Authors Note:
I apologize; I meant to post this chapter long ago. I had actually written the first draft, but when I went to revise it, I realized just how much of a crucial chapter it was. I ended up doing many revisions after that. Normally, I write on my computer, but was away from home for a few weeks and had to write it on my phone (which is really hard). Anyway, I hope to get the next chapter up soon, I just need to work out some plot points.
I'm trying to make it a little obvious where Reed is from, but haven't found a good place in the story to really confirm it.
This chapter is longer than the last one. I hope you all enjoy it. Reviews are always appreciated.
I own nothing.
Reed dreamt of his family.
He dreamt of the night he left them.
His dreams always recreated his memories to the exact detail. It was a gift, because he would never be able to forget their faces. Yet it was a curse to be constantly reminded of their sorrow.
He remembered the day, remembered the house. He grew up in a small shack at the base of the northern mountain range. His troop was following a route at the base of the mountains, before heading further south.
For days, he had begged his commander to let him say goodbye. He only needed 10 minutes. Just 10 minutes. The route they were taking would pass within 5 miles of his house, he knew he could never live with himself if he truly left without saying goodbye.
His commander refused.
He ended up bribing him with everything he had. He volunteered to clean the tents, to do night watch, he volunteered to do every grueling job in the camp, but the man still said no. In the end he stole a gold watch from another soldier. The soldier would later beat him for taking it, but that didn't matter. His commander accepted the bribe.
It wasn't necessarily lucky that he got to say goodbye. If anything it hurt even more.
It had been well past sunset when he arrived at his home. When his mother opened the door she had been utterly stunned at his presence. For a few seconds she seemed relived that he was alive and well. She ushered him inside, smiling. His lack of emotion must have signaled that something was wrong. As he explained to her his new mission, her relief quickly turned to stunned silence.
He was now an operative in Operation Dagger.
There would be no more letters. No communication at all. He was never coming home.
She began to cry.
He tried the best he could to comfort her, but he knew it was in vain.
"Don't worry, I'll be okay. I will be with people I know and they will look after me. I'll be fine, mom."
His mother simply sat in a chair, eyes brimming with tears. He crouched before her.
"It will be alright. The army will continue to care for you. You will get food and supplies." He voice cracked a bit and he hoped she didn't notice. "My sister and brother would still be able to go to school. They'll get a good education."
He tried to sound as confident as he could, as if a few words could make everything alright.
Still his mother said nothing.
The howling wind grew louder and shook the house.
He blinked back the tears which were forming in his eyes. Now wasn't the time for tears. He had to be strong. There was never a time for weakness.
"Come on mom. Say something. Please," he begged. The silence eating away at him.
She looked at him and her tears began to fall. She opened her mouth to speak then closed it, lost for words.
They were both startled by a sudden banging at the door.
"Come on, boy, one minute left. We need to keep moving."
He looked back at his mother.
"That's my commander… I need… I need to leave now..." he said. His heart panged with helplessness. He took a long look at her face, then turned to leave. But stopped, feeling his mother's hand pull him back. He turned to face her for the last time.
Her face was full of tears, her eyes watery and sad. Her voice broke when she spoke.
"I just want to say that I'm proud. I'm so proud. You always made sure we would be taken care of. No matter the cost." She sniffled. "And now you are going on this dangerous mission… and I just want you to know… that I care about you. I love you so much. I'm going to miss you."
She pulled him into a hug.
"Goodbye, mother," he said. They broke away after a few moments knowing if he held on any longer he would never be able to let go.
He crossed the room to the front door. And stood there for a moment, not willing or ready to leave.
Was this really the end?
He heard small footsteps approach behind him, causing him to turn around.
"Brother!" a small voice said.
"Sis," he said, forcing himself to smile. He crouched down so that they were eye to eye. "Why are you still awake?"
"I thought I heard you." She said, looking at him with her bright eyes. "Here." she said, handing him something. "We meant to send this in the next letter, but now that you are here, I can give it to you in person."
He looked from her beaming face to the object in his hand, turning it over. It was a leather bracelet. The leather felt sturdy and hard and had been decorated with several engraved symbols.
