Thank you for reading, following and reviewing. :-) Updates won't be as fast with this one until Sanctum is finished, but I will try not to take too long, as I know how frustrating that is when you're in the middle of a story! Thank you for joining me on this journey which I am about to take Liv and El on - let's see if El makes any progress and if Liv is doing OK...

Elliot only briefly returned home to grab a case and quickly fill it with clothes and the basics he would need. He had little idea where he was going beyond the airline that Olivia had booked with and a rough time of day, but he had no intention of letting that stop him. If Olivia wanted to walk away, he was not going to let her do it. They needed each other - he knew she knew that, and at times just how much he needed her...it scared him, although he would not admit that. He didn't want to voice the strength of his feeling to her for fear that she would shut down and run, but now that she had done just that, he was done holding back. He was going to find her, and he was going to stop her from putting this distance between them - she would know how he felt about her, and he was damned if he was going to let her go without knowing that...

In only three hours Elliot had succeeded in boarding a plane for her destination - it had taken blatant abuse of his badge to get access to her flight information, and due to delays, he was in fact only an hour behind her. After an uneventful flight he had disembarked, retrieved his bag...and wondered where the hell to go next.

Knowing he was not far behind her in terms of the time frame, and doubting that she would come back to the airport to know what he was doing, he again used his badge to get the airport personnel to look at her photo and assist him. No-one airside had recognised her photo - but given the sheer number of people who passed through that was no great surprise. Her next step seemed obvious to him - she left the airport somehow, and there was a high chance that it was by hiring a car or by taxi. Fin had nothing on her cards but did have a cash withdrawal near the airport shortly before her departure - so he assumed she had paid for a taxi in cash.

It took Elliot forty minutes before he finally gave up on the taxi lead - far too many taxi's had passed through and no one recognised her. He was beyond frustrated and bordering on angry. She had given no thought to the impact she would have on him - he knew that wouldn't last though. She wouldn't just keep him out of her life - he knew he mattered more to her than that.

Elliot leaned back in a chair in the airport lounge as he reluctantly considered flying back home. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to rest - but all he could see was Olivia - the despair on her face as he turned her around and walked her away from the scene. He was fuelled on nothing but adrenalin - it had been coursing through him since the captain had told him that she was taking time off :

He had to find her.

Their lives had gone on so deeply intertwined for so long, but their feelings never broached...It had to change - if she was going to do this, then he had to find her and bring her back - to her life, to him.

Picking up his phone to call Fin again, he hoped for a lead - anything to avoid get back on a plane and giving up. She was at least an hour ahead of him and that made searching for her just too difficult without having some clue as to where she had headed to. He didn't know where she was going, or even if she had a reason for going there, but he had to find her. He was quite simply lost and incomplete without her and it was beginning to look like she really didn't know just how much he cared about her...just how much he loved her.

-Fin - tell me you have something?

-Yeah Stabler I have something..a pissed off captain chewing me out for running Olivia's phone records. You better call him - and right now.

Elliot sighed - he would find her, whatever it took, but acting on impulse and following her flight had seemed to lead him nowhere.

MOTEL ROOM

Olivia lay on the bed, she hadn't bothered to undress or even pull the covers back - she hadn't realised how exhausted she felt until she climbed onto the bed. Now all that she wanted to do was sleep - but it would not come. Everytime she closed her eyes, she saw the scene play out again. She knew she should really have listened to Cragen's suggestion of talking to Huang but she had placated him by saying that she would do that when she came back...although she wasn't sure now if she had even said when she would come back...everything from the moment Elliot had held her had been a blur, and she was amazed at herself that she had covered so much ground so fast. In truth, she had no idea where she was going - all she wanted to do was get away - she couldn't face going into work the next day, couldn't face talking about it...

She gave a sigh as she stared up at the ceiling - Elliot filled her thoughts immediately. She felt a pang of guilt at having left with no word to him, but turning her head and glancing at her switched off cell phone resting on the stand next to her bed, she just couldn't bring herself to reach out and pick it up.

He would be pissed at her for doing this, she knew that, but she was angry at herself - and she knew the longer she left it, the harder it would be to call him. Already after just a day, she was feeling more regret than she could handle alone, with the mess she was already dealing with. She knew she had only made things worse, and now she was left alternating between replaying the shooting in her head and wondering how Elliot had reacted to Cragen's news that she had left.

She felt so compelled to reach over and just pick up the damn phone - switch it on and call him. She didn't even need to call - just a text message, but anything she sent would open a door that she didn't want to walk through. She cursed herself for her own inability to make this right - but she hurt just too much. Just leaving...disappearing - it felt like the only right thing. It was a messed up decision, and the further away she had gone, the more she seemed to hurt. She closed her eyes and imagined what Elliot what do if she sent him a message - told him where she was. She imagined him lying on the bed with her, taking her in his arms, holding her like he had done at the crime scene….but she silently admonished herself for wanting that - she had no right to his comfort after undoubtedly hurting him.

She rolled over, facing away from her cell phone as her eyes focused on the light creeping in through the bottom of the curtain. She realised that the next day had come and she hadn't even slept.

