AN: Thank you for your reviews.

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. Catherine Jareau is mine along with anyone else you do not recognize.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

– Lao Tzu

5:00 pm

I open the door and keep my eyes averted from Spencer and Kate's faces. I don't want to see the pity in their eyes. I pull on my mittens, "I'm hungry and Jen is going to have a fit if we're late for dinner."

"You're right, but they're already here so we shouldn't be late." Kate says and walks up to a dusty blue SUV.

Spencer takes my hand, "Do you want the carrot sticks I have in my bag?"

I shake my head, "Not just now, thanks though."

He studies my face; "Kate and her family are going to give us a ride to our home."

I smile slightly at Spencer calling it our home. Spencer making the decision for both of us does not bother me; I wouldn't have left if I had wanted to be the one to decide.

Spencer squeezes my hand, "Unless you want to just get the car ride over with and go directly to Dave's house so that you can see Jennifer, Henry, and Jack sooner."

I sigh and consider my options, "One car ride as opposed to two."

He leans down and kisses my lips gently.

Kate walks around the car with a tall, dark haired, broad shouldered man.

My breathing speeds up.

With a smile Kate introduces us, "Spencer, Catherine this is my husband Chris. Chris this is Dr. Spencer Reid and his fiancée Catherine Jareau."

Mr. Callahan holds out his hand, "It's nice to meet you both."

Spencer waves slightly, "Hello."

I take a step backwards, away from Mr. Callahan.

He drops his hand, a puzzled frown on his face.

I can hear Kate telling him something about Spencer not shaking hands but the whooshing sound in my ears is getting louder and it drowns out everything else. Wrenching my hand away from Spencer's grasp I cover my ears and take one step and then another backwards. "No, no, no, no, no!"

Spencer sighs, "Please give us a minute." He stands in front of me and speaks softly. "Talk to me, what's going on in your head?"

I know what he is saying even though I can't hear him.

Spencer wraps me in a hug and doesn't let go even when I struggle.

I'm slightly embarrassed when I finally stop struggling and relax into his arms.

Spencer pries my hands away from my ears and repeats himself; "What's going on in that ingenious mind of yours?"

I shiver, "I am not getting in that car. Spence I can't!"

He sighs, "Yes you are." He kisses my temple softly, "You can do this."

I wipe away my tears, "I wanted to show you how much I'd grown up and that I can do stuff on my own without panicking but I can't. Spence I can't get into the car with him! He looks like-" I cut myself off. I shiver and try again, "He looks exactly like Rafe would if he hadn't died!" I cover my mouth when I gag.

Spencer tightens his hold on me, "Shh it's okay. Mr. Callahan isn't Rafe. You'll be okay. He won't hurt you. I'll protect you."

I rest my head against Spencer's chest and try to regulate my breathing. "Rafe would never have hurt me, he saved me." I shiver, "Mr. Callahan's appearance is going to frighten Jenny though."

Spencer takes off my hat and runs his fingers through my hair, "How have you managed for six months?"

I shudder, "I was okay most of the time but I didn't have a choice when out in public."

"And now?" He asks mildly.

I scowl, then sigh, and shrug.

Spencer sighs, "What would be worse, taking the metro or a taxi home and then driving for 40 minutes or getting in the car now and only having to sit inside it for 30 minutes?"

I cross my arms, which is difficult because Spencer won't release me.

He continues speaking, "You're brave and strong and I know that you do things that terrify you all the time. Why is this different?"

I shiver.

Spencer tightens his arms, "We are going to be getting in that car and you know it. Would it help if I recite something while we're driving?"

I nod, "Anything but The Stolen Child Spence."

He nods.
I put my hat back on my head.

We return to Kate and her husband and a girl whom I can only assume to be their niece. "My apologies Mr. Callahan," I say formally while looking over his shoulder so as not to see his face clearly, "You resemble a dear friend my sister and I lost unexpectedly several years ago."

He looks shaken, "That's alright. I'm sorry for upsetting you."

Kate places her hand on the girl's shoulder, "Catherine and Spencer, this is my niece Meg."

I give Meg the once over and smile slightly, "Hello."

Spencer waves and drapes his arm around my shoulders.

"Hi," Meg says awkwardly.

I can tell she'd been studying me while I was freaking out and I flush again in embarrassment.

Meg and Mr. Callahan get back into the car.

