A/N: Well, it seems Soujiro shall come in the NEXT chapter. Responses to reviews are on the bottom. (This is my shortest Authors Notes yet…heh…)
Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin cause Nobuhiro Watsuki does. All I own is this computer and the clothes on my back. Imagine my joy.
"italics"—thoughts
Italics—random stuffs
The clouds rolled peacefully in the evening sky and Kenshin took in a deep breath. The natural fragrance of spring wafted into his nostrils and he released a calm breath, a gentle smile on his face.
There always was something about spring that put him at ease. Watching silently as time goes by and everything comes alive again. The dead blossoms blooming slowly in the every still sun and the smell of life wafting once more in the air. Spring gave him a sense of life. The season of death having passed and the ceaseless cycle of life continuing to rotate on it's axis.
Soft pink sakura petals gently floated down from the treetops, a few landing on Kenshin's fiery red mane. He let out a soft "oro" as he shifted the position of the groceries that he carried in his arms, trying to lighten the weight of his load. He remembered how Kaoru had persuaded him earlier in the day to go buy the groceries, much to his dismay and worry.
The very top item gently began to slide and Kenshin frantically reached up to set it back in place. After a few moments it was glued to its spot.
A chuckle escaped his lips and he continued on his way.
His sandals clacked against the soft dirt trail leading to the Kamiya dojo. Blooming flowers stood in rows at the sides of the road as flower petals littered the trail. It had been months, but during all this time he had grown quite accustomed to this path. The path that led him home, to Kaoru.
His pace instantly quickened as thunder rolled and clapped in the sky. The ends of his smile fell as he walked quickly down the road, his load clanging and jingling in his arms. But it was of no concern. All he could think of now was to return to Kaoru and make sure of her safety.
That was all that mattered.
Lightning swam in the gray clouds and Kenshin's frown deepened slightly as it began to rain. Light droplets of rain fell from the sky and landed on the bridge of his nose and his hair. He stopped for a quick moment, gazing up at the sky as it began to alter from tranquil to a vicious stormy abyss. He let out a sigh and returned to his journey.
He remembered a night somewhat similar to this…with the scent of rain, blood and…white plums.
His brows wrinkled in worry and his walking pace quickly changed to a jog as the downpour began to pelt heavily on his form.
Tomoe.
How he remembered the night he had met her, the words that escaped her lips, the truth woven in the mere statement.
In plays they always say, "A rain of blood fell" . . . But you really made it rain blood.
He shook his head and crossed the bridge that led to dojo muttering a quick "oro" as he slid on a puddle but managed not to fall. The groceries swayed right and left but he stopped for a moment, corrected the problem, and continued. Goosebumps formed on his flesh but he ignored it, knowing it wasn't from the cold. But if not that…then what?
"Kaoru…"
He walked faster, his tabi quickly growing wet from the rain.
Puddles began to form on the trail and he walked around them easily. The wind blew against his form, fiercer than it was before and the smell of spring rain traveled in the breeze.
You really made it rain blood…
No matter how far we wandered, no matter how many lives he would protect, his past always lingered. It was like a virus that wouldn't leave no matter the circumstances. But when he had met Kaoru, the pain in his heart had seemed to be soothed. It wasn't gone but he found comfort in her presence that made the pain bearable.
Tomoe had been the light that had shone during the dark bloody nights of the Bakumatsu. His first love, and she would forever remain in his heart. But then there was Kaoru, who he didn't label as his second love. For she was just Kaoru…in all her infinite glory. No matter how many qualities Megumi may have claimed were poor for a woman Kenshin loved her because of those qualities, because that's who she was, Kaoru.
His gi now clung to his chest as he strode down the road but he smiled and paid no heed. He had Kaoru in his life but…there was one obstacle…
His bloody past, his bloody hands, his bloody self and no way in hell would he stain her purity with the crimson that stained his hands.
No matter how much he loved her he dared not go a step closer to her.
She was like a delicate flower, swaying gently in the breeze. Beckoning for his arrival, wishing for him to come. But he couldn't, he wouldn't. He had built the barrier, the steel wall that separated his heart from hers. Forever he would simply watch, and continue to secretly love her.
That way no one got hurt.
But was that really true?
