The princess couldn't have possibly asked for a better morning after such a terrible night.
She was still rubbing her eyes as she walked out into the crisp morning air, yawning and stretching. A warm breeze blew through her nightgown, which she reasoned safe to wear considering the early hour's lack of eyes. Besides- no one would see her up here. The balcony caught every ray of the warm sunlight, letting it fall over her fair skin and chestnut hair, far too high for the average eye to witness.
"Yes... ruling the kingdom can wait a few more minutes," she decided, lashes closing over her eyes. Standing at the ledge, she stilled the thoughts already rushing through her mind. Keeping herself from brooding on the demands of the upcoming day was the only way she could enjoy peace in the morning.
A bird swooped for her shoulder. She could hear its wings hum as it serenaded her with its simple melody. She ran her fingers through her hair, fully relaxed. An unstoppable smile claimed her lips.
Despite her relaxing moment, images of her dream came creeping back the more alert she became.
Link... Hmm...
She hadn't seen him since Ganon had been sealed away months ago. As much as the nature of her dream was strange, she couldn't help but wonder how their hero was doing now. Was he home? Was he happy? Was he-
TWweeeehHEET WOOO!
... peering out of a window in the empty tower across from her? Was that was he was doing these da-
Her eyes flew open, wide and horrified. How-
"Lookin' gooooood, princess! Especially from this angle!"
Dumbfounded, she simply gawked at the boy hanging from the window, grinning at her as though he owned the place. His voice was incredibly cocky and- wait, his voice? Since when did Link talk, let alone whistle at girls? Vague parts of dreams burst back through the doors of her memory and her eye twitched.
"No," she mouthed. Nononononono-
How? It couldn't be... but...
She swallowed hard. Suddenly, everything wasn't so nicely surreal in her mind. Why else would Link be at the castle, poking out the window if that dream hadn't been real? Her eyes narrowed as she observed him closer. Were those... his pajamas?
Why was he in his pajamas?
Small giggles sounded from over her head. She looked up, almost expecting that singing bird to have magically developed a voice with the rest of the bizarre events going on. However, she met something worse- a pink, squealy fairy.
"You really should have worn your housecoat, you know," she continued giggling. Her voice was that of a hamster being stepped on.
Zelda's mouth opened, full of question as to who she was and how she had the nerve to 'I told you so,' a royal, but it quickly closed when the princess realized Link was still unceremoniously whooping at her. Turning on her heels, cheeks flushed red, she ran back to her room to get away from the annoying laughter and hungry eyes.
/\/\/\
Although she had to force herself to do it, she was walking towards the room. Link's room. She shuddered. No doubt this had something to do with what her drea- er, what had happened last night, that is. But that didn't help explain much. What was he doing here? Was this really the Link she knew, the Link who had saved her kingdom from the clutches of perpetual twilight?
Stopping at the door, she hesitantly lifted a hand to knock. Really, she was scared to know what was on the other side. She didn't want to knock.
But she did anyway.
"Huh?" The sound of a sword sheath rang through the wooden door.
"Uhhh... Link?" Lack of speech skillfully dried her tongue.
"Oh, heh heh, sorry!" The door swung open, revealing more of Link's thighs than even his usual tunic was guilty for. Only now, they were fully bare and she felt almost violated simply looking his direction.
What're we rated again? PG?
"I thought you might be a monster after the Triforce!" Link was either oblivious to his lack of proper attire, or completely shameless. She leaned more to the latter.
Distracted from her first intention of coming to him, she shielded her eyes, opting to look down the hallway instead. "Link, WE are the Triforce. I thought you knew this? Both you and I have-"
"BOY, it's a good thing I'm here to look out for this kind of stuff 'cause you have nooooo idea what's going on."
She chose to ignore that. There was obviously more wrong with him than she thought. "Yes, what exactly are you doing here? Of course you're always welcomed, but... randomly showing up is very unlike you. Even stopping in is rather uncharacteristic to your terms."
He tsked. "And now your memory is failing. Really princess, are you sure you're feeling well today?"
Behind fanned fingers, she gave him a look of disgust. It took everything within not to smack her head into the wall.
His smug, toothy grin pointed directly to her. "YOU told me to guard the Triforce of wisdom! Remember?" She looked blankly at the floor. No; she definitely didn't remember that one. "But you are right about one thing- I wouldn't be here without a good reason. I mean, I could be roaming the world, fighting monsters, sleeping in mud; living a hero's life! Though, I couldn't leave you all alone here now, could I?"
... Sleeping in the mud?
