Because I'll Always Be Here
When it stops feeling right and you stop feeling anything at all you know its time to say goodbye.
The playground was dark and empty. Why wouldn't it be, school had let out precisely eight hours ago and with one more to go till midnight the streets of Boston were quiet. The cold wind blew and sound of a car horn honking a few blocks away was enough to remind anyone of the reality of life beyond the stillness.
They sat on the swings next to each other; this place had been a favourite make out spot for them when they had first started dating three years ago. Now its normality seemed sad. An awkward silence had swept over the two people sitting there and neither looked as if they were comfortable with it.
He swung himself gently back and forth, his hands placed in his lap and his heart beating so fast he could have swore she could have heard it.
"This isn't working is it?" he asked finally breaking the silence that swept over them.
She looked up at him from where she sat; her hands wrapped tightly round the chains on the swing. She had that look; he had seen that look before. Every time they had spoken those past few months every time they had been alone she had looked at him like that. She shook her head and looked at the floor.
"No Jack… it's not. Hasn't been for a while though right? Not since…"
"…Since I said no, since the night I…"
"…You turned me down. I thought, never mind. I guess we both want different things" she said stepping off the swings and walking forward a few steps, she stood there, her arms wrapped around her slender frame. Her head tilted to one side, like a child trying to get their own way.
"So…" he said rubbing the back of his head with his hand, not standing up for fear of his legs caving in beneath him. This had been his life for the past 3 years; he didn't know it any other way. "…Still friends?" he asked unaware of whether she was still there, he hadn't heard her make a noise in a while.
"We better had be Jack Shephard, after all we've been through I should hope so" she smiled at him and held out her hand. He stood up off the swing and took her hand in his own.
"Look it's late, I'd better go…"she started looking into the eyes of the boy she had loved once. It had all changed, it had taken a while for them to address this fact but now they had they both felt a lot better.
She pulled her hand out of his grasp and turned to walk away from him. He watched her go, feeling a mixture of relief and guilt he knew it wasn't right. They had only stayed together for so long because neither wanted to feel the emptiness they had felt before they had each other. Just before she got out of earshot she stopped in her track and turned to face him. He was still standing, just watching her leave.
"Jack…" she said watching as he looked into her eyes one last time "… I hope you find her…"
He looked at her, confusion spread over his face for a moment and then realisation. He understood perfectly he began to smile.
"…That soul mate you're holding out for… I hope you find her" she said as she turned her back on him one more time and left his life.
He sat himself back down on then swing and he let himself rock back and forth never taking his eyes off the stars in the sky. Many a night he had wished upon these stars and he never got what he wished for, but his Grandma had told him once that he should never give up, he didn't intend to. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath and on that cold December night he made the same wish he made every night only this time he did something different. He expected nothing.