Thanks to mihel asyki akatsuki schizo, Vicki-Emmett-Cullen-, and kelleygirl for reviewing.

Disclaimer: Still don't own Twilight. Nor am I a doctor; I used WebMD along with a bit of personal experience to describe some of the symptoms of dysthymia (chronic depression).

Obscurity

Chapter 2

The alarm clark blared annoyingly, and Bella slapped it a couple of times before it turned off. Blinking sleepily at the bright Arizona sun, she covered her eyes with one arm and rolled out of bed. Today was the day she moved to Forks, Washington.

She reflected dully on the circumstances that had led to her decision to move there. She had what doctors told her was dysthymia. She'd looked it up for herself and had found that most of the symptoms for dysthymia (a.k.a. chronic depression; she was depressed, joy of joys) described were ones that she had been experiencing.

Bella supposed that she had good reason for some of them. Persistent sad or empty feeling? That would probably be because of the fact that she was constantly all alone, since her poor mother was so busy working four jobs to get them a nice place to live that she didn't really notice that Bella had made no friends and simply couldn't fit in, since she was so different.

Feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and worthlessness? Well, she felt helpless to change anything, hopeless that anything would ever change anyway, and worthless because for some reason, she wasn't strong enough to make changes for herself. Feelings of guilt? She felt a lot of guilt over the fact that she was so needy and dependent, and that's why her mother nearly killed herself working.

Loss of interest or the ability to enjoy herself? What reason would she possibly have for enjoying herself? Loss of energy or fatigue…She definitely liked to sleep more often than not. Changes in appetite were also a definite thing; food just didn't seem as interesting, as necessary, as important. Observable mental and physical sluggishness were apparent in her slipping grades and poor coordination.

Thoughts of death or suicide. This last one was the reason she was moving to Forks, after her mother had come home exhausted to find her daughter on the verge of death, an empty bottle of prescription medication lying discarded on the floor. Painkillers. Bella had tried to kill herself by overdosing on painkillers.

She just wanted to stop living, stop being such a waste of space. She didn't work, she didn't drive, she didn't cook, she didn't clean. All she did while her mother ran herself ragged was lie in bed, lost in a fog. She wanted to get up and do something, anything. But she just didn't have the energy. And she constantly forgot to take her medicine, since she frequently lost interest in curing herself. What was the point?

"Bella? Bella, baby, are you up?" Renée's voice came floating through Bella's door. "It's almost time to leave for the airport. I've already gotten your stuff packed and everything. I thought we could do something together before you go." Bella bit her lip; her mother had spent the early morning hours of her only day off during the week packing Bella's things and getting ready for her to leave. Bella wondered if her mother had even slept since she'd gotten home at 3:30 this morning.

And with that thought came the crushing guilt. Why am I such a burden on someone who doesn't deserve it? Bella decided that she would try and get better. She wanted to show her mom that she was capable of acting like a human being.

"Bella?" Bella opened the door and attempted a smile. She actually halfway succeeded, and her mother gave a tentative smile in return. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, Mom, I just have to grab a few small things," Bella replied, grabbing her iPod and the book she'd currently been reading. "What do you want to do?"

"I figured maybe we could go for some breakfast or something," Renée suggested. "What do you think?"

Bella's first instinct was to say that that was alright, that she wasn't really hungry. But she hadn't eaten for three days, and she figured that sleep wouldn't be enough to keep her alive all the time. "That sounds great, Mom. Where did you want to go?"

"I hadn't had any particular idea in mind." They walked out of the house Bella had lived in since she was four and got in the car. "Why don't you pick a place, hun?"

Bella thought about it. What was she in the mood for? Hahaha, mood. I don't think they have a Chez la Depression anywhere in the country, she thought wryly. "Uh, we can just go to a diner in the airport if you want." Her mom's eyes closed, and Bella immediately berated herself. Stupid, stupid, stupid. "Or we can go to, uh…That one place we got takeout from a couple of days ago."

"You mean the Chinese restaurant." Her mother sounded amused. Bella nodded, embarrassed. "I dunno if they're open this early, but we can check. And if not, then…we'll eat in the airport." The break in her voice was barely there, but Bella heard it.

"Mom, I…"

"Bella." Her mom's voice was quiet, but firm. And horribly sad.

"I'm sorry," Bella said, putting in her earphones and searching for something, anything to drown out the pain she felt. Music always helped.

"Welcome home, Bella," Charlie said, giving his daughter a tight hug. He cursed internally in shock at how thin she was. She'd been healthy the last time he saw her, when she was a preteen. What had happened to her?

"Thanks, Charlie," Bella replied, and Charlie gave her a tiny smile. For some reason, she'd always been more comfortable calling him Charlie rather than calling him Dad. After the falling out he and Renée had had, Charlie was glad Bella called him anything other than "him."

"Well, let's get your stuff, then," he said, and they walked to the baggage claim, Charlie holding onto Bella's hand like he was afraid she'd vanish if he let go.

"Your room is the same as it always was; I didn't want to change anything until you'd had a chance to have some input," Charlie said as he pulled into the driveway. Bella nodded and got out of the police cruiser, moving to grab some of her bags.

"You just grab your bookbag and your purse, I can get the suitcases," Charlie said quickly, and Bella looked at him for a second. She tried to remember her promise to herself to become strong, but Charlie had already taken the heaviest suitcases and was gruntingly heaving them into the house. She bit her lip, slung her bookbag over her shoulder, grabbed her purse, and followed him inside.

"You came just in time for the new school year," Charlie said after they'd finished unpacking her things and gotten her settled in. "I'll take you around tomorrow so you can get some school supplies and things."

"That sounds great, Charlie," Bella said, and they shared a small half-smile. Suddenly, she felt dizzy and lightheaded.

"Bella? Bella, what's wrong?" Charlie's voice was worried. Bella tried to respond, but she fell into darkness before she could say anything.

A/N: Reviews make me feel like someone's paying attention. :D

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