•Chapter 2-Walking•
Alright! Chapter 2! I'm on a roll tonight! Maybe I'll even get to do Chapters 3 + 4! Anyways, it would be great to see some reviews coming in, constructive criticism accepted. I want to make this as good as I can! Enjoy!
Astral walked to school, behind his twin, Daraku (13), and elder sister, Keiko (17), and in front of his brother, Shinichi (15). His baby sister, Yasashi (2), was at home. He rubbed his eyes, knowing he shouldn't've stayed up so late. But, what do you get when all your next-door-neighbour would do is yell "kattobingu da, ore!" every 5 seconds?
"Hey, Kotori! Tetsuo! Wait up!" A boy with big red eyes, black hair with two spikes either side and two red antenna like ones at the front rushed past, calling out to a large boy and a girl with green hair in front of the group. Astral recognised the voice. Was this his neighbour?
"What-ugh, what a rude kid!" Cried Daruku as the boy pushed past her. She mustn't've seen him spin around and make a quick apology, but Astral did. He also saw her run up to him and give him a hard shove in the back before running back to Keiko. The latter giggled, just as mean as Daruku. The red-eyed boy fell over and shouted out in pain as the concrete tore at his palm, elbows and knees, also tearing his pants. What a waste of a perfectly good pair of pants.
"Yuma! Are you ok?" The girl bent down to help him, brushing him off and pressing tissues to his wounds, while the boy threw a dirty look at the family. Astral hid his face, ashamed of his horrible twin sister, who just stuck her tongue out.
Daruku lead the way around the three, head held high. Astral hesitated, wanting to help, but Daruku grabbed his arm, pulling him along.
"Astral, you can't help rude people. They have to learn their lessons!" She hissed at him, and Astral nodded, crestfallen. He took one last look at the trio, and his eyes met the red eyes of the injured boy.
I'm sorry.
So, how was that? I really don't want to sound needy, but I need those helpful reviews! Any tips on how to make my writing better?
Review, please! Sayonara!