"Little brother and I made it. Here, let me show you." She said, pointing. "These are the mountains and here, is our house. Those three dots next to it are mama, little brother, and me," she said proudly. "I couldn't draw people so we did dots instead. If you look on the far side of the mountains there is another dot. That's you."
"This is very cool," he said. "And what's that?" he asked, pointing to a lone dot located above the mountains.
"That's dad," she said quietly.
He blinked his eyes slowly, overcome by a sudden wave of sadness. He pulled his sister into a hug.
"I'll miss you," he admitted. She buried her face in his chest and squeezed him tight.
After a moment he let go and slipped the bracelet on his wrist, hiding it under his black sleave.
His mother had walked over. Her face now clear of tears, but her eyes red. She picked up her daughter.
"You should go now. I don't want to get you into trouble," she said.
He nodded and rose, taking one last look at them.
"Goodbye," he said, choking on the words.
"Be safe," they replied.
The door opened and closed.
He stood there for a moment, eyes shut, letting the snow blow into his face, feeling the warmth leave his body.
He forced himself to take one step, then two, on and on, again and again; until he was far away.
Until he had left behind everything he had ever cherished.
Reed awoke with tears in his eyes.
He took a few seconds to compose himself, breathing in a gentle rhythm. He silently wiped the tears away.
He hadn't dreamt like this in a while. Paranoia after the Parktown Incident caused him to spent most nights staring at his ceiling, trying not to imagine the worst.
It was unusual for him to go that long without thinking of his family. On reflex, Reed traced the leather bracelet around his wrist, since that day 5 years ago, he had never taken it off.
Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a small family of four. The mother had a little boy asleep in her lap. She herself had fallen asleep and was leaning against the father. On the other side of the man, a little girl was sleeping against the window, her legs resting on her father's knees.
Reed took a deep breath, suddenly reminded of his own siblings. By now, his sister would have grown up so much. She would be 17 years old. Reed wondered how she had matured from the little girl that used to play dress up in his father's old coats. What kind of person had she become? Did she still like animals? Has she pursued her interest in art or did she have a new hobby? Reed would never know.
Then there was his little brother. He had just been 4 years old when he enlisted and 8 when he last saw him. Reed had barely gotten to know him. He wondered should they see each other, if they ever saw each other, would he be able to recognize him?
Reed hoped they didn't despise him for leaving. He hoped that they understood that it was his only choice. Yet, he knew that he would never know. Unless a miracle happened, he would never go home. In his country, once a part of the army, you were never allowed to leave.
The fact that he had to live the rest of his life, never knowing, hurt him immensely. He would rather be certain that they hated him, then be unknowing of their love. In a way he was grateful for his dreams, he was able to remember with crystal clarity the good times they had. Nothing could take that from him.
Part of him truly despised his country. Truly hated his superiors for taking him away from his family. Yet, he knew that that wasn't fair. He had been the one to enlist. It had been out of desperation, but it had still been his choice.
It was ultimately his decision, and he made it knowing exactly what might happen. He knew that he might never return home. He both hated himself for it, and commended himself for his selflessness.
Reed shoved his feelings aside, trying to let the numbness overtake him. He had felt enough for today.
He had to remember what he was. He was merely a faceless soldier, unimportant to the vast scope of war. When he enlisted, he lost the right to personal feelings and ambitions. Now, his one and only duty was to the mission, nothing else.
That didn't make it any easier. As much as Reed harden his heart, he was still living a lie. His rank, his name, his whole life was not his own. He had stolen it. That fact pained him more than any homesickness.
He had been stripped of his family and his identity. He was a spy in a foreign country, whose only loyalty was to the mission at hand.
But what was this mission? It was just some overly ambitious intelligence operation. Nothing more.
Reed shook his head. He had to stop thinking these things. The only one he could truly blame was himself, he didn't get to complain.
'This is all your fault. Your mess you made and your mess to clean up. And now look at you. Look at the mess of a life you live'
Reed tried to focus his attention elsewhere. Nobody else seemed to be awake so he turned his attention to the jacket Hawkeye gave him. Discretely, he hid the gun and knife within his own coat. Then he shoved the jacket as well as the rounds into his bag.
