt him for underestimating his patience with me. His love for me. His understanding that I needed time to heal myself before I could let anyone else in.
I grab his hand, searching his eyes desperately. "My whole life I've had to take care of someone other than myself. Prim. My mom. They needed me. You don't. You can survive without me, whereas they couldn't."
Oh, now he's really mad.
"Katniss, I can't! I do need you! Just like Prim. More than Prim. From the moment I first saw you when we were kids I lived each day knowing I'd see you. In the Games everything I did was to keep you alive. I wouldn't want to live in a world without you in it. I couldn't"
I can't take the distance anymore. I climb into his lap. There I kiss him. I grab his face, holding him steady and unleash all my pent up anger and pain and love and passion into this kiss. As I straddle him he moves his hands up my thighs to my hips and holds me to him. My arms wrap around his neck, my fingers reaching into his hair, pulling. I pull him to me, deepening our desperate kiss.