Her eyebrows perked as she looked into his self-claimed room. It seemed he had taken it upon himself to destroy it, for half of the furniture was smashed across the room and the curtains had been torn down. Reasoning it better not to ask, she stepped around him into the mess. Above the wreck, a wooden pedestal sat holding a triangular glass vase, sparking in the sunlight of the open window.
"What's this here for?" She motioned to the centerpiece with a quizzical brow.
"...You know... if you're forgetting why the Triforce of wisdom is in my room, maybe you should go back to bed." He walked over to it and repositioned it so that it was perfectly centered, sighing proudly. "I could walk you back there. Or..." he shot her a sly look, "maybe a kiss would help you wake up?"
"I-I...-" Zelda stammered.
His lips puckered towards her eagerly. "Kiss me, princess!"
"Er, I have a better idea," she pressed a finger over his pout. "How about you stay here and guard the..." the flower vase? Really? "...the Triforce... Yes. There's a magician's conference I'm to attend in town today, and I'd hate to leave the castle unprotected."
He groaned. "Awe c'mon! Why do you get to do all the fun stuff?"
"Well- I'm the princess." Her quick reasoning held no real logic, but she was already more than uncomfortable with the turn of their conversation and rather keen on getting out before he tried something. She was back through the door before he had a moment more to process. "I trust I can count on you, Link."
"Yeah... yeah fine." She gave a relieved smile, turning to leave. "Hey, by the way- do you know what's wrong with the Triforce? It's not floating and shimmering like usual."
"Could have something to do with it being an inanimate object..." Outwardly, she simply shook her head. "Maybe it's sleeping? Nothing to worry about, I'm sure. I'll be back later; you just stay here."
Watching her leave, he smirked to himself. "I knew there was a better reason I stuck around this boring castle."
/\/\/\/\
Wasn't there a better reason this gathering had been called? The princess sighed at the sight before her; the conference had been nothing but an eccentric spectacle of rabbits out of hats here, fiery fingers there, floating goats over the fountain- Zelda was tiring of it. The only even slightly useful presentation had been the shoe stink removing charm. But she had had to smell that...
This was not what she had been hoping for.
"Sirs," her pale hands rose, catching the attention of the many magicians before her and setting Castletown square very quiet, very quickly. A few goats dropped into the water behind her as their owner's concentration faltered. "While I must say this is all very impressive in its own terms, none of this is a help to our country. I've gathered you all together to find ways to benefit Hyrule, not turn it into a circus. Please- doesn't someone have something useful?"
The crowd looked over itself thoughtfully and a low mumble rolled about them. Useful... hadn't they heard that word somewhere before?
Zelda was ready to turn back to the castle and pull her hair out when a young boy stepped forward, bowing lightly to her. "You're majesty." He looked up and the princess held in a gasp- he looked like a blade of grass with bulging tuna eyes, thin and terribly clammy.
He didn't seem to notice her reaction, for he carried on. "I believe I have something useful. May I?"
Although caught off guard, she eagerly answered. "Yes; of course."
He lifted a thin wand, waving it about as though he were orchestrating a symphony, and she even wondered if she heard faint music from somewhere in the distance. Expecting something wonderful to happen, the princess leaned forward.
Suddenly, he broke out in spontaneous, obviously over-choreographed dance, dropping to the floor, flopping like a fish and commencing a poor imitation of the worm at one point.
The princess sighed. "4.5, tops. Anyone else care to,"
"No, no!" the boy continued his dance. "Trust me! I'm just catching their attention!"
Her eyes narrowed. "Who's attention?"
True to its cue, the ground began rumbling. Behind her, the fountain shook furiously. The goats bleated.
His dancing stopped.
/\/\/\/\
"What a way to spend the morning," Link groaned. He had been sword practicing for the last hour and was already beyond bored of it. He could only get so good, after all. But when would it pay off? When would Zelda notice?
Sprite, his faithful fairy friend, sat watching from the window, the ever-present longing look on her face as she watched him jump to and fro. "You're getting so good Link!"
"Yeah, not enough for her royal prissiness though." His arms fell to his hips, and his frown almost to the floor. "Sprite, you're a girl- how do I get Zelda to pay more attention to me?"
"Who cares! She's a snot!" Her tiny cheek rubbed happily against his grimace. "You should stick with me!"
"Sprite, you're only three inches tall..."
"What?" she huffed, hands on her hips. "You don't like short girls?"
He groaned. "Sprite-"
A spontaneous and loud crash from outside shook the room and sent the young man tumbling to the floor. "What the-!" Jumping to the window, he gasped at the sight below. A giant octorock was emerging from the town's fountain, sending its giant tentacles crashing through buildings and crushing anything in sight. People were running everywhere screaming.
