Ok, so I've decided to keep going because holy crap, the ideas I've been having. OMG I'M SO EXCITE FOR YOU TO SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING!

I don't need like, a million people reading this to keep going. Just leave a review every so often so I know you're still interested. Honestly, I'm too excited not to keep going.

Ok, here we go!

Good god, he couldn't concentrate on anything.

His food was finished. He ate like an animal, and the Queen had eyed him warily. He smiled, his meat showing in his a ridiculously handsome womanizing prince, he could be extremely awkward.

But now he just couldn't focus. His eyes kept wandering over to the Queen's heavily exposed cleavage.

When she had arrived she was wearing a small purple cloak over her corset, and James had suavely introduced himself. She grinned lasciviously when he kissed her hand, but poked his tongue out for a split second so as to say 'my tongue is not just for eating my breakfast'.

And then a servant came over while James was scarfing down his food to take her cloak, should she wish it.

She rudely told the servant that it was about time, and removed the piece of fabric seemingly designed only to cover her pale, wonderfully full breasts.

"James, what do you think?"

"They're wonderful."

He looked away from the Queen's chest and saw his father's puzzled look. Had he really said that?

Perhaps his talent for womanizing had died with Jack.

He met the Queen's eyes, and she was staring at him with a confused, yet silently knowing look.

"We were talking about the peasants, James. When have you ever thought peasants were wonderful?"

James cleared his throat. James had never actually hated peasants. His father was the one that thought them to be worthless. James felt they were the only people who ever got anything done. They had to work countless hours to make a fraction of what royal families just had. Of course, to please his father he pretended to feel the same. "Sorry, I didn't mean that they're wonderful, I just meant..." Now was the time to pull something out of your ass James! He'd always been good at bullshitting. Except this time his bullshit would be the truth.

"They're wonderful workers. They've been excellent slaves, so maybe we should start pulling them into the king's army. The whole 'only royals for the higher positions' is kind of BS. Half the royals are wimpy, snot nose, spoon-fed idiots. At least I'm a brawny spoon-fed idiot."

The Queen smiled appreciatively at him, and he winked back. Yeah, he'd gotten his groove back.

Usually he was so capable around women. It's not as if he hadn't seen cleavage before, jesus. It was just that it was her cleavage. She was pretty much his ideal sex partner. Ferocious, demanding and sexy as hell.

His father narrowed his eyes, but continued talking to the woman about politics and other fascinating subjects.

As soon as the discussion was over, the Queen-who bid them to call her Regina-grabbed her cloak from a servant's waiting hands. "I'll visit again. There are some urgent matters that will need to be dealt with in the near future." She shook George's hand and stepped over to James. "Pleasure." James bent down once more, and repeated his treatment of her hand. This time he swirled his tongue a bit. Not enough for his father to see but enough to get the message across. She winked at him when he came back up and exited the castle.

James was about to celebrate his successful flirtation, but his father stepped in front of him.

"You think this is a game?" His arms were crossed, and his expression cold.

"No, father. I was just-"

As always, what he had to say was irrelevant. The king was the one with the power, so the king was the one who got to speak. "You can't whore your way through life! You are a prince. You will not act like a sex-depraved adolescent, you will act like a man destined to rule the kingdom!" His arms had uncrossed by that point, one accusatory finger aimed at James' chest like a weapon. George came close enough to touch his nose with the boy's.

"Now you will go on a trip to visit a new ally of ours. You will act like the future king, and you will be pleasant, straightforward and cordial."

James nodded, his mouth set In a tight frown. As usual, his father was angry at his behavior. That need to please him kicked in and forced his mouth open.

"I'm sorry father. I'll leave at once."

James left and headed in the direction of his room. He had a trip to pack for.

The ride wasn't super long, but it wasn't quick either. James decided to scribble on a piece of parchment for a while, his thoughts mainly focused on what he was doing on this trip. His father hadn't said much to him on his way out, except that a man who had been rumored to have a lot of money was looking for some connections. There was a ball at his castle, and as much as the king didn't find James quite yet fit for the more formal part of ruling a kingdom (politics, keeping track of numbers, memorizing history) his diplomatic skills were a valuable asset...Regina incident aside.

James did love vying for important people's attention. He had always been a smooth talker.

James found himself falling asleep in the carriage, his eyes slowly drooping. A few times he was able to blink himself awake, but in the end sleep took hold of him. It was the nightmare about Jack that had kept him awake. They weren't frequent, and he wasn't necessarily haunted by the dreams. It was just that sometimes his conscience tried to tell him to be less of a dick.

He never listened to that moron.

His sleep went undisturbed until one of the men accompanying him hit him upside the head with the hilt of his sword.

James woke up instantly. "What the hell!"

He looked over to see his cousin Harold standing there, mischievous grin plastered on his face. "You're horrible."

"And you slept like the dead. Queen tire you out?"

James stepped out of the carriage, and before he could answer his mouth hung open in shock. The castle he was standing in front of was made completely out of gold. Harold noticed his reaction and chuckled.