He thought absently of Colonel Mustang and his team. At the mission briefing, Reed felt out of place. It seemed as if everyone had a firm grasp on what was going on, but him. Which was understandable, he wasn't a part of the team. However it raised the question as to why Mustang had chosen him for this mission. If the Colonel was to be believed, it was due to his work on the Parktown incident. But then again, Mustang said that he was going on the mission because the state required two alchemists, and Reed seriously doubted that.
Could Mustang be suspicious of him? It seemed plausible, Mustang was the one to debrief him after the Parktown Incident.
However the events at the debriefing suggested that Edward might be the reason for the Colonel's presence. Why, Reed had yet to find out.
Yet Reed could guess all he wanted and it still wouldn't bring him closer to the truth.
Not knowing made Reed extremely uneasy, but since the mission debriefing Reed had been preoccupied with something else.
Maybe it was just returning to the northeast area, but whatever it was; Reed had been unable to shake the unending feeling of disaster.
And it was getting worse the closer they got to Ukon.
Reed estimated that they were still about 8 miles from Ukon when the train rolled to a stop. Those left on the train began to look around, confused.
"Maybe something's wrong with the engine," someone suggested. Reed doubted that, but before anyone else could voice their thoughts the train conductor entered the car.
"Alright folks." He called out in a loud voice. "This is the end of the line. Everyone heading to Ukon needs to get off the train."
"And what do you mean by that?" One man protested. "Why can't you take us to Ukon?"
"Idiot," another man answered, "The station's destroyed remember."
"Well, nothing's wrong with the tracks," the other man said.
"Be quiet and listen up!" The conductor shouted. "As a matter of fact there is something wrong with the tracks. Those dammed White Wolves have destroyed large sections of it, not to mention they have been looting trains that get too close to their territory. So this is as far that this train goes. If you want to go further, then get your butt off the train and start walking."
"He can't be serious," said someone behind Reed.
"I'm dammed well serious." The conductor spat. "Anyone still on this train in 15 minutes is heading back to Heinsworth."
Slowly those around Reed began to collect their belongings. Reed slipped his book into his bag before rising.
"Just follow the tracks, or what's left of them, and you should be in Ukon by noon." The conductor said. "Oh, and when you get there tell them that another train will be here at this spot at 5 o'clock this evening and they better not be late."
Without another word the man went on to inform the next car. Wondering what that was all about Reed got off the train and looked around. They had stopped in the middle of a field. In the distance one could see a few hills and forests. Reed found himself shuddering at the thought of those woods. He held sour memories of the place and tried his best not to think about it.
About 30 people had gotten off the train. They formed a little group as they began the long walk to Ukon. Reed could see Hawkeye to his left while Mustang and Ed were further ahead to his right.
It was about an hour into their walk when they passed the first ruined track. Those in the front had stopped abruptly, leaving those in the back to wonder what was wrong, but a quick glance told them everything.
The track looked as if someone had pulled it from the ground and tied it in a knot. The metal was stretched and twisted in a way that no ordinary human or machine could ever manage. The group simply stared at it for a few minutes, wondering what the hell they had gotten themselves into. Reed noticed Mustang and Ed toward the front of the crowd, talking in low voices. He guessed that Ed had spotted the transmutation marks on the metal.
Another hour into their walk found them walking through a forest. It was here when Reed started to recognize the landscape. He saw an old windy tree they had used as a meet up point and a boulder, which was actually hollow. Reed might have been gone for years, but nature hadn't changed.
He contemplated for a moment the last time he was here. The Wolves had been merely a small and determined band of rebels. They had been popular among the people, because they looked after their best interests. Their leader never took unnecessary risks. He had been relatively kind to Reed, all things considered. If he hadn't tried to kill Reed so many times, Reed would have found him a man of great respect.
However, from what the military had reported, things had changed.
So far the Wolves had blown up a station, destroyed large areas of track, and been looting trains. And they hadn't even arrived in Ukon.
Things were escalating.