He cast the very thought into the back of his mind. He couldn't doubt his motives now. Everything he was doing was for her safety and if she was known as "Battousai's Woman" then surely all of the men wanting his head would swarm into the dojo and use her to get to him.
And so he stayed put; loving her but keeping the distance at the same time.
The dojo suddenly came into view—it was about 40 ft away—and he managed a small smile. This was where he belonged; this was his home.
"Tadaima." He whispered quietly to himself as he slid down a hill that sloped downward than continued on a steady pathway. He was about to say it even louder, to signal his arrival until he was interrupted by the shouts resounding from beyond the dojo walls. There was a loud cry and then…nothing.
His heart stopped, his violet eyes widened in alarm and the bag of groceries dropped onto the mud as he raced toward the dojo, running swiftly through the muddy pathway.
"Gods no…"
"KAORU!" He shouted, his heart pounding strongly his chest. He felt as if his heart was going to burst out of his chest. Not because of exhaustion but because of fear of what might have happened to Kaoru.
"KAORU!"
Please be alright…
The shouts continued once more and then stopped, but his pace didn't falter as he neared the gate, his breaths coming out shallow and weak. "Faster," he thought as his feet pounded against the muddy ground. "KAORU!" The pain of knowing that she was harmed because of his absence…even worse killed. He couldn't bear it, he just couldn't!
"Don't think like that, just run faster!"
Adrenaline pumped fiercely through his veins and he had a momentary burst of speed, mud spraying in the wake of his footsteps. Thunder clapped in the sky once more and then there was silence, aside from the rain as it pelted down on his running form.
"KAORU!"
His face paled as he saw the dojo gate open and he let out another shout as he burst through the door. "KAORU!" Kenshin gasped as he tried to regain his breath, his chest rising up and quickly falling back down. Thunder flashed in the tempestuous sky and illuminated on the form, which was crouched to her knees on the ground.
Kaoru's head lifted abruptly and he inhaled sharply as he saw her tear streaked face. Her hair was wet and ran down the path of her jawline as her clothes clung to her like a second layer of skin. She sniffed and wiped hastily at her eyes. "Kenshin…" She trailed off as she slowly rose to her feet, her knees trembling slightly.
"Kaoru-dono…" He took a few calming breaths before taking a step closer to her. He gave her a quick scan. "Are you alright?" He was answered with a simple nod and then a sniff.
His eyes narrowed as they quickly roamed around the dojo, scanning like violet lasers for anything wrong with the scene. Everything seemed to be in order and he could not sense the presence of anyone's ki aside from Kaoru and himself.
"I'm alright Kenshin…really…"
He ignored her comment and asked. "Kaoru-dono, was someone here?"
This time he received a shake and he took a step closer, now standing right in front of her. He could hear the pounding of his heart, like the constant beating of a drum and his shallow breaths as he stood before Kaoru. He lightly took her chin with his index finger and lifted her head so that her watery sapphire orbs were looking into his violet eyes; paying no mind to the closeness of their bodies. "Kaoru, are you sure that nothing happened here?"
He didn't even note the dropping of the usual suffix he added to her name but he honestly didn't care. Right then, the most important thing was Kaoru and her safety. Kenshin took in a sharp breath as felt the small puffs of her breath brush against his face and noticed right then the proximity of their bodies.
He took a step back, muttered an apology and let go of her chin then asked the question calmly once more, acting as if nothing had happened. "Did anything happen de gozaru yo?"
She shook her head, a light crimson staining her cheeks as she too took a step back. "N-no Kenshin nothing happened…"
She was lying, badly, and he could tell. He frowned but kept his distance. "Kaoru-dono, if that's true than why were you crying?" Kaoru sniffed. "It was just the thunder that scared me…nothing else…" Kenshin opened his mouth to retort but Kaoru gave a quick bow and stammered. "I f-feel tired…s-so I'll go to sleep now." She turned around, picked up her bokken and began to make her back to the house before stopping in midstride.
There was silence as the storm roared above them, both Kenshin and Kaoru's breathes heavy and uneven as they stood apart. Kaoru's hands clenched tightly around the hilt of her bokken as a few tears ran down her cheeks, unknown to Kenshin.
"I'm sorry Kenshin…and…good night."
