"Keith? What's wrong?"
Keith looked up and groaned.
"I… might have gotten into a bit of trouble recently."
Shiro sat down.
"What's going on?"
Keith fumbled a moment for his words. There was hopefully a way to talk about this without saying "I got plastered at the wedding."
"Do you know a kid named Lance McClain?" he said at last.
"Hmm. Rings a bell," Shiro said.
"Well I sort of got invited to his house for dinner."
"Oh, is it a date?" Shiro asked.
"No!" Keith reflexively snapped. "Well. Sort of."
Shiro got an amused look.
"Sort of?"
"I mean it's not REALLY a date but it has to look like one. We… somehow ended up becoming fake boyfriends."
"At the wedding? Well, I'm glad you still had a good time after I left."
"No! I DIDN'T!" Keith insisted. "I don't even KNOW this guy!"
"Well, you can just tell him to call it off," Shiro said.
"No, I can't. I kinda owe him one."
"Why, what did he do?"
"Ugh. Nothing."
"Keith. I know that's a lie."
"Yes it's a lie because I don't want you to be mad at me."
"Chances are I'll only be disappointed."
Which also sucked but hey.
"Fine. I got shitfaced."
Shiro sighed.
"I should have known Mrs. Fredrickson would offer you something."
"Well what was *I* supposed to do when you left? You know I hate parties."
"And I'm proud that you went out of your comfort zone to be there. Even if it didn't go so well."
Keith smiled a little. Making Shiro proud always did that to him.
"But now I'm stuck going to this guy's house on Thursday."
"Did you tell him you're busy on Thursdays?"
"No."
That was one conversation he didn't feel like having. As was bailing on the date altogether. Sometimes problems just went away if you let them take their course.
"What about AFTER Thursday?" Shiro asked. "What happens then?"
"I don't know! We fake break up or something!"
"Well maybe you should ask him about it."
"I did. He said, 'we'll see.'"
Shiro chuckled. Keith didn't like that.
"So. Is this formal? Informal?"
"I don't know," Keith put his hands up. "What do people USUALLY do when their date brings them home?"
"Well it depends on the people," Shiro said, heading for the closet. "Maybe semi-formal just to be safe?"
"God, I feel like an idiot either way."
"You'll get through this, it'll be okay."
"His whole fucking family is going to talk to me," Keith followed him.
"Well, not bad for a first date," Shiro thumped him on the shoulder.
"Oh my god, Shiro, it's not a date."
"Yeah, I know," Shiro said. He pulled a red tie out of the closet and held it up to Keith.
"Hmm. Not your color."
"This must be why I can't get a REAL date, because I need YOU to dress me."
Shiro smiled and held up another tie.
"Where would you be without me?"
"You know the answer to that," Keith scoffed.
Shiro pulled out a few more ties and laid them down.
"And if it wasn't for YOU, I'd have all these for nothing."
Keith snorted a bit. One of his jobs was designated tie-tier.
"You know I think it IS legal to be seen in the same tie more than once."
"Sure, but why risk it?" Shiro grinned. He pinned a deep purple tie up to Keith. "Oh, THAT'S the one! Doesn't wash you out like pure black does."
"Does it really?"
"A little bit."
"Well you could have told me that before the wedding, then."
Shiro shrugged.
"Who was I to stifle your choices?"
"But you're picking my tie NOW."
"Well isn't this a bit more important?"
"IS it?"
"You're the guest of honor, aren't you?"
Keith tensed. It sounded so much scarier when Shiro put it that way.
"I don't think I can do this," he said.
"Maybe it'll help if you have something ready to say."
"Like what?"
"Like 'you look nice tonight, where did you get that?'"
"Okay, so I'll ask them things I don't give a shit about, got it."
"Exactly. They might not ask YOU as many questions if they're always fielding YOURS."
God. Was this how Shiro always dealt with people? It sounded exhausting.
"So is he cute?" Shiro asked.
Keith nearly jumped.
"What?"
Shiro shrugged.
"Just wondering."
Keith felt his face getting hot.
"I mean… I guess. Oh, wait, he texted me a picture."
Keith pulled up the selfie.
"Wow. That's quite a picture," Shiro mused.
"Yeah, well, he's only my FAKE boyfriend, don't judge me."
"Did you send him any back?"
"What? Of course not."
"Well maybe it'll help the cover story if you do."
"Oh my god. I don't DO selfies."
"Just tell him you're picking out your tie and you want his opinion. Send him pictures of THAT."
"But we've already picked my tie."
"They don't need to know that. And who knows, maybe he doesn't like purple."
Keith grumbled and put on the first tie he found.
"I'm only doing this for you, Shiro," he said as he took a disgruntled selfie.
He was about to send it with the caption "my life coach says I should send you a picture," but Shiro stopped him.
"Keith, if he shows that to someone they'll know it's a prank."
"Why would he even be showing this to people?"
"Well, you showed me HIS picture."
Keith sighed and changed the caption to "help me pick out a tie."
"Is this how YOU flirt with people? Asking for their opinion on your ties?"
"No," Shiro grinned. "I ask them to tie it."
Well. People besides HIM. They'd already been over that.
"That's… pretty good game, actually."
"I'm a little insulted that you're so surprised."
"Do you ever get someone who CAN'T tie a tie?"
"Yes and we've been together for months."
Keith snorted.
"I should have figured."
He'd SEEN that kid's ties.
Pulling off the first one, he picked out another of a drastically different color and put it on.
He really hated taking selfies. He didn't really like looking at himself.
"See if he likes this one," Shiro handed Keith the purple tie.
"I thought two was enough," Keith grumbled, putting it on anyway.
"Well, maybe he'll guess right," Shiro winked.
"I didn't know you were such a fashionista."
"I'm just not going to let someone I love wear the wrong tie to a first date."
"I don't think most people even have very strong opinions about them," Keith complained.
Just then, his phone pinged with a text.
It was Lance, with some very strong opinions about them.