Alright! Second chapter of Mr. Crackfick! (I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, I do not steal Fullmetal Alchemist, I do not eat Fullmetal Alchemist)

Edria took step after step, the harsh winds pushing her back. She had to do this, for her chicken nuggets! She drew in a sharp breath and struggled onward, towards the eye of the storm. Drawing every ounce of strength she had in her rather *ehem* small body with every step and-

"You know *Scwack* You could just *PeepPeep* Turn off the giant fan, right?" Alpine asked, flying over to the 2898 foot tall fan and flipping the switch from 'on' to 'off'.

"Damnit Alpine! you had to ruin the moment, didn't you? You just couldn't let me be sirious for one paragraph?"

"No."

"Oh, well alright."

"Sqwack"

"Shut up." And Edria Elric shot her bird, but only for a reson to Angst, ya' know? "Oh Alpine, why? You were so young and, and, and annoying! Edria sniffed. You totally deserved to die! It's so sad! .. And nobody likes me because I'm boring! And I hate myself! And, oh Alpine, why?"

Just then Envy came crashing through the roof of.. The place they were in and Edria jumped into the most ninja fighting stance ever.

"What do you want Envy? I'm busy!"

Envy put his hand over his chest and swooned dramaticly, "I want your love! You see, in a normal world, despite what some people may think, I HATE you, as was originally written. But this is NOT an ordinary world, therefor, I will fall for you, my half sister, you will hate me at first. Then one night you lie awake looking at my beautfilly sculpted chest, and finally realise you love me. Then we make a ton of babies, who are all female, perfect, and named after dead people."

"No! I love Alpi- Oh. Well alright then."

"Oh, one other thing, I'm a werewolf. But don't worry, I wont turn you into one, because I have self control and everything."

"Not so fast! now that Edward is a female by the name of Edria, people will overlook the fact that if I have smex with her, it wil make me a complete pedophile! Beside's I'm a vampire, so I am unbelievably sexy!" Roy Mustang ran in with his vampiric superspeed and got in an awesomly epic Vampire/Werewolf battle with Envy, and in the end they bight eachother, turn into Werepires, and are bestest friends. Whilst Edria and her quest for chicken nuggets is forgotten, because. Well. Nobody wants to hear it.

The End.