She wiped away at the emerging tears and rushed inside the house, disappearing from view.
Kenshin remained stunned, his feet planted on the ground as if roots sprouted and gotten hold of his legs. His fiery red hair now caked his face and he shivered involuntarily.
It wasn't from the rain but from the cold sharp pang of hurt in his chest, his heart.
"I love you…and that's why I can't have you…"
"Kaoru…"
Minutes passed and he stood there in shock until Sano and Yahiko returned back home, their loud voices disturbing the quiet. He didn't even speak when they called out his name, still stunned from Kaoru's actions.
"What's wrong Kaoru…? What happened?"
He shook his head and without even looking he spoke to the two. "Come, let us rest for tonight." His voice was hard and solemn and both Sano and Yahiko knew that this was not the time to question him. He stepped inside the house, his ponytail swaying with him, then turned his head around and gave the two a small smile.
The two, though thoroughly confused, found the prospect of sleep agreeable and so followed Kenshin inside the house. All three stopped in front of their designated rooms before Sano turned around to face Kenshin, fishbone caught between his teeth.
"Ya know, you're gonna haveta tell us what happened tomorrow."
Kenshin smiled and opened the shoji to his own room. "Don't worry Sano, I will." Sano nodded, spit out his fishbone and muttered a quick "night" before both he and Yahiko entered into their rooms.
Kenshin nodded and stepped into his room, closing the shoji with a soft click. He took note of the futon lying idly in the middle of the floor but, almost instinctively, went to the far right corner of his room. He blew at the space, made sure it wasn't dirty, and rested himself against the wall; his sakabato placed across his chest as usual.
He let out a sigh and gazed at the shadows dancing in the ceiling.
"Tomorrow Kaoru, tomorrow you'll tell me what happened."
He nodded his head and closed his eyes, drifting into shallow dreamless sleep.
What he didn't know was that for the next few months tomorrow would never come.
The night had fallen and everyone in the dojo had already drifted to sleep, despite the unanswered questions that plagued their heads. Their minds having been cast into a world of virtual reality and away from the harsh truth of life. A slip from reality and entrance to a whole different place, where the truth can or cannot be hidden. But there was one person, aside from Kenshin, that could not enter this realm of dreams, a young woman who at that moment was readying for her departure.
Kaoru Kamiya would have to leave tonight.
She didn't know whatwould happenif she were to look into Kenshin's eyes the next morning. She couldn't keep this facade up any longer and she would not lie to his face again. For this reason she would leave the Kamiya dojo and it's residents, tonight.
"I really am...sorry..."
Her sapphire eyes shone dully in the shadows of the night as she placed a folded cloth inside the bag. She quickly grabbed an umbrella and a shinaiplaced in the corner of the room, stuffed it inside the pack and closed it tight with a soft click. For a few moments she sat and stared at the pack in silence. Seconds passed and withered into minutes until the peace was broken by her sigh. She stood and looked around her room, for what she believed to be the last time. Every nook and cranny, every corner and mark in this room she etched into her mind to remember in the future.
Kaoru had already changed from her previous wet clothes into something warmer and comfortable. She now wore a simply white gi and a navy blue hakama. Kaoru bent over, picked up a cerulean scarf that was strewn on the floor and wrapped it clumsily around her neck. Her fingers ran through her wet hair and she took out her wet hair tie, her black hair now flowing in smooth black free locks down her back.
Kaoru then crouched to her knees and opened a drawer, grabbed a paintbrush, ink, two pieces of paper, a new dry hair tie, and a red bandanna, similar to Sano's.
She stood before tying her hair once more into a high ponytail, and then tied the bandanna around her head. She was now a wanderer, a drifter, and the headband would serve as a constant reminder if that fact.
Kaoru sighed and crouched down to her knees once more before grabbing the paintbrush and dipping the tip inside the ink. She pulled it back out and in a neat kanji she wrote the words that had cast her into depression months ago. The words that she had wished that Kenshin would never say again but ironically she was the one writing it.
Sayonara.
Her hands shook and she stopped for a few moments before continuing. She stifled a sob and held back the emerging tears before signing it with her name. She looked over her note and nodded, satisfied with what she had written and then placed the note into an envelope and sealed it. Kaoru then stood and grunted as she hefted the slightly heavy pack onto her shoulders, the letter clutched in her left hand and bokken held in her right.
