DISCLAIMER: DISCLAIMER

A/N: I AM ACTUALLY UPDATING TODAY! YAYYYYY!

Dear Journal,

I know what a mammogram is. It's... interesting. Much interesting. Very informative.

Mammograms are weird.

Oh, so the birthday gifts were good. They went well. I had a laugh. Victoire got an enlarged nose, and Fred got a cuddly stuffed cow. A cuddly, enlarged with an engorgio, cow. So that it'll be bigger than me, which is wicked cool, if you ask me.

Anyway, to my main point. So, two years ago I found this piece of parchment on Dad's desk that practically had magic radiating off of it. So I took it, and promised to myself that I would find out what the parchment does on a later date. Then I forgot about it. I found it on the bottom of my trunk today while I was packing my trunk. (It's almost the last day of school: it ends on the seventeenth!) So then I started to play around with it. I started to point my wand at it and say silly phrases like open sesame and I command you to show me yourself. Well, after I said James Sirius Potter, son of Harry James Potter and student of Hogwart school of witchcraft and wizardry, commands you to yield the information you conceal! writing started to show up on the parchment.

Mooney presents his compliments to James Sirius Potter, and begs him to keep his abnormally large head out of other people's business.

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony and would like to add that James Potter is a HB. As in a Humongous Bighead.

Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an bighead like that ever could be a student in Hogwarts and not fail.

Mr. Wormtail bids James Sirius Potter good day, and advises him to deflate his head, for the sake of all the other students at Hogwarts.

Ouch. I just got insulted by a piece of paper.

Then I replied with a Well messrs Moony, Prongs, Padfoot, and Wormtail. I apologize for sticking my HB into your business. Besides, I like your insults. Can you teach me some?

I'm pretty sure that all the paper can do isn't just insult people. Plus, if you can't get what you want immediately, you may have to sweet-talk your way to it.

Messer Prongs is flattered. But not ignorant. What does messr Potter wish for?

I would like to understand what you hide, Messrs..

Messer Padfoot asks why messer Potter still wants to converse with us, though us messers have already insulted him.

Well, Padfoot, I really want to know what you hide.

Mess- oh for goodness sake. Moony wants to inform Potter that all he has to say is I solemnly swear I am up to no good to gain access, and say mischief managed to hide us from prying eyes.

MOONY! The whole parchment seemed to shake from the other messer's outbursts.

Thank you Moony. I solemnly swear I am up to no good.

And then, the piece of parchment started to transform. Into a map! A map of Hogwarts, I mean. Then, I noticed the little specks of ink moving on the map. After closer inspection, I realized that the little specks were actually footprints. The footprints of the people in Hogwarts! Under their footprints were their names. So, I could see where everybody was at that very moment! It was bloody brilliant. Why would Dad hide the map from me? Or Al and Lily? Like I said before, it was-is bloody brilliant.

Today I found a map

And four messers too

I can now use it with a tap

But I couldn't until I got the clue

So a mammogram is actually, according to the merredian-webster online dictionary,

medical : a photograph of a woman's breasts made by X-rays

I really didn't know! But now I do, so it's sort of awkward.

So, goodbye!