Spencer stops Kate with a whisper.

She turns back to him.

"We'll go straight to Dave's house instead of the detour to our condo if you don't mind Kate," Spencer says quietly.

"No problem," She responds then looks worriedly over at me, "Is she…" she trails off.

Spencer shrugs, "I'm going to have to do most of the talking. Though you're welcome to try and include her in conversation, she may or may not respond."

Kate nods.

I wrap my arms around myself and wait for Spencer to climb into the middle seat.

5:45 pm

Spencer is surreptitiously watching Meg from the corner of his eye. She's got one of those little reading lamps attached to her book.

I rest my head against Spencer's shoulder and try not to laugh because he looks ready to snatch the light away and thoroughly inspect it. I wonder if I can find one for him before Christmas.

A few minutes later Mr. Callahan calls out to me from the driver's seat, "Catherine, what is it you do for a living?"

I wrench my eyes away from the window; "I'm doing an internship at Interpol right now."

He smiles, "That sounds interesting, are you stationed here or abroad?"

I run my fingers over the smooth leather of Spencer's bag, "I'm working out of the office in Lyon, France. So I'm just home for a few days for Christmas."

He nods, "It's nice that you came all this way to see your family. Do you have any plans for after your internship? Are you going to join Interpol or the FBI?"

I flinch.

Spencer takes my hand.

I shake my head, "No. I'm thinking about doing a postdoctoral fellowship. My mentor for my PhD recently started working at Harvard and she's offered me a place in her lab."

He frowns, "You already have a PhD? How old are you?"

I blush, "Yes, I have a PhD. I'm 24."

"Congratulations!" He says with a genuine grin.

I smile slightly, "Thank you."

"Catherine also has two master's degrees and two bachelor's," Spencer adds with a grin.

I frown at him, "Spencer has three PhD's and he's working on a fourth."

He looks at me with a raised eyebrow, "You're going to be my wife. Derek said I'm allowed to boast about you."

I can feel my cheeks heating up.

Kate laughs and looks at her niece in the rearview mirror, "Meg, Catherine likes to read."

"Oh," Meg looks over at me, "Have you read John Green's, The Fault In Our Stars?"

I shake my head, "No, I haven't. Is it any good?"

She grins, "It's awesome!"

I smile, "I just finished reading Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina and now I'm working on rereading Victor Hugo's Les Miserables."

Meg frowns, "I don't think I've heard of either."

I shift uncomfortably.

Spencer coughs.

We both look at him.

"Yes?" I ask.

Spencer smirks, "What languages are you reading the books in Catherine?"

I cross my arms.

Meg frowns, "Aren't you reading them in English?"

I blush harder and am thankful it's dark outside. "No. I read Anna Karenina in Russian and I'm reading Les Miserables in French."

"Oh," Meg mumbles. "Do you speak a lot of languages?"

"A few," I reply hesitantly.

"How many is a few?" She asks curiously.

I cringe before answering, "In this particular context a few would be five."

Her eyes are wide, "Wow! What are they?"

I exhale, "I am fluent in English, French, German, Russian and Italian."

Spencer coughs again.

I glare at him and in French add, "Please stop helping, you're making this more awkward than it already is."

He smiles back unfazed and answers in English, "You're a polyglot that is something to be proud of."

Meg frowns at us, "Was there something else?"

I answer Meg with a sigh, "I'm learning Spanish. I took an introductory class a year and a half ago but it didn't really stick in my brain because I was extraordinarily busy finishing my PhD research."

Spencer gestures for me to continue.

I glare at him, "I told Jack and Maura that I would learn a language with them if they picked one I didn't already know when they needed to choose second and third language classes respectively. When they chose Spanish I decided to take another class to improve my proficiency."

She frowns, "I'm taking Spanish in school. Are you any good yet?"

I shrug, "I'm passable. I'm going to take another class before I visit Spain in May with Maura and Emily."

Her brow wrinkles, "Who are Jack, and Maura, and Emily?"

I poke Spencer in the ribs.

He answers for me, "Jack is Aaron Hotchner's son, he's 9, and Maura is Emily Prentiss' daughter, she's 10. You'll meet Jack tonight at dinner."

Meg cocks her head, "And I won't meet Maura or Emily?"

Spencer looks at me.

I shake my head.