Reed took a casual survey of the group, trying to make it seem as if he was bored, which he was. Hawkeye had kept a consistent pace and was still to his left. However Mustang and Ed had fallen to the back of the group, walking just quick enough to not get left behind. From the quick glance he could spare, it seemed as if the walk was taking a toll on Edward, but he might have imagined it.
Walking was a simple task which allowed Reed's mind to run wild, over analyzing every detail. He wished that he could do something entertaining, like reading his book. Not that he was actually reading it. Sometimes he would have a book and pretend to read it. It helped him look normal. The book he currently had, he chose solely, because it's cover looked cool. Every time he would "read" it, he would move the bookmark forward a few pages. Sometimes he would read a paragraph or two, but nothing more.
On the train, before Reed had fallen asleep, he had read a whole page out of boredom. In that one little page, a boy, whom Reed assumed was the main character, was chasing after his beloved dog, running deeper and deeper into a forest, before getting lost.
It seemed to be a simple story.
It was around noon, when they spotted the town of Ukon in the distance.
Reed's heart began to pound erratically in his chest. He took a deep breath to calm himself.
The hard part had just begun.
Once they entered the town they were greeted by a cheerful man who spoke in one long unending ramble.
"Hello there, you must be the new construction workers. Glad to have you here. My name's Mark. I am in charge of the reconstruction of the Ukon train station. So if you have any questions or concerns feel free to run them by me." Mark said enthusiastically. "Now then there seems to be 1… 2… 3…" he said as he counted the number of people present. "28! Good, little less than we were promised, but we'll make do. Right now it's lunchtime, so no one is at the construction site. But let's take this opportunity for me to show you folks were you'll be staying. Now if you'll follow me…" he said and begun to walk deeper into town, the group awkwardly following.
"You guys will be at that inn." He said pointing to a nearby building. "Lunch doesn't end for another half hour so feel free to take that time to settle in a bit, then be ready to report to the construction site at 1 o'clock sharp. Any questions?" he asked.
Even if they did have questions, no one voiced any. It all seemed straightforward enough.
"Okay, then, I'll leave you folks to it, see you in half an hour," Mark said, leaving.
The innkeepers took no time setting them up in their rooms. Reed's was located on the second floor facing the street. Hawkeye's was next to his. Mustang and Ed were bunked together down the hall. Reed swore he saw Ed's face turn red with the innkeeper said he had put Mustang and Ed in the same room.
As the man had put it, "The young lad will be staying with you, good sir. I'm sure you won't mind keeping an eye on your young apprentice. You know how irresponsible children can be."
Reed was sure that had they not been on a covert mission; that man would have been on the floor nursing a black eye.
For a small town, the rooms they were given weren't that bad. They consisted of a small bed, bath, and some scarce furniture. Reed was content. He had dealt with worse. He sat his bag down on the only chair and looked out the window. He personally had never entered Ukon, but he knew the area well. He sighed, knowing that later he would receive his orders. Up until then this mission had remained relatively straightforward, but after that meeting, anything could happen.
His heart began to beat faster and he had to take slow breaths to calm down.
He waited with his back against his door until he was sure that he had heard everyone else leave the floor. Then he exited his room and quietly rapped on Hawkeye's door before heading down to Mustang's room. Everyone was out at lunch and they hadn't really met anyone yet. This was a good time, most likely one of the only times, the four of them would be able to meet up and not be missed.
Mustang opened the door, letting in Reed and Hawkeye.
"I can't believe you're making me miss lunch." Ed complained once they were all inside. "You do realize that we haven't eaten since the train."
"I understand that, Fullmetal, but this is an important mission and we need to stay focused," Mustang said.
"Well, I can't focus if I'm hungry," Ed said.
Hawkeye, who must have anticipated this, sighed before taking out a sandwich from her pocket and tossed it to Ed.
"You were saying, Colonel," she said.
"Now that we have successfully arrived in Ukon. Our orders are to find out just how much support and members the White Wolves have. Be extremely careful when gathering information and don't ask too many questions. No one in this town knows that we are military. The mayor and his counsel were not told of this mission,"
"You mean the military didn't tell them anything?" Ed asked, his mouth full.
"No, they feared that they might be allied with the White Wolves and didn't want to take the risk. All they know is that the military has been sending construction workers to rebuild the station," Mustang said.