Slowly, she opened her shoji and glanced up and down the hallway. When it seemed clear she stepped back into her room and gave it a good survey. This had been her room the moment she had been born; this was where she had dreamed, where she had cried. This room was hers and no one else's even when she would be gone. A sharp pain traveled through her heart and she placed a hand over her chest before whispering.
"Good bye…"
And with that said she stepped into the hallway and quietly slinked into the dining room. She peeked inside the room and almost smiled as a plate of rice balls sat idly in the middle of the table. She made her way slowly inside the room, her footsteps smooth and quiet as she walked over the tatama mats, and quickly wrapped the riceballs with the other piece of paper and stuffed them into her pack.
Kaoru then stepped out of the dining hall, put on a pair of sandals, and dashed across the courtyard, ignoring the pounding of the rain against her form. Slightly out of breath, Kaoru stopped right before the gate and looked right and left, to make sure that no one was awake. Satisfied, she took in a sharp breath and straightened herself, gazing up at the gate that stood in front of her. The gate towered above her and shone with evident pride and Kaoru could not but give it a small smile. But it disappeared just as quickly as it had come, leaving her face etched with a sad frown.
Tonight, this doorway seemed different. No longer was it just a gate that separated outsiders from the dojo, no longer was it a simple door. Tonight, this gate was the line between her past and future, the gateway to a different realm. None of which she has experienced before.
As soon as she set foot out of the dojo she would no longer be Kamiya Kaoru, shinodai of the Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu. Instead she would be a wanderer, traveling alone in the roads of Japan, not sure of her destination.
Tears spilled from her eyes and ran down her cheeks, despite her efforts to hold them back.
She was crossing a thin line between her old life and a new one, her future very much vague and obscured. Uncertainty rushed through her veins as she placed the note on the handle of the gate and opened it. The rain was still falling from the sky and she took out an umbrella from her pack and opened it above her head, bokken still in her right hand and the handle of the umbrella in her left. She faced the door with all her anger, confusion and grief, tears still rolling down her cheeks.
"For all of them, for the sake of their lives…I can't be afraid, I won't be afraid."
Despite her thoughts her hands began to tremble as she took a small step forward, still not through the gate.
"I don't want to be alone and I don't want to leave my friends worried but…"
She took another small step.
"If it means that they'll die…."
Another, then another, but still she hadn't crossed the line.
"Then I'd rather live a life of loneliness rather than regret."
She threw her shoulders back and held her head high as the wind rushed around her form. A few drops of rain hit her face but she didn't care. A fiery determination burned in her eyes once more as she took the final step outside. There was silence and then she smiled. A new adventure had begun for her and she would face it without fear. That was what she promised to herself, right there in the pouring rain.
"And maybe I'll come back Kenshin." She turned to look back at the dojo.
"Maybe…"
The future was unclear but the present was here and now and she felt good about herself. She held the umbrella above her head and her grip on her bokken tightened.
"But for now I'll hold my head high and start my quest."
And with that said she turned around and set off on her journey.
And the rain still fell but this time, she was smiling.
A/N: Ok, I MUST admit if anyone thinks this chapter as boring than that's all right. This is just the exposition and when she meets Soujiro and it may get more interesting and less…blah…
I tried really hard with this chapter and I hope that most of you will like it. Flames and Constructive Criticism are all accepted. PLEASE REVIEW!
Also, I didn't like how Sano and Yahiko just sorta came and stayed there for a few seconds (Yahiko didn't even SPEAK!). I'll use them more often in later chapters and I'll have them speak more. But I'm just getting used to the characters personalities but hey; I guess there's no excuse.
Anyway, here are my responses to my reviews!
Grdiang3l: Thanks for the compliment and I'll try to update more. Right now we're in break so I was able to post this chapter.
Punkey-Monkey: Ah yes, Kaoru will be doing that soon. Hee-hee, sorry for the suspense but I didn't really think that there was much of any in this fic.
Shinigami95: I had fun writing that part and I'm glad you enjoyed it. I shall update as much as I can.
Thanks to you three reviewers and I hope that more people review!