Story: When Everything Changed

Summary: Something inside begins to protest her actions causing Bellatrix to question herself and those around her. How will her world as she knows it be affected? BL/HG

Rated: M

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns everything. I am merely borrowing the characters to play my own little game with them.

A/N 1: Italics are a flashback. Also ** before a new paragraph after a break indicates a scene change. While xx means skipping further into that scene. I just wanted to clarify. Please let me know if these symbols aren't showing up.

A/N 2: Though I have edited this more than once I am sure there are still mistakes. This is unbetaed and all mistakes are mine.

A/N 3: Not the original. Revised and Reposted.
_

Hermione's POV

I should feel overjoyed that the war is over. Part of me is, but the other half… I watched as the woman that saved my life was murdered without a word. I stood there frozen and distraught that I couldn't return the favor. After all of the horrible things Bellatrix Lestrange has done no one will know of the moment she redeemed herself by assisting in seven people's escape from the Malfoy manor.

Untangling myself from the roaring crowd I slip out of the room and take a seat on the hard stone staircase in the entrance hall, or what is left of it. The sound of students filing out of the Great Hall becomes white noise as my thoughts consume me. I continue to scold myself for even considering mourning Bellatrix Lestrange. However, that is overridden by the guilt of not even attempting to save her when she risked her life to save me.

Blinking I find caring emerald green eyes observing me. I send Professor McGonagall a small smile and it is returned before she leaves the castle.

I will wait. I need to talk to her. I missed Hogwarts this year, but even more so I missed Professor McGonagall. All year I wished I could turn to her seeking advice and comfort, and right now my need of a friend has never been greater. I have Ron, Harry, and Ginny, but I can't bring myself to talk to them. Not about the difficult things. I'm not exactly sure they would understand.

I haven't told Harry or Ron what really happened that night at the Malfoy Manor. I can't and even if I did they wouldn't believe me.

Bellatrix Lestrange's piercing eyes won't leave my mind. I remember the first time I saw her: she fresh from Azkaban, and too thin, but not fragile. I would never describe her as fragile. Her eyes held a vast emptiness and an overwhelming amount of insanity. But when she looked at me at the Malfoy's something had changed. Her eyes where no longer void of emotion. There was confusion and uncertainty floating in them.

A hand on my shoulder drags me away from my thoughts. Looking up I stare into the kind eyes of my Professor. "It's nice to see you Hermione. When Potter said he couldn't find you or Mr. Weasley I was worried."

"We were…we were following through with something so the students of Hogwarts could go home with tales of how Harry Potter defeated the Dark Lord," I state with a smirk. As I stand up I am pulled into a tight embrace which surprises me. I return the gesture and find myself sinking into her warm, comforting arms. "Do you have a few minutes Professor?" I ask in a whisper.

"Of course." I walk alongside her down the crumbling and destroyed corridors. "The castle will take most of the summer to repair," She says as she watches me take in the damage done to the place that I have called home for six years. I still consider it home even though I did not return for my seventh year.

I had a home, but my parents never understood the world I lived in. They were not eager to hear about my accomplishments or my adventures so naturally I preferred Hogwarts where there were others like me. Harry understands my love of this building, but Ron has a wizarding home to return to. He has always says I love Hogwarts too much.

"Professor?"

"Yes, Miss Granger?" I want to cringe. I like it better when she calls me Hermione, but six years of teaching me has created a habit.

I follow her as she turns down a corridor. We have been weaving around the castle trying to find a safe way to her office. Many passages are blocked by piles of stone, fallen pillars, bookshelves, armor, and bodies that have yet to be unburied from the ruble.

I wonder if I should bring the person occupying my thoughts into this conversation, or if Professor McGonagall would even have a helpful answer for me. But one glance at her reassures me that if I need to talk she's the one to talk to. She won't judge me or overreact. And as always she will help me in any way possible. "Were you teaching when Bellatrix Lestrange was a student at Hogwarts?"

"It was Black then dear. Bellatrix Black."

"Right. I actually knew that. I saw it on the family tree at Grimmauld Place. That's a yes?"

She nods, "Why do you ask?" Her tone has become guarded causing my mind to reel with questions about what she knows and how well she knows Bellatrix Lestrange.

"It has to do with an experience I had a little while ago…" Then I tell her as we walk along halls about what happened at the Malfoy Manor. It is a relief to have someone else know. To have somebody to discuss things with.

"And you want to know more about Bellatrix. It is understandable Hermione. Bellatrix is a very complex person."

"Did you know her at all? Other than being her teacher?"

"I did," My eyes bulge as she willing confirms my suspicion. "However, Miss Granger, I feel it is not my place to tell you about Bellatrix. To understand the true Bellatrix Lestrange you must learn about her past; and there is only one person who can give you that information."

"But that means I will nev…"

"It's Bellatrix's past, it's her decision."

xx
Stepping into Professor McGonagall's quarters I stifle a scream. Sprawled out on the couch is no other than Bellatrix Lestrange.