"So, then how are we reporting our findings back to Heinsworth?" Reed asked, even more uneasy then before.
"Ukon has still been sending and receiving mail. We have a preset system; we will address coded messages to a contact in Heinsworth. They should receive our messages in no less than three days," Mustang said.
"And if something urgent happens?" Hawkeye asked.
"Then we deal with it ourselves. The military has asked the Ukon city government to send daily reports on how many workers are present on the construction site. If we go missing, they'll know," Mustang said.
"Not very reassuring," Ed said.
"Well it's a dangerous mission," Mustang said, "All this means is that we have no room for screw ups. That means we don't blow our cover. We don't take unnecessary risks. Don't act like you know each other and don't talk to each other unless you can do so without raising suspicion."
"We get the drill," Ed said, swallowing down the rest of his sandwich. He plopped backwards on his bed, cringing slightly, as if in pain. His grabbed at his shirt collar and rolled his shoulders, forcing himself to relax. "Anyway, those train tracks we saw, they were definitely destroyed with alchemy,"
"You're sure?" Hawkeye asked.
"Yeah, they had transmutation marks," Ed said.
"That means that the White Wolves must have an alchemist among them, and by the looks of it a skillful one," Hawkeye said.
"We should investigate how the station was destroyed. If we can find out who did it-" Mustang said.
"-then we can work backward and find more members of the White Wolves," Ed said, completing his sentence.
"It might be worthwhile to see what Mark knows. He is in charge of the whole project," Reed said.
"Good idea, Reed, you should get close to him, it would be suspicious if all four of us started asking him questions" Mustang said, "Ed and I will keep an eye out for evidence of alchemy. Hawkeye, I want you to analyze the defensive and offensive capabilities of this town and it's inhabitants. Keep an eye out for hidden weapon storages. The next postal truck arrives in Ukon in three days. We will meet again shortly before that."
The first thing Reed noticed when he arrived at the construction site was how utterly destroyed it was. Nothing of the original structure remained and parts of the foundation seemed to have been redone. Whoever destroyed it meant business.
The second thing he noticed was the shouting.
"Come on, Mark. You promised us we could go as soon as you got replacements." One worker argued, "Replacements have arrived, now what's the hold up."
"I'm sorry, but the military requested that no less than 100 workers be working on the station at one time. I asked for 35 replacements and 28 have arrived. That means of the 35 of you who were planning on leaving today, the last 7 cannot leave," Mark said, fatigued.
"Since when does what the military say ever matter?" another worker asked.
"Well, we can either follow their orders or we let them come over here and carry them out themselves." Mark said. His words were met with grumbling. "That's what I thought. Now, those 28 are now free to leave. Everyone else please resume working."
The crowd slowly began to disperse. Reed took a look at the station. They seemed to be working on the basic framework. The afternoon consisted of manual labor and small talk with other workers. Reed took the time to chat with almost every worker he came across, building up a more outgoing persona than he really had. It was so that when he went around asking questions, it wouldn't seem out of place.
He kept an eye out for an opportunity to talk to Mark, but he couldn't find a good time. He didn't see much of Ed and Mustang, as they were working on the other side of the site. Hawkeye, however was working relatively nearby him. Once when Reed could spare a glance, he noticed how she was discretely studying the buildings around them. He became suddenly aware of the gun hidden within his own jacket and traced the leather bracelet around his wrist. Despite meeting her a few days ago, he had a feeling he shouldn't cross her.
As the sun slowly descended down the sky, Reed grew more and more anxious. His meeting with the other Dagger operative was inevitable. That itself was enough to put him on edge, but another thing worried him.
He hadn't seen any members of the White Wolves.
Maybe he wasn't paying attention enough, maybe he had been gone too long and could no longer recognize their faces, but something else was off.
The townsfolk seemed ordinary. They did not seem uneasy. They did not glare or act coldly toward them. Instead, they seemed to have welcomed the construction workers warmly. Yet for some reason, the construction workers were leaving in droves.
If it wasn't for the destroyed train station Reed wouldn't have ever considered the possibility that this town would be affiliated with the Wolves. However he was able to recognize the work of the Wolves' bombs expert.