Spencer sighs, "Maura and Emily lives in England. Emily, Maura's mother used to be part of the BAU, now she works at Interpol."

"Oh," murmurs Meg, "Is that who Kate replaced on your team?"

Spencer shakes his head, "No. Emily left two and a half years ago. Your aunt is replacing Alex Blake, she was Catherine's-"

I cut him off, "Spencer!"

Chris laughs loudly, "I recognize that tone of voice. It means shut up or you won't be getting any- um any kisses tonight."

Meg covers her face with her hands and groans.

Spencer pouts, "I wasn't going to be getting any kisses tonight anyway. We're sleeping at Dave's house."

Chris laughs, "She might make you sleep on the floor then."

Kate frowns, "Was Rossi, I mean Dave, really serious about having everyone sleep over? I mean we packed bags just in case but does he actually have enough space for everyone?"

"Well," Spencer says, "Derek won't stay over because Savannah is starting work at 11:00 pm, though I believe everyone else is planning to stay. As for space, there is the office though no one's allowed in there unless specifically invited. And then there is Dave's bedroom, Catherine's bedroom and the-"

"Hold on! Catherine you have a bedroom there?" Kate asks in surprise.

I fidget uncomfortably, "Yes. Every effort was made to include me after Jen won custody."

I can see Chris mouthing 'won custody' at Kate in the mirror and I flinch.

Spencer continues talking, "Catherine has a bedroom in JJ's house, and special sheets at Penelope's, and different but equally special sheets were purchased by Derek in case Catherine ever decides to sleep there and Aaron bought a pullout couch for her to sleep on when she babysits Jack and she used to have a room in Emily's-" Spencer stops talking. "Sorry," He whispers to me.

"That's lovely Catherine," Kate says, "You must have felt very loved."

"Yes," I whisper.

"Dave has several spare rooms for people to sleep in and he recently moved the bunk beds to the spare room downstairs, that's where Henry and Jack sleep now. It's next to the games room." He looks at Meg, "You could probably sleep down there too if you want."

"So, what book are you planning to read next?" Kate asks in a bid to salvage the previous conversation.

I grin, "The Harry Potter series. They're my go to books when I'm trying to decide what to read next."

Meg's face lights up, "They're my favourite!"

I sigh in relief.

Spencer looks at me questioningly.

I swallow a giggle and nod.

Spencer clears his throat, "Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of number four privet drive were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense."

I close my eyes and listen to Spencer recite the first four and a half chapters of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.

Spencer stops talking and takes a sip from my water bottle when we arrive at Dave's house.

Kate laughs, "Okay Reid, I am seriously impressed, much more so than you knowing the exact number of boats on that lake."

"That was amazing!" Meg exclaims.

I peer around Spencer; Meg's her face is filled with awe.

I grin at Spencer and he smiles back.

We all exit the car and Mr. Callahan walks around to the trunk.

Spencer touches Kate's arm and says quietly, "Would you mind not telling anyone Catherine is here when you go inside?"

She nods, "Okay."

"Why?" Meg asks curiously.

"Catherine coming home for Christmas is a surprise," Kate tells her niece.

"That's a pretty big surprise," Meg replies and rings the doorbell.

Spencer walks over to Penelope's car and unlocks the car.

I follow him and ask suspiciously, "Why do you have the spare key for Penelope's car?"

Spencer pops the trunk before replying, "Penelope and I promised Henry and Jack they could have their Christmas presents early."

I frown, "Jen is going to kill you and Penny if you two bought Henry a puppy and Aaron will happily let her if you got something similar for Jack."

Spencer laughs, "No, no puppies. I wanted to buy them Flying Turtles but Penelope said that Jack wouldn't use it after this year."

I blink, "What is a Flying Turtle?"

He turns back to look at me with a frown, "You never had a Flying Turtle as a kid? It's a scooter that you sit on. I had one, so did Penelope."

I nod, "Sounds like fun." I raise an eyebrow, "So are you going to tell me what you bought them or am I going to have to wait and see."

Spencer hands me a rectangular and moderately heavy box wrapped in red wrapping paper, "You hate waiting."

I smile, "Yes I do."

He grins at me and pulls out a second identically shaped box wrapped in blue, "We bought them normal scooters, oh and Lego because you can never have enough Lego."

AN2: Thank you for reading, please review if you have something to say.