I can feel my eyes widen and my heart skips a beat. How could she possibly…I saw…what?

No matter what I saw she is lying in front of me: her black wavy locks resting on her shoulders, in a black dress with a purple and black corset over it. Her pale skin is illuminated by the light of the fire. Her face is gaunt, there are dark circles beneath her eyes, and a deep gash across her cheek. Yet she is still strikingly beautiful.

I remember the first time I saw her; it was during my fifth year when Dumbledore's Army broke into the Department of Mysteries to save Sirius Black, and my first thought was that Bellatrix was gorgeous. Exactly like that first night I force myself to return to reality and ignore the reasons why such a strange thought keeps popping into my head.

Professor McGonagall waves her wand in Bellatrix's direction and the gash on Bellatrix's cheek starts to heal itself. Dark eyes slowly flutter open and I detect warmth in them that was not there before. Her attention first lands on Professor McGonagall and then darts to me. Quickly she stands. "Miss Granger," She nods at me.

"You should probably get going Bella. People will be coming to discuss Hogwarts matters with me momentarily," I note how Professor McGonagall calls her Bella causing me to deduce she cares about the woman standing in front of us. In a strange way I do too.

Bellatrix moves past me to the door. I spin around quickly. "Wait," Bellatrix looks over her shoulder at me. "Before you leave Madame Lestrange," Shock crosses her face as I address her. "I… I just wanted to thank you for saving my life."

Nodding and leaves the room.

"Excuse me for a moment," Professor McGonagall says before following Bellatrix. I can hear their hushed voices in the other room but can't make out any of what they are saying. Professor McGonagall returns and smiles at me. "I had to open the passage for her to leave."

"I don't recall noticing any passages in your office."

"Hogwarts has many secrets dear."

"Clearly. When will you be moving into the Headmaster's office?"

"In a few days' time I believe."

"If you need any help repairing the castle…"

"I shall let you know." Gently taking my arm Professor McGonagall leads me to the couch and sits next to me. "Would you like something to drink? Perhaps a small snack?"

I glance around the familiar room before my eyes find hers and I shake my head. "What is going on? I saw Mrs. Weasley kill Bellatrix."

"I will explain what is going on, but first I want you to tell me about how you destroyed the Horecuxes."

"You know? How? Only Dumbledore, Harry, Ron, and I are supposed to know about those."

"I have my sources."

"What about the people coming to meet with you?" I ask as I suddenly remember the reason she had Bellatrix leave.

"Kreacher." A pop echoes through the room.

"Yes Mistress?"

"Will you inform the Professors and Ministry employees that I will be unavailable for meetings until after dinner please?"

"Yes Mistress." He turns to me and nods, "Miss Hermione."

"Hello Kreacher." And with another loud pop he is gone.

Professor McGonagall turns her attention back to me and I quickly assess the situation. I know I am not supposed to tell anyone, but she already knows about the Horecuxes so there can't be any harm in filling in the blanks. My eyes catch Professor McGonagall's and I know that it is safe to tell her. It will always be safe to tell her. So I begin to inform Professor McGonagall about our journey to destroy the Horecuxes in return for information about how Bellatrix Lestrange yet again escaped death.

**
Sitting on the window ledge I stare out into the trees and fields beyond the yard. It has been a month and I can't rid my mind of Bellatrix. I haven't been able to talk to anyone about my thoughts or feelings, because I promised I wouldn't reveal that Bellatrix isn't dead. If people knew she is alive it would strike panic amongst the community. Even if the truth were to be told the people of the wizarding world would not listen long enough to hear the good she has done in the past few months. Instead all that would be heard are the lingering memories of the actions of an insane Death Eater. Not even her family knows she is alive. Apparently that is the way she wants it.

A hand slides around my waist and a pair of lips take my earlobe into his mouth. I know I should enjoy this but I don't. "Ron stop," I say as I nudge him away with my elbow.

"Aw, come on, 'Mione," He says. The stubble on his face scratches my cheek.

"I'm not in the mood." I escape from his arms and my thoughts as my irritation builds. We have officially been together for three weeks and I thought things would change. During the war we were too busy to define ourselves as a couple and our relationship was purely physical. I justified this by convincing myself that we didn't have time for the mental part of the relationship when every day we flirted with death, but as soon as the war was over that would change. I was wrong. Ron wants to continue with our relationship without the expression of feelings or the talking. While I have tried to engage him in conversation it was short lived since our common interests are far and few. I haven't dared bring this up with Ron, because I love him. I really do and I would rather make sacrifices and be in the type of relationship we are then not be with him at all.

The sun is setting as I walk along the deserted lane. I love the crisp air and vibrant green surrounding me. Like most times I am annoyed with Ron I take a step back. I am lucky tonight that it is nice, seeing as it has been raining for the past few days.

