I woke in the morning well rested. The sun was shining brightly through the window. A warm spell like this was remarkable for this time of year. It was a welcomed reminder that summer was not too far away. I hoped today would be warm enough to work on my tan. Even if it wasn't, I would bask outside all day, listening to the radio and reading my new books. It was a plan.

I rolled over and saw a note on the vacant pillow that Bill had occupied just hours before. The beautiful penmanship read,

My lover,

Don't cry anymore. Come see me tonight. Also darling, you reek of garlic!

-E

Several thought bombarded me simultaneously. Eric was here in my bedroom and didn't wake me, or even attempt to slip under the covers? Not possible. Did Bill relay my entire night to Eric? Was Eric spying on me? Was Bill the spy? Did Eric come in my bedroom and find Bill here? I am sick of these vampire games. I rolled out of bed and headed to the kitchen for breakfast. I took out eggs, bread, sausage links and milk. As I sat the milk on the counter I noticed a note taped to the back of the carton. It read,

Sookie,

You are not alone. I'm glad I was here for you last night, if only as a friend. I have something important I need to talk to you about before I leave. Please let me.

I hope this one finds you,

Bill

This is day 1 of the three-day Sookie-independence celebration. Why did I have the feeling that my independence was about to turn on me and implode? Did Bill leave other notes? What did he think would happen to his notes that he resorted to the back of my milk carton? Certainly nobody would go rummaging around in my refrigerator looking for notes left for me. Why wouldn't this find me? Leaving? Where was he going and for how long? Forever?

How long was I asleep that my life could change so rapidly? Something told me that I had better rest up for a long night ahead. Perhaps I will leave town. This way trouble won't know where to look tonight. Of course, given my past couple years, trouble will find me, one way or another it always does.

After breakfast, I caught up on cleaning and laundry. Boy I missed Amelia right now. I attempted to call her, but went straight to voicemail. By early afternoon it had warmed up enough to enjoy the sun. It's my one indulgence, even though I know it's bad for my skin, but there is nothing like a glowing tan. I moved a chair out to the yard and read the afternoon away, the radio playing by my side. The sun was warm and relaxing. I daydreamt about my future. I imagined what it would be like to have a family, to have kids running around in the sun, splashing water at each other. We would lie on a blanket, have a picnic in this very yard, laugh and tell jokes the entire day. I imagined waking up to the smell of my husband making us all breakfast. This, however, would not be my future. My heart belongs to a vampire.

My heart belongs to a vampire!

I suddenly found myself short of breath. Did I just think that! Did I just declare to myself that I love a vampire? Do I love a vampire? Do I!!?? Wait, which one? My mind flashed back and forth between Bill and Eric. Oh, great.

Bill, my first love, my first lover. He broke my heart, but would die for me, and would give up everything for one more chance with me. He brushed my hair, carried me when I was weak, and bathed me. He had a great sense of humor, he really did. But Bill had to have human blood, and would never settle for True Blood. He turned to other willing females for blood when I couldn't give any more. He was always secretive and didn't always tell me when he would disappear for periods of time. When we fought, he would try to make me feel jealous by bringing by other lady friends. Sometimes he was too rough with sex and couldn't control it. His vampiric instincts often put me in harm's way. At least three times. First, when zealots open fired on us in Dallas, Bill chased and drained prey before protecting me. Secondly, he ran back to his maker ho without telling me what was happening. Thirdly, he nearly killed me in the trunk, raped and nearly drained me. Could any vampire resist their vampiric urges if they knew I was in danger? Could Bill ever put me before these preternatural urges? Could I ever trust him again?

Eric. Eric my Viking lover – and what a lover at that. When Bill left me for Lorena he told me to turn to Eric if he didn't return. I had turned to Eric, even though Bill did return. Well, I turned to the lost Eric, the Eric stripped of politics and power, stripped of his manipulative ways. Eric, my big bullshitter, protected me during the gunfire in Dallas, although he tricked me into sucking out the bullet. He protected me at the orgy and from the maenad's wrath, although he pushed for sex on the hood of his car. He was there when the Weres returned me to the hotel, after I escaped the Fellowship hostage situation, even let me cry on his shirt (although he wanted nothing more than for me to stop crying). He was there when I was staked at Club Dead, and cared for me afterwards. My Eric, the lost Eric, offered to give up everything to live with me. I was his everything, he wanted nothing more, he trusted me with his life, he took a bullet for me. Actually, both Eric and lost Eric were always taking bullets for me. Both always came to my rescue. But the real Eric would always be engulfed in vampire politics. He would never want a mere human to be a weakness of his. He would not die for me. In Rhodes he said he would never recklessly risk himself for me, but he would try to keep the both of us alive. Plus, I bet not even Eric himself could count how many women he had each week, and I mean had in every sense of the word. Could he ever be loyal or faithful to a mere human? Could Eric ever put me before his desire for power and politics?

I went inside to call Amelia again. Voicemail. I needed somebody to talk to. I showered, dried my hair, and put on a mid-length sun dress in pale pink. I was glad to be able to wear a summer dress this early in the year. I finished the outfit with simple pearl earrings. I grabbed my keys and purse and left the house, headed to visit gran's resting site. I have been thinking about her a lot these last few months. About everything Niall shared with me. Why did I get the feeling that Niall and Eric knew more about me than they were sharing, a lot more.

I hadn't been to visit gran in a long time, too long. I took the long way to the cemetery, enjoying the feel of wind on my face, tousling hair over my shoulders.

As I approached, I noticed a large floral arrangement had been recently placed at her site. It flaunted beautiful shades of yellow, mixed with large white blooms. The white blooms looked like graceful butterflies dancing on green stems. I did not recognize the flowers, they looked very exotic, and certainly not anything one would find in Bon Temps. It was lovely. Certainly these were not from Jason, not his style, and I highly doubt he ever visited her. Who did gran know that would have access to such an unusual and exotic blends of flowers? My mind formed a list of potential donors, none. The only exotic flower I had ever seen was when I was in the hospital recovering from the serial killer's attack….

Eric!

I sat still for several minutes, one hand on the flowers, the other on gran's headstone. Would Eric have done this? Was our bond so deep that he could sense that I was missing gran? I knew Eric never met gran and had no such sentiments for her. But was he so in love with me that he would project my feelings onto himself and do this for me? Did he know I would come here today and find these or did he do it selflessly, without any desire for recognition? The sun was setting behind me. I knew what I had to do.

I ran to my car and headed to Fangtasia.