Well hello again ^.^ I am back.. finding inspiration is a difficult task you see. However, I did manage to write this chapter up. I'm not quite sure where this will be headed yet but eventually I'll figure it out. Also, any and all feedback is appreciated. This is my first fanfic and I'm not quite sure where my writing capabilities stand..
As always, Disclaimer: I do not own these characters nor the song mentioned.
Chapter 2
1 Month later, Mid-October
Today was Friday, and we had finally gotten a long deserved break from school. Personally I could not have been happier to get a day off, with the constant pressure it felt wonderful to unwind and relive stress through sleep.
However, that would not remain so for much longer.
Waking me from the much needed rest was my phone. As it buzzed next to my pillow a few times I became fully alert and turned over to check it. The time it read was 8:17 am.
"Ugh who is bothering me this early in the day?" I mumbled to myself irritated. Then picked up the phone, swiped down and checked my notifications. What I viewed next nearly floored me. The question was why now? My eyes read the words over and over. Trying to find comprehension. I got up from my bed and began to pace around the room. Oh yeah, my stress and anxiety was coming back, big time.
Hey, Helga.. I still have a few of your things. I'd like to return them if that's alright with you. Meet me down by my house later. -Arnold
Why was Arnold of all people speaking to me again? Didn't he have the least amount of consideration for me? Wasn't I the last person on this planet he would speak to? I had to urgently call Phoebe, now.
…"Well Helga I just wouldn't read too much into it. Its Arnold being Arnold, you know how he is" I could hear Phoebe trying to talk me back into some rational sense. But alas, failure.
Well, this conversation could of gone better I thought.
Nearly letting my frustration out I pleaded with my best friend "Pheebs can you not crush my hopes for once? I'm head over heels for the guy still." I sighed. It was too late, hope was crushed indefinitely. Bracing myself for the next response I curled up on my bed.
"Helga, you guys have been broken up for over a month. Neither of you have spoken a word to one another. I doubt he's reaching out for a second chance." She finished bearing annoyance in her voice.
But there it was, the sense I needed to have knocked into me. I had done relatively good over the past month ensure that my feelings stayed safe guarded. Of course, I would falter every now and then with a moment of weakness. This was one of those times.
Knowing our talk was coming to an end I said my goodbyes "Well.. I'll talk to you later Phoebe, but I can't promise I won't do anything stupid!" with my exclamation I had spoken all I needed to say.
"Alright Helga. But please take some of my advice, okay? I'd hate to see you end up getting hurt because of false hope" Phoebeended in a light tone.
"I'll try Pheebs, I really will" I said, not quite believing myself. And with that the call ended, signaling for me to get up and get prepared for what would come in the next few hours. My emotions would be overthrown, and in the most dreadful way possible.
"Okay... grey or cream?" I said to myself, holding up two sweaters. Though neither satisfied me. "Ugh, this really shouldn't be difficult. It's not a date Helga, it's to get your shit back remember?" Rationalization, what could that be? Not for today it seemed. Throwing myself onto the bed I tossed both sweaters to the floor.
It seemed I was already defeated. As I had been for the majority of my short lived existence. "I'm not supposed to act so..depressed. I'm Helga G Pataki dammit. I'm passionate, a writer, a lover..." Trailing off I gazed out of the window. Ombré leaves melted onto the pane of glass. Droplets of water trapped them from blowing elsewhere. What a dim melancholy day.
Granted, I felt compelled to take a risk. Life would not be life without it in some form. I was going to fuck up, that much I knew. Maybe I was much gutsier than previously when I was younger but still feared rejection. Yet I had already been rejected.
"To hell with it.." I thought to myself.
It was nearing one-thirty in the afternoon, I decided it was the optimal time to leave. Grabbing one of the sweaters off the floor I headed out, pulling it over my head. It was grey. Grey like the day. Rain sprinkled the ground around me and the familiar chill swept through my body.
Popping my earbuds in one of my favorite 70's songs began to play. It held a meaning too true nowadays.
Hello it's me….
Goosebumps prickled my delicate skin.
I've thought about us for a long long time
My combat boots crunched the fallen leaves, the air reeked of burning firewood. Which I always thought as one of the more defining smells of autumn. Carved pumpkins sat upon stoops and some even decorated with more than that.
Maybe I think too much but something's wrong, there's something here that doesn't last too long..