"Zelda!" He could vaguely see her dodging between the tentacles of the overbearing monster, ready to be smashed at any moment. Without a second thought he had jumped from the window, bounced off one of the tents below and right in front of the giant beast.
"Hey ugly!" he yelled, grabbing the hilt of his sword.
Said ugly turned, wrenching its face in an angered scream when it saw him.
Link wasted no time in pointing his sword the right direction. "I hope you're hungry, 'cause I've got a nice set of pink laser beams for ya!" He jostled his sword towards the octo, expecting a bolt to shoot from it. Nothing happened. "What?"
"NaAWMmmwa!" the beast nearly slammed a tentacle over his head, but he moved fast enough to save himself.
"My sword... what's wrong with my sword?" Not bothering to waste anymore time, he sheathed it and pulled his gale boomerang from his pocket. "Weird, I don't remember upgrading my stuff... oh well." A flick of the wrist, and the weapon was lurched at the beast's belly. Link anxiously waited for it to scream and disappear in a puff of smoke, but the boomerang simply bounced off its stomach.
"EH? Hey! I was trusting you! Stupid little piece of... something... what is this thing made of, anyway?"
"Hee hee..." The beast giggled a little.
Link face palmed himself. "OKAY! That's it! YOU are not supposed to be laughing!"
"Hee he-" he Octo stopped mid laugh, realizing he was right. But then it hit him that Link wasn't supposed to be talking, either. Sure- some yells and the necessary words here and there... but this was way beyond that point. In fact, listening to him babble on, it concluded the Zelda franchise definitely made better waves with a silent hero. Link kept going on and on and on and on, and the Octo cringed.
"...but noOoOoOOOoOoo, do you think Ganon would seriously cut the stink? And so I said excuuuuu-"
"Gahhh!" the Octorock screamed, rearing its weapons again. YES; he needed to stay silent.
But as it sent another tentacle hurtling down at him, hoping to obliterate his annoying whining, an interrupting arrow struck square in its large eyeball. It wreathed its destructive tentacle away from the color clashing hero and looked to the source of the arrow; The princess- standing on a rooftop and reloading her bow. Before it could scream, slash, move, or anything else, the other eye had been shot out and it slithered back in pain, back down into the fountain.
The town breathed a communal sigh of relief as silence fell.
Link breathed a sigh of complaint. "Haayyy, why'd you get to have all the fun?"
She jumped to the streets. "Ohhh I thought you were having tons of fun there, using your sword as a laser gun and missing the incredibly obvious eye targets- Its allllllways the eyes, Link- while you rambled on. At least you came close to boring it to death."
Link was indignant. "Well excuuuuuuuuuse me, princess, but if you would have given me another minute I could have had you an authentic octorock bowtie!"
Catching sight of a small figure sneaking off into the alleys, the princess jumped. "Hey, you! Stop!"
Guilty as a mouse caught in a mouse trap, the small boy stopped, frozen in the spot. "Uhh- Uhhhmm," he laughed nervously as she stormed over to him.
"What in the world did you do that for? The list of helpful didn't include having the town nearly destroyed by an octorock, young man."
His fingers tapped together nervously as Link stepped alongside the princess, both towering over him. "Who put you up to this?" The hero's voice was almost as intimidating- but not quite so much when you looked at his outfit. "Ganon? Was it Ganon? Are you working for him?"
Zelda's angry look faltered. The boy looked confused. "Ganon? Who's that?"
"You know; pig-faced, squeaky voice, serious temper issues, tires to take over Hyrule at least once a day..." The boy looked at him blankly. "Rides a flying unicorn occasionally...? No? Not ringing a bell?"
"Actually," the boy chuckled nervously. "I just need to perfect my dance spell a little better... it was supposed to summon fish so that we wouldn't have to go all the way to Zora's river, but my worming wasn't convincing enough. I looked like dying human bait and got an Octorock instead."
Zelda sighed. Of all the random things...
Looking around her, she sized up the damage while Link gave the young boy one last attempt at an intimidating look.
"This is going to take a while to clean up..." she shook her head. "Mental note to self- never start up a Hyrulian Idol. Ever."
Link smiled deviously. "Oh, pshaw! WE," he more than lightly accented the plural, eager to spend time with her, "can get this done in no time at all."
Her lips pursed. It wasn't this clean up she worried so much about. No- it was Link's. Obviously something had happened to him, and she had to find a way to get him back to normal.
Whatever his normal was.
Framed off episode 1- The Ringer, which I do not own of course.
Whatever angle you're at, let me know what you think!