Olivia had never felt more tired but sleep would not come easily. Her thoughts constantly drifted to Elliot as she lay motionless, staring at the growing light around the curtain edges. She blinked, surprised that tears were forming in her eyes. Moving her knees up she lay curled in the bed and didn't fight the tears as they fell. She sobbed for the girl she had failed to protect, her face filling her mind. She cried hard until she had no tears left and all that remained was sorrow, regret and guilt.

4 WEEKS LATER

Fin shut the file, tossing it onto a pile on his desk and sighed. "I'm done."

"Finally! Lets go," Munch said as he put on his coat, casting a glance to Elliot.

"Stabler...you joining us for a drink?" Fin said.

Elliot sat back in his chair, "No, I gotta chase something down."

Munch and Fin exchanged a glance as Munch headed over to him. "Come on, you can't keep doing this - give yourself a break."

"I'm working Munch, I don't have time for a drink. Just go," Elliot snapped.

Fin rounded his desk and took hold of his monitor, swivelling it around so that he could see the screen

"Work? Yeah right Stabler you've been off your game since Liv left. Only lead your chasing is your partner. If you'd actually talk to us we could help you." Fin said.

"What the hell does it have to do with you if I am looking at a lead?" Elliot replied angrily.

Munch walked over and twisted the monitor back toward Elliot in an attempt to diffuse the tension between his partner and Elliot. "We care about her too Elliot - you're just tormenting yourself and it's not doing you any good She doesn't want us to find her...we have to wait till she's ready..."

"You really think I can just carry on and wait? We have no idea if she's OK...and I know every damn lead I've chased has got me nowhere, but eventually I'm gonna catch a break. I'm more worried now than I was before - even after I spent the best part of a week out there showing her photo around and got nowhere." Elliot said.

Munch glanced at Fin who gave a defeated sigh, "OK what you got?"

"Nothing," Elliot said firmly.

Munch raised an eyebrow questioningly as he exchanged a glance with Fin.

"Nothing...and that's the huge damn red flag here," he paused as he looked at Munch and Fin, ensuring he had their attention.

"Go on Elliot, we're listening," Munch said seriously.

"I have checked her financials and phone records every week - ran her prints and DNA again - checked with anyone I can think of, and no one has heard from her. She took five hundred dollars in cash out of her bank account - the max the machine would allow. How far does that go in four weeks?" Elliot said determined to convince them.

"The only hit on her credit card was the flight...and she rarely used that card," Elliot took a breath, "she didn't have an automatic payment set up - she didn't use it much...but listen...she missed the card payment and the card is blocked. Don't tell me that's not a concern..."

"OK you got my attention Stabler - her financials were healthy, that's out of character for Liv." Fin said immediately concerned.

As if on cue captain Cragen exited his office to see his three remaining detectives standing around Elliot's computer. With a sigh he approached them.

"What are you all still doing here?"

"It's been four weeks cap - she should be officially reported missing so we can get more assistance investigating," Elliot paused, regretting his words even as he spoke them, "we might have made more progress if we had reported her missing right away. If you had listened to me she might be home by now!"

Cragen took a deep breath before responding, knowing Elliot was taking Olivia's disappearance hard and choosing not to react to his accusatory words

"Elliot - it's concerning for us all, but I couldn't justify opening a case because Olivia took vacation time! I'm on tentative ground as it is with this," Cragen sighed. "Look, we have all been unofficially investigating - every one of us here has been trying to locate her under the radar. Making it an official investigation puts the spotlight on her - she won't be happy."

"She missed a card payment - Olivia is not lax with her finance, she just doesn't do that," Elliot said, "it's been too long - I can't sit here every damn day right across from her desk, not knowing if she's OK - I can't even remember the last thing she said - the last words either of us spoke - I just remember how much she was struggling, how hard she took that girl's death. I can't sit here wondering if she's even able to call. I can't be effective like this - my head isn't in this right now - she's my only focus, I need to be out there looking for her," Elliot said.

"We need to pull together as unit over this Elliot - you are falling apart and your cases are suffering. Look - you need to take some personal time, so do it. Go look for her - we will keep investigating at our end," he sighed, "I might regret this, but it has been too long without contact and the inactivity on her bank records is worrying...I will open a case - and you will be the first to know if we find anything...but check in with me - I don't want two of my detectives AWOL," Cragen said.

Elliot had quickly made arrangements with his ex wife - who had been less than impressed about his sudden need to cancel his weekend with the kids. It didn't take long for Kathy to feel concerned however - Olivia had always supported Elliot, and while the intensity and closeness of their partnership had bothered her on many levels over the years, she wished Olivia no harm, and did feel somewhat concerned herself. She also knew how hard it was hitting Elliot - she prayed that Olivia was OK - Elliot clearly was very worried and he would never be able to rest until he had found her.

Once he had got off the phone with his ex wife, satisfied that she would explain his absence to their children, he wasted no time in packing and heading out to the airport again. It seemed like an impossible task - to start with no leads, but he knew that eventually he would get lucky - Fin and Munch would keep working at their end, and if any leads did turn up, he knew they would waste no time in telling him. They all wanted her home - they wanted her to be safe. This time he made himself a promise - he would not go back without her.

Before long, Elliot once again stepped out of the airport, this time his expectation and hope of finding her quickly had diminished rapidly, but he was determined. He knew she had started her journey from that point, and wherever she had gone - he would find her.

I promise more Olivia scenes soon - it'll be very EO focused as it moves along.