I always had a usual routine when it came to going to Arnold's. Cut through the alleyways and climb up to the fire escape…Not that I didn't love his eccentric family. The surprise he would generate each time I showed up suddenly was why I did it.
Maybe I shouldn't think of you as mine
But today it seemed the usual couldn't suffice. It was no longer appropriate. I had to consider something other than. My nerves were turning me to anything but confident.
Seeing you…Or seeing anything as much as I do you
Today, we would have a detour.
I take for granted that you're always there, I take for granted that you just don't care
I walked until I found a coffee shop. As coffee had always settled me in some strange way.
Sometimes I can't help seeing all the way through
Walking in, the warmth gracefully wrapped itself around me. My indecisiveness that had plagued me was finally laid to rest, as I settled on a chocolate frappé. When in doubt, always settle on the familiar. Sipping the sweet drink to calm me down.
It's important to me...that you know you are free..
Finally, I would head to my destination. Now it was nearing two. I was closing in on Arnold's residence, the warmth I had received was long gone. Replaced with the reminder of these next impending moments.
Cause I'd never want to make you to change for me
"Well… here goes nothing I guess" I grasped the ladder to Arnold's fire escape. Carefully moving with each step, as the rungs were worn with years of rust. I climbed to the roof then threw my legs over the brick and concrete.
"Wow, I can't believe I still got it.." I muttered almost inaudibly.
"That doesn't surprise me.." a voice from behind me spoke up. Nearly making me have a heart attack.
"Jesus Football Head!" I yelled "Are you trying to cause my premature death?!" I gripped the ledge tightly.
He gave a smirk then spoke once more "Of course not Helga, but you can't always be the one to surprise me"
"Well ha ha then Mr. Funny, you got me this time" I replied dripping with sarcasm. Continuing on "Anyways, where is this stuff that is so imperative for me get on this lovely fall day?"
"Hmm, well I have a few of your books that you lent to me a while ago. I thought you would like me to return them" He smiled warmly through me.
Slowly standing up I replied awkwardly "Uh, yeah…that'd be cool" I prayed that he couldn't read me at this very moment. Inside I was shaking, the effects this guy has on me were deadly.
Arnold walked towards me and put his arm around my chilled shoulders then made his suggestion "How about we go inside for a while?" reluctantly I agreed. He walked me over to his open window and I slid down. The room was home to me. My safe haven away from the place I should have called home.
I watched as Arnold jumped off his bed. He walked over to the stereo and turned on the radio. "I bet you still love your classic rock right?"
Nervously I responded "Of course I do dipshit, who do I look like?" Giving him a playful smile. For a moment it felt as if the passion had never faded. Laying back on the bed I could smell his scent, I wanted to stay. I wanted to be wanted by him again.
"Just making sure, you always got annoyed when genres like country would come on" Arnold drifted off. I noticed his eyes darting around, always making a pause back to me. He sat on his couch legged now remaining silent.
Feeling determined to do more than small talk today I became inquisitive "So, how's your life been for the past month..?" I glanced over to his normally vibrant eyes, now dulled as he spoke. I instantly regretted asking.
Speaking quietly he began "Well.. My family had been contacted by the authorities down in San Lorenzo a few weeks ago. They told us they had found my parents, however they had been long gone by then.. they revealed they had been viciously murdered from what it seems…" He paused. Depression fell on his face.
I felt such sorrow for him. He never deserved something so unfortunate to happen to him. "I'm so sorry Arnold…" I walked over to him and held him tight. He held me with just as much intensity. Letting go I gazed into his eyes.
"You didn't deserve your parents to be taken away like that. Not you" morose was now hitting me as well.
"It'll be okay Helga.. I just wish I had gotten to know them. That's what pains me the most" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath "I know that they loved me, and that's what's important"
They weren't the only ones to love you Arnold.. My thoughts overtook me. The advice Phoebe had given me was definitely not going to work.
"I'm not quite sure what to say now" I said honestly. Scooting over respectively to give him space.
"I wouldn't expect you to Helga, but just having someone here to listen is more than enough" He got up and walked to a shelf "You should probably get your things though, that was the purpose of you coming here"
I got up myself and went over to him. I was going to fuck up, I was going to lose self-control. He made me want to give him all of my love. There was no way he wouldn't get my love. We stared for a moment. And then…I leaned in.
Chapter 2 is now complete(: I hope you guys enjoyed it. The next one should get things picked up to a faster pace.