I hear a noise in the distance and I peer around for what caused the sound. I see nothing so I continue to walk. Walk further and further away from my problems. My reality. I walk to a place where I can be alone. I can be myself. Where my mind can wander freely without guilt or regret of my emotions.

I trek up the hill breathing heavily. I remember the morning we trudged up this same hill to catch a portkey to the Quidditch World Cup. Reaching the top I hear the rustling of bushes and look around again I see nothing suspicious.

Pulling out my wand I continue. Taking a seat on the ground I leaning against a tree I close my eyes.

A noise comes from behind me. I whip my head around. Standing there is a rather disheveled looking Bellatrix. "Madame Lestrange, what are you doing here?"

She stands next to me. "Call me Bellatrix." Her tone is commanding. I cannot tell if she means it to be or if it has been that way for so long it is automatic. "Please," she adds her voice slightly softer.

"Okay. Feel free to sit next to me if you want." She nods and sits. I absorb her appearance. She is thinner than last time. Her eyes even more tired. "Why are you here? Where have you been?"

"I've been keeping on the move. I figured it is best. Mainly places where I'm less apt to be recognized. Still I've stayed hidden as a precaution. Caves and forests provide the best shielding. I had just apparated here when I saw you walking down the road, Miss Granger."

"Hermione," I correct. "Do you think it wise to hide so close to a wizarding community?"

She is silent. The quiet around is awkward yet comforting. I observe Bellatrix from the corner of my eye. She seems to be struggling with something. Quietly she says, "I was hungry I haven't eaten in a week." I wonder why she was so hesitant when there is nothing to be ashamed of.

"So you were going to go shopping?"

She chuckles, "Not exactly."

"If you wait until everyone is sleeping I could sneak you food from the Weasley's."

"You don't have to I can find other food."

"No I want to." I realize for the first time that the sun is almost gone from the sky. "If you wait here I will come back and get you once everyone is sleeping. I have to go before people begin to look for me." I stand up and begin to walk away. I stop and turn to face Bellatrix. "Will you be here?"

She nods and I send her a small smile. She doesn't return the gesture. I didn't expect her to.

**
I talked to Mrs. Weasley about bringing Bellatrix to the Burrow eat. Even though she was not pleased, and was hesitant, she agreed to make sure everyone remained upstairs while I brought Bellatrix here.

Quietly I close the door behind me and head along the same path I did earlier.

I reach the spot where I sat down and look around. "Bellatrix?" I whisper. "Bellatrix?" When she appears I have to remind myself that she won't hurt me. Under the moonlight the small amount of change in her is gone. It as if she is standing in front of me a ghost of her former self. A frightening ghost that did not mind killing at all.

I reach toward her to take her hand so I can lead her back to the house and stop myself mid-action. I'm certain she would not appreciate that.

We walk back to the Weasley's in silence. I notice that Mrs. Weasley has already made something for Bellatrix. It was kind of her considering she didn't want Bellatrix here. "It looks like Mrs. Weasley already made you something, and a bag of food for you to take with you."

She sits down at the table and begins to eat quickly. I take the chair next to her and allow my eyes to wander around the room while I wait for her to finish.

I am shaken from my thoughts when Bellatrix stands up. I walk her to the door. I am disappointed that she hasn't said anything. What was I expecting her to say? Why is it so important to me what she thinks? Why do I want to be her friend? Does she want a friend? More importantly does she want me as a friend?

I step into the cool night air. "How long will you be here?"

She shrugs, "It depends."

"Oh," I say disappointed. I want to ask if I will see her again, but there is a possibility that she does not want to see me again. " Well then I guess this is goodbye for now," or always.

"Bye." She replies and walks away without a backwards glance.

**
There is a knock on the door. Harry, Ron, Ginny, and George are out playing Quidditch and Mrs. Weasley is running errands. Opening the door I find Tonks behind it holding a small bundle I assume is Teddy. Tonks hasn't been the same since Lupin's death. I know she loved him with all of her heart. It shows in her magic. She no longer changes her appearance, whether it is choice or loss of power no one knows.

"Hey Tonks. Come on in." She follows me into the living room. She sits on the couch and I sink into the recliner across from her. "How are you holding up?" I ask quietly.

"I'm getting by. I miss him."

"We all do." We are plunged into silence. Filled with the memories of lost loved ones and emotions that need not to be spoken of. I glance up at Tonks. There are tears in her eyes as she gazes down at her son.

"I wouldn't be here to hold Teddy. To watch him grow if…" She falls quiet, and I wait to see if she is going to finish.

When it appears she is not going to I ask, "If what?"

"I know this sounds crazy. I'm probably just imagining it, but I could swear that well… I was tired, and the Death Eater I was fighting was winning. He sent the killing curse at me, and it would have hit me if Bellatrix hadn't knocked me over just in time. It was almost as if it was on purpose. Like I said I know it sounds insane." I can't tell Tonks about what happened at the Malfoy's, but I have a feeling Bellatrix did knock Tonks over on purpose.

To save her life. "Like I said though, I'm probably imagining things."