In a passing comment with some workers he was able to put together how the train station had been destroyed. Reportedly, the townspeople weren't talking about it. One day, a train had simply arrived in Ukon to find the whole station in ruins. However the way they described the wreckage and the fact that the foundation had a slight crater in it made Reed believe that the station had been destroyed with a bomb.
However he knew that he couldn't report that to the Colonel. It would seem suspicious if he was too good at intelligence work.
The best he could do was lay low until he received his orders. He'll figure out everything else after that.
At the end of the workday Reed took the time to help put away all the tools. He did so for two main reasons. One: it would give him an excuse to loiter around the town and meet up with the Dagger Operative. And two: it seemed like the other construction workers were incapable of cleaning up after themselves.
Seriously, everyone had literally dropped what he or she was doing when the workday ended. Some didn't even drop off their toolboxes in the storage shed. Reed spent half and hour bringing all the equipment back to the shed for lock up. Some toolboxes wouldn't even close. Reed found one that held 12 of the same exact screwdriver and later another one which only contained a single brick.
Reed must have been engrossed with what he was doing, because he didn't hear Mark approach until he had spoken.
"Thanks for doing that," Mark said.
Reed looked up. "No problem," he said. Now was his chance to talk to Mark. "When they said this station was destroyed, they really weren't kidding," Reed said, scratching his head.
"You can say that again," Mark said.
"If you don't mind me asking, why are there so many workers leaving?" Reed asked, switching his tone so he sounded more confused then he really was.
"I guess you have a right to know." Mark admitted. "The thing is the resistance group has been vandalizing the station. Twice now, we've had to start from scratch."
"That's a bother," Reed said.
"It's more than that. If we get anymore setbacks the military is threatening to come over and oversee construction themselves," Mark said.
"And you are opposed to that?" Reed asked.
"It's more like half of the town is opposed to it, bringing soldiers to Ukon will only end in bloodshed," Mark said.
"Anything I should be worried about?" Reed asked.
Mark smiled, "You should be fine. The townsfolk have been leaving the construction workers alone. I think they appreciate the extra business,"
Reed nodded, understanding. He closed the door to the shed and began to head back. He paused when he realized Mark wasn't following him.
"You're not coming?" he asked.
"Nope, I'm staying here tonight," Mark said.
"Any particular reason why?" Reed asked. Staying at a construction site overnight didn't sound fun.
"It's nothing," Mark said.
Reed thought quickly. He had to find out why Mark was staying, but he didn't want to push too hard. He had to choose his next words very carefully.
"If it's dangerous, you probably shouldn't be alone. Should I to stay with you?" Reed offered knowing that Mark would decline.
"Oh, no, it's really nothing," Mark said, taken aback.
"Are you sure?" Reed asked.
"Yeah, I'm just staying to make sure no one vandalizes the site, it's nothing big," Mark said.
"Is that safe?" Reed asked, trying to sound naive.
"I doubt they would try anything if there are witnesses around." Mark said. "And the town knows that I am the only thing stopping the military from coming down here, so I don't think they'll hurt me."
"Okay, then," Reed said. He had dug up a reasonable amount of information. If he continued to ask questions, Mark might grow suspicious. Best to wait till tomorrow to dig up anything more.
'So you're just going to leave Mark here by himself'
Reed swallowed, surprised at his sudden concern.
'Mark is just any ordinary person and this is a very dangerous town, he could get hurt'
Reed sighed. He was being unreasonable. Even if he wanted to stop Mark from doing anything potentially dangerous, Reed knew that he should just let Mark be. As a spy he had to look after himself and only himself. He couldn't do anything to jeopardize the mission.
'Still doesn't make it right.'
Reed forced himself to turn away.
"Good night," he called over his shoulder. He could feel guilt building up within himself, but forced himself to ignore it. It was acting on thoughts like these which got him in trouble in the first place. He couldn't take any risks. He took a risk in Parktown mission and it backfired. He just needed to keep his head down until it all blew over.
'You know that not going to work'
Reed closed his eyes, trying his best to ignore his racing mind.