"Yeah, the guy that lives here is massively rich." James nodded. He could see that.

There were a few other carriages dropping off hopeful royals who would also be trying to form an alliance with the family here.

James clapped Harold on the back and said his goodbyes as the brunette drove the carriage off the grounds. He'd be back tomorrow morning to pick James up. That was James' favorite part about diplomatic balls-you got to stay the night. He picked up his one bag and took in his surroundings. Most other people had multiple bags and servants to carry them. James couldn't understand the fuss. It was only one night. Just another reason to admire the peasants and their practicality.

Inside, the castle was much less gaudy, but certainly still flashy. The walls were silver, with gold accents everywhere. The molding was gold as well, with a silver gauntlet resting every so often. He noticed the gauntlet in most places around the castle, and assumed that it was the family crest.

Everyone seemed to be headed to one of the main halls, so James followed them there. He could see, once he entered, a man with curly, golden hair standing at the entrance as the people came in. He greeted everyone with a nod, and a gesture to the girl next to him. She was blonde, and fairly beautiful. Nothing exciting, James noted. Not worth his time.

When he got closer he realized he had forgotten the man's name. This was not good. Perhaps he'd get past this greeting, but he had to talk to him eventually. Not knowing his name would just make it awkward. He tried to listen to the others, but it was too late. It was his turn to greet the king.

"Your highness." James said. He smiled and nodded, and the man did the same back.

"My daughter, Abigail." James stepped towards her and kissed her hand. No tongue, like he did with Regina, just a chaste kiss. She smiled, and he winked before continuing on into the room.

So far, so good.

James spoke to a few of the people he knew, as well as a few family members. He noticed Harold's parents among the mix (his father's quiet brother and his timid wife) and greeted them graciously, saying that Harold was a fantastic addition to the army. What he didn't say was that when he wasn't wielding a sword he was a sarcastic asshole.

"My how you've grown!" a voice said behind him. He saw his Aunt Lydia standing there. This was his mother's sister. He loved the woman, but hated seeing her. She and his mother, Claudia, looked so alike. Of course, he couldn't let the sadness show.

"Aunt Lydia! It's been too long." They embraced, and she talked to him about her husband Damion who was off on business elsewhere. "How is cousin Missy?"

He remembered the girl from his youth. She was always so scared of spiders. One day, while visiting his home, she sat in the garden eating. He couldn't help but capture one of the spiders from a more dusty corner of the castle and set it down next to her. She sat with it for a good ten minutes after James had left it. Then, she went to set her jug of water down and saw the thing sitting there. Boy, did she scream. She ran away so fast, James thought she had disappeared altogether. He noticed her shaking by a tree and he laughed so hard he thought he was going to wet himself.

"She's alright. Going to get married soon. We found a perfect gentleman from the Southern Isles."

James nodded. The Southern Isles only had one royal family, and if it was any one of those thirteen boys Missy was in for a lifetime of spiders next to her while she was eating.

After a few more minutes of mindless chit-chat, James remembered that he still had yet to remember the name of the king here. "Aunt Lydia, could you remind me-"

But then that very man asked the crowd to be quiet for an introduction. He sighed, but turned towards the man in gold.

"I welcome you all here for a night of connections! You were all called here in the name of brotherhood, leadership and alliance. I hope that we may all bask in each other's glory to become kingdoms united." James rolled his eyes. He'd heard all this before. He just wanted the ball to begin so he could score with King Whoever and bed some nameless girl, with time left for a stroll on the grounds.

"I will see you all at dinner in an hour. The servants will show you to your rooms."

He heard names being called, and started listening for his own. He heard all kinds of names, some he knew, others that were foreign. Then there was a loud roar.

"JAMES OF THE ENCHANTED FOREST! PRINCE JAMES OF THE ENCHANTED FOREST!"

He raised his hand and watched as a monster of a man made his way over. "Hey, little guy."

The man frowned and roughly pulled the bag from James. He was taller than him by a head, and could barely fit in the servant uniform.

James followed the man up the stairs until he stopped in front of a golden door. "Here."

The monster threw James' bag to him, and James played it off like it hadn't made him practically topple to the ground. "Thanks, uh…"

"Otis."

James nodded. "Otis. Wow, well uh, tell your mother I'm proud of her."

Otis cocked his head to the side. "Why are you proud of my mother?"

James opened the door to his room and stepped inside. He poked his head back out and said "Why, for pushing your humongous self out of her. I mean, wow. That must have been a living hell."

Otis clearly didn't appreciate the comment. "My mother died during childbirth."

James widened his eyes. "Well, honestly, how could you have expected her to survive? That's like giving birth to an already grown cow."

Before Otis could strangle/maim/suffocate/stab him, James shut the door and locked it.

No his joke hadn't been tasteful. He really didn't care. Tiny would get over it.

Well, maybe.

Let me know what you think! I know Regina was kind of weird in this chapter, maybe, but there will be more of her to come! Also, I know James' sense of humor isn't funny, it's just rude. That's totally on purpose. His one redeeming quality is his lack of pomp, really.